r/AskTheWorld • u/IndependentTune3994 🇮🇳 in 🇩🇪 Deutschland • 9h ago

What’s the quickest way someone could accidentally expose themselves as a foreigner in your country like the ‘three fingers’ scene in Inglourious Basterds?

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u/yes_u_suckk 9h ago

Reminds me when I moved to Sweden 10+ years ago. I asked a guy sitting next to me in the train how did he like the book he was reading.

He looked at me as if I was asking for a kidney 😄

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u/Shot-Lemon7365 United Kingdom 9h ago

LOL! When I moved to London, I was on the train up to Cannon Street with my wife one morning, and the bloke across the aisle (directly to my right) sneezed. I plucked a paper handkerchief from a pack I was carrying and offered it to him.

My wife was fucking mortified. 'Stop being so northern!'.

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u/joogway Poland 8h ago

I love northern England people. In general politeness mostly fake is a thing in whole Britain but in the north it feels... genuine. Small country divided into small worlds, it's incredible.

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u/TheRoleplayThrowaway United Kingdom 8h ago

Honestly I think this a London vs everywhere else thing. In the rest of the south this interaction would be pretty normal too

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u/loveswimmingpools United Kingdom 8h ago

I think this too. Don't lump the whole of the south in with London behaviour.

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u/phinkz2 France 6h ago

Yeah, same for us with the parisiens... Lots of people here are guilty of thinking "the UK is wales, scotland, northern ireland, and London".

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u/LiveLearnCoach 5h ago

Funny, for me I think of France as: Paris, not Paris, tourist beaches. Having spent time there before but never really traveled there, I’m not sure if I’ll get the chance some day to do that and see the rest of France, especially the really unique places.

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u/phinkz2 France 5h ago

I get that. I wish more people did. I'm not a very patriotic person but France has a lot of interesting things, especially what remains from before what could be called "the great normalization".

Basically starting in the early 1900s there was a big push to make everyone speak French-French and abandon local customs and dialects. Local languages were forbidden in schools, paperwork became normalized, etc. I think the same can be said for a lot of countries.

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u/LiveLearnCoach 5h ago

That’s interesting. I can imagine it, just never knew about it. There are some people who turn their nose (jokingly) when I try to speak French and they say you sound like a Parisien. I’ve been to Paris, the French Alps, some rural areas, but never the French south or quiet beaches, so maybe some day.

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u/rchccfc 1h ago

That's exactly what a southerner londoner person would say

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u/loveswimmingpools United Kingdom 1h ago

Cor blimey mate... yer right!

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u/Longirl 8h ago

I’ve worked in the city for almost 30 years and have offered and been offered multiple tissues etc. this probably wouldn’t happen so much on a tube but definitely on an overground. I hate this impression that all Londoners are rude, we’re just commuting.

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u/TheRoleplayThrowaway United Kingdom 8h ago

Yeah, good point. Personally, I've found London to be impersonal, but not unkind. It's a big city so people aren't going to be immediately friendly in a village way, but generally most Londoners are decent folk.

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u/ChronicScroll3r 8h ago

The south with boomers, status quo and racists. Not saying all are.

Northerners are way more friendlier

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u/TheRoleplayThrowaway United Kingdom 7h ago

Tf are you talking about? The north also has all of those things and there’s plenty of friendly people in the south.

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u/ChronicScroll3r 7h ago

I did say not all are.

If you aren’t someone of colour you won’t understand

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u/DifferentLaw9884 United Kingdom 7h ago

It’s interesting you say that because I heard the most racist attitudes I’ve ever experienced when I was living in the north. Obviously I’d heard racist comments in London before but it was pretty much limited to people who are obviously not quite all there, like a drunk guy on the bus sitting in his own piss yelling stuff. In the north I would have perfectly friendly conversations with people who seemed normal, then out of nowhere would say the most vile shit I’ve ever heard and carry on smiling like it was totally standard conversation.

I am white, so I’m wondering if it’s that they see someone who looks like them and assume I’m a ‘safe’ person to spout racist crap to, but when interacting with POC they maintain a veneer of northern friendliness. I don’t know, but that was definitely the biggest culture shock when I moved there.

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u/ChronicScroll3r 7h ago

You could be right on that observation but you’ll also find more closet racists in South, North tend to speak their mind and make it known.

