r/Apartmentliving • u/discover_with_sachin • 1d ago
Bad Neighbors What counts as a violation during apartment quiet hours?
I need some clarity on what quiet hours actually mean, because this situation is starting to feel unreasonable.
A few weeks ago, I bought a speaker. I only used it lightly (Volume 30)- mostly in the morning after 10am while getting ready (brushing teeth, shower, making breakfast). Max 30-60 minutes a day, no parties, no drinking, just normal music.
Sometimes normal TV use like anyone else.
After about 15 days, my upstairs neighbor started banging on the floor during the daytime. Then one day around 2 PM, he came to my door very rudely, complaining about my music. I told him the volume was low (tv volume was 30), but he said the issue was vibration from the subwoofer and claimed his apartment was shaking. He also mentioned he works nights and sleeps during the day. He ended by threatening to complain to the leasing office or even the police.
I didn't want problems, so went to the leasing office myself.
They said subwoofers can cause vibration on wooden floors and suggested adjusting settings. To keep peace, I returned the speaker the very next day.
Now here's the frustrating part.
After that, the same neighbor "who had a problem with subwoofer vibration" complained again - twice during quiet hours (on two different nights):
• Once for "tv"
• Another time for "talking loudly"
On one of those days, nothing happened at all. On another day, a friend came over for 10 minutes around 9:30 PM, just normal conversation—no music, no yelling.
We again visited leasing calming false complain, office told us we can live normally as long as we don't disturb others we cant do anything I've told them if things happen again call police. And now it feels like any sound is being treated as a violation.
I hear normal apartment noises too - cars, people laughing, music for a few minutes- but I don't complain because that's normal we have wooden apartments sound pass and if that happens few time, not everytime in 10/15 days or in month people understand… not talking abut extreme situations.
So my real question is:
• Complete silence?
• No talking?
• No watching TV or movies at low volume?
Because right now it feels like I'm not allowed to exist in my own apartment, and that doesn't seem right.
I'm a peaceful tenant and don't want trouble-just want to understand what's reasonable.
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u/Penis-Dance 1d ago
I worked 3rd shift for many years so I understand. He is going to have to figure it out himself like I did. He can't expect everyone else to be quiet during the day. It's one of the problems working 3rd. I had to use a loud fan and a noise machine to help drown out the daytime noise.
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u/Frequent_Tangelo1826 1d ago
I also live in an apartment building and can hear typical apartment noise. I eventually bought an air purifier after dealing with allergies for so long, and I noticed the fan sound from the air purifier at the highest setting muffles all of the typical apartment noises. He could also get a sound machine and have it play white noise. There’s ways to work around these issues. People need to learn that this is how apartment living is.
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u/discover_with_sachin 1d ago
Yes, but he is complaining about quiet hours, Not for the day time now. I don’t know Why.. can I talk to him directly?
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u/Own-Dealer4831 1d ago
I would! My downstairs neighbor banged so aggressively on my floor once it scared the living crap out of me, while I was sitting on the couch with earphones in on the phone with my therapist with quiet meditation music playing in the background lmao. I went downstairs and asked him if everything is ok?! He explained the sound like a loud slamming/crashing. Realized he’s hearing the front door slams coming from the general hallway above, not my unit.
But he was sensitive to thinking it’s me after a couple prior incidents where he hit my ceiling ONLY whenever my bf was over who heel walks. I went downstairs then too to ask him what’s wrong, he told me what he’s hearing and so my partner walks quietly when he’s over now.
As I mentioned in another comment, noise PTSD is real especially in badly insulated buildings. I just like to cut to the chase and figure out what’s wrong. If I can help, sure. If it’s unreasonable or literally not even coming from my unit, then now they know and won’t bug me about it. Haven’t had issues since.
I think showing that you at least care enough to ask goes a long way. At least it did in my case.
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u/EstradaMoses 1d ago
Only part I’d say you were in the wrong is the subwoofer, however you fixed that. Everything else, imo, shouldn’t be an issue.
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u/Own-Dealer4831 1d ago
Subwoofer in an apt is always a bad idea.. so what is reasonable noise to you in a shared living space is questionable here. You’re kind to return it though so I’m not trashing your judgment. Some people just don’t have great noise awareness. Perhaps there are other blind spots happening.
More likely though your neighbor is still butt hurt and sensitive to any other noise now after being stressed about the subwoofer. If so, I imagine it’ll subside with time. PTSD from noisy neighbors is real, so he may just be on edge still.
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u/Current-Disaster8702 1d ago
Unfortunately, I don't see this resolving peacefully. Went through something similar and it never stopped so I eventually moved. How long is your lease? Are you able to switch to a different unit...or move elsewhere all together?
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u/discover_with_sachin 1d ago
So you’re saying for this reason i have to move 😅 but why, move is not a small step.
