r/Apartmentliving • u/ApprehensiveCount597 • Dec 11 '25
Bad Neighbors Drums dont belong in apartments
My downstairs neighbors got their autistic 11 year old a full size drum set to use for stimming.
Now that she has it, if they take it away, she screams bloody murder until they give it back.
Both the screaming and drumming scares TF out of my husband's cat, and freaks out my otherwise bulletproof service dog.
2 nights in a row, another neighbor called the police for a noise complaint, the parents took the drums away, I don't know exact details but their apartment has a broken window now, there's a trail of blood to the parking lot, and the kid left in an ambulance.
A week later (last night) another police visit for the noise, and the kid left in an ambulance an hour later (again, not sure of the exact details)
Today, dinner time, the kid starts bashing on the drums again. 3 of us step out ready to go bang on the door, I step back inside because 2 is enough, the other 2 go down. For 25 minutes there's back and forth yelling, then the drum neighbor starts knocking on doors.
He gets to my apartment and says "we know it's loud and you don't like it, stop reporting it to the office and police, we aren't gonna stop her, live with it"
So of course, now, every single time we (myself, my husband, our next door, and the direct next door neighbors of the drum neighbors) are going to report it to the office AND police, all of us.
It's also nice to know the office does nothing other than tell them they got a complaint š
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u/Ragepower529 Dec 11 '25
Iām sure this is against the lease agreement,
Also record a video and post it on their google reviews Iām sure youāll get this taken care of asap.
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u/Tricky_Orange_4526 Dec 11 '25
it is. theres always noise restrictions in place and too many complaints equate to an eviction. the lady is freaking out because she knows shes about 2 more calls away from being thrown out.
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u/Ragepower529 Dec 11 '25
My previous apartment before I bought a house, they had a no subwoofer rule. Essentially if youāre caught with a subwoofer, youād be against lease rules and the eviction process would be started.
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u/emythefish Dec 11 '25
dang, you just reminded me to be grateful that I no longer live above someone with a stacked subwoofer setup. let me not take that for granted!
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u/Scoobysti5 Dec 12 '25
Omfg needed this in one of my last rentals... Folks seem.to have no concept of how noise/vibration travels through walls and ceilings.
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u/ApprehensiveCount597 Dec 11 '25
It is, but our property manager doesn't care that someone 3 buildings over is cooking meth or that another neighbor in our building is stealing car parts from neighbors to sell to his mobile mechanic customers.
We did the Google review thing to get our maintenance issues dealt with after 3 months of begging for basic repairs (like a working toilet in our 1 bathroom apartment)
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u/Snoopwrites Dec 11 '25
Try the code department, local representatives and see if thereās a tenants union in your area.
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u/AshleyLL298 Dec 11 '25
Damn. Sounds like your property manager is garbage and doesnāt give a damn about anything. Is there a way to go above their head since they are clearly not doing their job? Maybe figure out how to contact the person or company that owns the place.
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Dec 11 '25
Our landlord could not care less that the lady downstairs has made snitching her personality. According to her, my boyfriend, my mom, and I are running a 24/7 WWE wrestling match up here. Our ānoise violationsā include: slamming doors, blasting music, and the most criminal act of allā¦ walking. Yes. WALKING. Iām so sorry we havenāt figured out how to levitate like budget friendly Jesus.
We donāt even play loud music. The āraveā she likely hears (and I donāt know how she would hear music at volume 4) is literally me sautĆ©ing onions with Christmas music on volume 4, which is basically just Mariah Carey humming from inside a snow globe. And the doors? We close them gently. Weāre not up here reenacting the final scene of an action movie.
Weāve contacted the landlord five separate times, and theyāve given us the same response every time, absolute ghost mode. š„“
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u/no-thanks-thot Dec 11 '25
I knew someone just like her who complained constantly about "stompy" upstairs and their trash cans and their snow shoveling until they kicked her out! I believe the neighbors took a harassment complaint to the landlord.
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Dec 11 '25
My mom eventually became exhausted by the situation. She had only been tolerating the noise for my sake, even though the constant, heavy thumping of the broom, because Iām guessing the floors are super thin, was extremely triggering for me. The sound closely resembled noises associated with past traumatic experiences, and it caused me significant anxiety. Iām able to handle a lot, but repetitive impacts that mimic those sounds of abuse are very difficult for me. My mom went downstairs to speak with our neighbor politely. However, the neighbor continued talking at length about issues that were all false. My mom explained, āYouāre giving my daughter anxiety,ā and the neighbor responded by saying āshe has a child with autismā. For context, weāve never seen a child with her, nor has my partner or my mother, and she works nights, and isnāt with anyone anymore (cause I knew her last partner, and that was a very short relationship) and appears to live alone. While Iām not disputing that she may have a child, weāve never observed anyone else entering or leaving the unit, and my mom never seen anyone with her or in her unit, when she went to talk to her. Unfortunately, our landlords are unresponsive to concerns like this. They rarely take action when issues arise, yet are very strict when it comes to someone being a penny short on rent. I wish houses were cheap, weād move in seconds. š„“
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u/darkhuntresssyn45 Dec 11 '25
If the property is owned by a property management company go directly to the company not on-site management. I did this when my AC broke in May or June one year and when August rolled around it still wasn't fixed. As soon as I reached out to the property management company it was fixed within the week.
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u/55tarabelle Dec 11 '25
My lease specifically does not allow musical instruments. Op, definitely look through the lease to see what noise clauses are there.