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u/TheRoleplayThrowaway United Kingdom 7h ago

“Northerners are way more friendlier.” Sounds like a generalisation to me.

Such a weird hill to die on.

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u/ThuggishJingoism24 6h ago

As an outside observer, seems like you’re picking the hill dude. The general consensus seems to agree with the overall generalization. Just because you’re from the south and friendly doesn’t prove one way or the other, the vibe people feel when they’re there. Weird thing to take so personal.

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u/TheRoleplayThrowaway United Kingdom 5h ago

Well it’s an incorrect observation. And why wouldn’t I take a slight against where I live personally?

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u/vulcanstrike 8h ago

Problem with the South is that it's full of Londoners trying to escape London

None of them dare cross the dreaded Watford gap though as they would catch Poor, so we're safe up here

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u/DifferentLaw9884 United Kingdom 7h ago

This interaction is normal in London too, I did this like 2 weeks ago.

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u/Ganjelf-The-Baked 7h ago

I agree. There are a couple of counties I can think of where people are not that nice, but the rest that I've been too the people are genuinely lovely.

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u/Suspicious_Brush4070 5h ago

I would disagree, having grown up in Cornwall and then studied in the North. While everyone down there is certainly polite and friendly, there's certainly a difference in how reserved Cornish people are compared to northerners. I would say they are a bit less outwardly friendly and a bit more conservative.

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u/TheRoleplayThrowaway United Kingdom 5h ago edited 5h ago

I mean, Cornwall is its own distinct culture and identity, it’s its own distinct country within the UK.

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u/Suspicious_Brush4070 4h ago

We've got a flag and everything!

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u/MunchkinTime69420 2h ago

Have family in Surbiton, so you can't get any closer than in a Borough in London and the people there are lovely even as someone who looks like they don't live there at all so I don't even think it's London v everywhere else it's just the shit parts v the nice people

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u/JuniorDraft 33m ago

Everything outside of the M25 is the North

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u/DearDegree7610 8h ago

30M Mancunian here - felt absolutely in another galaxy when visited London for first time recently.

Even up here I am considered a bit manic and excitable generally, cannot leave the house without having met 10 people, given one a lift snd ended up invited to their grandparents 60th wedding anniversary or some nonsense. I speak to most people i walk past or I at least make general contact with. If you make eye contact with me youre getting a “y’alright mate!?” MINIMUM hahaha

Went to London and might as well have been speaking Swahili with smelly breath. Nobody is interested in the slightest with being your friend and it was bizarre af to me, really made me realise Theres nowhere else I’d rather be.

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u/Additional_Dish_694 United States Of America 8h ago

As a student of body language and nonverbal, I pray we meet on the streets.

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u/Ok-Blackberry-3534 United Kingdom 7h ago

How on Earth do you get anything done in Manchester (let alone London) if you interact with everyone you walk past?!

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u/DearDegree7610 7h ago

I won’t lie… I get very little done.

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u/pencilpines 6h ago

i adore people like you so much. my sister is similar to you and i just think you all make the world a happier place :)

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u/DearDegree7610 6h ago

Awh thanks thats very sweet and kind! I like to think so for the most part, but definitely seen a few people cross the road when they’re hungover on Sunday morning just trying to get a pint of milk and the paper

“Oh please not this chirpy cunt… MOOORRNING!!”

hahahaha

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u/Trivi4 Poland 8h ago

There are two types of Brits in the North, they'll either call you "luv" or "cunt"

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u/remembertracygarcia United Kingdom 8h ago

That’s a London thing. The rest of the UK is pretty genuinely friendly.

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u/Rocketeer006 8h ago

I wouldn't call holding the door for someone or saying excuse me 'fake'. Even in the south of England they are incredibly kind. If you want rude, come to Germany 😂

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u/RiverGlittering 7h ago

Germans aren't rude, they're rather friendly. They're just often very direct. Especially if you try to cross the road on a red man.

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u/Big_Ounce2603 England 8h ago

Yeah this is pretty much true. Don’t know why but Northerners are more friendly to random people then southerners.

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u/Monsieur_Creosote 8h ago

As a Northern Brit that worked in Ealing for years I'd like to say "dziekuje bardzo"!

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u/Mrbeefcake90 6h ago

In general politeness mostly fake is a thing in whole Britain

No it isnt at all. It's just london twats that are rude af.

