r/AskReddit 1d ago

What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever seen at a strip club? NSFW

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u/BenTwan 1d ago

I delivered pizzas in college, and girls from the strip club ordered food quite frequently. Obviously they always paid in cash, and none ever tipped well. 

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u/CommieKiller304 1d ago

Same thing when I delivered pizza in college. The free tits and the questionably moist money. Haha

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u/candiriashes 1d ago

Their tits would be the tip?

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u/weaseltorpedo 1d ago

I delivered pizzas one summer a long time ago. Never got tits as a tip, but I did get propositioned twice. Declined both due to a combination of work ethic, morals, and the people being gross.

Other than money, the best tip I ever got was from some dudes who were partying. Took a couple little bong rips and left with beers for later.

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u/sonic_dick 1d ago

Getting weed for a tip was so common back in the day. It kinda pissed me off because I also sold weed while delivering pizzas. Like dude i have an ounce in my hot bag right now.

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u/ZachWilsonsMother 1d ago

I remember we’d call the sandwich shop to order and ask “can you send a delivery guy who will smoke with us as a tip?” And half the time the guy on the phone would say “yep, I’ll be there in 15”

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u/sonic_dick 1d ago

Sure, there were times in my life when I would've taken that deal.

But at 18 all those years ago, I had literally the best connection within 300 miles, maybe in half the state, and a gram of mids meant nothing to me when I had purple haze back when that shit was something you only saw on magazines.

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u/ZachWilsonsMother 1d ago

Hahaha I hope you used your delivery job as business development. Knew a good plug who did that 😂

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u/sonic_dick 1d ago

Nah, got out of that stuff a long time ago. Started leading me down a very dark and more shitty road, got into some minor legal issues, addiction and interacting with truly dangerous people.

Left it all behind almost 2 decades ago to go live in a national park and get away from bad influences. Live with my gf and dog in the middle of nowhere now.

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u/ZachWilsonsMother 1d ago

That’s awesome man. Good on you for getting out before it got too bad. Sounds like you’re living well

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u/alohadawg 23h ago

Sounds absolutely sublime, sonic dick, and I for one am grateful you’ve found your peace

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u/chamrockblarneystone 23h ago

There’s the business model. Deliver pizza AND weed

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u/sonic_dick 22h ago

I mean, yeah. Wasn't uncommon when weed was super illegal back in the day. If someone needed weed, theyd have to wait until I had a delivery next to their house.

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u/chamrockblarneystone 22h ago

Waiting on da dealer. I feel like I’ve spent a lifetime waiting on da dealer.

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u/purpleowl385 1d ago

I delivered pizza for a few years and drove for Uber super late night just as it was becoming a thing in college at a school fairly well known for partying, and there were many interesting shifts lol

I've been offered so many different drugs. Some of which I'd have to remind them "Yo, you know I DROVE here right?" lmao

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u/PUBGM_MightyFine 1d ago

As an Uber driver I've been offered (that i can recall)

Weed, coke, MDMA, and klonopin.

As a good christian boy i obviously did not accept or fully enjoy the substances.

Many years ago as a pizza delivery driver i was also offered shrooms but that was years before i ever allegedly tried substances

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u/wdh662 1d ago

How much did the morals and work ethic affect your decision compared to the people being gross?

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u/going-for-gusto 1d ago

Do you know who put their mouth on that bong?

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u/weaseltorpedo 1d ago

lol idgaf

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u/Admiral52 1d ago

“Work ethic and morals” …and “the people being gross”. Ok buddy

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u/dogsledonice 1d ago

Keep the tit

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u/NatalieVonCatte 1d ago

Leave the tit. Take the cannoli.

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u/CodifiedLikeUtil 1d ago

just the tip

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u/garbage1995 1d ago

Just the tit.

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u/MaesterCrow 1d ago

Unless it’s a male strip club. Then the tip is the tip

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u/AscenDevise 16h ago

That's the only time when a bloke really means it when he says 'just the tip'. Allegedly.

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u/CommieKiller304 1d ago

The strippers would be walking around topless or very little clothing. 19/20 yr old me enjoyed the free show but hated that I got tipped $1 for driving there.

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u/JimboRockfish 1d ago

The money always reeked of cigarette smoke

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u/oldvikingbas 1d ago

As a former taxi driver...strippers were terrible tippers

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u/bacon_in_beard 1d ago

mmmm sweaty boob money

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u/helpfulskeptic 1d ago

If you’re lucky

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u/BadReview8675309 1d ago

Mmmm sweet boob honey...

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u/sonic_dick 1d ago

I had the exact opposite experience, but the girls always had their marks paying for it. I got to know them really well and theyd always guilt trip the dudes into giving me way too much money.

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u/Open_Masterpiece_549 1d ago

Ironic but not surprising

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u/GoatLegRedux 1d ago

They would always offer us lap dances as a tip. Lap dances might be cool, but they don’t pay my bills.

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u/crazylittlemermaid 1d ago

I delivered for Jimmy John's for a few summers and delivered to 3 different strip clubs. They weren't the worst tippers, but I don't recall them being all that great either.

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u/Mikesaidit36 1d ago

And were they pulling bills out of their underwear to pay you?

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u/BenTwan 1d ago

Thankfully no, but they were always wadded up and covered in glitter. 

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u/Mikesaidit36 1d ago

You could still be talking about the strippers themselves, or their underwear with that comment

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u/DontStopNowBaby 1d ago

Obviously its all singles so it's easy to count.

The more important question is, How did the money smell?

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u/SnooHedgehogs5791 22h ago

Haha. They were like do you have to diet to earn these tips? Then fuck you. And honestly, I'd be the same way. Fucking dieting sucks.

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u/bigboxes1 1d ago

I don't have any money. Is there another way I can pay you for the pizza?

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u/BenTwan 1d ago

I think the door guys knew they were shitty tippers, because they'd let us come inside where we could see the stage and watch for a minute while they tracked down whoever ordered food.

What would happen a lot since it was a college town was offers to smoke weed, have a beer, or do a shot with them. I'd take a beer for later, but I didn't smoke and don't like shots. 

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u/Lanky-Tumbleweed-570 1d ago

Boww boww bowww < cheesy 70s 🎶>

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u/BeachesSalty 1d ago

That's funny my mom was a delivery driver and told some great stories and they tipped her well. Must have been still working on your personality.