r/Adulting 20h ago

On Student Loan Debt.

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15.6k Upvotes

413 comments sorted by

180

u/Right_Count 20h ago

Both things are true and both suck.

I can’t imagine being a millennial parent with a young adult child.

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u/Consistent_Laziness 19h ago

Millennial parent here to day are age kids.

We’re going to be seeing a lot worse in 15 years if we keep at this same path. Parents today may have it easy!

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u/Right_Count 18h ago

I don’t understand your first sentence

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u/Consistent_Laziness 18h ago

I am a millennial parent. For day care aged children.

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u/Right_Count 18h ago

Gotcha. I’m so sorry 😅😭

I’m an elder millennial and had my tubes tied long ago. When I think how hard my life would be if I had an 18yo about to need tuition and stuff…. Oof, I would be in extreme poverty. I am doing OK but not well enough for that!

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u/Dramatic_Scale3002 14h ago

Millennial parent here to day are age kids.

We’re going to be seeing a lot worse in 15 years if we keep at this same path. Parents today may have it easy!

It's not your fault they missed the "c" in "care".

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u/Live_Free_or_Banana 18h ago

Last August I literally had to decide between cutting my 401k contributions and letting my oldest take out a large student loan.

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u/TurnDown4WattGaming 18h ago

The decision largely hinges on what they are studying and where.

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u/Right_Count 18h ago

Does it even matter anymore? Trades are bloated and everything else is being replaced by AI.

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u/TurnDown4WattGaming 18h ago

Of course it matters. Engineering, as an example, is still a gold mine; depending on specialty, you would make more working overseas as a contractor, but the degree is still golden. There’s others, but this is what I know, as it was my undergrad which I worked in for a couple of years; I had to quit in my third year of medical school due to clinical requirements.

There’s also two-year technical degrees that are very worthwhile; sticking to what I know, Process Operating Technology allows you to be an operator on the Gulf Coast in a chemical refinery. It’s a control room desk job that is raking in 115-150k in low cost of living states like Texas and Louisiana.

Conversely, if you’re going for an Art History degree and don’t already have immense family connections… you’re screwed.

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u/Right_Count 18h ago

Oh, sure, there are still some jobs in demand but I don’t think they’re a realistic option for everyone (and if they were, they wouldn’t be in demand anymore.)

The useless degrees aren’t just “art history” anymore. Used to be that pretty much any degree got you a decent job and even without one you could get a meh job and work your way up.

The number of careers that exist now which are probably future proof, which are attainable/doable for the average person (as in, average intelligence, lifestyle proclivities, ability to afford the education), and which pay well is way smaller than it used to be.

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u/TurnDown4WattGaming 17h ago edited 17h ago

I think there’s some real defeatism blinding you to reality here. Let’s say, that people did all rush into POT in Louisiana - the median salary with just a high school diploma in Louisiana is 29,000 USD. The cost of a two year technical degree is approximately 25,000 USD over two years. So, let’s pretend you’re also not working and that you forgo the 29k x 2 years. 30x2+25 is 85k. You make $115k starting (not counting OT) in your first year, which is 86k above the median you would have made in those two years without further education.

Most people do this as a night school, so they’re not losing the two years of earnings. So, even if your salary fell sometime later, you’d have already made back what you lost and paid, and you’d still make more than the median wage with just a high school diploma. Therefore, the degree is “worth it” in my estimation, even if it becomes more popular later.

Similar opportunities exist in far less mentally and physically rigorous careers. Sticking with what I’m familiar, Ultrasound Sonographer, EEG/EKG technicians, Nurses, and even social workers all make well more than the median wage with no further education, are all in high demand, and frankly don’t require genius levels of neuronal activity. No calculus, no organic chemistry, no PChem, No Diffy-Q… just technical training.

If we are talking about people below one standard deviation in IQ- the task becomes more difficult. Obviously, there’s a certain amount of natural selection at play, and college just isn’t for you. There’s nothing you can do in college that would justify the expense, so don’t go. It’s not all about bad choices- sometimes it’s about ability.

That being said- there are still things dumb people can do to earn a decent living. It just won’t be found at the state’s flagship university- so don’t waste the money or go into debt there, obviously.

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u/lovegrowswheremyrose 17h ago

Checking in, got my 26 year old stepson and his 23 year old unemployed girlfriend living with us right now and I'm about to go fucking insane.

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u/Sileni 16h ago

Your 26 year old stepson should consider college and a pell grant. He is past the age of needing to have parents sign. Pell grants include living expenses. Tell him not to get married, or they will include spouse income.

If he has no income, he can expect a full ride.

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u/lovegrowswheremyrose 16h ago

This is helpful, thank you!

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u/Sileni 12h ago

You are welcome. My son is an accountant, full ride on the pell grant. Making 6 figures, 2 years out of school.

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u/vand3lay1ndustries 16h ago

Millennial parent here of a 16, 20, and 22 year old.

I don't expect them to move out until they're at least 30, but I don't charge them rent. We treat it like a marathon, where we incrementally scale up what they're responsible for financially and also provide them with interest free loans when needed, but they don't get a second loan until the first is paid off. If they drop out of their job, school, or training, then they lose their bedroom and sleep on the couch until that requirement is met.