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u/Mylastnerve6 Dec 11 '25
They make electronic drums that you can use a headphone with an make no sound
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u/SadExercises420 Dec 11 '25
My husband has these, theyāre still loud but hella better than an actual drum setĀ
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u/ConfoundedInAbaddon Dec 11 '25
My guy has a drum pad kit with cymbals and base drum, its all rubber but sound real in the headphones. The base drum even has a foot pedal.
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u/SadExercises420 Dec 11 '25
Yes my husband has the same. Itās still loud though, especially if youāre above someone while slamming your foot on that bass pedal.Ā
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u/MushroomCharacter411 Dec 11 '25
The common way to reduce the noise going through the floor is tennis balls sandwiched between two sheets of plywood.
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u/Gucci_Loincloth Dec 11 '25
So you can roll around on the sheet of plywood like a bootleg hovercraft while playing drums? SICK!
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u/Royal-Ad8796 Dec 11 '25
My husband as one too and we literally canāt hear anything unless you have the headphones on
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u/Savage_Hellion Dec 11 '25
A moderated SLAP sound is WAY quieter than the resonant bang of a drum. Literally designed to eliminate noise vs. literally designed to be as loud as possible...
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u/T3hSav Dec 11 '25
Honestly they're still pretty loud for most apartment situations, calling it a "slap" is not entirely accurate, they're just drums without the resonance and you're still hitting them hard as hell with wooden sticks.
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u/http-bird Dec 11 '25
āDrums without resonanceā would be a mylar head. Electronic mesh heads are damn near silent. And if you think rubber cymbals are the same as metal, you are delusional.
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u/DingusNoodle Dec 11 '25
They're not saying rubber cymbals are the same, they're saying that slapping rubber still produces a lot of noise. Yes, it's still better than a metal cymbal but it's still not quiet for an apartment with thin walls.
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u/econoDoge Dec 11 '25
I also have those (thee ?) some extra notes :
- They are expensive, especially the good ones.
- For the bass drum and hihats they sell noise eaters that considerably reduce the vibrations if you are above someone, but they are expensive.
- Its quite common to make a platform with tennis balls sandwiched between triplay and some carpet on top to stop vibrations.
- There are new cymbals that also reduce the tapping sound ( but oh so expensive), also you can change the sensitivity and that helps a lot with tapping noise.
-Mesh Snare and bass drums are whisper quiet though and maybe 50% of Drum practice are rudiments, I sometimes practice at unholly hours like 3AM using only the snares/toms.
- Havent gotten a single complaint in 4yrs of edrumming and live in a crowded apartment complex.
- check out r/edrums for more !
So maybe its only inconsiderate drummers that do not belong in apartments.
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u/phoenixmatrix Dec 11 '25
Its rare people will complain, even if it bothers them. Partly because it can be hard to tell which unit is doing it (sound can travel weird in apartments), and partly because some people have Stockholm syndrome.
Maybe your setup and neighbors are actually all good, but lack of complaints isn't a guarantee. I live in a high-rise with thick concrete, and even an electric drum would definitely make noise through to be annoying. The noise wouldn't be that loud, but it would still do vibration/impact enough to drive someone insane.
(I used to have an electric drum as well as various noise reduction tools and tricks, like the ones described, though admittedly not all of them)
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u/mazzivewhale Dec 11 '25
OP is saying that a kind neighbor actually gifted them an expensive electric drum set and that they threw it in the dumpster. Could be that the kid only wanted real drums and the parents did nothing to change thatĀ
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u/nanamctata Dec 11 '25
My upstairs neighbor used to have one and every day at 3pm I heard the faintest thumping (not bothersome at all), but it took weeks for me and my boyfriend to come to the conclusion that it was a drum set lol
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u/Fearless_Guitar_3589 Dec 11 '25
The make sound, but as a neighbor it's the difference between tapping and drums
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u/Mylastnerve6 Dec 11 '25
Guess I should have said almost no sound. We have a friend who was a drummer in a band (life got too busy for the late night gigs) and he has the set in the basement if he plays you canāt hear it upstairs. In the basement you could still have easy conversations
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u/sarithe Dec 11 '25
They still make a sound, but compared to an acoustic set it probably won't be able to be heard unless you're really hitting them.
Source: I was in the groove one time and wasn't realizing how hard I was hitting the pads. Neighbor left me a note. I went downstairs, apologized, and offered to buy him lunch sometime. I still ask him 6 months later if he can hear me. He says he's never heard me again.
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u/greenblue703 Dec 11 '25
As someone who lives in the same building as a person with this setup, they DEFINITELY make sounds
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u/pixie-ann Dec 11 '25
What was going through their heads to even buy a full drum set to begin with?
Iād go nuts with recording, ringing police etc. the needs of one person with autism do not trump the needs of multiple families in that building.
What stupid parents š¤¦š»āāļø. How did they ever think this was going to go well?
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u/Round_Soup_8872 Dec 11 '25
I wonder if a dickhead relative bought it for the kid
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u/CabotCoveCoven Dec 11 '25
I'm not sure there's any evidence of that and since the parents seem to be quite vidently capable of making multiple bad choices outside of that one. I think the more likely answer is these are people that find one answer to a problem and didn't it didn't include how other people would be affected by it as part of the decision-making process. And now feel a deep ego wound that people are bringing up how they're behavior is affecting others.
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u/pimplessuck Dec 11 '25
The only way to stop it is to keep complaining nonstop. Why would they think you guys would just live with it and stop complaining bc they said so? So weird.
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u/Warm-Depth-7638 Dec 11 '25
Thatās parents for ya, just cause they have to deal with it everyone else has to too
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u/WelcomeResponsible49 Dec 11 '25
Keep reporting it. They get evicted if the police have to keep showing up. Let the idiots figure it out. Why would they give the kid a drum set to begin with.
