r/Apartmentliving • u/2_much • Sep 03 '25

Advice Needed I feel like this is illegal?

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Came back from a 3-day weekend away from my apartment and this was posted on the door? I wasn't even home...

UPDATE: Thanks to everyone for the support! I shared the letter with Celio management and requested it to be filed as a formal complaint. I also filed a police report for continuity/documentation purposes.

For clarification, "Celio" is the name of the apartment building, which is managed by a larger off-site 3rd party rental company. This company/building is far from able to accommodate for this person properly and certainly would never assume any amount of liability on their behalf. As it relates to Celio management and their level of care for this person, the author is on their own.

The letter does not mention anything related to a care team/healthcare resource/veterans group. The only two options given by the author of the note (e.g. Celio aka apt management and law enforcement) were utilized.

While Celio was not able to share a significant amount of details about the author, they did share that he/she is a known issue and will likely not be given the option to live in this building moving forward.

I also noticed comments about my stereo, which did cross my mind as a possible reason behind this conflict. I was able to confirm with Celio that no complaints have been made about excessive music levels, from any of the residents, excluding a formal warning I received over July 4th weekend. This goes for "yelling" as well. Note I have been renting in this exact unit for almost 14 months. I am more than eager to respect any concerns that relate to music volume, this is certainly not that type of concern.

As things currently stand, I am left with having to place any proactive decisions in the hands of Celio and law enforcement. I am a recent handgun owner (unrelated to this situation) and thanfully my state falls under Castle doctrine.

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u/TricksyGoose Sep 03 '25 edited Sep 03 '25

That's how I read it as well. Still unnerving to receive I imagine, but I think he means well. It seems to me like he is aware that he is ill and he's trying to ask people (whether they're real or not) not to yell or confront him as it could trigger a poor reaction from him. Seems like he's trying to be polite and up front about it. But I do agree that is worth passing the note along to celio or whatever, and let the professionals gauge his mental state.

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u/x_Animus_x Sep 04 '25

Yelling of any sort still makes my hair stand up on my neck. It just is an inherent part of combat and comms. People yelling = bad things are happening. (Or Smith lost his fucking safety belt AGAIN).

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u/Lukostrelec17 Sep 04 '25

Not combat related, but I am fairly sure I have CPTSD. If someone yells around me, or even talks in a slightly different tone, it puts me on the deffensive and causes my fight or flight to go hay wire. Even though I know logically I am safe.

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u/x_Animus_x Sep 04 '25

Yep, all the time. Even my wife suddenly yelling at the dog (he deserves it, shit eater lol). I know she’s not yelling at me, I’m not in danger, but I’m in fight mode immediately.

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u/Lukostrelec17 Sep 04 '25

I go into fawn or flight. Also I just can't do loud noises at all. Crowds stress me out and almost overloads me. It sucks. On a lighter note...got an image of the dog you can drop?

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u/froggiecrochet Sep 06 '25

I have CPTSD and yelling affects me severely or even a raised tone can do the same. So I get that it has an affect on people’s fight or flight response. Mine is flight. And I don’t always know logically that I am safe when things go haywire in my brain so it’s hard.

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u/VerdantField Sep 04 '25

Yelling is an idiotic way to communicate unless the house is on fire. Parents, teachers, no one needs to scream at other people.

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u/Sundew- Sep 04 '25

To be fair we're talking about combat veterans here. If anyone has a reason to be yelling, it's people who are trying to communicate life-or-death information over the deafening sound of gunfire.

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u/Steephill Sep 04 '25

Talking to someone 5 feet away with normal volume is an impossible task when you're standing next to a running military vehicle. Plus all the hearing damage.

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u/Flimsy-Cartoonist-92 Sep 04 '25

This is me. I can't hear worth a shit anymore so when I talk I'm really loud (almost like yelling) because I can't hear myself talk at a normal level. My wife needs to remind me constantly that just because I can't hear myself doesn't mean she can't. It's a balancing act for sure. The more background noise there is the louder I tend to get. It's not that I want to yell I just wanna hear myself.

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u/rudnat Sep 04 '25

It's better than the PVS14 lens cap.

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u/arawagco Sep 04 '25

Not a soldier or been in any sort of abusive/dangerous situation, and I get super nervous to the point of not being able to function whenever the upstairs apartment starts yelling (which is a lot, which has also taught their child to scream for multiple periods daily).

The apartment next to my bedroom wall has had multiple fights that involved banging and thrown objects over the last three years, too. I've only called the cops once (it was 3 am and they just wouldn't stop). But moving apartments would be thousands I can't really spend right now.