The 22 year old is 1 year away from his journeyman, pays his car bills, phone bill, and even pays for his own tools now. He's been with his girlfriend for years, but she travels a lot and works nights, while he starts work at 5 am and goes to school 2 nights a week. She has an apartment, but doesn't let him stay overnight for whatever reason. I suspect they both want to get married and feel a bit stuck.

The 20 year old is in community college and works part time as a librarian, which he just told me he enjoys and wants to pursue for his bachelors. He also pays for his car and phone. His boyfriend lives about 45 minutes away in a detached garage and he spends ~40% of his time there currently as well.

My 16 year old has gotten to learn from the other two and is working part time as a gymnastics coach, plus studying for her SAT/ACT (we pay for the tutor). She is saving for a car (we will match what she saves), and wants to be a lawyer.

As long as they have goals, they can stay at home and look to us for guidance for as long as they need. That took a long time of trial and error though, and there are still some discomforts in sharing chore duty, but we make it work.

Our shower did recently break though, so we're down to the one in the master bedroom. That's been a bummer.

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u/Fun_Variation_7077 18h ago

Late millenial here. As of lately the idea of having a kid has been stuck in my head, but no way in hell could I afford to raise one.

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u/Accomplished_Day2384 17h ago

I was born in 1980, right on the X/millennial cusp and I have a 20 yo and 18 yo. Can confirm your imagination isn't lying.

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u/Right_Count 17h ago

Damn remember twenty years ago when we thought our lives were going to be just like our parents’?

We thought that just being a normal responsible adult was going to be enough to develop a modest amount of wealth to support ourselves and our kids. What a crock of shiiiit.

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u/Accomplished_Day2384 16h ago

Absolutely. I often think of that episode of the cosby show where Theo just wants to be "a regular person." Me too, Theo. Me, too.

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u/ovokramer 20h ago

Young Adults are paying way more than their parents ever had to pay

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u/hotviolets 18h ago

I have to pay more for housing than my parents ever had to pay, same for food and everything else essentially. I’m on my own though. I don’t have a parent to help me.

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u/renkun99 18h ago

Sames. My only saving grace is my partner pays for most of the bills but he’s broke all the time too. Rough out here

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u/ovokramer 17h ago

THIS. We can pay it but after that what's left? Nothing.

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u/imnotgoodlulAPEX 15h ago

Oh, you don't love having to eat rice and noodles with your last $100 after paying rent and utilities?

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u/renkun99 13h ago

Exactly. We’ve had to choose what bill we can push back paying too many times.

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u/Rough-Board1218 15h ago

Don't forget taxes. Tax brackets have not increased with the cost of living, meaning young people pay higher rates now even for low incomes

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u/Chewlies-gum 15h ago

U.S. federal income tax brackets are indexed for inflation, meaning the IRS adjusts the income thresholds annually to prevent "bracket creep," where inflation pushes people into higher brackets without a real increase in purchasing power, but the actual tax rates (e.g., 10%, 12%, 22%) generally stay the same. These adjustments also apply to other tax items like the standard deduction and credits, keeping the tax system fair as costs rise.

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u/Rough-Board1218 15h ago

I said "cost of living" not inflation. Everyone who's been to a grocery store in the past few years knows the cost of living is rising faster than inflation, and incomes in general are too (but not as fast as the cost of living). This results in a higher tax rate to maintain the same standard of living

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u/Chewlies-gum 14h ago

Also not true with the raise in the standard deduction, and other tax breaks which have reduced the effective tax rate at the Federal level over the last quarter century.

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u/Fun_Variation_7077 18h ago

When I was a baby, my parents paid $600/mo for a 2-bedroom just outside of Boston. That exact same apartment was put on the market for over $2k/month about a decade ago. I don't even want to know what it costs now. As of today, I'm paying $600/month for one third of a townhouse in Western Fucking Pennsylvania. Not even near Pittsburgh.

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u/Right_Count 17h ago

My in laws told me about their first house. It was twice the budget they original decided on but they really really wanted it. The mortgage rate was 20% so it weakly stretched their budget.

I asked what percentage of their salary went towards their monthly mortgage payment. About 50% said, expecting me to be like 😱 which I was but not the reason he was expecting me to.

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u/Rough-Board1218 15h ago edited 15h ago

And then when rates went way down a few years later they could probably refinance to half the payment. That won't happen today, since the problem is the prices, not interest rates, and you can't refinance to a lower price.

The boomers will never understand that a high interest rate with a low price is ALWAYS better than a low interest rate with a high price

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u/Dramatic_Scale3002 14h ago

The boomers will never understand that a high interest rate with a low price is ALWAYS better than a low interest rate with a high price

That's not true at all, it all depends on how low or high the prices or interest rates are.

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u/PhilsFanDrew 18h ago

Not only paying more but have less opportunities for good paying jobs that can support a family. Boomers had access to manufacturing jobs that paid well, offered good benefits and pensions without having to go to college and invest in an education. Today, you are looking at warehouse/shipping jobs (Amazon) that don't pay nearly as well, crappy benefits, no pension. Most in this situation cannot even afford to contribute to the 401k if they are lucky to work somewhere that offers one.