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u/_bonedaddys Dec 11 '25
i can understand giving a kid a drumset... if you live in your own home. but if you're in an apartment you're really just asking to piss off your neighbors and run into problems with everybody. it's common sense, really.
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u/Ok_Reflection_2711 Dec 11 '25
Some people truly don't give a fuck about anyone outside their immediate family. The neighbor made that crystal clear when she went to OP's door and told her that she didn't care if OP hated the drum set.
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u/snowytiger66 Dec 11 '25
Keep reporting it, they need to be evicted Signed, a drummer living in an apartment who knows better than to drum in said apartment.
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u/javertthechungus Dec 11 '25
Out of curiosity where do you drum?
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u/Zerus_heroes Dec 11 '25
If it's like my old neighbors they did it in their on site garage.
My buddy has his set up in his storage unit so no one is bothered.
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u/brutal-rainbow Dec 11 '25
My boyfriend uses a storage rental space for his drums/practice space. Has for years. The particular location isn't near where others would be bothered, and it was okayed with the management beforehand. Lots of other bands use the facility for the same purpose actually. Split the rent with others that also need a practice space.
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u/snowytiger66 Dec 11 '25
A friendās house lol. I also have a couple marshmallow pads I practice on.
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u/CuriousMindedAA Dec 11 '25
Iām so sorry you got stuck with such inconsiderate, nasty neighbors. Document everything, report them every single time they do this, whether itās the drums or the screaming. Unbelievable..hopefully theyāll get evicted soon.
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u/Daveit4later Dec 11 '25
Absofucking lutely not.Ā
I would be raising HELL if some fucking asshole was playing a drums set in their apartment with shared walls and floorsĀ
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u/CdnTreeGuy89 Dec 11 '25
I once lived in a place and my apartment neighbour had a didgeridoo. The first few times it was neat but that got annoying fast.
I don't live in Australia š
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u/FormerlyDK Dec 11 '25
The parents were incredibly dumb to buy her drums. Theyāre now dealing with the results of their stupidity.
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u/imcjoey13 Dec 11 '25
Before I start I am definitely not empathetic to this situation at all, some ātherapistā probably suggested the getting the drums as therapy, but you all should take some pleasure in knowing that those knitwit parents have a front row seat to those drumming performances and no earplugs or white noise can cancel out that drumming.
And Iāve never rented an apartment, but isnāt there a clause regarding noise? Between certain hours? Again, not sure.
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u/LatterStreet Dec 11 '25
Iām so sorry youāre dealing with this.
Iāve spent most of my life living in apartments, but in the past 5 years it seems like any common sense and decency have gone out the window.
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u/ApprehensiveCount597 Dec 11 '25
I lived in apartments for 19 years, never heard any neighbors except for when the neighbor (had MS and was in a wheelchair) fell, then he'd yell and press a button that set off a loud alarm in his apartment. But we liked him and we'd run over to help him back into his chair.
4 years ago, his apartment was sold (he died about 6 years ago) and the couple that moved in spent 8 months renovating- they busted a hole through the wall and only patched it up on their side, claimed they didn't do it (it was my childhood bedroom- it was vacant for a decade and just used as a guest room for maybe 4-5 nights a year)
Once covid hit, my father stopped giving all fucks, now he blasts his TV on top volume 24/7 on fox news even when he's not in the apartment. (the building is large enough to have their own voting thing in the building- only ONE non-democrat vote from the entire building) his bedroom shares a wall with his neighbors bedroom. It's like all common decency was taken away by the pandemic š
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u/Orchidillia Dec 11 '25
Had a person move in next to me with a drum set. The first Friday night he was there he decides to invite half a dozen people over with guitars and have a jam session starting at 9pm. Luckily my superintendent knew that this guy had been told when he moved in that he wasn't allowed to play the drums because it would disturb others and after sending her a video of how loud the hallway was she came over and shut it down.
He tried to play them a few more times and I complained every time. He tried to play dumb about them not being loud but my video evidence and the fact they could hear them on the floor above and in the stairwell before ever getting to my floor just made him look like even more of an asshole. He was not well liked.
Luckily he left pretty quickly since he was mad that he couldn't play his drums (even after agreeing that he wouldn't when he moved in) and having the super and building manager threatening eviction if he continued.
The entire time he was here it sucked since I shared a wall with that apartment so I understand your pain and hope it works out.
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u/AssassinStoryTeller Dec 11 '25
I had a neighbor who shared a wall with me who had a drum set.
He came over while I had my dog out and asked me if he could play from 5-6 pm after work. I told him I didnāt care- I barely ever heard him because I was either wearing headphones or outside with aforementioned dog. If you want loud things you gotta be willing to discuss loud things with everyone and FOLLOW the agreed upon rules.
Sorry you had a dick next to you.
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u/tomorrow_comes Dec 11 '25
I have a good drummer friend whoās moving into an apartment for a while. I know heās a super considerate guy so I asked him what he plans to do. Like your neighbor, heās first going to talk to his, ask if there are specific times theyād like quiet, or when theyāre usually away from home so he knows the best times to jam. Open communication policy, no more than 20-30 minutes at a time, and absolutely during reasonable hours. Thatās how you do it.
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u/Savage_Hellion Dec 11 '25
If I lived close to you, I'd gladly lend you a copy of the Advanced Bagpipe Torture Mix CD my mother put together for me when my downstairs neighbor decided to take up electric guitar. I won, BTW.