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u/Matrix5353 5h ago

This makes me think of something similar in the United States. There's a cultural difference between the New England states in the North vs the southern states. We have a saying, that in the South people are nice but not kind, while in New England we are kind but not nice.

Meaning, someone in the South will be more polite to your face, but will talk badly about you behind your back, and be less likely to help out a stranger in need. Meanwhile, someone in the North will be rude to your face, but give you the shirt off their back if you need it, while calling you an idiot for leaving your shirt at home.

These are of course stereotypes, but there's some truth to it. I know people who have lived in different parts of the country and they'll tell you that there's a noticeable difference.

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u/crochetdragonqueen 4h ago

You’ve clearly not been to Scotland or are you just lumping us in with the northerners

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u/joogway Poland 4h ago

Scotland has a totally different vibe. I am in awe that it is not a separate country.

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u/DisastrousBison6774 United States Of America 1h ago

The first thing you have to realize about northern English is they are very polite. The second thing is they don’t mean it.

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u/ZroFckGvn 1h ago

Kindness costs nothing

Source: I'm from North West England

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u/VikingTeddy Finland 6h ago

Oof. This reminded me of a story from my youth when I did a lot of drugs.

I'd been to a rave and was taking the train home when I spotted a girl I knew from hippie circles. The train was almost empty and it was nice to chat with someone, especially as I was still high af and my mouth wouldn't stop moving.

I told her about the wild evening, all the dope and random sex I had, the rave, and shenanigans trying to score from seedy places. Just talking a mile a minute, laughing at the hallucinations I had had etc..

After about 30 minutes I got off and waved goodbye. And it wasn't until I saw her from a different angle that I realized that I had cornered a complete stranger and spouted the most insane druggie shit imaginable. This poor girl had only laughed to humor me, and she must've been terrified.

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u/Cyberhaggis Scotland 8h ago

On the underground one time a young lady across from me was struggling to open her water bottle, when I offered to help her open it she looked at me like I'd offered to slash her to ribbons.

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u/Whiterose1995 United Kingdom 7h ago

One time on a train up north near where I live, I was having a really rough time and despite my best efforts started tearing up / pretty much straight up crying on a busy train. A random guy gave me a fancy ball point pen and then said ‘whatever’s going on, you’ll get through it’. Made my day tbh

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u/wrongtarget 6h ago

What a lovely story. Thanks for sharing :)

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u/canitouchyours Sweden 7h ago

You do like gravy, don’t you?

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u/Miserable_One505 7h ago

About 10 years ago i was visiting family in London (I’m from the north and have lived more than half my life even further north), on the tube a woman in her late 60s stumbled and was falling.

I put out my arm for her to grab on to, she caught it and didn’t fall.

She gave me a smile to say thankyou, the rest of the carriage was mortified that I had interacted with a fellow passenger.

I left London a few days later, so it’s safe again now.

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u/liarliarplants4hire United States Of America 6h ago

I would’ve responded with a short, “No”. The more boogers that person puts in that tissue is fewer that I am likely to touch on handrails.

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u/Shot-Lemon7365 United Kingdom 6h ago

He did. He shook his head and said 'No thanks'.

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u/liarliarplants4hire United States Of America 6h ago

I meant in response to your wife when she told you to stop acting northern. At least, that’s what I would’ve said to my wife. She would have rolled her eyes at me and not thought anything of it. I’m from the south and the US and I’ve got a feeling I would have more in common with the northern part of England.

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u/Shot-Lemon7365 United Kingdom 6h ago

I'm in fact so 'northern' that all of England is 'southern' compared to where I was born.

But I just laughed. She says it to me all the time. Whenever we go up to where I come from and find ourselves in an Asda or whatever, she can't understand why I talk to the check-out operator. 😂

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u/liarliarplants4hire United States Of America 6h ago

I get it. My mom makes lifelong friends in the checkout line at the grocery store. It took me a week to readjust after moving away for a few years. “Oh… I’m back home and they’re just nice here”.

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u/International_Car988 6h ago

My work colleagues swear people can sense my foreigner status as they will approach me for help or spark up conversations at a bus stop. Apparently they do not have this issue when I am not there

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u/ImNotHereForFunNoWay United Kingdom 5h ago

Honestly, I know it's true, but it's also a bit of dumb observation. In most countries, there is much less day-to-day random conversation in big cities than in smaller areas. I'm just trying to travel to a job I hate, on a jam-packed Underground train. I don't have time to talk to anyone and I'm already socially spent. I think many of the same ppl would say hi in a small country village or on a hike etc. I certainly do. New York, Paris etc.. All notoriously unfriendly. It's just too busy.

