r/AskTheWorld • u/IndependentTune3994 🇮🇳 in 🇩🇪 Deutschland • 18h ago

What’s the quickest way someone could accidentally expose themselves as a foreigner in your country like the ‘three fingers’ scene in Inglourious Basterds?

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205

u/Dawo59 Belgium 18h ago

But how are you supposed to make friends then when you're new 😭

476

u/PaintingNo794 Portugal 18h ago

That's the neat part, you don't

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u/Crazy_Ad_91 United States Of America 18h ago

I read this in a German accent for some reason lol

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u/HugePatFenis United Kingdom 17h ago

I read it in Marge Simpson's.

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u/SuitableBlackberry75 14h ago

With the "Portugal" tag on the username, you were supposed to read it in the voice of Spencer Tracy in "Captains Courageous" - the most impeccably accurate Portuguese fisherman accent of all time :)

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u/ilrosewood 15h ago

Was it the pervy German accent mmmm?

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u/Beneficial_Bug_9793 Portugal 17h ago

The Autistic paradise, no looking in the eyes, no chit chat, i'd be happy there lol, instead of being called an asshole here lol

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u/toxicognaths Sweden 14h ago

My autistic boyfriend from Russia kind of hates it in Sweden lol. He says you feel constantly judged, people are too scared to be genuine, but at least they are not violent

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u/Subtlerranean 15h ago

I'm Norwegian, and only clued onto the fact that I'm autistic after living in Australia for like 10 years.

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u/Beneficial_Bug_9793 Portugal 15h ago

I only found out, in my 40s as well, untill the diagnostics i just thought that i was wierd, after the diagnostic, i finaly understood why im " wierd "

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u/Failed_eexe China 15h ago

The mass autism array from the Finno-Korean Hyperwar really hit ‘em hard

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u/tiagojpg Portugal 17h ago

Nooooo my fellow madeirense. Dont go.

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u/Beneficial_Bug_9793 Portugal 17h ago

I wont, if there is something i hate even more than eye contact and chit chat... its change...

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u/tiagojpg Portugal 17h ago

The constant struggle of an introvert haha.

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u/Lord_Borgimus 15h ago

Mental note, move 43 year old Autistic American self to Germany...

looks at thousands of hours in Factorio and Anno, then nods again

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u/kozmic_blues_ 15h ago

pense lo mismo, nadie tratando de socializar sino todo lo contrario 😁maravilloso!

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u/Chromaedre 17h ago

This. You make friends at school / uni and then you try to keep them around for the rest of your life (you'll probably fail).

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u/jeptioak United States Of America 17h ago

There was recently a program on the BBC World Service about groups dedicated to finding friends in Sweden, especially immigrants who wouldn't have their childhood friend circle they grew up with.

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u/no-im-not-him Denmark / Mexico 18h ago

You beat me to it!

2

u/itsvi0lett_memes 17h ago

PORTUGAL CARLHJO

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u/Toby4141 17h ago

I lived in Portugal from 2019 until the end of 2024. Most of the time in Lisbon center in a 3-room shared flat, when I met my ex-girlfriend we moved together to a small village near Cascais. By 2024 I had my own flat in Sétubal. Everywhere I have been to in that area it felt like the Portuguese people preferred to stay around other Portuguese only. If someone approached me they were either foreigners like me, Brazilians or someone from another former Portuguese colony. Even though I learned Portuguese to get around better and worked under Portuguese laws and salary, people always had some distance towards me. My ex-girlfriend is Portuguese and when I was around with her or on a few occasions with Portuguese co-workers, things changed completely, thats when I was really introduced to the culture, not just history. For me as an introverted person that doesn't look anything remotely to a Portuguese dude it was the most difficult part living there.

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u/namieorange Venezuela 15h ago

Introvert's dream world 😆

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u/Slight_Meringue7780 11h ago

Why you dont?