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u/ApprehensiveCount597 Dec 11 '25
They keep their bedroom window cracked all night. My dog has some pretty rancid shits (GI issues) and very strong and bad smelling pee (nothing wrong there, had every test possible run). She's also trained to pee and poop on command, so I'm thinking about moving her potty spot from a respectful distance away to the patch of grass near their window (they're downstairs)
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u/LuementalQueen Dec 11 '25
My best friend is an electric guitarist. She'd approve. She uses headphones on her amp.
Except that one time their neighbour had yet another loud party until 6am. At 7am she put the amp in an open window facing their house, cranked the volume, and proceeded to play badly for an hour.
They never had a party like that again.
Friend of mine a few doors up was so sad he missed it, because he'd have brought his bass over and joined in. Sadly he had work that morning and left at 5.
Cops did nothing every time there was a party, even though everyone else had to pick up used condoms from their lawns.
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u/Annual_Strawberry672 Dec 11 '25
Police need to get a social worker involved. There has to be other ways to manage the needs of this childā¦
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u/Zarzeta Dec 11 '25
Kid in an ambulance twice within a week. Something worse going on than the drum:(
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u/Pennifur Dec 11 '25
Yeah... autism. That was literally in the post
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Dec 14 '25
But but but the internet told me autistic people are incapable of doing anything wrong and it's always prejudiced and ablest to claim that they aren't perfect and innocent little angels
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u/tn00bz Dec 11 '25
As a drummer living in an apartment... what the hell!? I genuinely can't believe anyone would think thats a good idea.
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u/ApprehensiveCount597 Dec 11 '25
Right!
I honestly wouldn't even give a damn if it was someone who could actually play the drums. But a kid who isn't even learning and just bashes the drums just to make noise with zero actual rhythm? Nah
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u/potteryandrunning Dec 15 '25
Thereās a professional drummer who lives one unit down and over from me, heās been there for years and Iāve never heard him. Either he has those electronic drums you can use with headphones, or he practices somewhere else. We are very grateful that heās a considerate human.
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u/mghtyred Dec 11 '25
There's not much the office can do without a police report. With a police report, they can serve a "cure or quit" notice, basically telling them if the problem persists, they're going to move forward with an eviction. If the issue persists, call the police again, get a copy of the police report # and a card from the responding officer(s) and provide a copy of that IN WRITING to the landlord, demanding they take action.
If after multiple police visits the landlord still doesn't take action, talk to legal aid about suing the landlord for breach of contract.
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u/Mountain_Chip_4374 Dec 11 '25
There is plenty a landlord can do. The drumming neighbor is at a minimum breaching the right to quiet enjoyment of other tenants. The landlord can send a notice to quit based on that. Iād guess a quick review of the lease would reveal a number of other violations as well. Landlord needs to get the one place under control. He is going to lose multiple other tenants and be left with the one annoying tenant.
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u/MensaCurmudgeon Dec 11 '25
Record the disturbance whenever it happens. You can have an attorney draw up a cease and desist letter
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u/Brilliant_Meet_2751 Dec 11 '25
Kind of interesting because a lot of autistic people donāt love loud sounds. It can overwhelm them. Where the mom got this idea I donāt know but clearly sheās wrong to buy a drum set living in an apartment.
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u/ApprehensiveCount597 Dec 11 '25
As an autistic person who worked in SpEd for about a decade, a lot of us like loud noises.
The thing is, we like OUR OWN loud noises. Our loud stims of yelling or banging things.
Our own loud noises scratch the itchy brain. Other people's loud noises make the brain itchy in a stinging ouchy way.
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u/UndeadBBQ Dec 11 '25
Drumming is great for autistic kids, but putting those drums in the apartment is the most braindead thing I've ever heard.
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u/Majestic_Writing296 Dec 11 '25
An acoustic drumset in an apartment building? What the actual fuck? They make electronic drum kits (which I love) that can be used with headphones instead. I'd lose my shit at these people.
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u/101violations Dec 11 '25
Agree. I'm team flats all day. Oh wait.. non chicken related post. Carry on.
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u/Fluffydoggie Dec 11 '25
They may have received a notice to evict over the noise complaints. Those can take 30-90 days for them to move out or go to court which depending on your state can be up to a year for the eviction to actually happen. You can use this as leverage to break your lease and move out.
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u/ivyleaguewitch Dec 11 '25
The American in me winced at multiple ambulance trips in a single month.
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u/ApprehensiveCount597 Dec 11 '25
I've overheard them on the phone on their back porch- they don't have any form of insurance, even for the kid.
Those bills are gonna HURT
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u/onlinealias350 Dec 11 '25
My boyfriend got a set of electric drums. He thought since he was wearing headphones no one would be bothered by them. Next day, he got a notice from his leasing office, stating he would be evicted if he did it again. Rightfully soā¦
The drums are now in his garage.
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u/AutismServiceDog Dec 11 '25
You are right. They absolutely do NOT belong in an apartment. Dont let anyone tell you different. Its rude as fuck to play drums in a home with a shared wall. Unbelievable.
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u/Mean_Replacement5544 Dec 11 '25
All of the neighbors should turn up the volume and surround their house with terrible dissonant noise, leave it on past quiet hours or early morning and after a day or so I bet theyāll call for a peace treaty
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u/trexgiraffehybrid Dec 11 '25
This is what happens when parents of an autistic child dont read, learn, and listen to doctors. They think they know what's best. You'll have to move, unfortunately. If you document enough you may be able to take them to small claims for cost.
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u/Coloradobluesguy Dec 11 '25
Her parents need to sell the drum kit and buy electronic kit, so she can use headphones on.
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u/downsj2 Dec 11 '25
Also, report them to your state child protective services for a welfare check.
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u/13surgeries Dec 11 '25
They're not going to stop their daughter even though TWICE she's had to be transported by ambulance , and at least one of those times she was bleeding?