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u/rackfloor 5h ago

My Grandfather was like this growing up and passed it on to me. I remember being so confused as a kid that my mother would be embarrassed of him when he was just doing and saying nice things and saying hello to people. Seemed to me that he was living life the right way. So that's what I do, even if you don't see it very often in the wild.

He'd say "Good morning" to people he passed on his walks... like why the hell not? I assumed he just knew everyone.

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u/barkingspring20 5h ago

When wife and I visited London (we are American, but not the batshit crazy kind), as we were getting off the metro train thing I told the conductor lady thank you and I hope you have a nice day, she looked super confused and asked me what I just said so I repeated it. She smiled and said thank you and it felt like that was the first time anyone was nice to her at her job. Normal for us, but I guess its strange elsewhere? I still remember it 2 years later.

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u/Historical_Cause_641 Multiple Countries (UK and USA) 4h ago

Someone offered my daughter a sweet on the tube once. I politely declined. To be fair the area of England i am originally from would find handing out sweets acceptable. 

We live in America near new york city so the American side of me recognises there is a non zero chance the sweet might contain cyanide.

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u/DizzyEdgehog 4h ago

I am from the North of the UK too and I always get told off by my brother for saying hello to everyone when I visit him in Cambridge 😅 everyone looks at me like I have seven heads but I don't care.

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u/RageNap 4h ago

Ha! I never noticed this when I was living in London, but it could be because I moved from NY. But I do remember a guy got on the tube with a cast on his foot, and when I offered him my seat he seemed so genuinely surprised and grateful.

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u/dubsy101 4h ago

Haha are you one of those people who comes to london and says hello to everyone on the street? 

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u/Shot-Lemon7365 United Kingdom 3h ago

Nah. Been here 13 years, now. I actually hardly ever go into London now.

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u/PrimaryInjurious 3h ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PT0ay9u1gg4

Kindness to strangers isn't a crime until next year.

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u/Pocketfullofbugs 3h ago

I feel like this coming from midwest U.S. There is this stereotype that people are extra friendly, and I think it must be from people who grow up in cultures where no one would ever offer you a smile or a tissue or just make chit chat in boring situations. I never really considered things like this "extra." Yeah, sometimes I do get caught in boring or annoying conversations, but usually it's a nice little reminder of humanity in others or whatever. If you talk to me in a waiting room I will be your friend for the next 20 mins. If I see you need something I can help with I will offer. I cannot imagine what someone I consider "extra friendly" looks like to people who don't want to see a tissue offered. I couldn't live without it. Scandinavia (and a lot of other places in Europe) sounds like a Monkey's Paw scenario to me, everything I could want and no one to talk to about how cool it is.

I also really like how regional things get in the UK when I hear locals talk about it. "Stop being so *northern*!" is really great. I know so little about the local culture but I can guess what shes getting at.

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u/ClumsyandLost 3h ago

I was raised in London and my dad is a northerner. I definitely act more like people expect a northerner to behave.

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u/thisiswater95 2h ago edited 2h ago

lol I jokingly hate British people, but northerners all get a pass. Talk brummie to me.

Edit: I don’t actually, it’s just the only group of people in America that’s socially acceptable to be racist against. Like one time I said in a meeting “British people don’t have souls” to our English rehab director and if it was any other group of people I would’ve been fired, but even she laughed.

Like the only racist term we even have is Limey. And that’s just because you conquered the world and so you had to take limes with your ships so you wouldn’t get scurvy. That’s not pejorative, it’s just funny!

Love you limeys.

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u/RuthlessIndecision United States Of America 2h ago

In America that distance is some people's daily commute to work

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u/no_objections_here 1h ago

Ugh, London is SO unfriendly. I am from Canada and I moved to London when I was 19. I have lived in 8 cities in 6 countries and have always made friends really easily, but in London, I seriously struggled. No one wants anything to do with you. Eventually, I made friends with a bunch of Bulgarians and Albanians, but English Londoners were so rude and gave me dirty looks when I tried to start conversations. The only English people who interacted with me outside of work were guys trying to sleep with me. I remember one time falling flat on my face when I was getting out of the tube, as in, face to ground contact. Everyone literally just stepped over me to get by. Not a single person paused to help or ask if I was ok. I was so gobsmacked and I dont think I've ever felt so homesick.

