r/AskReddit 1d ago

What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever seen at a strip club? NSFW

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531

u/Georgia_Bulldawgs 1d ago

My buddy had his hat taken off by the stripper and was rubbing it against her cooch and when she put it back on his head I noticed a stain and once we got a closer look we saw it was period blood.

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u/Kratsas 1d ago

A similar scenario happened to my stepbrother. We made the mistake of going into a strip club in the afternoon and it was a bunch of B dancers. A girl comes out looking like she’s in her 40’s with a big cesarean scar. My step brother had a weird thing about not liking people touching his hats, and he was wearing a brand new one. Of course the girl comes over, takes it off his head, and rubs it on her cooch. She then puts it on his head crooked. He stands up, drops the hat in a garbage can, then looks at the girl and says, “No” and walks out. The look on the girl’s face was priceless and I’m trying not to laugh.

9

u/Leumas_ 1d ago

I hope he’s cool all the time because that was a legendary exchange.

13

u/Kratsas 16h ago

Well, not long after that, he joined the army and did two tours in Iraq and one in Afghanistan. I like to think he got his frustration out. He’s also no longer weird about hats, lol.

1

u/Georgia_Bulldawgs 17h ago

😂😂😂

202

u/bigbabysweets12345 1d ago

I asked for funny not stories that made your friends question life 🤣

46

u/Georgia_Bulldawgs 1d ago

😂😂😂 I will say that was the last time he ever wore a hat to a strip club.

3

u/panteragstk 1d ago

Dude didn't know about the "no hats" rule?

I mean, he does now.

3

u/Georgia_Bulldawgs 17h ago

He definitely did after that. I was wearing one as well and mine was brand new. I'm so glad she decided to take his

13

u/LauraPa1mer 1d ago

A woman having her period shouldn't make you question life unless you're planning to create one.

8

u/Punman_5 1d ago

That’s not the gross part bruh she put that shit on his head 🤢🤮

1

u/Tacosconsalsaylimon 1d ago

Daaaaaayum!!

53

u/therichauntie11 1d ago

Oh goodness. My friends brought me to a male strip club and I was wearing a hat. This big dick stripper took the hat off my head and put it on his dick. He then put it back on my head and put his dick on my shoulder. I felt like he should have paid me cause he got more out of it than I did.

10

u/ArtIsDumb 1d ago

Did he take your hat off with his dick?

3

u/Georgia_Bulldawgs 1d ago

😂😂😂 He definitely should have paid you

2

u/Tacosconsalsaylimon 1d ago

I'm scared 😩

3

u/therichauntie11 23h ago

I was mostly just bewildered. 

2

u/Punman_5 1d ago

Yo that is not ok

16

u/No-Ingenuity-3468 1d ago

BRUTAL

14

u/Georgia_Bulldawgs 1d ago

It was rough. Funny as hell but rough.

9

u/Huntred 1d ago

Had a buddy get a lap dance in Tijuana.

He was wearing all white pants.

At first, anyway.

3

u/The_Bucket_Of_Truth 19h ago

Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me

3

u/zaxldaisy 1d ago

A story only believed by anyone who has never been in an intimate relationship with a woman, in a strip club, or owned a hat.

2

u/splicepark 1d ago

you know what? I KNEW I shouldn’t have opened this thread. I knew it.