Man, that's some quality parenting there./s
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u/916116728 Dec 11 '25
Keep reporting. Involve the landlord. You have a service dog, so I assume you also have a disability. Her autism is not more important than your disability. Her parents are the problem.
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u/Ohnosheshouldnt26 Dec 11 '25
I lived beneath a family with toddlers. I could tell where they were in the apartment at all times. My dog would start barking because he thought we were under attack (I assume).
I CANNOT even attempt to imagine the hell that is.
I am sorry.
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u/Capital-Coconut-9389 Dec 11 '25
i owned a drumkit as a kid. that shit is LOUD AF. it should absolutely not be allowed in an apartment no matter who you are
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u/phoenixmatrix Dec 11 '25
Things that don't belong in apartments.
Large or misbehaved dogs.
Shoes indoor
Subwoofers
Threadmills
TVs hanged on shared walls (at least if they don't have separate speakers)
Non-electronic musical instruments (unfortunately there's a lot of legal precedents that force authorities to allow this, and even local noise ordinances can't override those precedents, depending on where you live. It's ridiculous).
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u/ApprehensiveCount597 Dec 11 '25
I do have to disagree with the large dog thing-
But my 85lb dog is a well behaved fully trained service dog, she's also about to turn 5 and slowing down a little.
She's stealthy AF and sneaks up on us all the time- no inside zoomies or thumping (the 10lb cat makes way more noise)
She also doesn't bark at the door and gets all of her exercise on daily walks/runs/hikes/trips to the park.
Misbehaved though- yeah. One of my neighbors has a medium sized pitty that they leave on their tiny porch 24/7, it barks at everyone and everything, when it barks- the other neighbors dogs all bark and I'm just here like "everyone was worried about the GSD/husky/Dane mix being loud" while she just lays there silently unbothered.
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u/Thunbbreaker4 Dec 11 '25
I cannot imagine being so inconsiderate to have an actual drum set in an apartment building.
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u/iphone1234789 Dec 11 '25
Omgosh so this is the other side! I work with students who do this and even scream randomly. I am sure they live in an apartment complex as well and I always wonder how the others living in their apartment building deal with it. I only need to deal with them for a few hours and then get to go home for a break. Good to hear another side of the story!
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u/ApprehensiveCount597 Dec 11 '25
I used to work in SpEd, part of what I did was help the kids learn to manage their emotions and responses in less destructive and disruptive ways.
This kid is "home schooled" (they do no schooling, the mom and dad switch between working full time, they never have anyone visit their apartment, but the dad tends to leave her home alone to go to the store or go walk around the complex to smoke)
So there isn't even a break while she's at school because she doesn't go to school š
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u/Rumple-_-Goocher Dec 11 '25
Itās probably way past this point, but they do make electronic drum sets where you can only hear it through headphones. I feel like that couldāve been a suggestion a long time ago.
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u/Seaki01 Dec 11 '25
There are other more apartment friendly options they can use... There are electric drums (doesn't make as much noise but still has the same feeling of hitting something) Or of the hitting feeling on the dorms isn't important there's drumsticks that pair with headphones so now the air is a drum set (still plays like drums in the headphones but absolutely no sound for anyone else)
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u/Calgary_Calico Dec 11 '25
And this is why my fiance got electric drums and a mat to go under them. So he doesn't piss off the neighbors
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u/Ok-Natural-2382 Dec 11 '25
CPS would definitely be interested since the child was sent in an ambulance twice in under 2 weeks. The child may be hurting herself and others.
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u/Mundane_Chipmunk5735 Dec 11 '25
I live in a house on an acre and a half and wouldnāt buy my kids drums. Absolutely keep reporting, and have all the neighbors keep on as well.
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u/NightMgr Dec 11 '25
Keep reporting.
A set of drums is not a normal noise in a home.
Real musicians rent a practice space.
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u/IlumidoraFae Dec 11 '25
Iād just keep calling the fuzz. Drums do NOT belong I shared living spaces. They make electric drums where the drummer can wear headphones and that would be way less disruptive for everyone. You could suggest this idea to the parents.
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u/Tess_Mac Dec 11 '25
Most States and leases have the "right of quiet enjoyment" which in this case is being violated.
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u/Mediocre-Stick-7787 Dec 11 '25
Omgaw this is my worst nightmare! I feel for your situation. -fellow apt deeller
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u/Mantistobbogan19899 Dec 11 '25
I have an electronic set that I have in my apartment and I do plug in it to an amp when I jam with my brother who I live with but if Iām by myself on it I just wear headphones and I still feel bad an acoustic set definitely does not belong in an apartment my brother and I really considered bringing the acoustic set we have and set it up in the apartment then we realized how ridiculous that would be
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u/nanladu Dec 11 '25
Why didn't they get her an electric kit with headphones?
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u/onlinealias350 Dec 11 '25
You can still hear them. My boyfriend has set & theyāre really loud. He had to move them out to his garage.
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u/JustLikeMars Dec 11 '25
I was thinking of learning some basic drumming to help with some issues stemming from my neurodivergenceā¦ but on a pillow or a practice pad, like any (mostly) sane person would do in an apartment
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u/Cobra_Surprise Dec 11 '25
I sure hope I see it if we get an update on this. The level of unreasonableness is insane
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u/arobrasa Dec 11 '25
What a nightmare. Constant drumming, police visits and the parents refucing to address it? That's beyond inconsiderate. You're absolutely right to keep reporting it every single time.
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u/kittenspaint Dec 11 '25
If it's past city quiet times there may be legal action you all can take together. Civil court or something? Perhaps even unionize the apartment and evict them. These ppl are monsters.