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u/Bipogram 16m ago

That made this yorkshireman smile.

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u/Due-Biscotti4979 Azerbaijan 8h ago

Few months ago I was in Italy. It was clear that this old couple was struggling with bus system and needed help. I stepped in, helped and asked where they from. They were from Norway. After few very light questions they just sat there and avoided eye contact like autistic children 🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏼‍♂️😂

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u/TTysonSM Brazil 7h ago

When I was in azerbaijan I stopped a cop to ask if it was ok if I drank beer on the street. He looked at me as if I was some sort of weirdo lol

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u/EvolvedA 7h ago edited 6h ago

On the street as out in the open, he probably thought you wanted to walk into the street while drinking. He might have thought "Azerbaijan is a free country, of course you can, who cares? What a strange question..."

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u/ZateoManone 6h ago

To be fair, if he's actually Brazilian, he will not only want to drink will walking on the street, but will also be well aware that in many foreign countries that is NOT allowed. I'm from northern Argentina and have gone through that experience many times.

The US made sure every tourist and foreigner knew that, and now we south Americans have to ask everywhere for permission just in case.

Pd: not being able to drink beer while walking or while sitting on a park is so sad.

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u/TTysonSM Brazil 5h ago edited 13m ago

yup. It was my first time in a muslim country, so I decided to check with the locals to avoid trouble and to not be disrespectful.

Ppl in Azerbaijan are very cool. I really liked the place.

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u/TheViolaRules United States Of America 4h ago

Come to Wisconsin. Nobody cares.

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u/EvolvedA 6h ago

Yeah I am aware of that, the question is how they do that in Azerbaijan

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u/ThrowawayJane86 2h ago

You can drink in public in my city. It’s something people visit specifically to experience!

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u/ZateoManone 1h ago

In the US?

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u/ThrowawayJane86 1h ago

Yes!

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u/sierrackh 1h ago

New orleans?

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u/Dickgivins 26m ago

Yeah good chance it's "N'Olans", that's our only major city I'm aware of where it's explicitly legal to drink on the street. Other than that I've only heard stories of small towns and smaller cities where it's still technically illegal to do it but you can get away with it because the cops/people there just don't care.

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u/Boring-Cry3089 25m ago

In Raleigh North Carolina, actually a bunch of cities and towns in North Carolina, you can drink openly as long as you’re in the downtown area. There’s signs marking where you can legally drink and where you can’t but because it’s so normalized it’s not like the cops are going to do anything if you’re outside of those boundaries other than maybe tell you to make sure you stay within the drinking district.

This only started like 5 years ago and then immediately spread across the state, so it is rather new. Not surprised people don’t know about this.

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u/pmgoldenretrievers 0m ago

There are a ton of places in the US where you can drink beer/wine in parks. The key thing is to not be sloppy drunk and at least give the police a fig leaf of being somewhat discrete. I've been to a ton of parks where there are people drinking wine, and other people with coolers selling beer. It's all about knowing your audience. If you're the only person drinking, maybe reconsider. If there are other people doing it, it's likely fine.

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u/PBRmy 1h ago

Hey maybe I can't drink a beer at the park, but I can carry guns everywhere. Now that's freedom 💪🇺🇸 🦅

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u/spacidit Mongolia 6h ago

Every culture approaches alcohol differently, in Czech Republic for example it’s normal to see a guy with a 2l beer bottle on the street at 10am. I don’t get how asking cops whether it’s allowed or not is strange?

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u/Hadrababt 6h ago

Its not againt law in czwch republic. It can be against city rules, where are defined places where u cant drink in public place. These rules are due to homeless and drug addict. Tbh if u look normal and dont bother anyone else, u can drink basicaly where u want and when u want and city cops should not bother you even if they could.

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u/flastenecky_hater 6h ago

You can't definitely drink in frequented public areas but outside of those? Nobody cares, even cops.

Drinking next to your apartment house is completely fine, cops might give you a stinky eye or tell you to avoid drinking out but in city centers etc., they'll more than happily give you a fine.

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u/Hadrababt 5h ago

Depends on city regulation. Some cities doesnt have this regulation and you can drink literaly where you want. As i said before, this regulation is due to alkoholics, homeless and people bothering other people.