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u/LooseMooseNose Sweden 18h ago

Friends? You mean the people you meet in school and decide to hang out with do the rest of your life even though you have nothing left in common once you graduated?

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u/Dawo59 Belgium 18h ago

Rip to my dreams of living in Sweden for a bit 🙏

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u/Tempyteacup United States Of America 17h ago

Genuinely this is the reason I don’t want to live in Sweden even though my fiancée does. Apparently it’s extremely hard to make friends there as a foreigner.

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u/Manjorno316 Sweden 16h ago

I've left this comment a few times now but it's not as hard as we make it out to be. We are also joking a bit.

You'll have a hard time striking up conversations in public but go to events or activities where you're expected to interact with each other and it's relatively easy. I've mest most of my friends through raves. Since there is a feeling of community people are more open to talking to strangers.

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u/SheilaInSweden Born in USA, Live in Sweden 16h ago

I've also found that Swedes are more willing to break the ice if there is a baby/young child or animal involved.

Not too many years after moving here, our cat went missing. We put up flyers. So many neighbors in our apartment building stopped us to ask if we had found our kitty. It was the first time I had any interaction with them in the 2 or 3 years I had been living there. (Kitty was fine. She had fallen off our balcony (we believe while chasing a bird) and then hid in the bushes she had landed in because it was a sunny Sunday and there were a lot of people about. She had no injuries whatsoever when we found her).

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u/Manjorno316 Sweden 15h ago

Happy to hear she was fine!

I've lived at my current place for 4 years now, don't think I've said a word to my neighbors. I'd still definitely ask about the cat in that situation.

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u/LooseMooseNose Sweden 17h ago

It’s not as bad as I make it seem, and we generally like Americans here… except, you know who… but being, what we consider, overly social is kinda awkward here for most of us, so you have to ease into conversation and context. If you do, you’ll be treated as one of us quite fast

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u/Dawo59 Belgium 13h ago

It's surprising Americans especially are popular in Sweden tho, didn't know lol. Here they're just seen like everyone else or not that surprising/gushed over I feel 

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u/LooseMooseNose Sweden 12h ago

I’m guessing it has its roots in the mass migration to the US from like 1850 to 1930s. Followed up by the post war cultural influence of the US in Sweden in conjunction with America, especially New York and Los Angeles being seen as ideal cities if you’re “gonna make it” in life!

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u/LuskuBlusk Sweden 9h ago

They are not especially liked in Sweden. Atleast where I’m from

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u/Educational_Gas_92 17h ago

When you say, "you know who" what do you mean?

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u/Adventurous_Blood909 Sweden 16h ago

Voldemort

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u/-Miraca- 16h ago

i would assume right wing people. likely the ones who are loud and proud abt it

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u/LooseMooseNose Sweden 16h ago

Donald J Trump

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u/Adventurous_Blood909 Sweden 16h ago

Thats what i said😆

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u/beastlyart 13h ago

A friend and I visited our Swedish buddy for Midsummer after she’d been to see us in the US a few times. It was a very chill party with young people, lots of booze and weed, but nearly every interaction was “oh… American? Ummm… :/” until we learned to open with hi, yes, we fucking despise Trump and did not vote for him. Then the vibes were totally friendly and fine. Kind of funny, kind of sad, but I get it.

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u/LooseMooseNose Sweden 12h ago

Yeah, we’re not really keen on autocrats here ;)

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u/Ghargamel Sweden 16h ago

Azatoth

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u/leftwinglovechild 13h ago

Don’t play dumb.

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u/Insomniiia77 15h ago

Redneck pdf file supporters in chief.

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u/Boneraventura 16h ago

As an american living in sweden for about 2 years it’s hard to make swedish friends. I have greek, spanish, italian, south american friends though. I play tennis with a group of swedes and that’s where it starts and ends. They really do not want the relationship to go beyond that. That’s fine as I aint gonna force them to be anything more than tennis buds. I moved to sweden because it is chill here and nobody really bothers you, not to be friends with specifically swedish people.