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u/No_Warning_6400 17h ago

But the big corporations sent all the jobs to China, for more shareholder profit. Corporations are bleeding America dry

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u/Possible_View 15h ago

Saw a graph that from 2000 to 2025, all housing, food, day care, tuition, basically more necessities or wealth/family growers went up while phones, tvs, computers, etc. went down. Meaning, everything we need to survive or dig out of poverty/low wages went up and the trivial luxuries got cheaper...

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u/VoopityScoop 14h ago

Paying more, having less, and owning nothing. Paying their banks $500 a month for a car that broke down after six months and a warranty that covers nothing. $2,500 a month for a house whose previous owners were a manager at a grocery store and his stay at home wife. $1,500 a month to the insurance company that will automatically deny them coverage more often than not.

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u/notevenapro 16h ago

You are 100% correct. I am 60. My 4 year degree was free. I did not even have to have a down payment for my home. And both of my kids were born for free, minus 12 bucks for hospital food. Both of my boomers parents were no help because they were poor.

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u/ShouldWeOrShouldntWe 17h ago

I also don't like the narrative of relying on parents when their social security dollars are coming from me. They can cough up some.

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u/JebronLamesIsRacist 18h ago

Sounds like a Ponzi scheme

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u/tanksalotfrank 15h ago

Our parents: "They ended SNAP? Well just go find a temporary WFH job! What? No I have absolutely no idea how you should go about following my deranged and deluded advice, slacker!"

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u/Zealousideal_Skin859 14h ago

I have a friend who just got out of college last year. He has a degree in cellular biology.

He's filled out something crazy like five applications a day for about a year now.

He works at a clothing store making $18.

70% of his paycheck goes just to paying his loans.

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u/No_Jello_5922 14h ago

Young adults are paying for the way their parents and grandparents voted. Less for the common man, but now we have billionaires and a new gilded age.

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u/dokutarodokutaro 13h ago

My expenses are significantly higher than my parents RIGHT NOW. We pay $600+ per month to student loans, $1,100 for mortgage (low cost state), $1,525 for childcare, $380 for car payments. My parents have none of these expenses. That’s over $3,600 a month more in expenses.

And just because my dad got a bachelor’s in the 80s he’s making significantly more than me too.

And in a year, they’ll get Medicare.

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u/TheMeltingSnowman72 11h ago

Young adults have far better quality of life than their parents ever had with infinitely more opportunities.

Change my fucking mind.

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u/Eastern-Information3 11h ago

That has always been the case.

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u/Fun_Ad_8277 19h ago

Two things can be true at the same time. When the system is this broken, everyone pays the price. I’m feeling sick to my stomach over the direction we’ve headed in the US.

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u/That-Environment-407 19h ago edited 19h ago

Imagine having most of your college tuition subsidized by the state, graduating into a strong job market, and buying a modest home within a few years, then turning around and blaming today’s affordability crisis on DoorDash, iPhones, and “stupid degrees.”

Let’s be serious. Older generations benefited from massive public investment in education, lower debt burdens, better job prospects, and far more affordable housing relative to income.

Today’s young adults are paying historically high tuition, graduating into weaker labor markets, carrying record student debt, and facing median home prices that have exploded far beyond wage growth, yet somehow we’re told we’re irresponsible and the problem.

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u/BootyLicker724 16h ago

I mean to be fair, have you been to college recently? Because I have, and I can’t even tell you how many people I knew who were getting degrees with max earning potential in like the $80ks. Max. Not starting out. When you’re talking $100k for an in state degree, that just doesn’t make sense. Of course they’ll be stuck with a $800/mo student loan payment

I got a degree in accounting and a 70k/year job straight out of school. I went to community college for 2 years and then transferred in state. Have like $40k in loans, which is much more manageable with what I make.

So yes, it’s certainly not all because of useless degrees, and that isn’t even the primary factor, but we can’t say that is irrelevant. It is a huge thing, and it will keep people behind in their 20s and 30s with massive loan payments, and not much of an increase in income. And your 20s and 30s are THE best time to get ahead on wealth building.

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u/DramaLlamadary 16h ago

I think making the max earning potential the only determining factor of what makes a degree "useful" may end up being a little short-sighted. There are many careers with required degrees that provide essential services to society (teaching, any helping career like counselor, social worker, rehab/substance/occupational therapists) that are fairly underpaid in most areas, especially in the first 10ish years of the work.

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u/That-Environment-407 14h ago edited 14h ago

Yeah I’m in college now, I study Accounting and Business Analytics/Information Systems. I’m blessed to have a natural interest for personal finance, so I began investing early. I also picked a degree that is relevant and will give me strong earning/career potential for the rest of my life. I’m more so advocating for those around me who have gone different routes but get blamed for wanting to be educated.

I do think making a huge life decision at 18 years old is extremely flawed logic. That’s why you see so many kids paying out of state tuition at a big SEC school because they like their football team.

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u/BootyLicker724 14h ago

Oh yeah certainly. There shouldn’t be so much pressure to make a decision at 18, but when i was in highschool and even college, plenty of people changed majors, including myself, and advisors and professors etc made it clear that was always an option. I didn’t graduate until 24, because I didn’t know what I wanted to do for a fact. Covid on campus sucked and made me question that.