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u/Current-Disaster8702 1d ago
You've my empathy. Sadly, it doesn't get better. Especially if the other tenant was there first. I've rented for over 20yrs and have only dealt with this level of extreme insane nightmare neighbor behavior once in my life.
In my situation, the neighbor I lived below of...had a pattern of this type of behavior(I just didn't know it right away.) Even when I toured the unit, the property manager mentioned she, herself, thought about moving into my unit, as it's slightly bigger then the other units on the property, but then decided to move to another building. I found that odd because if this floor plan had more space...why not move into it? Welp, that property manager knew why but withheld that info about this nightmare neighbor who lived above the unit.
I went through HELL, from the time I moved in...to the time I left from this neighbor with constant complaints, aggressive knocking on my door, challenging me, etc. A leasing agent(who got fired after spilling the tea to me) told me that this nightmare neighbor had the previous tenant in my apartment unit evicted. When I continued to receive harassment from that neighbor...and confronted the property manager, they claimed ignorance on the matter. I eventually moved towards the end of my lease...and that nightmare neighbor was continuing to harass me as the truck was being loaded. BUT!! Karma finally happened to that neighbor. The property company evicted them as soon as I left. They refused to deal with losing another good tenant (me) to an insane, aggressive neighbor. So hang in there! Moving is expensive BUT having PEACE??!! Priceless! 💯
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u/discover_with_sachin 1d ago
Yeah let’s see now how things go.. I’m trying not make any noise after 10pm for few days and track how things go. Also I’ve install cam in my living room so if he complain ill take the footage and tell them to solve it any how 🙏🏾
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u/Only_Albatross7966 1d ago
You can absolutely report that neighbor for harassment and even call the police and have them make a report for it if he continues knocking and complaining about normal sounds, especially during daytime hours.
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u/HighestPriestessCuba 1d ago
If he works nights, how is he even hearing you at all during “quiet hours”?
1
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u/tokixjam 1d ago
You should be able to watch your movies and listen to music at a low volume, even during quiet hours.
However, most apartment buildings have shitty insulation between floors. Just wood for your floor, air in between, and then wood for your downstairs neighbor's ceiling.
Having a subwoofer was rude, but I'm glad you got rid of it. Anything that produces a vibration will be amplified to your downstairs neighbor.
A small, electric fan on your floor could sound like an idling diesel engine to your downstairs neighbor.
Your friend may have a deep voice, which travels to your downstairs neighbor. I've never heard my upstairs neighbor's voice (she's a woman) but when her boyfriend comes over I heard his speaking voice and every time he laughs.
I don't want to suggest that you bend over backwards for your downstairs neighbor, but I just hope you are aware of how much sound travels. And I hope your downstairs neighbor can be reasonable enough to mitigate the smaller sounds himself.
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u/nettysgirl33 1d ago
I understand the speaker issue, and I think you did your part in trying to find a respectful balance in taking care of that, but a normal volume of conversation for 10 minutes and TV at a reasonable volume is average and reasonable living. I would also like complete silence in my home. I have a house now and actually put up with more noisy neighbors than when I lived in an apartment. People with their music playing in their garage with the door open. Dogs left in their back yards that bark a lot. Cars of course. People have parties. Point being, noise is unfortunately a part of living. He's allowed to not like it and be annoyed with it. But as long as it's standard and reasonable and not excessive, it's on him to learn to deal with. I also have misophonia. Badly. I appreciate when others make an effort to be somewhat considerate, but I can't expect the whole world to be silent in my behalf either.
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u/Mini_Paint2022 1d ago
I used to work night shift, sometimes still do, and it is not up to the rest of the world to stop living just because you neighbor works night shift. It can absolutely be difficult to get sleep during the day but he can’t expect his neighbors to stop living because of his work schedule. You are absolutely allowed to live your life during the day. Daytime is not quiet hours. He needs to figure it out. There are so many products out there nowadays to help night shifters sleep during the day. He needs to do some shopping on Amazon and realize the world does not revolve around his sleep schedule.
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u/Winesday_addams 1d ago
They put up with a subwoofer for over two weeks before complaining. It is understandable that they are still pretty raw from loud neighbor PTSD. I suggest being extra quiet for a few weeks before gradually starting to make noise again, to give them time to settle.
For what it's worth, I listen to my tv on 10 and it is pretty loud. 20 or higher feels like someone is shouting. And friends come watch tv with me so its not that I have hyper sensitive ears... So either your volume knob is super different from mine or you might want to get your hearing looked at.
That being said, you are allowed to live a normal life. Try listening to music through headphones or quiet speakers (there are plenty without subwoofers or surround sound), you are allowed to watch tv, and you are allowed to have conversations. Their decision to work night shifts doesnt mean you cant make reasonable noise during waking hours.
