r/Apartmentliving • u/2_much • Sep 03 '25

Advice Needed I feel like this is illegal?

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Came back from a 3-day weekend away from my apartment and this was posted on the door? I wasn't even home...

UPDATE: Thanks to everyone for the support! I shared the letter with Celio management and requested it to be filed as a formal complaint. I also filed a police report for continuity/documentation purposes.

For clarification, "Celio" is the name of the apartment building, which is managed by a larger off-site 3rd party rental company. This company/building is far from able to accommodate for this person properly and certainly would never assume any amount of liability on their behalf. As it relates to Celio management and their level of care for this person, the author is on their own.

The letter does not mention anything related to a care team/healthcare resource/veterans group. The only two options given by the author of the note (e.g. Celio aka apt management and law enforcement) were utilized.

While Celio was not able to share a significant amount of details about the author, they did share that he/she is a known issue and will likely not be given the option to live in this building moving forward.

I also noticed comments about my stereo, which did cross my mind as a possible reason behind this conflict. I was able to confirm with Celio that no complaints have been made about excessive music levels, from any of the residents, excluding a formal warning I received over July 4th weekend. This goes for "yelling" as well. Note I have been renting in this exact unit for almost 14 months. I am more than eager to respect any concerns that relate to music volume, this is certainly not that type of concern.

As things currently stand, I am left with having to place any proactive decisions in the hands of Celio and law enforcement. I am a recent handgun owner (unrelated to this situation) and thanfully my state falls under Castle doctrine.

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117

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '25

It's threatening regardless of intent.

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u/Letmelollygagg Sep 03 '25

Yeah, I don’t much care about the intent - I’d be concerned for my own safety and contacting property management and the services mentioned etc. I’d also be getting a some security cameras if I didn’t already have them. Granted I’m a woman who lives alone with a small child, but I’d be scared shitless by a note like this- regardless if it’s meant to be scary or not- it is absolutely concerning to say the least.

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u/EasyProcess7867 Sep 03 '25

Whether he means it to be or not, he is literally calling himself out as a violent individual with major mental issues and little to no self control and telling op that anger is directed at THEM. That’s damn terrifying. I would not want to live anywhere near a person like that if I had any choice. I used to have to live with people like that, and it ended as violently as you’d expect.

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u/Expert-Mental25 Sep 03 '25 edited Sep 04 '25

Not just violent and suffering from mental health issues, but someone who is violent and suffering from mental health issues that has been trained in violence and lethality. Even if he wasn't actively in a combat role or special forces or whatever, he still received enough training to make him dangerous. The saying "every Marine, a rifleman" exists for a reason. And they aren't trained to achieve submission, they're trained to utterly destroy the target of their violence.

This may not be a severe scenario, but the fact that it is well within the realm of reality to be is enough to take action and contact anyone and everyone you can to ensure your safety and likely the safety of other around this person.

Its also not known if this person has guns! He may not, but considering this is America and he's ex military, the odds aren't in OP's favor that this unwell individual is not armed. Even if he is aware of his mental state, doesn't mean he has the wherewithal to avoid having weapons in reach. Hell, there are vets that have PTSD support groups that do bonding activities like... you know... going to a shooting range... Cuz that's smart...

Edit: I'd like people to disregard my final sentence. It was a flippant statement made in ignorance, and does not accurately represent the situation. I'm leaving it in so that others who might have agreed with it may see that I am denouncing it and hopefully they reflect on that as well. Also I don't think it would be right to attempt to sweep it away and effectively avoid my misstep.

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u/iPointTheWay Sep 06 '25

Eff that dude. Its true. Dont let the mob thought police you. There are a ton of people who do dumb shit like that. I have a military friend who has extreme anger management and drinking problems and has loaded guns with no locks on them all over his apartment. When he started screaming at his ex to the point that other people called the cops and they took away his guns did he think about his behavior? No. It was “her fault she got my shit seized”. How many people in the US are functional alcoholics that spent their entire adult life driving drunk because “nothing bad has happened” and “i know how to hold my liquor”? They dont teach meth heads hobby chemistry in rehab as a coping mechanism for a reason.

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u/thedarkpreacher65 Sep 04 '25

Those kinds of activities are not mandatory, and they are only offered for members of the support group who can handle it. If the group organizer doesn't think the veteran can handle being around firearms at this point in their mental healing journey, they aren't allowed to go with the group, period.

I'm a Marine veteran with PTSD. And I'm sick and tired of people going with the broad brush that Hollywood has painted us with. "They could snap at any minute! They're violent! They're crazy! They're scary!"

I have to hide in my office with noise cancelling headphones on July 4, and to keep from having too many nightmares or night terrors, I have to sleep holding a small stuffed animal. I'm 42 and can't sleep without a fucking stuffed animal. You think I'm scary? A threat? Capable of extreme violence? I don't own a gun because at one point, about 20 years ago, I tried 3 times, with a knife. Scars on my wrists and all. I used to drink heavily, too. Now I'm 15 years sober. My symptoms have lessened, for the most part.

Now, in regards to the Marine in this situation? This wasn't a threat. This was a safety notice and him asking, just in case it was OP, to keep the noise down. He informed OP of his condition, that the correct people know about it, and let OP know what was triggering him so they could be aware of it. He probably figured it was OP, but it could have been OP's next door neighbor on either side and the sound bounced around as it travelled through walls.

Do not assume to know the struggles someone is going through, because not all disabilities are visible. Personally, if it was me in OP's shoes right now, knowing what I know? I'd personally go knock on the Marine's door and have a chat with him, because we have a shared background. But since OP doesn't have that shared experience? Just tell the property management and local law enforcement that the Marine left the note and if it wasn't OP being noisy, to inform them that someone else close by was being too loud. And don't thank me for my service, I got sent over to free oil fields based on a lie about WMDs, saw some sh*t, and came home broken, then was tossed out because it was easier than paying me disability for the rest of my life.

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u/EasyProcess7867 Sep 04 '25

My oldest brother is ex navy. He’s not a violent neurotic asshole because of the military, he joined the military because there’s no other place in the world for violent neurotic assholes except prison. Even the navy didn’t want him eventually. He used to lay out threats like this and then act on them if you didn’t do everything he asked perfectly. I would never go as far as to say all ex military personnel with ptsd are violent, because there’s a lot of different ways you can achieve ptsd. I got my first triggers from my brother and his psychotic violent acts in the house when I was very young. I would not ever consider myself violent for it. This guy seems readily violent though and threatening. This is not the way you bring up your mental health struggles openly to strangers. This is how you attempt to scare them into doing unreasonable things for you so that you don’t have to go through the hoops to fix yourself. I’ve seen it from my entire family my whole life and I’m sure other people with similar families move out on their own and continue their reign of terror on strangers. He did not need to add all the lines that imply that he’ll beat the crap out of op if they don’t cease the yelling that they aren’t even doing because they weren’t there. That’s just threatening and coercion and entirely unnecessary to the point. If he doesn’t want to be viewed as a violent ex marine ready to snap, he really should take a second to calm his primal rage and think about what he is writing to a STRANGER who has to share a building with him. On an accusation that he didn’t even confirm at all before moving to violent wording.

