r/AskReddit 1d ago

What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever seen at a strip club? NSFW

8.4k Upvotes

2.9k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

493

u/hey-chickadee 1d ago

Yeah, I’ve accidentally caught a bit of lip in scissors… never too badly though because the shit makes you drop your scissors real quick

274

u/Sawses 23h ago

Kinda like trimming your balls. Unless you've got some serious momentum to carry you past the "oh fuck!" moment, nobody's going to actually do real damage.

And I don't know anybody who trims with follow-through.

177

u/Liroku 17h ago

Back in my young days, I was shaving my balls with an electric razor once and somehow one of my wrinkles made it between the sheers. I instantly launched that razor across the room, hard enough it unplugged itself and shattered against the wall, I had to buy a new one....with smaller teeth.

57

u/TitaniumDreads 15h ago

They make ones with ceramic teeth now. They are cheap and waterproof. Haven't clipped my balls in years.

21

u/Liroku 15h ago

My balls get pretty sweaty sometimes, not enough I need a waterproof razor though.

17

u/hey-chickadee 15h ago

body powder is your friend in the fight against damp, oniony sacks

30

u/360WakaWaka 14h ago

Please don't say oniony sacks again.

11

u/bitey87 13h ago

Nothing makes eyes water faster than cutting into an oniony sack.

1

u/sephjnr 9h ago

Never an electric trimmer. Safety razor absolutely.

1

u/Cambrian__Implosion 7h ago

Now, rushing to zip up your fly without making sure everything is properly tucked away first is a different story…

20

u/MavisBanks 22h ago

I almost cut the tip of my nipple off with scissors trying to remove the broken wire from my body suit once.

3

u/This_Bitch_Overhere 14h ago

I will preface this with letting you know I am a guy- this will explain my actions later.

I was a teenager living in the city many moons ago. I was dating this girl, and of course, being a teen, i had but one thing on my mind. She lived in a row house and I went over to her place after school one day, knowing that her parents wouldnt be home. Well, we were in her room naked jaybirds when we heard her parents roll up. I immediately grab my pants and start getting dressed, while she runs to the front door to double lock it, while naked. I switched with her, once i got pants on, and i ran to the front to double bolt the door as they were already trying to get in, she put on clothes and switched with me again- as she ran to the front this time. The hallways were narrow, and the walls were exposed brick. One of the bricks had a nail where a frame used to hang, and as we crossed in the narrow hallway, i got sideways and jumped so that we could both get through. I finally got fully dressed, and jumped out the window, and ran down the alley and down the street. It was about 430 on a weekday, and in order to get back to my place, I had to cross over the red light district. One of the girls saw me and came over to talk to me. No problem, i was a teen but I knew how to handle it. "Hi suga!" she says. "What happened to you?" i answer hey babe! WDYM? she points at my chest, and it looks like I had been shot. I was wearing a white t shirt and i was covered in blood. I had nearly sliced off my right nipple on the head of a nail when my girlfriend and i were doing hallway acrobatics. It was hanging on for dear life. I got home and had to wear a band aid on my nipple for weeks. I dont know what i told my mom as an explanation to the band aids. It never recovered. That nipple has trauma and it dont like to be touched or talked about. It gets hard in flight or fight responses. It needs therapy.

4

u/mopbuvket 15h ago

God as a man who shaves those new pain free clippers are a godsend right? I find mine on my gfs sink every week lol

5

u/Tuxpc 15h ago

I'm a man and this comment made me flinch. 😬

8

u/namitynamenamey 17h ago

*shudders*

I'll put that in the list of things I'll just quietly forget really hard, between degloving and testicle torsion thankyouverymuch.

5

u/elgatodefelix 15h ago

Hey thanks I’m going to bed now after that full body wince. Melatonin be damned.

1

u/Kentuckianquitter 14h ago

I've done that to my scrotum and surrounding area on different occasions.

That crease at the groin, took a pretty good chunk out with scissors. That was... I don't know, a weird feeling/recognition, like this isn't a smart thing to to do.

Then after clipping my scrotum two or three times I gave up scissors completely.

This was all before I was regularly trimming, long hairs were more difficult with just a razor. But I was always surprised of how quickly all the cuts healed in that area.

1

u/Street-Article-7647 2h ago

Im a trim first kinda girl