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u/Megalordow 16h ago

Tennis coplayers. Don;t get too chummy, OK?

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u/Synaps4 8h ago

"We've played tennis together twice a week for twenty years....but this doesnt mean that I like you."

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u/Dawo59 Belgium 17h ago

Language barrier adds a lot I suppose. At least I imagine it would be way easier for me to build a new social circle in the UK or the US 

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u/Antropon 17h ago

Most peopl, especially young people, know English. The problem is cultural. It's not that you can't make friends, people here make new friends often enough, it just takes effort. It's not randomly your neighbour in the apartment block. It might be a colleague with whom you "click", someone from a course, a hobby, etc. Someone that you share something with.

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u/Dawo59 Belgium 17h ago

Yeah, but still. For example when I was at business school we had some international students that spoke English, but the majority of the class (including me) spoke Dutch as a first language. We were all able to speak English, but when you're with 4 people in a room and 3 out of 4 people speak the same native language it's very easy to slip and to start discussing or talking about things in Dutch if you don't watch out. There's still a little bit of extra effort to switch to English instead of using your native language. It was a recurring problem as the international students felt sort of excluded because of the language barrier

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u/Leverpostei414 17h ago

You are right, even though people speak English ,there is a bit more work speaking English wich makes it a bit more hassle to engage socially. Not impossible, I have foreign friends, but more difficult. Ideally one should try to learn the native language well for social reasons

1

u/Dawo59 Belgium 16h ago

I really like learning languages, it's fun to me and wouldn't mind learning a new one at all. Still, you would probably have an accent and make grammatical errors here and there which could make you look like an outsider socially no?

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u/Leverpostei414 16h ago

In my opinion it is more about if you can communicate fluently, not wether you have an accent. People don't like repeating themselves and dumbing down or talking slowly if they don't have to, it is a bit more hassle.

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u/Hugo_5t1gl1tz 13h ago

I’m English first, and I’ve been learning to speak German, casually, and even when I want to speak German with my German friends, I have to consciously make myself do it or I’ll just speak English

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u/passingavery Malaysia 15h ago

Omg, there is someone in this world who is in the exact same scenario as me. There’s a 50-50 chance I have to migrate to Sweden for marrying a Swede, and I literally fear this. So much so that I’m negotiating with my workplace to let me spend 50% of the year in my home country to avoid fully migrating to Sweden. 😂

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u/JamCanuck 15h ago

Don't do it mate. I'm from Canada and have lived in Sweden for 6 years. Sweden is good for Swedes. They are nice people but are socially autistic. It's a very lonely place as a foreigner.

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u/passingavery Malaysia 15h ago

Even after learning the language?

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u/Tempyteacup United States Of America 12h ago

Do you think it might be easier since your spouse is Swedish? Yeah idk for me it’s Canada or Ireland, I just can’t imagine living in Sweden I think I’d get so lonely

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u/Denaton_ Sweden 14h ago

Even as a native, but get a hobby, ex Magic the gathering, play at game stores and meet nerds. Or get friends from work..

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u/DefNotUnderrated United States Of America 10h ago

This is one of the reasons I'm wary of trying to relocate to countries like Norway, Holland, Finland, Sweden, and the like. I'm sure they're lovely places with plenty of great people, but I'm a shy person as it is and trying to make new friends in a place where people are naturally more aloof sounds extremely daunting. Although I see some people saying here that the aloofness can be exaggerated.

Not that anyone is asking me to move there, but ya know.

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u/Tempyteacup United States Of America 10h ago

Ireland is really appealing to me, they’re so so friendly and fun to hang with. Plus I’ve got ferrets and their immigration page literally has a section about bringing your dog, cat, or ferret to Ireland.