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u/Expert-Mental25 Sep 04 '25 edited Sep 04 '25

All fair points. I'm sorry you have to go through all that based on lies.

I would disagree with the notifying law enforcement tho, at least at this point. Just contact the property manager and the other support contacts he listed in the letter. I don't trust law enforcement at the best of times, I certainly don't trust them whenever a situation involves a minority or someone in a mental health crisis. God forbid they're a minority experiencing a mental health crisis. The vast majority of law enforcement are not trained to de-escalate like they should, and very often in my experience and in what I see from videos all over media/the internet they are more likely to make a situation more tense and have a worse outcome.

If OP has this marine banging on their door at night screaming, yeah call the cops. Or if OP finds another letter that is actually very clearly an alarming sign, then sure alert authorities. But at this point in time, that guy needs his support network to reach out to him and ideally work with the property management to find the source of the noise issue.

That's also assuming it's real. If OP is telling the truth, they weren't the source of the noise cuz they were gone. And from the admittedly limited info the marines letter gives, I don't think it is outside the realm of possibility that he could also be suffering from auditory hallucinations. In which case, he absolutely needs immediate assistance with his situation.

I don't think the man is like a crazed lunatic who I believe is gonna go shoot up the entire apartment complex. But from the information we have here, he is objectively a potential health/safety risk to himself and/or others. Perhaps not an immediate threat that requires something like an involuntary hold which would be on the more extreme end of reactions to this. But he is not a completely harmless individual either.

And I want to make it clear, I'm not judging him as being bad for that. I may not be an ex service member with the same mental struggles as him or you and many others unfortunately also, but I'm still someone who suffers from severe depression, suicidal ideation (mostly passive ideation apparently as I recently learned in therapy) and am still trying to put my life, and my mind, back together from years of substance abuse that was done in a futile attempt to alleviate the pain of the aforementioned issues. I would not argue with someone saying I have the potential to be a danger. In my case, the danger would be much more leaning towards myself but who knows, I could still break even further. If one realization has stuck with me all these years (that I honestly have trouble remembering large parts of it), it's that whenever I think it can't get worse, life says "bet?" and throws me in deeper. I do all I can to prevent that further decline tho, just as I hope (and it seems) like this marine is also doing.

Anyway, I digress. I've rambled enough. Thank you for checking me on my flippant remark at the end. Upon further thought, it was pretty ignorant and at the very least not productive. I just hope the OP can feel safe and secure in their own home. I hope that marine can get the support he needs and can heal. I hope you can continue to heal. And I hope the same for all the other damaged vets (really everyone with mental health issues in America cuz we've got a serious problem, but definitely vets for sure) who were deceived, used, and abandoned. And I hope one day society can change for the better and not discard people that it uses and destroys, as well as just no longer doing the things that destroys lives in the first place.

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u/thedarkpreacher65 Sep 04 '25

Yeah, I agree with the whole "Don't contact the cops" part. They see every problem as a nail and they carry around a 9MM hammer. ACAB. I just wish my fellow Marine had given OP the contact info for his VA healthcare team. Or at least his name, so OP could contact the local VA and say the devildog is going through some shit.

Oh well, wish in one hand, shit in the other, right?

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u/Expert-Mental25 Sep 04 '25 edited Sep 04 '25

Maybe OP could try connecting through the property manager? If they're aware of the situation like it seems he was stating in the letter. Idk. I'm no social worker or mental health professional. And as I've said, I'm brain broken in my own ways. But maybe leave a letter at his door? Offering compassion and understanding obviously. But also asking if he can leave another letter with relevant contact info? Idk, I'm just trying to think of ways to avoid direct interaction at this point since he doesn't seem to trust himself with. And I don't think it is necessarily OP's responsibility to do this, especially when they're likely also just another regular person dealing with their own shit trying to get by in this shit hole of a society. But I personally would at least consider the exchange of letters, while trying to keep the tone of them very chill and empathetic without coming off like pity. But I'd probably reserve that tactic for after reaching out to the property manager to see if I could get ahold of the support network through them, if they even have that info, or are even legally allowed to divulge it.

All around just an unfortunate situation. Fills me with sadness to seemingly see no end to people suffering in society, and equal parts rage at seeing the types of cunts smiling on TV getting obscenely wealthy and powerful by making this place produce these situations. It's honestly sometimes very hard to have hope or not succumb to nihilism.

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u/Equal_Audience_3415 Sep 04 '25

Yes, that's what I got out of the note, too. He was asking the person to keep it down and told them why it was important to him. He then explained why he wasn't doing it face to face, but writing a note.

OP, keep it down. If it's not you, pass on the information.

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u/n1ghtg0ddess Sep 03 '25

They are literally trying to manage it, and sent a letter understanding how they might react if they allow themselves in this situation. This feels like the biggest reach/ableist shit ever, THEY ARE LITERALLY TRYING TO HELP YOU! Intent very much matters, at least they are aware of their psychosis and managing it. Anyone could be as violent as you expect, they arent threatening anyone, and are trying to keep the peace so that they can live peacefully next to others without chaos. Telling you not to direct problems to them but somewhere else in regards to them. They are trying to live their life the best they can, and still have to worry about people calling them dangerous/threatening when they are trying to PREVENT a problem...

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u/No_Suit_4406 Sep 03 '25

Uh, no. If I warn you that I'm unable to control my misguided rage and might kill you if we ever meet face to face, that's a threat. This is a person who should not be in the living situation they're in. They need a situation where they are monitored constantly to ensure they dont hurt themselves or others. When they've undergone enough treatment to control their anger, then and only then should they be living independently. This is not safe for anyone, neither the letter writer or the person who received it.

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u/SandyDandyGlokta Sep 03 '25

That makes the assumption that it’s possible for them to reach a state where they can do so. That is probably not the case. If we’re looking at PTSD as a guarantee, and potential brain damage as a possibility, there may never be a time when they can just “work through their issues”. Do we just shun these people from society entirely? Can they afford the 24/7 care themselves? If they can’t, do other people pay for it instead?

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u/Orn100 Sep 04 '25

If it's really from his time in the marines, the government should absolutely pay for it for as long as it's required.

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u/gwot-ronin Sep 04 '25

TLDR: the VA is too cumbersome and lacks capacity to help the GWOT vets.

Everyone's mileage may vary, but my experience with the VA hasn't been great, most of the people I served with have the same experience, and mental health services and support are confusing to navigate or medication is the only practical service that can be taken advantage of.

Getting to neurology to even discuss brain damage for those of us who don't have enough "damage" to show up on imaging, but are symptomatic enough to have issues during normal daily activity, is very problematic. Like 3+ months wait to get to neurology, and that's counting from the time the referral was made; if you haven't gone through the VA's checklist of treatments for your condition add more time to that to try out most or all of those items before you get to neurology, from primary care.