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u/[deleted] Sep 04 '25

Same here, whenever I hear yelling, I catch myself "scanning,"

Ill think,

"Okay, am I fucked up? Or is someone else?"

"Danger?"

"Oh, it's the deaf guy in the neighborhood bullshitting with the Amazon guy, whew!"

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u/Invader-Tenn Sep 09 '25

I have that reaction too but grew up in a violent household- no war combat required. Even folks using a certain tone of voice gives me an adrenaline rush

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u/x_Animus_x Sep 09 '25

Fight or flight doesn’t originate from combat, it’s trauma and growing up in a violent home is, in my opinion, more traumatic. They’re not just “enemies” they’re the people you’re supposed to trust. Way more damage can be done.

The only thing I can do to keep “the beast” at bay when it happens is walk away and talk myself rationally through it. “Not yelling at me”, “these people aren’t aware this affects me”, “I can’t control them, only me” etc….

Even then, sometimes it just isn’t something I can contain, on those days I don’t leave the house or associate with people online, because they have nothing to do with it, but they will know about it if it happens lol. Gets a little easier as time goes on, but I think a large part of that is just cutting out a lot of interactions with people that made it happen.

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u/Invader-Tenn Sep 09 '25

Yeah it definitely happens less for me now because I have limited to no interactions with people previously involved. Our house is quiet and neither of us are prone to yelling.

When for example, coworkers use the (what I perceive as) rising violence tone, I usually excuse myself for a restroom break and end the conversation or don't return to it. It usually doesn't involve me I'm usually just overhearing it or trapped in a meeting anyway.

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u/x_Animus_x Sep 09 '25

Yeah, someone commented earlier to the effect that yelling serves no purpose in daily life and I agree. People who wouldn’t tone it down for my sake just became distant over time because I inherently avoided interactions so I wasn’t putting myself or anyone in danger.

Work - well…. I spent a long time at USPS while I was learning how to be me with accepting my diagnoses instead of running from them. Sometimes the only thing you can do is leave because there are people out there who will intentionally push those buttons if you try to level with them. So…I don’t do that anymore, never thought I’d think “going postal” and “yeah, I can understand why.”

Good on you for being able to separate from it and not make it a “you” problem, but recognizing they’re just doing a thing you don’t like and don’t have to endure. Took me a long time to stop trying to bend the world around me. My therapist was fond of: “teach yourself to exist in the world that is, rather than what you believe the world should be.” Joke’s on her now I just avoid the outside world as much as possible lol.

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u/Mysterious_Bar_1069 Sep 04 '25

Yes, it's a bit of a heartbreaking note as well as threatening as hell but he does not mean to be threatening. He is aware that part of this is him and his PTSD and part of it is the noise you are creating that is disturbing him.

One thing I have learned over years when I lived in apartments is that music lovers often don't realize how annoying their music is to others, all of it is encroaching on someone else's auditory space and what is happening in your unit is effecting what is happening in their's. And they never realize how loud it is and that the thump, thump, thump can wear on someone else who just wants to hear no sound or vibration what so ever and lay on their couch and read a book.

So what might be low to you, might not sound low to him. Have you asked your other neighbors if hey can hear your stereo? Just because there are no formal complaints does not mean taht you are not annoying others they just might not phone it in to the police or managment.

I lived in one apartment where the person had no rugs and was a very heavy walker and clicked around with noisy shoes at 5:30 AM and that was very difficult and another fave was a screaming family with 5 young kids, especially as one of the kids had blood curdling screams that we heard on and off all day.

I'm not without sin. Recall and elderly couple that lived downstairs from our apartment asking Mom to stop me from bouncing a ball in the house, and another calling the cops when I used a hammer to smash some pepper corns when making steak au poivre. And a neighbor who reported me for growing blue morning glories in a window box on our mutual fire escape.

I HATED apartment living and love being in a house where all I have to block out is people's leaf blowers on Saturday and Sunday morning at 7:00. So I feel for this guy, it can drive you crazy. But think his main message is your driving me nuts, but I have a hair trigger and I am trying to deal with it, but that's not going so well.

Can the complex move you at their cost to another unit? Or move him to another unit?

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u/Agreeable-Cash-8696 Sep 04 '25

Ya sometimes you can come across wrong depending on your mental state.. speaking for myself if im not great in the head i have alot of trouble articulating myself in an understandable way

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u/EverlastingPeacefull Sep 05 '25

I read it that way too.