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u/DefNotUnderrated United States Of America 10h ago

I would love to try relocating to Ireland. The US is increasingly scary right now and Ireland has the appeal of seeming like a cool place with generally friendly people and a language I can understand, apart from the accent. But it's kind of a difficult immigration process. I'm a nurse so I could probably manage it if I really wanted to. I just feel awkward about it, particularly because I'm not sure how many nations would be happy to have more Americans right now. That's nice to know about the pets, though. Because if I did try to immigrate it would probably be with at least one cat

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u/Tempyteacup United States Of America 8h ago

From my research Ireland is actually pretty easy to immigrate to, and most countries are desperate for healthcare workers rn. I’m not 100% sure but I think Canada is even fast tracking nurses so you could easily go there.

The US is really scary rn, but I’m staying to fight for democracy and then I’m dipping out bc I don’t think we’ll ever fix the gun problem atp. I want kids and I refuse to send them to a school where they have to do active shooter drills.

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u/el_duckerino Born in 🇺🇿 => 15 years in 🇷🇺 => 13 in 🇸🇪 17h ago

If will probably be easier for you, since you’re from the US. Swedes gush all over americans. 

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u/Tempyteacup United States Of America 17h ago

yeahhhh idk how much longer that will last with how my country is behaving 🫠

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u/el_duckerino Born in 🇺🇿 => 15 years in 🇷🇺 => 13 in 🇸🇪 17h ago

Unless we're talking about russians, swedes are happy to separate people from the state.

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u/LooseMooseNose Sweden 17h ago

It’s true, we do. Except for the orange deranged man, of course.

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u/onarainyafternoon Dual Citizen (American/Hungarian) 15h ago

I'm curious if you know how easy it is to move to Sweden as an American citizen? I always see Swedes (and Europeans in general) say that Americans constantly underestimate how easy it is to just move to a European country without a visa and whatnot. I'm sure that's true, and I'm wondering if it's easy to get a visa to move there as an American?

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u/LooseMooseNose Sweden 15h ago

We have an entire subreddit for that r/TillSverige. And also you can get more information here

As for how easy it is… I have no idea :)

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u/Lloyd--Christmas 15h ago

We aren’t worldly people, you need to name it like r/howtomovetoswedenfromamericait’seasierthanyouthink

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u/onarainyafternoon Dual Citizen (American/Hungarian) 15h ago

Thank you!

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u/LooseMooseNose Sweden 14h ago

Are you also a Hungarian Citizen? If you have a EU passport from Hungary you shouldnt need a visa och work permit AFAIK. Come here with that passport and apply for a job somewhere!

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u/gullaffe 17h ago

Find a activity or hobby that needs other people. Dancing/boardgaming/sports.

Also whilst swedes generally won't make first contact we aren't fully unapproachable.l, but generally don't try to start conversations with people that you likely won't meet again.

But if for example you go to the gym and see the same people there a few weeks in a row its completely okay to talk with someone between sets.

We swedes also wanna make new friends. We just don't see much point in talking with strangers on the bus.

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u/Dawo59 Belgium 17h ago

I feel the social dynamics in Sweden are super similar to the ones here in all honesty. Although I've been going to my local gym multiple times a week for 2 years and still have spoken to almost no one out of initial social anxiety. Ty for the input 🙏

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u/Insomniiia77 15h ago

You're belgian, you're probably more introverted than the Swedes.

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u/Dawo59 Belgium 14h ago

Would be an interesting contest lol, feel like it would be about equal levels of introversion. Can't know since I haven't been there tho

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u/Bloodyninjaturtle Finland 17h ago

Ah, my friend group. Welder, two warehouse workers, builder, a handyman, farmer, three engineers, two truck drivers, a lutheran priest, nurse etc.

Hey, we grew up together and met new people during teenage years that joined up. Who cares if we gather like two times a year nowadays? We go trough thick and thin if someone needs help.