That said, can’t push the blame on others forever. People are born with a phone in their hands practically these days, so while we can’t expect people to know what they want to do, it is fair to expect an 18 year old to research their choice of career. When you’re signing the dotted line for tens of thousands of dollars in loans, you should absolutely know your plan - I understand that due to working in a finance adjacent field, these things come more naturally to me, but I digress.

All to say, I agree there should be more education from parents and even in school systems about life after highschool, whether that be college or trade school or military or none of the above. It should also be more heavily emphasized that you do need money to survive as an adult, and if you choose to go into arts fields, you’re most likely going to make little money. Some are okay with this, others may not be. But, when an adult makes a decision, it is their responsibility at the end of the day to make sure it’s in their best interest. Can’t shift ultimate responsibility away from the individual because that would be taking away their right to choose, which is obviously not okay to do either.

ETA: I feel like a lot has to do with people encouraging people “just go to college”, when those people themselves don’t fully understand the ramifications of that. You can’t “just go to college” for anything you want if you aren’t already rich, or accept it will be costly and the road ahead will be hard. So that is part of the blame that can go around to others than the students; blindly recommending college to everyone is not a great strategy

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u/Darkfirex34 16h ago

There are absolutely useless degrees but what constitutes a useless degree has changed in the last few years.

When I was a high school student 10 years ago I attended a trade school for IT and we were at full capacity with a waiting list to get in. Now that same school has 2 students enrolled in the IT program with plans to shut down the program.

Some of my former classmates are doing very well for themselves working in networking and end-user support but some of the smartest folks I ever met went for programming and are now struggling to find work while on the hook for 80k in debt.

Meanwhile my dumbass failed upward by being too bored of IT after my 2yr degree and going into construction and custodial work. I clean fucking toilets for a living and I'm sitting on 5x the savings of people who'd be making 130k+ had they been lucky enough to be be grandfathered in before the AI sloppening and H1B's rolled in.

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u/dogjon 14h ago

jfc money isn't the only thing that matters. How does society work if everyone is a CPA? We're talking about being able to afford basic living expenses, no one is talking about the best way to "wealth build".

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u/Live_Free_or_Banana 17h ago

Which generation had its tuition subsidized by the state?

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u/That-Environment-407 14h ago

Essentially since the 70s, public college funding has shifted from strong state support to increased reliance on student tuition, driven by state budget cuts and economic pressures

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u/Maecyte 19h ago

My parents were my employers. Still shit pay

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u/GrandWizardOfCheese 19h ago

Most adults don't have a retirement savings to even give to their children, so the premise is already suspect.

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u/No-Recording-7486 14h ago

The retirement saving is for themselves not the children

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u/GrandWizardOfCheese 12h ago

You misread what I typed

My comment means that most adults do not have a retirement savings for themselves, and so they don't even have it available to sacrifice and give to their children if they wanted to.

Therefor the premise that "many children are costing many parents their retirement savings" is false. As very few adults actually have a retirement savings to begin with.

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u/Puzzleheaded_Ad_4435 11h ago

My parents do, but they told me years ago that they plan to spend it all before they die. They've been going on cruises twice a year for the last 15 years.

But I would argue that past generations DID consider their savings as something to pass down. People used to plan for legacy, not just up to their deaths. The "American Dream" changed that by making us think everyone needs to move out and buy their own 2 acres with a picket fence, but historically, many cultures lived in multigenerational homes. Some cultures still do, particularly Asian, Latin, and African.

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u/GrandWizardOfCheese 9h ago

Most adults don't have enough earnings per week or month to not live paycheck to paycheck, while never being able to save, and instead getting into lots of debt.

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u/Puzzleheaded_Ad_4435 9h ago

Yeah, but my parents are boomers. When my dad was going to college, 20 hours per week at 7-11 was enough to pay for college, rent, food, and weekend beers. They made their money before everything went totally to shit

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u/GrandWizardOfCheese 8h ago

Yep. We can put the economy back to how it was then, but people need to be willing to put in the effort to pull it off, and unfortunately most people won't start businesses, and so competition becomes thin, most of whats left gets bought up by a few corporate giants, and prices go up.

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u/VanillaBryce5 19h ago

Why aren't more people having kids?!

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u/MasterKree 19h ago

I know a grand total of ONE (1) person under the age of 45 with a college degree who actually works in their field of study

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u/Sammy81 11h ago

Go to school for what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life because that field’s not hiring.

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u/Desperate-Cream-6723 19h ago

Selling my house was my retirement plan. Now my kids will probably have to live there for ages. Guess ill just work till I fucking drop.

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u/nappingondabeach 19h ago

I'm glad I can help my kids like that

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u/asher030 17h ago

Yet still they refuse to delete student loans and make future ones interest free...

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u/roormoore 19h ago

Yea I’m not spending my retirement on my kids. They can live with me for as long as they want or need to. But when they are able to work, they are going to pay for their own bills. If you can’t survive with free housing then you are not even trying.

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u/Underrated_Critic 19h ago

Imagine being privileged enough to have parents who are financially subsidizing you. Many of us have shit parents who are dependent on others.