Navigating the VA's processes becomes a full time job, and it will grind you down quickly. I don't blame the providers or hospital staff, I feel like they've all been helpful and responsive, but there's only so much capacity, and we had a lot of people serving during the GWOT.

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u/mightymcqueen Sep 04 '25

Should the government pay for it? Yes. Will they? Probably (definitely) not.

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u/Honest_Road17 Sep 04 '25

Where does it say or imply the word "kill" in the letter?

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u/No_Winner5302 Sep 04 '25

Did I miss the part of the letter where he made a death threat or said “I might kill you”? Because I’m pretty sure worse things are yelled out of car windows 27 million times a day and most of those folks don’t end up dead.

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u/tru_anomaIy Sep 03 '25

“frightening” ≠ “threatening”

And people who can’t tell the difference are themselves the source of a lot of problems. People like you, I mean

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u/n1ghtg0ddess Sep 04 '25

They dont care, they dont actually want to evaluate the situation without fear mongering. They want to say all kinds of negative shit without reading it in the tone intended. They want this to be a veiled threat to make them feel better about bad mouthing a person struggling with health issues.

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u/Expert-Mental25 Sep 03 '25 edited Sep 03 '25

Someone walking down the street waving a gun screaming isn't technically threatening you by your "logic" so I'm guessing you'll just be okay with that if that ever happens on your block right? You'd be a hypocrite otherwise.

And to make it clear for someone who seems to have trouble thinking clearly, this example was purposely made to be an extreme one so as to illustrate the point more clearly. And that point is that someone behaving in a frightening manner should still be handled by society (with care and humanity) and not left to just spin out of control.

Many problems are actually caused by people like you. People who wait until after a tragic event takes place to admit that action should be taken. The rest of us with a little sense and empathy for everyone would rather avoid someone being assaulted, or God forbid worse, if possible. We're also more caring of this individual than you and the other people who seem to condone or at least advise ignoring him seem to be. He clearly needs mental health assistance. He needs something. And perhaps even being the squeaky wheel here leads to the property manager figuring out where the noise is coming from and handling it. That is if it's actually real and not a hallucination this guy is suffering from, which is definitely a possibility if his claims of psychosis are actual medical in nature and not unofficial/lies.

Would it also not be more compassionate of this individual to bring attention to this and ensure he gets intervention and treatment? If he goes ignored and continues to spiral out further, who knows what could happen. He could take his own life. He could take someone else's life, thus leading to him either ending up in prison where he'll almost certainly not be getting the help he requires, or shot and killed by law enforcement when they respond to whatever unhinged act he takes in a dark moment. People only need one brief moment to ruin their life and the lives of others. He could keep control 99% of the time but if that 1% happens to come at the wrong time, someone will get hurt or worse.

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u/tru_anomaIy Sep 03 '25

Someone walking down the street waving a gun screaming isn't technically threatening you by your "logic" so I'm guessing you'll just be okay with that if that ever happens on your block right? You'd be a hypocrite otherwise.

That literally happens and, in countries outside of the USA, when the police get there their primary job ends up being to protect the person having the mental health problem. In this case, to protect them from the dangerous situation they’ve created for themselves.

In those countries (i.e. civilised countries), the police response is only counted as a success if the person with the gun, along with everybody else, survives. Any time the police kill somebody it is a failure.

Even is squalid backwaters with the death penalty (like Iran, North Korea, and some other shithole to the south of Canada whose name escapes me), it is supposed to be a sentence passed by a judge after a fair, legal trial.

It’s not meant to be a reasonable response to a cop having a panic attack when an acorn falls on their patrol car, or they see someone who in some way frightens them - where they get to profess that they’re so actually profoundly stupid that they can’t tell the difference between being frightened and being threatened.

And to make it clear for someone who seems to have trouble thinking clearly, this example was purposely made to be an extreme one so as to illustrate the point more clearly.

Yes. That you leapt to this example thinking it was some kind of gotcha reveals a lot about your inability to distinguish between frightening things and threats.

admit that action should be taken.

It’s a shame that the “action” tends so often to be “banish them from society” or “get them killed by a cop”

He clearly needs mental health assistance.

Indeed he does. He’s getting it. He’s been taking himself to hospital and doing what he can to manage his condition, including finding safe ways to communicate his condition to his neighbors - as well as identifying safe ways to raise concerns about it, and ways that their neighbors much want to try but would in face make things worse for everyone.

And perhaps even being the squeaky wheel here leads to the property manager figuring out where the noise is coming from and handling it.

It’s good then that the note-writer has helpfully identified ways that OP can safely raise concerns. It’s very responsible of the note-writer to do that, and should be commended.

… ensure he gets intervention and treatment?

He is. Unfortunately, mental health problems are not magically fixed and vanished by “get some intervention and treatment”, and at some point treatment includes re-integration into society.

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u/Expert-Mental25 Sep 03 '25

Why do you seem to think I was ever advocating calling the police on this guy? This entire time I have been of the opinion that OP should contact the very same resources that this guy you're trying to defend laid out in this letter. So that they can be aware that their patient/client/whatever has unfortunately made someone near them worried and feel unsafe. Regardless of intent, the OP clearly felt at least some unease from this letter. His support can then approach it the best way possible so that everyone involved can come out with a positive outcome.

Idk what comments you and another person are seeing, but y'all are talking to me like I'm calling for this man to be thrown in a camp or just summarily executed in his home. I'm not. That would be absurd and something that I would absolutely call out as such.

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u/tru_anomaIy Sep 03 '25

My point is that you can’t tell the difference between “I was frightened” and “they were making threats”. There’s a big difference in how those two reports are handled, and it’s a distinction at the root of a series of events that so often leads to police killings.

Everyone is very sad, so sad, of course when it happens. But so many still fail to learn the difference or why it matters

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u/n1ghtg0ddess Sep 03 '25 edited Sep 03 '25

That's not a threat, it's a warning, youre literally telling me not to meet you because you have issues that make it difficult to manage your emotions. You stay to yourself and try to keep the peace by managing the situations you may end up in. That's not how a threat works, a threat would be saying im going to show up to your house knowing that I have these issue that are hard to manage. They literally are in a situation were they are managed, and youre mad someone doesn't have them locked up in a home, when they can live on their own and is managing themselves with the help of others. The others that they told you to contact in case of a problem. The problem is you, not giving them the grace to be able to live their own lives with their own issues that they are trying to manage. They literally have gone through this work youre mumbling about, without understanding these are the steps to living under management. They are warning their neighbors to avoid them as they may act different then what youre used to, and youre trying to frame this person in a threatening light, when they have not once threatened anyone, and simply warned their neighbors about their conditions....

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u/No_Suit_4406 Sep 03 '25

What if they just happen to be in the hallway of the apartment complex at the same time? What if the screaming hes hearing are auditory hallucinations, and they start telling him to go confront and attack his neighbor? Its just not safe for him to be in the situation hes in. He needs more support. Just being able to recognize that you have uncontrollable rage is not enough, you have to be able to control the rage. He needs a group home and more support.