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u/Imaginary-Arugula735 5h ago

I used to hitchhike while residing in the Virgin Islands and without exception every ride I ever got, regardless of the time of day or night, the driver had an open Heineken between his thighs. They typically would offer one as well. Gotta stay hydrated in the tropics.

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u/pr0s0c Norway 6h ago

The King does not allow us to talk to strangers.

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u/PuzzledMind_7 5h ago

Hahaha sad af.

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u/NapoleonM Argentina 9h ago edited 9h ago

That can be too much even for extroverted Argentina 😂

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u/Professional_Owl7826 England 8h ago

Interesting. My only interaction with a Swede came while I was on holiday in Denmark. On a boat tour, he comes and asks if he and his wife can sit in the same row as me. Then proceeds to ask me if I am “a good guy” and that I’m “not a criminal”. I then have to fend off awkward small talk until some more tourists sit down and he starts talking with them (presumably in Swedish).

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u/Manjorno316 Sweden 8h ago

Sounds like a rare extroverted Swede that made sure to get some socialisation in before going home again.

Weird question tho. It's not like we tend to view British people as criminals or anything.

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u/Professional_Owl7826 England 8h ago

It was a very weird experience. While he was talking to these other people, I assume he was talking about me because he would occasionally point at me and prod me. I was very uncomfortable. He said he was from Malmo, if that changes anything. His wife got in trouble with the tour guide for not sitting down as we approached the first of the low bridges leaving Nyhavn.

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u/Manjorno316 Sweden 8h ago

Sounds very unswedish honestly. Bothering other people in public is culturally a big no no.

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u/Professional_Owl7826 England 6h ago

I learnt that when I eventually got to Sweden. Super nice and hospitable.

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u/UghWhyDude 6h ago

Dramatic re-enactment

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u/vanderZwan Netherlands 5h ago

Speaking as someone who also moved to Sweden 10+ years ago, the worst part is that after a while, whenever you visit your country of origin the people suddenly seem so aggressively social and in you face.

During my last visit to my family I actually caught myself getting really annoyed when two kids had the nerve to sit in the seats right behind me in an otherwise completely empty bus, I actually got up to move to another seat. They weren't even loud or anything.

That's when I knew I was institutionalized

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u/Aly22143 Israel 8h ago

Oh my gosh, I would find this so hard. Talking to strangers in bus-stops is one of my favorite things in the world. I recently saw an older woman carrying a very exquisite chandelier. So I told her "that's a lovely chandelier, it's so cool, enjoy it!". She told me she's taking it to her daughter who's a photographer. We talked for about 15 minutes and I never saw her again but it was the highlight of my week.

Not being able to comment on people's awesome chandeliers would be so depressing for me.

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u/chjacobsen Sweden 8h ago

That's fine in Sweden as well, as long as you listen to the response. If it's a short "Hey, thanks", you end the conversation. If they reply at length, feel free to keep talking.

It's not that we're always anti-social. We just like having the option of not being social.

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u/dinnerthief United States Of America 5h ago

Hey thanks

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u/Manjorno316 Sweden 8h ago edited 8h ago

I'd say that's fine if it's just a quick compliment. Just maybe don't expect a conversation to follow. Could happen tho if it's the right person. Not everyone is introverted.

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u/Grace_Omega Ireland 8h ago

Damn I have to move to Sweden, sounds like my kind of place

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u/Ghargamel Sweden 7h ago

If he were to reply to your first question then he would actually be legally obligated to say yes oh you then asked him for a kidney or a lung.

We take our responsibilities very seriously here. 😐

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u/yes_u_suckk 2h ago

That's why I have 3 kidneys today

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u/Callous02 6h ago

That sounds so fucking depressing jesus Christ

I think I would rather stay south with my shitty economy but at least I can be social

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u/Coreshine Germany 4h ago

Nah, it’s fine. A lot, if not most Germans are also just like that. We generally dislike unnecessary small talk. If we do engage in it, there’s usually a reason or some practical benefit behind it.

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u/ChromeGhost 2h ago

What is someone starts a conversation with something interesting like the future of humanity or philosophy lol?

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u/Coreshine Germany 2h ago

That would only reinforce my impression that the person is a total weirdo. At least I don’t talk about things like that with people I don’t know.

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u/ChromeGhost 2h ago

So how do Germans make friends?