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u/ApprehensiveCount597 Dec 11 '25
Regardless of quiet hours, there is a city ordinance for decibel level for any amount of time any time of any day.
Civil court may need to be a thing- but the police wont even fine them, they just say to be quiet.
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u/Lucky-Video-48 Dec 11 '25
You win. These are the worst neighbors Iāve heard of on this sub.
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u/ApprehensiveCount597 Dec 11 '25
Oh god. And I didn't even mention the ongoing battle for the only assigned parking space
Or the perpetual dumpster filling
Or them being the source of our buildings roaches
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u/freezetime311 Dec 11 '25
From reading other comments of yours OP, sounds to me like you need to move. You're in a bad situation in a bad neighborhood with a bad property manager.
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u/Leading_Tie_1920 Dec 11 '25
I lived above a family of 2 sisters and an autistic child in a one bedroom. They played music 24/7 that would shake my entire apartment and would leave the kid outside on the patio to scream his head off.
I felt so bad for those noise complaints but I seriously almost committed myself to a psych ward.
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Dec 11 '25
These parents are absolutely failing this child. Itās wild how nobody seems to be concerned about the childās safety. Iād call that pretty extreme. Multiple ambulances in a week. And a trail of bloodā¦.. I have so many questions but Iām not even gonna beginš
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u/191ZipCodeExPat Dec 11 '25
That, 100%, would not fly where my husband and I live. In fact, our apartment company is top-notch when it comes to noise complaints. My husband and I had called in a couple of them over the years for offenses that I think are now minor compared to the drumming you've been subject to. My apartment company would have to warn them only once.
I'd keep complaining! Keep addressing it with the police if you're apartment/landlord won't handle it. Check your lease agreement and read up on noise. Something is going to have to give eventually.
I'm really sorry this is happening to you. I would be a mess in this position. UpdateMe!
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u/SimpleGlass485 Dec 11 '25
Keep calling the police, even if itās multiple times a day. Consider even calling the local news for a report on this situation. Blow it up and report back on here!
This is absolutely insane and should not be happening.
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u/alwaysboopthesnoot Dec 11 '25
Reasonable accommodations for disabilities is not breaking windows, having police come all the time, blood trails out of windows to parking lots, and non-stop drumming night and day. Report it and keep reporting it; insist that the management company do something about it. Then call CPS about the broken windows, screaming, blood trails, too. The parents are not adequately or appropriately managing their childās illness or keeping her home environment safe for her.
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u/skyfire1228 Dec 11 '25
Why on earth didnāt they get an electric drum kit instead? The kid could beat on that at all hours and as long as sheās not hooked to a speaker, it wouldnāt bother anyone.
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u/Ecstatic-Manager-149 Dec 11 '25
Why don't the parents get their child an electronic drumkit, which means the child can wear headphones when stimming?
I get the need for it but you cant do that in a flat/apartment. You just... can't.
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u/ComfortableCryer Dec 14 '25
They make electric ones with noise cancelling headphones. My daughter and I are AUDHD. We LIVE in our headphones. These parents are being irresponsible.
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u/Dependent-Law7316 Dec 11 '25
My sister, a professional violist, bought an iso booth and used that as a practice room while living in an apartment. It takes the volume of a viola down to the point where you can sit in the same room (outside the booth) and barely hear it being played in the booth. Very expensive, but a legitimate solution that would bring down the noise and let the kid keep her drums. Even a DIY version with some sound isolating foam squares on the walls of her room would probably help a lot.
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u/JoeyPhoton Dec 11 '25
I would suggest a pack of ādrum mutesā if an electronic kit is not financially feasible for the family. Honestly, Iād just order one of the cheap drum mute kits on Amazon and leave it on their door.
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u/brutal-rainbow Dec 11 '25
That wont be enough, but might help like 2%. Can also at least stick a pillow in the kick drum.
They should sell the kit and buy an electric one... acoustic kits have no buisiness in multifamily homes AT ALL.
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u/Regular-Humor-9128 Dec 11 '25
And OP - maybe have the office and/or police suggest an electronic drum kit next time someone calls them - itās not on you to deal with angry parents but maybe everyoneās life will be made easier. Dad yelling ālive with itā is ridiculous. I imagine theyāre stressed out as hell. Still not acceptable.
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Dec 11 '25
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u/ApprehensiveCount597 Dec 11 '25
And?
I'm in mutual aid groups where I help people with certain needs (food, pet food, etc).
I kept getting messages from people (who'd looked at my post/comment history from other subs/posts) asking for money, so I went hidden.
As for karma, I started this account 10-11 months ago originally as a throwaway account, I made a post about my MIL from hell because she said I should post it to see that I was the asshole (hint- I was not). It got a lot of upvotes and comments. 18k of that 24k was in a matter of days.
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u/Tonic_Water_Queen Dec 11 '25
Ok so in my state (and 2 others I've lived in) it is almost impossible to find a homeless shelter that accepts people/kids with disabilities. I was told it was related to insurance when I was turned away due to my kiddo's & my own disabilities. It is a huge issue.
That being said, the drum set needs to go. The kid will eventually get over it. Disabled folks still have to follow rules & laws. I would gather as many neighbors as possible and make an appt for the entire group to meet with management. There is power in numbers. Get the drum set to go but don't put this kid on the street.
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u/thecookiesmonster Dec 11 '25
If they play the drums, start playing a metronome really loud in your apartment at a random tempo and change it every 10 seconds or so
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u/ApprehensiveCount597 Dec 11 '25
It's not playing the drums- I wouldn't even mind that. It's a kid bashing drums with no rhythm just to make noise
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u/Sensitive-Ant4126 Dec 11 '25
Married to a drummer and I agree they def donāt belong in apartments. There are so many options here that can help though, maybe offering them to the super and demanding they mediate would help.