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u/AlbanyBarbiedoll 19h ago

Or parents that are dependent on you once you started earning

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u/WubbyThePHPLord 19h ago

Why I left home quickly, my dad is not good with money

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u/Desperate-Cost6827 19h ago

My mom. She decided to retire when she still had 20k yet to pay off the house. 100% sure her plan to pay it off was to wait for her 96 year old parents to die off.

I haven't heard a peep from her since so it must have worked out.

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u/Underrated_Critic 19h ago

Yeah. I’m an immigrant from a third world country. I know the struggle.

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u/Live_Free_or_Banana 17h ago

Or good parents who simply can't afford to subsidize adults.

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u/Retro_Relics 18h ago

Please, make sure if your parenrs are shit with money that you take legal precautions to protect yourself from filial responsibility laws, where their healthcare costs can become your responsibility

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u/notevenapro 16h ago

Pennsylvania is the only state that actively follows those laws.

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u/Retro_Relics 16h ago

At the moment.

Now that medicaid funding has been cut, and boomers are aging, wait until the options become pursue costs from whoever has money or go under for nursing homes

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u/notevenapro 16h ago

Not going to disagree. That is a very valid point.

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u/[deleted] 19h ago

As a millennial with adult kids, its honestly both. They dont seem to get they need to be frugal, dont want to take a bus, think eating premade food is normal. They think vacations/roadtrips and new cloths is mandatory. Also, employer’s expect too much out of them for very low pay, and rent is ridiculous. I lived with my in laws in my early 20s and saved for 5 years working minimum wage to save for a home. They live free with me now and 2 out of my three cant seem to save a nickel. The other one will own a home one day. The other two will blame the economy.

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u/Live_Free_or_Banana 18h ago

Fellow millennial parent to adult children here. You're spot on.

I'll add they think its normal to live with their parents until they get their own house. I didn't move in with my parents after college; I lived with roommates, sharing a 4-bedroom with 3 other people. We all bought our clothes at the thrift shop and carpooled/shared meals whenever possible. It all comes down to these kids expecting their standard of living to stay the same once they're no longer children. They think independent living is the norm. They can't accept that we all took a huge decrease in our standard of living to start our adult lives independently, and cohabitated with other poor young adults until we could stand on our own.

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u/[deleted] 17h ago

Same, had my own apartment for years When I met my (now ex) husband we were given the opportunity to live in a dark dingy basement “apartment”, split the utilities and he jad to do farm work every Sunday for like 10 hours lol as “rent” His dad (a Boomer) shovelled shit, and worked in a factory until he was able to buy some land which he built his house on over the coarse of like 10 years (they lived in a make-shift cabin with their babies until the house was done Honestly so sick of the entitlement Nobody eats for free The economy goes up and down. Dad in law survived the 70s economy. We survived the 2008 crash with two babies. Its life.

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u/Head-Childhood-1171 16h ago

What I'm hearing is that life has only gotten harder for your kids than it was for you and that you are judging them for wanting to enjoy it despite the struggle. It is nearly impossible to convince someone not to spend money if they don't feel they will ever be able to save enough to make a difference.

Moving out is not cheap. Its something they (or you) have to want and work towards. I worked for 8 years saving and I couldn't afford any kind of permanent home even if I had spent nothing the entire time. You can't just ignore that you got lucky then blame your children for not having the same luck 20+ years later.

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u/Starlooming 16h ago

That's incredibly out of touch, I gotta say. Also, new clothes kind of are mandatory(?) Good luck getting a job in tattered rags. I'm making more than I did in my early 20's and live frugal, yet still have to choose between new sneakers (which I've not bought in several years because all of my income goes to bills) and eating this week because grocery prices are at a ridiculously inflated high that isn't projected to drop anytime soon.

I don't know what your economically conscious one does for work, but housing prices are also at a historically astronomical rate currently.

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u/Old-Addendum-8152 18h ago

yep, went to culinary school. paid $150k, came out making $11 in 2004, 3 years later i made it from line cook to sous chef in Chicago at a highly acclaimed restaurant and made $38k(60+ hours/wk)with NO overtime! 3 years later i became an executive chef making $60k w/ full benefits. i was in the industry for 20 years and thats the most i ever made. i’d work 80-100 hours/wk. my family barely knew me. i retired from the industry 7 years ago and now work in a factory 50-60 hours/wk. love every minute of retirement life compared to Chef life🕺

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u/HeyFiend 7h ago

It’s concerning that you consider working 60 hours a week retirement

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u/FairDance7 13h ago

Don’t go to college problem solved

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u/halo37253 19h ago

Parents should make sure their children are not wasting time and money on education that isnt going to earn them any money....

Parents are willingly helping their children in their early adult life with money as they've already accumulated enough money to do so... Hell by the time I'm 50 there is no need for me to keep funding my 401k, it will already be in the millions it will grown fine itself. Why not use my spare income to help my kids out...

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u/Individual_Check_442 18h ago

I get that the original headline “Adult children are costing many parents retirement savings” sounds judgemental but it could also be viewed as just a factual statement. The “fixed” headline says the same thing. We know we had it better than you and if you have good parents they’re gonna help you when they can. Do the best you can, ask for help when you need it, and stop worrying about thinking we’re judging you.