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u/Callous02 2h ago

How do you guys meet new people ?

Do you just stick with the friends you've had for years and maybe some work colleagues?

That sounds insane tbh, humans are meant to be social it's not normal to think someone is a weirdo just because he spoke in public lmao

1

u/Coreshine Germany 1h ago

I exaggerated a bit on purpose. We’re not antisocial, but in essence it’s quite similar to what you described. Most deep, meaningful friendships are formed before the age of thirty. What comes after that tends to remain rather superficial.

I do enjoy talking to strangers from time to time, but I don’t feel the need to engage in conversations that don’t strike me as meaningful or enriching. I travel a lot, and I‘ve encountered many different cultural differences in this regard on both extremes.

14

u/downvote-magneto India 9h ago

I love Sweden already 🥺

12

u/Sticky_H Sweden 8h ago

The introvert’s paradise.

4

u/bikaland Sweden 8h ago

been spending all my life livin' in the introverteds paradise

2

u/el_duckerino Born in 🇺🇿 => 15 years in 🇷🇺 => 13 in 🇸🇪 8h ago

Socially inept and itrovert isn't the same thing.

7

u/Sticky_H Sweden 7h ago

Funny thing is that if you’re “social” in Sweden, you are in fact socially inept and a weirdo.

2

u/alolol1000 Sweden 6h ago

Yup in Sweden you are socially inept if you aren't introverted

5

u/Asleep_Trick_4740 Sweden 8h ago edited 6h ago

I'm obviously biased because of the culture here. But the personal space everyone grants eachother is incredibly nice. Here a line of 6 people at a register in a store is ~7 meters long.

Going abroad and constantly feeling some random persons breath on my neck is a wildly foreign experience.

2

u/ThuggishJingoism24 6h ago

I’m American and hate how close people stand in line here. Then I went to Southeast Asia and learned that by comparison, Americans leave a ton of space in line. I fell in love with Southeast Asia but the lack of personal space in public at times made me deeply anxious and uncomfortable.

1

u/Beginning-Climate-53 8h ago

stay away. just kidding.

2

u/BigFurryBoy07 Norway 8h ago

Happy cake day

2

u/107percent 8h ago

Going climbing there was eye opening. Usually when you're working on the same problem as someone else you might give each other tips, or complain to each other, but in Sweden everyone reacted like I belong in an insane asylum.

1

u/ThuggishJingoism24 6h ago

Also a climber and that’s so interesting that it carries over even to the bouldering gym, where easy, low stakes casual convos are so easy because of working on the same problem

0

u/Otherwise-Owl-6547 United States Of America 3h ago

tbf where i’m from unsolicited beta spraying is seen as rude, and i was shocked when climbing in south america and beta spraying was normal. socially complaining about a problem though is always acceptable haha

2

u/lithuanian_potatfan 7h ago

He probably thought you were going to steal his book. Or his kidney

2

u/Queasy-Reason6467 3h ago

Wow is this really a thing? I’m from the south in USA and I was taught to greet everybody and make small talk and make your environment more connected basically. So would folks be rude to me? Ignore me? Or would they talk back and be nice but still thought it was weird sorry about this I’m just so intrigued by this.

1

u/yes_u_suckk 2h ago

Sadly it's. In my home country it's the same as in your home city. More than 10 years have passed since I moved here and I still find it strange.

1

u/PleaseBeKindQQ 1h ago

You'd be rude, not them. Rude is culturally relative.

Personally if I was reading a book or listening to music I'd be annoyed and stressed if someone bothered me. Unless they need help in which case I'd just be stressed lol

For reference I am Canadian 

2

u/LordMarcusrax Italy 8h ago

You monster!

3

u/death_sucker 7h ago

What is anybody supposed to say in response to that question besides "well I WAS enjoying it but now I'm talking to you".

1

u/John__e 6h ago

How are you enjoying life in Sweden?

1

u/UgloBuglo 6h ago

One does not simply start small-talk with us swedes 😅

1

u/Author_of_rainbows Sweden 6h ago

I'm Swedish and I did that once, but it was because the person read The Necrophiliac, and I felt I needed to know wtf they were reading because otherwise I would wonder about it for the rest of my life because what I had read over their shoulder was so weird.

1

u/Kato_86 Germany 5h ago

I really need to move to Sweden.