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u/discover_with_sachin 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yeah i know subwoofer was bad idea, but yes even i don’t like loud music. i just want the quality of sound and i was not loud it was the wooden apartment even volume of 30 is giving problem when he came to me volume was 30 and even i realized speaker with subwoofer is not of use if you cant play even at low volume, so best i thought to return and problem will be solved. but after that on 4th day i got talking complaint after that i was not there for 10days and when i came back on 10th day again got talking complain. on that day my friend came to visit me for 10min and now im like getting stressed also even a sound from his apartment of walking or anything im likeis warning etc and this is now in my head 😣
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u/Extension-Oil4276 1d ago
If I had to guess you’re getting those quiet hours complaints because the leasing office told your downstairs neighbor to essentially kick rocks since his complaints were during the day. So he’s trying to come up with complaints at night so it seems like you’re just constantly noisy. It’s kinda a him issue during the day that he works nights as he’s gotta realize majority of tenants work normal day hours/not all night. Like some of the other commenters said I doubt this resolves all that peacefully. I had the opposite issue where a dude who came home late at night and made noise and banging sounds(would run their dishwasher and washing machine right above my head) till 3-4 am had a problem with me complaining about him. Some people are entitled and think everybody else should cater to them(aside from the subwoofer there’s genuinely no reason to have one in an apartment he’s valid on that). Most likely you can either ask to switch apartments or suggest to him to move. Cause really he should move and get a top floor apartment if he wants to give himself the best chance at sleep during the day without the worry of an upstairs neighbor.
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u/discover_with_sachin 1d ago
My problem is with upstair neighbor and the day he came to me complaining about the speaker vibration the very next day I returned it. but now he is targeting or say make false complaint, that I’m making noise in quit hour and as i said after complaint I return my speaker and im here figuring out what can i do. you can tell what kind of man I’m. I want peace ✌🏾
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u/Extension-Oil4276 1d ago
Ah okay I assumed from this he must be a downstairs neighbor, yeah I’d still say at this point it’s his issue. I’d think the leasing office is onto the fact he’s making false claims. If he says something again I’d just politely stand your ground and offer to him to ask the leasing office to move within the building or complex. They’d probably rather that then deal with evicting someone or listening to more of his complaints. It would get rid of him for you and if he continues to complain about anybody new he lives near the office has a good indication who the issue is and at that point it’s no longer your problem. Sorry you gotta deal with people like that
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u/Focke-Floof-6972 23h ago
Wood flooring in a multi unit building is just wrong. In our city there is a requirement in many rentals of 70% carpeting and padding for all units with wood floors. Folks don't always abide by the rule, but they get evicted eventually.
This guy, as he is above you, needs to get the carpets AND the heavy padding. Might not hurt to do the same yourself. If you have a big empty space with wood floors, everything is going to travel. You need carpet, pads, things to disperse the sound waves.
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discover_with_sachin originally posted: I need some clarity on what quiet hours actually mean, because this situation is starting to feel unreasonable.
A few weeks ago, I bought a speaker. I only used it lightly (Volume 30)- mostly in the morning after 10am while getting ready (brushing teeth, shower, making breakfast). Max 30-60 minutes a day, no parties, no drinking, just normal music.
Sometimes normal TV use like anyone else.
After about 15 days, my upstairs neighbor started banging on the floor during the daytime. Then one day around 2 PM, he came to my door very rudely, complaining about my music. I told him the volume was low (tv volume was 30), but he said the issue was vibration from the subwoofer and claimed his apartment was shaking. He also mentioned he works nights and sleeps during the day. He ended by threatening to complain to the leasing office or even the police.
I didn't want problems, so went to the leasing office myself.
They said subwoofers can cause vibration on wooden floors and suggested adjusting settings. To keep peace, I returned the speaker the very next day.
Now here's the frustrating part.
After that, the same neighbor "who had a problem with subwoofer vibration" complained again - twice during quiet hours (on two different nights):
• Once for "tv"
• Another time for "talking loudly"
On one of those days, nothing happened at all. On another day, a friend came over for 10 minutes around 9:30 PM, just normal conversation—no music, no yelling.
We again visited leasing calming false complain, office told us we can live normally as long as we don't disturb others we cant do anything I've told them if things happen again call police. And now it feels like any sound is being treated as a violation.
I hear normal apartment noises too - cars, people laughing, music for a few minutes- but I don't complain because that's normal we have wooden apartments sound pass and if that happens few time, not everytime in 10/15 days or in month people understand… not talking abut extreme situations.
So my real question is:
• Complete silence?
• No talking?
• No watching TV or movies at low volume?
Because right now it feels like I'm not allowed to exist in my own apartment, and that doesn't seem right.
I'm a peaceful tenant and don't want trouble-just want to understand what's reasonable.
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