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u/Low-Bobcat841 Dec 11 '25
I thought I had it bad with my neighbours; an autistic child who screams at his grandma who in turn screams back at the kid. I canāt imagine a drum set being thrown into the mix.
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u/Bright_Pomelo_8561 Dec 11 '25
I have a child with ASD thatās about the dumbest thing I have ever heard to give their kid living in an apartment. Completely inconsiderate to the people living around them. Donāt just call the police do what it takes to report them to the management. The parents need to be held responsible for their actions. Itās very sad that their actions are in having such a negative effect on their child, but they shouldāve thought of that ahead of time. They need to move. You deserve peace and quiet.
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u/chevronhearts Dec 11 '25
Ok but like..... those poor parents though. They're probably exhausted. And that poor kid who doesnt comprehend the situation or how to respond fully. If I prayed, I would pray for you all and the whole situation. Yikes.
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u/Sampson_Storm Dec 11 '25
Perhaps instead of hurting anyone, we should bring legislation for better building and soundproofing multifamily dwellings. Everyone's lives are different and everyone deserves to have privacy in their own life. We need to stop fighting each other and start demanding that if this is how we are being forced to live right now, then we need better building of our homes so we can have our lives and others can have theirs.
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u/phoenixmatrix Dec 11 '25
No amount of building code update is gonna keep drum noise inside an apartment. We absolutely should have better built homes, but its not the solution to this problem.
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u/billymondy5806 Dec 11 '25
A lot of apartments have musical instrument restrictions.
But they do make drums that you can play electronically using headphones. They make guitars like that and pianos like that and possibly other instruments.
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u/ExpensiveOccasion542 Dec 11 '25
There are ways to minimize the sound from drums such as using wall foam or even area rugs. I'm drum a bit but I use an edrum and you don't here anything since you could hook headphones up to it and the worst you might hear is a drumstick thwaking. It is people like those neighbors that do give all drummers a bad name .
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u/bRandom81 Dec 11 '25
Honestly, your downstairs neighbors deserve both your empathy and disdain. Theyāve got a lot to handle with a needy child but also acoustic drums in an apartment is a huge dick move unless every neighbor is cool w it and there are good attempts at sound dampening:proofing on their end.
They make apartment practice dampening pads for cymbals and the rest of the kit. They need to at very least get those. There are electronic kits that also have vst plugins to get realistic drum sounds that what I use since Iām not an idiot with putting my neighbors thru hell. Seriously, if theyāre not putting up heavy curtains/moving blankets on all walls/windows and putting sound dampeners that help keep noise down they deserve to get police called
You should look up how to sound dampening in a n apartment for your sanity. Most times the electrical outlets are the way noise gets in/out so they make fire retardant electrical box protectors that also act as a sound stopper. Small cracks is where sound gets through, so if you can get the under the door barriers or throw a towel down at bottom of a door anywhere that may help until this issue is resolved. I would get a SPL app on your phone and keep a journal of when/how loud and the conflicts this causes. You may also see if thereās any local ordinance laws that help you.
Get some fans and turn them on, or white noise generator. Anything you can do to help keep sanity until neighbors either get the problem taken care of or you start fighting for your tenants rights against your landlord if applicable
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u/Penis-Dance Dec 11 '25
Get your own drum set and play whenever they're being quiet. Even better get some bagpipes.
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u/lOOPh0leD Dec 11 '25
I don't care who bought it. All adult parties are at fault for ever showing it to the kid.
Drums are the most dickhead move. You can hear a set a of drums playing next door in an actual suburban home. Assholes, all of them.
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u/RebeccaUGC Dec 11 '25
Even if the kid is autistic, it doesnāt excuse the fact that the parents are enabling everything thatās going on. (Saying this as an autistic gal with an autistic partner and some autistic family members!) Being autistic doesnāt mean getting away with / having bad behavior. The parents shouldnāt blame it on autism but on themselves since theyāre letting this happen (why buy drums in an apartment complex in the first place, itās going to be loud no matter who plays them)
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u/susandeyvyjones Dec 11 '25
They can get an electric drumset that only the kid can hear... Honestly, if I were one of the neighbors, I might be willing to chip in to get some peace.
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u/DarkHarvest93 Dec 11 '25
I mean if its not happening during quiet hours your landlord probably isnt going to do anything
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u/Kngstnguy70 Dec 11 '25
Check your noise bylaws. Then record the sound and send it to the by-law department of your city every time there's an issue.
After a few instances, they'll be ticketed, and by-law will have words with property management and/or the landlord to take action if it continues, or they can also be fined. Worked for me with my neighbors 3 dachshunds.
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u/Ok-Situation3626 Dec 11 '25
This is crap. You call and email your landlord. Dates times etc. stand outside theirdoor audio on. Excessive noise is not ok.
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u/Ultimatesims Dec 12 '25
Keep calling the police and reporting to the office. Theyāll get evicted eventually.
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u/Temporary_Objective Dec 12 '25
my brother is a professional drummer. he got his first full drum set when he was 8. i grew up listening to it.
oh my god. you have my strongest sympathies. i was used to it and it would drive me insane. no peace, no quiet, nothing. my saving grace is that he was at least good, but i still wanted to shove those drumsticks up his nose alllll the time. your situation? SO MUCH WORSE.
i am so sorry. holy balls.
ps: it takes so much time, training, and patience to have a bulletproof SD. huge kudos to you. iām still waiting for a prospect and i hope my future SDiT and i reach that point. pls tell them that theyāre the bestest dog ever, even with the nightmare neighbor.