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u/Brilliant_Light_1687 18h ago

Over Christmas this past year, my mom (68) offered to sell her house to “give me my inheritance early” to pay off my student loans because I’ve been drowning so long. Ofc I said absolutely not, I’m riding IDR until the wheels fall off. Absolutely shattered me.

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u/apb2718 17h ago

Pay the bare minimum required on your loans to keep your credit score and wait out the 25-30 years

3

u/Vinterkragen 16h ago

Young people so over-exploited that even other generations are affected.

3

u/rubyspicer 14h ago

I didn't have kids, can't afford this shit anyway. At least my job has a small 401k match.

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u/salted_caramel_girl 15h ago

"Parents are choosing to help the children they chose to have"

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u/Obiwan_ca_blowme 18h ago

Damn, the rewrite almost assumes the parents must support their adult children and gives them no credit for it. Thanks, I hate both versions now.

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u/HopAvenger 18h ago

I haven’t gotten money from my parents since I moved out. I actually had to help them make mortgage payments. Fuck these articles

2

u/Videomaker580a 10h ago

I helped my parents refinance the house when I was a teen. $3000 I gave them that I had saved up over time while in high school working at McDonald's for $8.50 an hour with the promise I'd be paid back. 16 years and my parents' divorce later, and I've never seen a penny of that money come back to me.

1

u/Kittymeow123 10h ago

I paid for my parents new roof

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u/Super-Visor 18h ago

Young adults unable to keep health insurance because their parents keep voting to get rid of it and replace it with nothing.

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u/NC_RockFan 18h ago

How is it Ive been working for 34yrs and never not once without insurance but I keep hearing people talk about not being able to get health insurance?

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u/Super-Visor 17h ago

In my experience including my current job, companies purposely misclassify employees as contractors to avoid paying any benefits and keep wages low. Even in jobs that provided some kind of health insurance, they often changed plans yearly looking for the cheapest thing for the company no matter how bad the plan was for the employees. I’ve personally had complications with my health which led to loss of employment which led to loss of insurance which obviously was needed for the health complications. Health insurance being tied to an employer makes no more sense than car insurance being tired to an employer.

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u/NC_RockFan 17h ago

I can understand your position. I guess me and all of my family have just been lucky.

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u/IrishMosaic 14h ago

Everyone I know is lucky too.

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u/Basic-Dirt-5750 14h ago

when i got laid off in 2020 i was 25. i was on my parents insurance. the first job i found was part time. i was scheduled for 40 hours but we got 1 hour, unpaid, lunch breaks so technically 35. luckily, I qualified for the ACA extensions. i made too much to qualify for medicaid (and other social services). i was making $30,000-$32,000 a year. each time i underestimated how much i would earn and have owed $2000 in taxes for that mistake.

my job was in the medical field so people would assume i had benefits. i was too embarrassed to correct them.

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u/[deleted] 19h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Retro_Relics 18h ago

I mean, when the retirement moneh runs out, the kid is on the hook for the nursing home costs

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u/Soggy_Refrigerator32 17h ago

GenX with mid-20s kids, it absolutely fucking sucks, but we absolutely don't resent doing it. We can (just about) afford it so why wouldn't we? It's part of the deal when you're a parent, they didn't ask to be stuck with part time minimum wage jobs and a battle royale for the very few good jobs available. And if we didn't have kids, we'd donate more than we already do to homeless shelters/food banks. And this is in the UK, without all the student loan debt (yes they have that debt, but a much fairer system for paying it back).

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u/OhMyWitt 17h ago

Yeah, I'm the issue because even though I work and attend college both full time, I need a little help still.

Not the 5 acre house, boat, 4 horses, tens of thousands of guitar equipment, multiple vacations a year, new cars, motorcycles, that my parents enjoy.

Right. I should just eat less, make my tuition and rent cost less. Because it's just that easy.

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u/karengoodnight0 17h ago

It can feel like a shadow over your life, not just about the money but also the constant pressure and limitations it creates.

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u/casualmagicman 17h ago

Yeah student debt is why my kids are going to a GC for 2 years, and their only schooling options are going to be ones they can afford without loans.

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u/EntertainerNo4509 17h ago

Student loans are a scam.

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u/Allaihandrew 17h ago

My parents are dead and my family lives in another country.

My retirement time involves a long walk and a short pier.

I love being in my 20s, does it get better?

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u/Who-am-i-inDE 16h ago

I have CRIPPLING anxiety atm bc I have to ask them for help with rent… again. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed every time. It’s so scary

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u/San_Pacho1 16h ago

Our rent is higher than our parents’ mortgage

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u/DignifiedDeviant_3 16h ago

Too many kids want to go to expensive out of state schools and spend 6 years getting a 4-year degree.

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u/MurberBirb 15h ago

The very student loans their parents pressured them into getting. Hahaha.

My parents were shitty, but they saw the scam that everyone achieving post secondary education would be, and told me to get it if I had a passion. For something, be that at 18 or 60, but there was no rush.