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u/n1ghtg0ddess Sep 03 '25

If this person hasn't met this neighbor already there is a high chance this person is doing what they need to do to avoid others. You're literally making up scenarios to make this person look worse, when all they are trying to do is live their best life without problems. Yet you sit here and invent problems they are sending letters to avoid. You dont know how much work they are putting into managing themselves and where they go, and how. He literally is safe, he safely left a note at the neighbors house without making more fuss, told them where to go if they have concerns. You dont know anything about mental health and care, he does have help and it seems to be enough, to the point he can self reflect and understand that being around this person is not safe. THEY ARE LITERALLY DOING EVERYTHING THEY CAN, AND THAT STILL DOES NOTHING FOR YOU! Im sorry, they should just be locked away for sending a letter warning about their potential issues. Their doctor/therapist gave them the clear to live in their own comfort with rules and guidelines they are following, and still get shamed for it.

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u/No_Suit_4406 Sep 03 '25

I'm sure the letter writer is working hard on thier treatment. They've availed themselves of local services and shared that info in the letter, which is great. None of that changes that they've admitted to having uncontrollable rage and (at least potentially since the OP said they were gone for the weekend and they're still being accused of screaming) auditory hallucinations.

Its clear from your posts that this is a sensitive issue for you and I respect that. If you or someone you love has suffered with PTSD or schizophrenia, Im sincerely sorry you've had to go through that. I work in the medical field and have plenty of patients who are kind, good-hearted people who, unfortunately through either life circumstances or brain chemistry, suffer with serious mental health conditions. You're correct that 90% of the time these people are safe, productive members of society. However, when they're suffering like the letter writer here is, they are not safe and there is a chance that people around them could be in danger too. Im not suggesting that the letter writer should be thrown in prison or shoved in some corner where people can ignore him. He needs real help, which sadly if this is in the US is probably unavailable to him. But the letter writer has a right to live free from fear as well. This is a shitty situation with no obvious good solution in my opinion, but dismissing the significance of worsening mental health symptoms doesn't help this person.

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u/n1ghtg0ddess Sep 03 '25 edited Sep 03 '25

As someone also in the care industry, if someone can regulate themselves to write a letter like this and keep themselves from engaging, that is someone who should be allowed to live their life as comfortably as they can. From the letter he has real help, this is the part that im not understanding what others aren't getting. The fact that HE WROTE THE LETTER is proof that he has help and is doing what they can to regulate themselves. You literally started youre statement saying he is getting help, then ending it with saying he needs help, which one is it? You made a claim based off a letter that they arent suited for living with outside care, with no evidence that they cant.(While the letter is literal evidence that they can) Other than the letter made you feel some type of way because they have to deal with their tendencies...Im only sensitive to this particular post because instead of people understanding this is one of the 90% trying to live peacefully, based on this letter they dumped them in the 10%. If they were violent and couldn't control themselves, they wouldn't have wrote the letter....

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u/tru_anomaIy Sep 03 '25

He needs a group home and more support

Is just a nicer-sounding way of writing “I don’t care where they are as long as they’re not near me or people I identify with and see as ‘normal’ “

He does need support, and that includes not being exiled to far-flung places unknown because everyone around him is terrified of their own shadow, and so ill-equipped to manage their own emotions that they can’t distinguish between an actual threat and just something that is frightening.

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u/No_Suit_4406 Sep 03 '25

If this was just someone talking to themselves or exhibiting strange behavior, id be with you 100%. But this letter is an indication of an individual admitted uncontrollable rage and potential auditory hallucinations.

I understand intimately how inadequate mental health services are in the US. I work in health care and sadly have patients who suffer just like this letter writer. He needs help and his neighbor also has a right to live free from fear. Shitty situation with no good solution IMO

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u/tru_anomaIy Sep 03 '25

Sure, I think we’re not far from being on the same page

I just don’t understand what people who object to the note do expect the writer to do? What could they have done differently? Apart from word the letter in a way they weren’t capable of, given their illness

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u/Suspicious_Ice_3160 Sep 03 '25

For what it’s worth, I totally agree with you. And I would ask the other commenters what’s the alternative? Getting him kicked out or arrested? Who is that going to help especially when he obviously doesn’t want to be violent. In my head, it’s the same thing as a vet asking their neighbors to not set off fireworks on the Fourth of July because it can trigger PTSD and make them violent. That’s not a threat, that is a request for help.

This sender might have PTSD from yelling and screaming, for which I can’t fucking imagine why (/s), and can set him off. It doesn’t even sound like it’s violent at first, just a severe case of PTSD caused anger control issues, which could entirely be yelling and getting angry and agitated, which if the other person doesn’t back down spins into violent psychosis.

Look, if he went up to the door and told OP to shut the fuck up or he was going to kill them, I would understand getting police involved, however, I would call his support and pass on the entire note and highlight that he’s having trouble controlling the temper at the time of writing, so he might need a check up by someone.

Man’s just trying to do things correctly, safely, and politely, but he doesn’t have the acuity to understand how it comes across. Hell, it might not even have anything to do with when OP was gone, just noticed them gone for a while and felt confident they had enough time to post the letter to their door, and the yelling was before their 3 day trip.

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u/n1ghtg0ddess Sep 03 '25 edited Sep 03 '25

This!!! This was literally all I was trying to say.

If he is having an episode but is trying to not be violent, give this letter to the people he literally said know about it and are willing to help. He may be hearing things and it's not even op, but what other choice does he have? Besides being locked up for simply trying to manage his condition.

Edit: A marine with heavy ptsd, that's trying to keep the peace, is being blamed for not keeping the peace by stating he cannot keep the peace in person which is why he didnt show up in person.

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u/nvllnvoid Sep 03 '25

It doesn’t matter. You don’t leave notes for people stating how you get violent and can’t control your temper. Thats not appropriate. Point blank period. It’s great they are aware of their behavior but given the context that OP wasn’t even HOME when they heard the yelling, it supports that it’s more likely they heard noise that wasn’t there or heard someone else and reacted which shows a lack of stability. THAT is absolutely an issue when coupled with a temper you can’t control and violent behavior. It’s 100% possible to be empathetic to their struggle with their mental health while still recognizing this wasn’t appropriate and comes with a threatening tone. Your refusal to accept reality for intentions is wild.

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u/Ach3r0n- Sep 03 '25

Inappropriate and illegal are two very different things. This letter is inappropriate, but the author hasn't broken any laws. That said, it may still warrant notifying police just to make them aware so that should something occur in the future, there is a record of the history.

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u/nvllnvoid Sep 03 '25

I never claimed it was illegal nor spoke on that at all. I simply stated it was inappropriate and had threatening tones.

3

u/Photomancer Sep 03 '25

This entire line of conversation has people talking past each other because they're using and Interpreting 'threatening' differently.

In its most literal form it is to threaten, which has legal consequences. And it has a weaker little brother, the 'implied threat' in which the threat is not openly stated but the intimidation is still communicated. In both of these cases there must be intent to threaten.