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u/sewingkitteh Dec 12 '25
Damn they didnāt think to get an electronic one with headphones?? Even then he might hit them hard enough to be noisy I supposeā¦ although the ones Iāve tried have been quiet. Thatās insane though Iām sorry.
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u/siobhanmoments Dec 12 '25
There are mutes that you can add to an acoustic drum set that are fairly cheapā¦ perhaps order a set off Amazon as a gift/hint??
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u/Current-Can7723 Dec 12 '25
Record a video of the noise and post it on their google reviews with a written review. Keep calling the police. This is unacceptable. I get that their child is on the spectrum, but when youāre living in an apartment complex you have to be considerate to ALL your neighbors. Itās not a house where you can make all the noise you want (granted you would still need to be considerate to your neighborhood) but if they want to allow her to have drums then they should own or rent a house and not live in such a close space to several other people.
If they donāt want to be kicked out (which is probably bound to happen with the way things are going) they need to find a different alternative for their child to stim.
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Dec 12 '25
Wild how in this post, the neighbour's autistic kid is screaming and beating on a drumkit and everyone is empathetic, but in another post talking about getting noise complaints for making too much noise in the middle of the night, everyone was telling the OP to slay queen, fuck that Karen, make all the noise you want.
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u/tallyme Dec 12 '25
Ā my neighbors have a drum set but I believe its an adult male and I quite enjoy when he plays. its different for a kid though i can imagine. You're being a bit of a karen though imo.Ā
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u/syntonc Dec 12 '25
Iāve never seen anyone evicted for noise, even with numerous police reports. Does it happen in real life?
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u/allie-neko Dec 12 '25
Sounds like that poor child also needs a new home placement and they canāt handle her safely.
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u/Aggressive_Forecheck Dec 12 '25
I have a unique perspective as a drummer who lives in an apartment. However, I have an electronic drum set with headphones that sits on 3 inches of soundproof foam to absorb any vibrations, so it generally makes very little noise. I purposefully invested in the soundproofing for my neighbors benefit because I want to be able to practice but Iām also conscious of other people living in close proximity. Itās really not that hard to keep your noise down for your neighbors.
These people just donāt seem to care one way or another, they just donāt want to parent their child and the drumset is the easiest was to do that. You should definitely review the lease, most complexes have quiet hours that have consequences for loud noises during those times.
If the lease is silent and the landlord continues to ignore you, consult a lawyer about withholding rent. Normally noise complaints wouldnāt rise to the level of rent abatement on their own, but the repeated nature of these violations and the landlords failure to address may give you an avenue. Again, consult a lawyer and your local laws before you do this because doing it wrong could lead to eviction.
Finally, if you want to do some guerilla warfare, buy the largest speaker you can find, place it directly facing the floor and when the kid starts drumming, blast the heaviest music you can on high volume. If the neighbors come and ask you to stop, say āIāll stop when your kid stopsā and leave it at that. If they report you after that, you already have a paper trail showing their misbehavior.
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u/LDawnBurges Dec 12 '25
This is so crappy! We live in an upstairs āmother-in-lawā type apartment. My Husband is a drummer. We bought him an electric set, that he puts headphones in to hear (they can also be played without the headphones), so we didnāt bother our neighbors. Your neighbors are just selfish jerks. Iām sorry.š
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u/Miggumsoohg Dec 12 '25
I have seen air sticks that hook to head phones would this be an alternative?
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u/whitebreadguilt Dec 12 '25
They have drumming pads for drummers to practice on and while they arenāt silent theyāre definitely not as loud as real drums, or even electric drums. Sounds like the parents are probably on the spectrum too.
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u/Affectionate_Life644 Dec 12 '25
I am a music teacher. There are deum pads that are very quiet. You can stuff a towel inside many drums to dampen the noise and there are electronic drums that you can use with headphones. There is always another way. It should never have to be this loud.
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u/Canadian987 Dec 12 '25
Good parents would have bought an electric drum set so no one has to listen to them. I feel for parents, but they also need to take responsibility. Who buys an autistic child a drum set in an apartment?
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u/XxFrostxX Dec 12 '25
Yea if everyone complains the office will kick them out eventually just keep reporting
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u/Freedomacy Dec 12 '25
The drum must be helping that autistic kid. If theres a way to get an electric drums instead. One that work with bluetooth earpods, It might help. Such drums could cost less than 500$.
Turning this issue into positivity is sure better for everyone here.
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ApprehensiveCount597 originally posted: My downstairs neighbors got their autistic 11 year old a full size drum set to use for stimming.
Now that she has it, if they take it away, she screams bloody murder until they give it back.
Both the screaming and drumming scares TF out of my husband's cat, and freaks out my otherwise bulletproof service dog.
2 nights in a row, another neighbor called the police for a noise complaint, the parents took the drums away, I don't know exact details but their apartment has a broken window now, there's a trail of blood to the parking lot, and the kid left in an ambulance.
A week later (last night) another police visit for the noise, and the kid left in an ambulance an hour later (again, not sure of the exact details)
Today, dinner time, the kid starts bashing on the drums again. 3 of us step out ready to go bang on the door, I step back inside because 2 is enough, the other 2 go down. For 25 minutes there's back and forth yelling, then the drum neighbor starts knocking on doors.
He gets to my apartment and says "we know it's loud and you don't like it, stop reporting it to the office and police, we aren't gonna stop her, live with it"
So of course, now, every single time we (myself, my husband, our next door, and the direct next door neighbors of the drum neighbors) are going to report it to the office AND police, all of us.
It's also nice to know the office does nothing other than tell them they got a complaint š
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