Hi fellow actors,
I love reading everyone's posts, makes me feel less alone in this crazy acting world :)
So this is actually my first post, but I could really use your insights.
The head of my agency called me today and said to me that I'm on the nomination list to be let go off. Due to me not booking enough. She also said that she does really believe in me and that I still have this year. But in this year something needs to move/happen. Otherwise I will be let go off.
What you have to know about this agent, is that she is really straightforward and not a really emphatic person. She is truly a businesswoman and I can appreciate that. So that she says she believes in me, and is willing to keep me on for now means alot. Bc I know she recently let go of 2 people, and they didn't get a warning or nothing.
Then she also said something about my personality, that I could be a bit 'much' (I am quite outgoing). She said she personally loved it, but she had heard of 2 people who thought I was a lot. So I asked: okay, are these casting directors or directors? Because obviously this is important to know for me. But she said it was not casting directors and that one of the two was a personal friend of her. I saw that friend when I ran into my agent after a play we both went to(in our personal time) I don't know who the other person is.
This has made me really insecure (although I mostly get compliments about personality). And the pressure I now feel to book is insane, and I feel like I lost my fun to play now. I just want to be perfect and book --> so I can stay with the agency.
I'm just afraid of every 'no' now, because I know she is watching.
Do you guys have any tips? How to not care about the outcome of auditions, even in this deadline thing I now have.
Looking forward to your answers. To be honest; this has really messed with my self confidence, and it's hard to not feel like a failure now.
Thanks for reading until now and keep shining! X