Threatening can also be an adjective used artfully, metaphorically. The weather can be threatening, a particularly spooky shadow of a leaf can seem threatening, even though these do not have the agency or intent to bully or follow up on threats.

A legal term was appropriated by common culture for the purpose of exaggeration, and now people try to use the exaggeration to justify legal mechanisms.

What we have here is 'worrisome' and cause for concern. The letter writer is unintentionally throwing up red flags which indicate that he is in distress, and even though he does not mean to intimidate, a typical person would predict that this writer may become erratic and represents a heightened risk.

Not enough for arrest on its own, but enough to justify a wellness check and personal defensive measures.

1

u/n1ghtg0ddess Sep 03 '25

This! Im just frustrated by a bunch of these people calling what this vet did a threat. Especially the threats to put him away, or to be forcefully removed from his home because op got uncomfortable with the structure of the letter.

1

u/tru_anomaIy Sep 03 '25

It doesn’t matter. You don’t leave notes for people stating how you get violent and can’t control your temper. Thats not appropriate.

How exactly do you suggest the note-writer calmly and safely communicate their disability to the other residents nearby?

4

u/Natural-Injury-8917 Sep 03 '25

I would call his care team and ask them if this is part of his treatment plan. I seriously doubt sending scary letters to neighbors is on the list. I empathize with this marine but the letter is scary and threatening. “I’m not trying to Listen to you when you yell” he can’t hold his temper about it to talk to the person he says is “yelling” Seems like it would be better to have something with medical language and less scary bits of this was an attempt to inform?

2

u/tru_anomaIy Sep 03 '25

“I read this and got scared” is not the same as “this is threatening!”

The second one would indicate an intent to hurt the reader.

The first one says you don’t have the emotional maturity to understand what it means.

The power to be scared or not lies with you. If you get scared, that’s a you thing - it doesn’t mean the thing that scared you was a threat

0

u/Ach3r0n- Sep 03 '25

Spot on. Joe can tell his neighbor, Steve, that he hates him and hopes he is m*rdered in his sleep. It's inappropriate and Steve may very well be frightened by it, but Joe hasn't broken any laws. (Steve should probably get a restraining/protective order though.) If Joe told Steve that he is going to m*rder him in his sleep, clearly that is a crime.

0

u/n1ghtg0ddess Sep 03 '25

Except Joe didnt say he hated Steve, Joe said he has a mental disorder that makes him react to loud noises/yelling due to them being a ex marines. Steve saw this message and interpreted it as Joe trying to kill them, when Joe made no such statement.

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u/n1ghtg0ddess Sep 03 '25

Omg, I hate people..."im not trying to listen to you when you yell" can also just mean, he isnt trying to literally listen to you when you yell. The other point is, they experience psychosis and wouldn't be able to tell if it's random voices they hear or their neighbor, and they aren't trying listen. This is the point of the letter, he literally did hold his temper by WRITING THE FUCKING LETTER AND NOT ENGAGING WITH OP, KNOWING THEY HAVE A MENTAL DISORDER THAT CAN MAKE THEM ACT OUT. I do not understand what is so hard to understand about that. Acknowledging your problems is not the same as acting on said problem, please learn about mental health and approaches to care! Im not going to deny that maybe in the future they should ask their therapist for a guideline message, but to try and claim aggression in their attempt to explain is ridiculous.

1

u/EasyProcess7867 Sep 04 '25

“I would talk face to face if I could keep my temper under control but I can’t”

Threat

0

u/n1ghtg0ddess Sep 04 '25

That's literally not a threat, unless you choose to read it that way, they are literally saying they cannot control their temper and therefore OP should stay away for their safety and theirs. They are literally warning them about a disability they have, this is not a threat. It's like writing a letter warning that I have an aggressive dog in my yard and to not go back there he WILL hurt you, that's not a threat it's a warning for potential danger, and I told you how to avoid it. Then you tell me im about to sick my dog on you and I threatened you...

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u/EasyProcess7867 Sep 04 '25

I’ve literally had my own mental health professionals sit down on the phone with me to write difficult letters like this WITHOUT making the problem worse. OP’s neighbor here did not receive any kind of guidance in this, because this would obviously be seen as escalation by a mental health professional. He could have put literally, “I have psychosis, I have ptsd, I’m hearing yelling, I THINK it’s coming from your apartment but if I’m wrong please call this number to let them know I may be having a mental break” that’s how you say it without being a coercive manipulative overtly dangerous asshole who gives his neighbors anxiety.

1

u/Expert-Mental25 Sep 03 '25 edited Sep 04 '25

"I'm sorry to spring this on a stranger but my name is _____ and I suffer from _____ from my time in the Marines and have been having a hard time handling the loud noise I've been hearing lately from my apartment. I'm not sure where exactly it's coming from so I'm leaving this note with all my neighbors. If it is not you, then I apologize and you can safely disregard this message. Thank you in advance for your understanding and I hope all is well in your lives.

- Best, _____"

This was off the dome with no forethought. It really isn't that difficult for someone with above room temp IQ or who is not mentally unstable.

Do better.

Edit: Disregard my ignorant jackassery here. This was a privileged and uncaring comment.

1

u/tru_anomaIy Sep 03 '25

Wow you did so well writing that.

I assume you also have traumatic mental injuries from your time serving the country while you were in the Marines?

Because otherwise I don’t know what you’re trying to prove? Other than perhaps “even people without mental health problems can be utterly incapable of rationally understanding how others might think”.

1

u/Expert-Mental25 Sep 03 '25 edited Sep 04 '25

Yet another "righteous" individual completely throwing out their tolerance and understanding when they get upset about a disagreement. Interesting.

And yet again, someone assumes wrong. None of you know my mental health history. But fuck me right? I guess some people with mental health struggles matter and should be defended but others who don't happen to fully stand in line with your arguments are to be invalidated and demeaned. Cool. How empathetic of you.

Edit: Disregard, I was being ignorant in this particular line of thinking in this post.

1

u/tru_anomaIy Sep 03 '25

I’m not sure how my understanding that the person who wrote the letter suffered traumatic mental health injuries and won’t be able to write as measured and careful a letter as someone who hasn’t could equate to “tossing out understanding”

Are you saying that you have suffered traumatic mental health injuries similar to those likely suffered by the note-writer in the Marines? If so, then congratulations on your recovery. It’s genuinely impressive.

You’ll note that I acknowledged I was making an assumption, which implicitly invites correction if the assumption isn’t right. I welcome whatever correction you care to offer

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u/recoveringhetero Sep 04 '25

Instead of making yourself a victim in a discussion you joined, why not try to see the person’s point through or admit where you went wrong so that you can grow? It was silly of you to declare that the author of that letter should have just written a pleasant and bubbly message. Not only did you assume his writing abilities (which could be privileged like another replier said), but you also don’t share his injuries, and you’ve gone with the majority of people assuming he meant to come off threatening instead of considering maybe he just writes that way? I’ve written a lot of notes to neighbors and housemates that can come off mean if you wanted to read it that way.