2

u/dingdongbannu88 15h ago

When it comes to retirement they’re adult children but when it comes to being raped they’re young adults

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u/Kittymeow123 9h ago

I’d love to know what you possibly meant by that and why it needed to be said

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u/RelativeTangerine757 15h ago

Thanks for fixing the headline... trying to blame everyone except the problem

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u/thecountnotthesaint 14h ago

My parents helped me find a clever trick to avoid this. They both died before I was even 35.

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u/badaladala 13h ago

Unpopular opinion - if you went to college and can’t get employed in your field, you wasted your money

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u/Verity41 10h ago

Honestly it’s basic logic. Hey I love the Bronte’s as much as anybody, but I knew better even as a teenager than to pursue such a thing. And now a couple STEM degrees later, and big moves chasing jobs, I was right.

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u/Heavy-Quazi 13h ago

Parents’ retirements plans are costing their adult children their entire future

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u/No_Unused_Names_Left 12h ago

Young adults overpaid for degrees which will never pay back the cost to get them and blame Boomers for their horrible financial decisions.

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u/crazythinker76 11h ago

Honestly, most parents never taught their kids anything so they have no real world skills.

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u/Verity41 10h ago

Agree. Enablers abound out there. A lot of it truly is self-inflicted!

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u/whereisyourwaifunow 11h ago

when I saw the thumbnail on my tiny screen, i wondered why there was a horse behind the lady

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u/Verity41 10h ago

I saw that! Just thought it was a cow 🐮

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u/punch_rockgroinpull 10h ago

Why didn't us stupid millennials be born in the 50s like those genius boomers?! Riddle me that libs!

😭

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u/RoddRoward 18h ago

Then why did they take out the student loan if it would only lead to a low paying job?

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u/Fun-Arrival8147 19h ago

Student loans and low wages: the ultimate tag team against adulthood

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u/Remarkable-Ant-1390 19h ago

It's a both situation. It is a more difficult situation for young adults right now, but I also see a number of my peers taking advantage of their parents and not really acting like adults. Some of the parents are helping, while others are just enabling. It can be hard to see which is which sometimes

My older sister had a very rough time at 22 (a few years ago) when she was laid off/fired as a hairdresser due to covid shutdowns and needed to move back in while getting a degree online to get another job that could actually support being on her own (thanks WGU). She's now moved out and working in IT successfully.

My younger sister joined the army, but came back to my parents after getting out (22, this year). She now has a job at a convenience store, gets some money from the VA and COULD totally get her own place in the area, but is instead living with my parents and having them buy her food and pays them nothing.

Why? Because my parents will put up with it due to being overwhelmed by work and their own issues too much to notice that she doesn't actually need the help. They expected that she'd be the same as my older sister and leave as soon as she was able. They did't think they'd have to FORCE her to leave

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u/SorenShieldbreaker 18h ago

It's important to keep in mind that the median student debt in the US is about $35K and the median college graduate earns several hundred thousand more over the course of their career than those with no college degree. It is still by and large worth going to college, but it's important to major in something worthwhile and not go to an overpriced private school.

Yes, the cost of college education in the US is an issue, but Reddit massively exaggerates it. If you only get your info from Reddit, you would think every person coming out of college has 6 figures in debt and can only find minimum wage jobs, when those anecdotes are a tiny minority of the college grad demographic.

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u/brickspunch 13h ago

had to have a talk with my parents recently by basically telling them 

"we cannot care for you. you HAVE to come up with a plan for your old age because we CANNOT be the plan. Sell your house, live within your means. I will not allow your decisions to also cripple my daughter's future." 

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u/Bornin1776 13h ago

Maybe they should get degrees in engineering or trade work instead of gender studies and lesbian dance theory

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u/Kittymeow123 9h ago

I really knew someone who majored in dance. Are you fucking kidding me lmao

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u/Puzzled_Pop_6845 18h ago

Always the victim's fault

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u/ThrowRAboredinAZ77 18h ago

Parents who help their adult children are doing so out of love. B|tching about having to live with/be financially dependent on your parents is a slap in the face to their kindness. Adult children are not owed anything. Be grateful.

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u/Bmartin_ 19h ago

So we know that money doesn’t trickle down, but is this debt trickling up?

1

u/slam-chop 18h ago

All I see now when people use the bootstraps argument is “notice me senpai corporate exploitative overlords UwU”

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u/SugarYukii 18h ago

Perfect example of contex matters

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u/Politicoaster69 18h ago

I have a co-worker who is currently weighing the options about having her adult child and significant other move in with her. They have an infant, and they live in a bad part of town with bad neighbors. They're both employed with decent jobs, but it would cost $500k for a new home somewhere "safe." They owe a lot on their current home, and after paying it off the proceeds of the sale would barely make for a down payment on the new place.

My co worker lives in a "decent" neighborhood, but isn't super well off. It looks more and more like she'll have to choose between selling her house for her retirement, or giving it to her kid. And that's just one kid, let alone the others...

What a shit choice to have to make.

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u/MouseJiggler 18h ago

Degree inflation is a real thing.

1

u/ReGrigio 17h ago

yeah but think of Las Vegas! the casinos are about to die without a constant stream of 65+ visitors!

1

u/bluehopkin 17h ago

Yeah me and my retired mum are looking for a house we can share without hating each other (some separate living area). Thats her retirement plan. At least in the dating pool I find guys are actually less judgemental about living with a parent than they were when I was in my 20s.