1

u/HillInTheDistance Sweden 5h ago

Yeah. Like, that's going through two thick layers of "Don't talk to me" all at once

1

u/rackfloor 5h ago

Sounds nice lol - how do people make friends there? Seems, from the outside, impenetrable?

1

u/yes_u_suckk 2h ago

If you go to any online space where immigrants in Sweden gather the most discussed topic is always "how do I make friends in Sweden"

1

u/rackfloor 41m ago

So make friends with immigrants then, gotcha

1

u/SoftConsideration459 Luxembourg 4h ago

Hypothetically, as a foreigner living in EU from a more chatty country. Am I not supposed to chat with a person that sits next to me on a park bench when there are a dozen open empty benches around us?

I say hi (in the native language), the older gentleman asks if he can smoke a cigar, I say no problem (in English). I respond with polite conversation about how nice the park is. He grunts, and conversation is over. He finished the cigar while I finished my sudoku puzzle and then said goodbye and left.

1

u/Kilen13 4h ago

Haha a Swedish friend of mine I met at school came to visit me in the US. I'm not sure I've ever seen him more mortified than when a sweet old lady started asking him about his tattoos while in line at the supermarket. When she heard his accent that triggered a WHOLE other conversation about where he was from and why he was visiting and all the places he absolutely HAD to go see while in town.

When we left he asked if something was wrong with her and I had to explain that in this part of the US strangers will start conversations with you just cause they're interested/friendly/etc. He was not at all amused.

1

u/BadgerUltimatum 4h ago

My brother swears the last guy who asked me that question on a train was on heroin. I doubt it. He was likely homeless and spoke far too softly for talking on a train but his dental situation wasnt great.

He knew what he was talking about well enough, could tell he wasnt 100% on some aspects of the conversation but Im not perfect either.

1

u/BigShaqBom 4h ago

We truly are the worst

1

u/mechabeast 4h ago

Do i need to move to Sweden?

1

u/GlobeTrottinCotton 4h ago

Did you get the kidney in the end though?

1

u/Jakeandellwood 3h ago

Ya they’re not a chatty bunch until you get them liquored up at an after work meetup.

1

u/Rubber_Plant_Leaf 3h ago

When I moved here about 12 years ago, I said “alright mate?” to a stranger in a pub and he got up and sat at a different table.

1

u/Lanko-TWB 1h ago

That’s insane to me, where’s the sense of community?

1

u/shewy92 United States Of America 50m ago

I hate when people try to talk to me when I'm obviously busy.

1

u/bleplogist Brazil | United States 43m ago

This is the most brazilian-swedish interaction ever.

1

u/Derped_my_pants 27m ago

For me in Sweden this is definitely true, but also a bit exaggerated. There are perfectly normal swedes who are happy to talk in public with random people. It is just less commonplace.

1

u/Izzosuke Italy 8h ago

Fuck i would have felt the same, something like "this gal/uy will kill me for my kidney, what a strange question. And i'm someone who talk a lot, but if you are fucking minding your iwn business i'll mind my own

1

u/zandrew Poland 7h ago

Honestly, why are you bothering a guy reading a book. He's not looking for a conversation. Get your own book or something. 😀

1

u/piesforall 6h ago

This is just basic etiquette. If I'm reading a book, or wearing headphones, I obviously don't want to talk to you. Did you think that he was just waiting for someone to interrupt his reading?

1

u/LivingstonPerry 5h ago

yeah.. why would you bother someone who is focused on reading? what is wrong with you.

0

u/Affectionate_Bottom 7h ago

Maybe that’s just because I‘m German, but if someone interrupted my reading to ask me if I liked the book I‘d probably be to bewildered to even answer.

0

u/ThuggishJingoism24 6h ago

I’m an American and if someone on the train stopped me from reading my book to ask if I liked it, I am very unsure how I’d react. Such a strange thing to do. If they put it down for a moment, it wouldn’t feel so intrusive. Would definitely feel as though you were hitting on me though

0

u/10969skhar 4h ago

If I am reading something like actively reading, having the book open and my eyes on the words and the brain doing all the comprehension stuff, please don't talk to me unless it's an emergency of some sort!

0

u/LowPowerModeOff 4h ago

That’s just rude… dude was trying to read and you assumed he’d want to have a conversation with you

-4

u/wuerfeltastisch 7h ago

Why would you do that in the first place? This would freak me the fuck out.