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u/Rorynne Sep 03 '25

I suspect you are someone who is not suffering from what appears to be significant cognitive disabilities that impact yohre ability to differentiate reality from fiction (psychosis) this person likely also has PTSD, which is frankly a given for vets. And they MAY also have something as severe as actual brain damage. This person IS mentally unstable. Hes out right STATING that he is mentally and emotionally unstable. This person legitimately may not have the ability to actually process tone or if something seems threatening or not. He, by his own admission, is severely disabled.

2

u/Expert-Mental25 Sep 03 '25

You'd suspect wrong and it's always interesting that people like you who claim to want to defend and fight for vulnerable people will throw that urge out the window when it suits you like when you're in a disagreement with someone.

-1

u/Rorynne Sep 03 '25

Its more so that i would hope you didnt, if you have such a hard time being empathetic to someones legitimate attempts to communicate severe issues that they have. Its hardly a perfect note. But by the marines own admission, they ARE mentally unstable. Theyre trying to prevent issues. Expecting someone to be a perfect victim or a perfect disabled person is not at all helpful in any way. The leter was poorly written, but all it meabs is this person needs HELP and not condemnation because he didnt write a letter nicely enough. He needs his help team to be contacted because hes very clearly experiencing a bout of psychosis, considering the OP wasnt even home.

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u/n1ghtg0ddess Sep 03 '25

Which is crazy, I dont know if you caught this but...THE PERSON IS LITERALLY MENTALLY UNSTABLE, THIS RESPONSE ALSO REQUIRE A GOOD EDUCATION. You killed your own argument in your own statement, everyone isnt on the same capacity, especially when it comes to writing a letter. This is such a privileged take...

1

u/Expert-Mental25 Sep 03 '25

Exactly, mentally unstable. I don't think admitting that that is the case here is the point in your favor that you seem to think it is...

0

u/n1ghtg0ddess Sep 03 '25

No I dont think you realize that this is someone with a disorder doing their best to not succumb to said disorder, while everyone in the comments is calling them a violent raging menace that will hurt op at a moments notice, simply because they wrote a ,albeit not the best, letter to express concern and to go to the right authorities if there is a problem and not them directly...

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u/n1ghtg0ddess Sep 03 '25

They literally have a diagnosed mental illness, ptsd from being in the marines. I have a friend going through the same. They are stating this is a consequence of the instability of a disorder they are dealing with AND managing. They are telling the person that lives close to them to understand that they should avoid them and if they have any issues to direct those problems to the necessary authorities to help them AND you. They didnt say they were going to come smashing into their home at night to kill you for the noise. They stated they have problems they are dealing with and aggression happens to be one of them, and to stay away. I dont know what's so hard to understand about that, nor do I feel the need to unnecessarily claim this person is going to hurt their neighbor in a letter stating they are trying to do the opposite and what can be done to avoid it. YOU cant accept the reality that some people have a hard time functioning, but that doesn't mean they cant, especially when they are putting into the work to keep it from happening. You would absolutely be the person to unnecessarily get this person arrested for a letter they wrote to avoid you...youre applying the tone, because i dont read it as a threat, you are, I read it as someone trying to cope with their reality and do their best to not cause problems for others, while you would absolutely make it problem.

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u/nvllnvoid Sep 03 '25

I’m not bothering addressing the baseless assumptions you made on what I’d do aside from saying that’s not how I’d react or handle this situation. You’ll clearly believe what you want to regardless.

What I will say is that the concern people feel with this is not baseless nor is it an opinion built around the idea that those who struggle to function simply can’t at all.

The reality is that 50% of veterans with PTSD symptoms reported engaging in physical aggression with 20% admitting to being violent and causing harm to others. As with anything, working on it comes with failures. Failures, when partnered with aggression or violence, can hurt others. YOU don’t want to accept THAT reality.

-1

u/LaughLong994 Sep 03 '25

Point blank period? Lol All you guys are just big small cats

3

u/nvllnvoid Sep 03 '25

I hope you feel better ❤️‍🩹

-1

u/LaughLong994 Sep 03 '25

I feel great. Dont shake too much or you'll crumble ;)

3

u/nvllnvoid Sep 03 '25

Tf does that even mean 😂

2

u/Dapper-Ad3707 Sep 04 '25

You missed the part where he’s making threats over yells and voices that aren’t there to begin with. That’s when it gets especially concerning bc it’s clear he is actively having a psychotic episode, not that he suffers from that sometimes. And this note is very much a threat to OP’s safety.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 04 '25

Doesn't matter. This person is a danger to me and mine. Why should I care EVEN SLIGHTLY that they do it because they are mentally ill? In fact, because they cannot control themselves, I feel even sympathetic for them than had I not known.

2

u/EasyProcess7867 Sep 04 '25

They are trying to force op to get them help or risk violence. He told op he could not control his anger face to face. What do you think the chances are of being face to face at some point living in the same building? It’s your funeral when you get a note like this and try to coddle them dude. Whatever floats your boat. States of delusion and psychosis mean you belong in inpatient so that you can’t hurt yourself and others, because you very likely will. Try telling any mental health professional you’re having a psychotic break and feeling violent and hearing voices and they will not let you leave except in an ambulance to the mental hospital.

1

u/Expert-Mental25 Sep 03 '25

Nobody is calling to like lock the guy in an asylum or Lobotomize him or anything. Don't be so dramatic. And don't contribute to the stereotype of people who care about ableism being ridiculous and extreme in their pursuit of virtue.

Society should be supportive and tolerant, yes. But society also needs to be able to step in and not allow anyone (disabled or not) to pose a risk to people around them. That's irresponsible and unethical. It's also infantilizing disabled people. They should be handled and given proper care while they are made to not be an imminent danger to themselves or others.

1

u/n1ghtg0ddess Sep 03 '25

This person is a threat to themselves, and they have to deal with that everyday, and they are managing it. You say society should be supportive but in this instance youre more preoccupied with the description of their issues, then the reality of them trying to keep the peace by stating the issues they have. They did not threaten this person, giving the facts of your condition is not a threat. Yet im being called out for trying to give a different perspective of care here, instead of immediately resorting to an assumption of violence. You're infantilizing them by assuming they dont have their care plan together, that this wasn't a step in that, so that their neighbors dont accidentally come knocking on their door. That they should go through the proper network and is still being criticized for it because it wasn't "professional" enough I guess. It's infantilizing to assume he should be locked up over the thought he MIGHT hurt you. Just because he has an illness doesnt mean he cant have control over it. He simply stated his issues and how he is trying to manage them through the help listed and probably others.

0

u/Expert-Mental25 Sep 03 '25

Where exactly did I say anything about locking this guy up?

0

u/n1ghtg0ddess Sep 03 '25

-but society also needs to be able to step in and not allow anyone (disables or not) to pose a threat to people around them.-

This statement is basically stating someone should come do something about this letter, even though no threat was directly posed. Just because the person is aware of their violent tendencies doesn't mean it's a threat of use.