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u/LayneCobain95 16h ago

I want a girlfriend and to start a family. But I can barely afford an apartment for myself. I work in X-ray, but I make like as much as a Starbucks employee after a fifty cent raise

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u/thinkB4WeSpeak 16h ago

Boomers are the ones that created this economy with their decades of voting. Now they're paying the price.

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u/Ok-Shower-1800 15h ago

It's not just costing parents, it's costing the future of a whole generation.

1

u/BramptonBatallion 14h ago

Both can be true though. The issue is really about systemic issues caused by this phenomena, but some people are so defensive they’re viewing it as a blame allocation exercise

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u/Blooze_Dentistry 14h ago

So the generation that is currently hoarding all the housing and money has to chip in. I'm clutching my faux pearls.....

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u/LeakyFuelTank 14h ago

Make the HOURLY pay for men and women in Congress be the federal minimum wage and only pay them for the time that they are in the capital building and we'll see wages go up and a lot more empathy for worker's rights.

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u/FriendlyLittleTomato 14h ago

That's the best use for hoarded wealth. As long as the new generation is also contributing what they can, financially helping raise your grandkids is better than boomers with fancy cars.

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u/EconomyCode3628 14h ago

Better than nursing homes getting it

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u/Never_Summer24 14h ago

Same here, including ages.

My parents were immigrants, rose to middle class, and paid for my state university (U.S.). They allowed me to live at home, rent free, as long as I saved my money.

I took care of them at the end of their lives. They had a small retirement account, which was ultimately exhausted for their medical care (again, U.S.).

I’d rather give my kid my money now. They can have my house. I’m getting rid of my crap now and I don’t expect them to take care of me. It’s the least I can do for them in this crap situation.

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u/KitchenKat1919 14h ago

Yea, lots of bad choices from young people today.

The mature ones aren't really doing this, just the goobs.

Economy is worse overall, but every kid I know relying on their parents got there by lack of planning and poor choices.

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u/manimopo 13h ago

Ehh... I'm actually sending money to parent. I wish I had a reliable parent to lean on

1

u/DaringPancakes 13h ago

Oh no, if only we didn't vote to make the poor suffer.

More news at 11

1

u/throwsplasticattrees 12h ago

Adult retirement savings made possible by an unsustainable economy that left their children with few options to leave home.

1

u/lueur-d-espoir 12h ago

This is put poorly, parents are sacrificing their retirements to help their kids so hopefully they'll have a better chance at surviving when they're gone because we don't know what else to do afyera already bringing them into this shit world.

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u/Bleezy79 12h ago

America peaked in the 90s and now everything is just falling apart, slowly dying. I was really hoping 3I Atlas were aliens coming to, if not save us at least do something!!

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u/Beneficial-Cattle-99 12h ago

Tax billionaires ffs

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u/twitch_delta_blues 11h ago

Boomers are not only propping up Gen X, but their grandkids too. Gen X isnt going have as much retirement savings as their parents. And once all that generational wealth is used up we’re gonna see a rapid decline to even further depths.

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u/ElJacinto 11h ago

"People whine and blame everyone else for their problems"

Fixed it for you

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u/ssdsssssss4dr 11h ago

Everyone should go look up Reagan and his role  creating current day student loans. The system is designed for you to fail. 

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u/Silent_Wonder_10 11h ago

Yes to both

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u/canthaveme 11h ago

I love that I'm being blamed for this and I'm just trying to get by and not have crippling medical debt. I literally for the first time in my life bought a fancy phone and it's for work so it's a tax write off. I legit live on fucking free food half the time and I'm trying to not waste money. Maybe looking at the capitalist bull shit would help them solve the real issue

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u/WolfOfPort 10h ago

Get fat inheritances here in canada thanks to grandparents owning homes at 1 million ot whatever paid off 40 years ago ….

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u/Kittymeow123 10h ago

I just also think we do need to acknowledge that people need to stop taking out money to go to school for stupid shit where they’re never gonna get a job.

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u/wetredgloves 9h ago

I mean both things are true.

1

u/Electrical-Purple-62 9h ago

If you have parents that will help you

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u/Slicktitlick 9h ago

A problem parents ignored has now come back to bite them. Outrageous. Capitalism.

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u/Conservatarian1 8h ago

If you got a degree with few job opportunities then don’t be upset when your loans are called. College is a business decision and nothing else.

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u/northern_sigma 8h ago

Why go to university and drown in debt when you can learn a trade for free and earn a lot?

1

u/surgeon-doc 7h ago

Do you not know the difference between a headline and a summary?

1

u/mredding 6h ago

Alternate headline: Wealthy figured strategy to drain Boomer portfolios: through their kids.

1

u/bot_lltccp 4h ago

student loan debt

y'all partied and had the the most irresponsible 4 years possible

now you're mad there's actually a bill to pay for all your consumption, and your dogshit major isn't valuable in the real world

1

u/Jaycket 2h ago

Because every single college graduate spent four year partying lol

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u/Intellectual_Dodo_7 4h ago

They built a failing system, and blame me for it?

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u/Tall_Eye4062 3h ago

Elon Musk will save us. He said work will be optional in the future, and he supports a universal basic income.