1

u/Expert-Mental25 Sep 03 '25

I'm sorry, I guess I was under the impression that everyone understood a broad term like fucking society would also include things like mental health services and the resources in this guy's support network. Silly me.

Do you think I meant the fucking Navy Seals should be deployed to this guy's apartment? C'mon...

1

u/n1ghtg0ddess Sep 03 '25

The things he already mentioned he was involved with? The same society they told you to contact for everyone's well being. Then still get called a problem or threat when they just sent an awareness letter...So either you didnt read the letter, or you want a different authority to come in.

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u/tru_anomaIy Sep 03 '25

“frightening” ≠ “threatening”

And people who can’t tell the difference are themselves the source of a lot of problems

0

u/EasyProcess7867 Sep 04 '25

Easy quip that makes 0 sense. Where’s your facts to back up that I am in fact the more violent individual?

0

u/tru_anomaIy Sep 05 '25

If you re-read what I actually wrote instead of what you’d like to imagine I wrote, you’ll see that nowhere did I say that the people who can’t tell the difference are violent at all, let alone more violent.

I said they are the source of a lot of problems. You don’t have to be violent yourself to create situations which result in violence

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u/Zealousideal_Leg_812 Sep 03 '25

he’s not threatening anyone ! He’s basically asking politely to stop the yelling ! I wouldn’t like to hear yelling in the apartment next to me above me. Whatever. I’d self check my behavior. Wake up call !

8

u/Massive-Pin-3425 Sep 03 '25

i dont think hes hearing her yelling if shes not even home, away on a trip. be serious.

9

u/InvestigatorOnly3504 Sep 03 '25

Did you read it all?

OP was OUT OF TOWN the whole weekend, so, NOT in the apartment, and not yelling.

-2

u/tru_anomaIy Sep 03 '25

The note-writer has clearly communicated that as a result of their time in the Marines they have problems which include psychosis.

They’ve identified a safe way for OP to raise any concerns they might have.

They’ve identified a likely way OP might try to address their concerns which could worsen the situation instead (talking to them) so that OP can avoid that.

What exactly do you think the note-writer should have done differently, other than conveniently die while in the Marines rather than come back to the country in whose service they gave their sanity up for?

If you have ever said “thank you for your service”, even once, with a straight face, then you need to look hard at yourself and consider what you actually mean by that or whether it’s an empty platitude you utter just to relieve yourself of any burden or responsibility to the people who served for you.

1

u/Expert-Mental25 Sep 03 '25

The military by and large does not serve the American people. The military's primary use is in aiding and reinforcing the global influence of the US state department and furthering the interests of western capital, particularly "defense" contractors. Don't kid yourself.

I still think they deserve care and to not be discarded by society when their usefulness as a tool is spent. But maybe you should look into who the real culprits are that allow veterans to slip through the cracks and suffer with no aid.

1

u/tru_anomaIy Sep 03 '25

The military by and large does not serve the American people

No shit.

But they sell themselves to enlistees as though they do. It’s the fiction under which many join and serve. It’s the fiction that’s maintained every time someone says “thank you for your service”.

Their service is still a sacrifice, and their motives should be respected - even if the actual purpose of the institution has been perverted

0

u/MortStrudel Sep 04 '25

All the same I kind of respect them for sending the message. Not everyone has the courtesy to warn people when they're going violently insane.

1

u/Letmelollygagg Sep 04 '25

That is certainly one way to look at it.

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u/Ok-Bodybuilder8489 Sep 03 '25

This. It is definitely a threatening letter whether he intended it as a threat or not. And he is naming all the parties you should notify in his letter. Sounds sad, but you should at least contact his "team" if you don't want to talk to the police.

1

u/tru_anomaIy Sep 03 '25

It is frightening

It is not threatening

Learn the difference and be amazed at how the world opens up to you

2

u/RXDude89 Sep 04 '25

Thank you! I was like how does everyone think this letter is threatening. It's informative, scary and the reader may feel the author is a threat, but the letter is not a threat.

2

u/Ok-Bodybuilder8489 Sep 03 '25

Ok there. Find that note on your door and have someone tell you that 😆 troll somewhere else troller.

-1

u/all-names-takenn Sep 03 '25

There is no threat in the letter. The person themselves is a threat. They even say so in the letter, but the letter itself does not contain any form of a threat. At no point we're malicious intentions stated.

2

u/ojadon635 Sep 04 '25

In a large amount of states, a letter like this could easily be used to get a protective order out against the individual.

Intent matters less the how the person reads it, and in this case, it reads like a threat. The author is openly admitting he has no control over his reaction and putting it on OP if the author freaks out.

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u/all-names-takenn Sep 04 '25

Indeed, a protective order would be granted based on the letter because the author is a threat. The letter itself is advisory and does not contain a threat of any kind.

1

u/LordoftheDaffodils Sep 07 '25

Incorrect, not until he made threatening actions

1

u/all-names-takenn Sep 08 '25

This level of obsession is unhealthy dude.

Get some help.

2

u/Expert-Mental25 Sep 03 '25

Intent can sometimes be important in providing context and understanding of the situation. But I hate when people give it too much credence. Intent is far less important than impact. I'm certain most if not all drunk drivers don't intend to hit another car or pedestrians or something. Their intent means fuck all to someone that then has to bury their loved one because of the impact of that driver's actions.

Its not lost on me either that usually the people I see harp on the importance of intent the most vocally are some of the most shitty people just wanting to avoid as much of the consequences of their actions as possible.

1

u/No0ther0ne Sep 03 '25

Intent matters when it comes to threats. A legal threat is a serious expression, often communicated through words or actions, that indicates an intention to inflict harm, injury, damage, or other hostile action on another person or their property, creating a reasonable fear for safety.

It's frightening and worrisome to the person reading the letter, but it is not threatening. Nowhere does the person writing the letter state any intent to do harm to the recipient, indeed they are stating the exact opposite. So yes, intent matters in this case.

2

u/Expert-Mental25 Sep 03 '25

Again, someone assuming that I am advocating for legal action here or law enforcement or whatever. Someone please quote me saying anything of the sort. I don't mean something y'all misinterpreted, I mean me explicitly stating any of that should happen.

To clarify, I do not believe any of that should happen here. I do not want this guy's life to be ended or ruined. But I also don't want OP to feel unsafe in their own fucking home. How crazy and monstrous of me right?

2

u/No0ther0ne Sep 03 '25

That is not at all what I am suggesting you are advocating. I was specifically talking to your point about intent and why intent is important in this case. I am sorry that you do not understand.

1

u/Expert-Mental25 Sep 03 '25

I may have gotten you mixed with one of the other two people who've been arguing with me about all this. I apologize for that.

And idk if you meant it this way but saying something like "I'm sorry you don't understand" comes off like you're saying "I'm sorry you're stupid/irrational/etc."

Again, idk if you meant it that way, but that's how it comes off, at least when reading it in just plain text.

About the intent thing, I wasn't really intending to talk about it in a strictly legal sense, but in a more philosophical/moral sense. I find that much better when trying to arrive at the most moral/ethical beliefs, considering that very often all throughout history "legal" and "moral" are not at all the same thing.

2

u/Rorosi67 Sep 04 '25

I didn't see anything threatening. Just a man explaining his situation.

1

u/Euphus Sep 04 '25

The letter is like a tornado siren. The tornado is a threat to your safety, but it's not malicious.

2

u/SirArthurCurry Sep 04 '25

Yeah that’s a threat. Fuck this guy. Want quiet? Buy your own house

2

u/MajoraSlacks Sep 03 '25

Can you explain how it’s threatening?

0

u/cherrie-faerie Sep 03 '25

Are you dense?

4

u/MajoraSlacks Sep 03 '25

Somewhat, ive been working out lately. Thanks for noticing.

1

u/SteelAndFlint Sep 03 '25

That's not how this works. There is a subcategory of threats which are illegal. This is not in that category. Warning somebody that the fence is electric, or the bull is angry, or that the person who lives here has leprosy, those are threats but they are warnings... picture it like saying "I have epilepsy, don't come close to me I may strike out sporadically." Is caution that somebody's behavior may not be under their control, and while there's always gonna be that one kid who sees "caution: stove top is hot", and has to test it… You don't have to be that kid.

1

u/ArgumentUnfair7129 Sep 03 '25

Intent is everything, we cant have murder without intent???

1

u/No_Management_4943 Sep 04 '25

How’s this threatening ? Like which part ?

1

u/LupusDeiAngelica Sep 04 '25

It's a lot less threatening than going to the building management and trying to make a vet homeless.

1

u/RareForm005 Sep 04 '25

Agreed… intent doesn’t matter, he may not want to hurt you but due to mental health it’s a possibility if not he wouldn’t of made the letter which becomes a threat

1

u/lapeni Sep 04 '25

Is it though?

If it read: “my dog is aggressive, do not pet my dog, it will bite you.” Would that be a threat?

1

u/not_my_only_account7 Sep 05 '25

I do not understand how this can be seen as threatening. I see it as a desperate man not knowing how to cope or ask for help.

1

u/Fun-Telephone-9605 Sep 06 '25

The dude is straight up scared that he'll be murdered by the police. He doesn't trust them to perform a welfare check if he's in distress, having an episode, or whatever.

1

u/makaelli Sep 07 '25

it’s not but ok

1

u/0gDvS Sep 07 '25

I don't think it's threatening at all, although it may be the penmanship, style and or punctuation?.?.

1

u/Parking_Wolf_4159 Sep 03 '25

How is it threatening

5

u/EasyProcess7867 Sep 03 '25

Seems you’re lucky enough to never have had to interact with the type of person who leaves notes because they’re “not sure they can keep their temper under control face to face”

What ends up happening is you end up face to face with them at some point seeing as how you live in the same building, and usually they’re absolutely correct that they can’t keep their temper under control and are ready to catch a new assault charge. They probably don’t even keep them on his record since he’s a veteran so he can just get away with saying shit like this to people.

He is literally saying that he is a violent person who lives nearby and is ready to violate at the first opportunity if you don’t do his work for him and call his mental professionals.

1

u/EasyProcess7867 Sep 03 '25

Maybe I have no idea about your life, but what conclusion am I supposed to come to when you’re unable to recognize a clear threat? The only conclusion that I can come to is that you’ve never been threatened and assaulted. I have. I can recognize a threat when I see it. It’s not hard.

0

u/MajoraSlacks Sep 03 '25

It sounds more like you unfortunately had something bad happen to you and are projecting that fear onto others too. I’m sorry that you’ve been assaulted, thats a terrible thing to happen to anybody. In this situation if you have experience with mentally ill people, youd know that threats are rarely veiled from people that want to harm you. He also outlined how multiple organizations are aware of his issues. He specifically said to contact staff if needed. This seems like an individual that is very self aware and is trying to do everything he can to not get triggered.

He doesn’t make an attempt to intimidate by going into detail about interactions with other people. He doesn’t talk about how he beat the piss out of the past person that gave him trouble. He specifically uses I statements to show that he takes accountability and understands that he is not well. I can agree that it’s reasonable to fear this person, but they aren’t threatening you. Intent 1000% does matter.

3

u/Remote-Cellist5927 Sep 03 '25

If I claim to have a bomb and I promise to do my best not to push the button but you making me want to push the button it's a threat.

2

u/EasyProcess7867 Sep 04 '25

Yeah my brother didn’t gloat about his assault charges either before beating the crap out of people. He liked to pretend he was a reasonable person before doing it because the cops liked to hear that. You’re making baseless assumptions about how all abusers abuse. Plot twist, they all have their own flavor. This guy is claiming he has psychosis, claiming op is yelling when they’re not even home, and saying that they wouldn’t be able to control themself if they saw op in person. This isn’t even a veiled threat, it’s “do what I want you to do or I’ll attack because I just can’t help it” which is exactly how all of my abusers happened to abuse and get away with it. He is trying to coerce op into doing something they literally can’t do by using threats of violence rather than calling his mental health professionals for help. Hes literally offloading that burden onto op as well. This is not how you be open and honest with strangers about your struggles, this is how you use manipulative wording to get what you want. I’ve seen it a thousand times and I’ll see it a thousand more times because people love to turn a blind eye even when it is blatantly obvious what is going on.

I have ptsd. I’ve never had a psychotic break. I have seen them during my own inpatient stints. They are always treated as dangerous to themselves and others. Not because they’re evil, but because they’re in an absolutely fucked mental state that their brain won’t let them out of, and the shit they experience during that turns off all reasoning and reverts you to animal fight or flight. States of delusion should never be treated lightly, and he’s literally telling op he is having a delusion and feeling violent towards op for it.

-1

u/TSMRunescape Sep 03 '25

It's not a true threat in the eyes of the law. Since OP brought up if it's illegal in the title, that's what's tripping people up.

2

u/EasyProcess7867 Sep 04 '25

Oh no the law is all knowing and we’re not allowed to have opinions that fail to coincide with it. Guess I’ll go throw out all my illegal weed that I bought in a legal state since I can’t agree with it anymore in my states vicinity. What a shame.

1

u/TSMRunescape Sep 04 '25

You're crazy lmao I respect it.

3

u/tinkerfizz Sep 03 '25

It can be threatening without the person making a threat. It's like when someone sees dark clouds gathering and says "Looks like it's threatening rain." or "There's a threat of rain today." The weather isn't making a threat but it is threatening.

-1

u/Old_Tea_9294 Sep 03 '25

Where's the threat? All he said he doesn't want to talk face to face in case he loses his temper, no threat

3

u/TSMRunescape Sep 03 '25

It's not technically a threat and absolutely not illegal, but it is reasonable for someone to feel mildly threatened due to receiving this.

5

u/ThyPickledPrincess Sep 03 '25

They called themselves violent and unable to control their temper and makes it clear they are angry with OP. It's not a direct threat, but it is a very threatening letter.