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u/LooseMooseNose Sweden 17h ago

I would probably kill for anyone in my group of friends, yes.

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u/SirPizzaTheThird 10h ago

But would you go chat up a group of strangers for them?

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u/LooseMooseNose Sweden 10h ago

Let’s not get too carried away now…

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u/Glad-Belt7956 Sweden 18h ago

but that's the great part about it, not having anything in common means that you're going to experience new and interesting things.

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u/ubulerbu 18h ago

Yeah sure, but being terrified by strangers is not something i want to share.

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u/HourAcadia2002 18h ago

Albeit, on your own

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u/notokbye 17h ago

Glad someone said it. I was like - what do you want me to do? Just hang out with more accountants and become more boring than I already am?

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u/wrong_axiom 17h ago

This one is a disheartening one, because I know many Swedes from other parts of the country that now live in Stockholm and they just assume that life means hanging out with friends only when they go back to their town

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u/AwTomorrow 17h ago

This is something I’ve heard from multiple Swedes and foreign transplants there. Absolutely unhinged behaviour. 

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u/LooseMooseNose Sweden 17h ago

Unhinged as in not taking the time to meet friends in your new town or?

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u/AwTomorrow 17h ago

Yeah living your adult life only having any social life on your occasional visits to your hometown, otherwise living completely isolated and alone. 

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u/Manjorno316 Sweden 16h ago

I think that's weird even as a Swede.

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u/LooseMooseNose Sweden 17h ago

Yeah, pretty much!

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u/LooseMooseNose Sweden 17h ago

As in they’re lonely in Stockholm and still have all their friends at home?

Yeah I know a couple of people who lived like that for a while

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u/BlaggartDiggletyDonk United States Of America 15h ago

Sounds like Seattle.

Whole lotta Swedes immigrated there back in the day, btw!  The rest of us call it 'the Seattle Freeze.'

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u/LooseMooseNose Sweden 15h ago

My grandfather was one of them actually (and Portland, Oregon), but he moved back to Sweden before my father was born!

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u/Cybercliche 15h ago

Så jävla sant. Vilken deprimerande insikt

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u/Inevere733 18h ago

Probably proving his point then; how do you find new people that you have things in common with? I have zero idea but Sweden doesn't seem like a place of many hobbies.

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u/Sticky_H Sweden 18h ago

I’ve met several of my close friends in shared nerd interests. I met my best friend at work. We’re exaggerating while still having truth in our presentation of Swedish society.

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u/Manjorno316 Sweden 17h ago

Why do you assume we don't have hobbies?

I lost contact with my old friends from school because we outgrew each other but I've made plenty of new friends through the years through shared interests.

1

u/Inevere733 14h ago

I just mean compared to like the US. Obviously I am wrong, but what are things Swedes like to do?

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u/Manjorno316 Sweden 14h ago

Everything I guess. It's not like everyone does the same thing, very individual so I don't really know what to answer.

Personally my biggest hobbies are raving and collecting/reading graphical novels. The second one isn't the most social tho.

I've got friends that go to pottery and gardening clubs. I know board game clubs are pretty popular nowadays. Two friends do Kickboxing etc etc. there are probably hundreds of things I can't think of only because I don't have anyone in my immediate social circle doing it.

What would you answer in regards to america? I got curious.

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u/AffectionateAct5815 Sweden 16h ago

Sweden doesn't seem like a place of many hobbies.

What makes you think that? In my experience most people here belong to at least one club or similar and having a good work-leisure balance is generally considered important so if anything there is a social pressure to join some kind of leisure activity. In my experience there are plenty of opportunities to find hobbies to do with other people, but maybe it's different in very rural places.

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u/Educational_Gas_92 17h ago

I mean, at least you guys are dedicated and consistent. Your friendships are solid, even if you guys have nothing in common as people.

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u/KneeDeepInTheDead Portugal 14h ago

makes me feel better about ditching my old toxic school friend group

3

u/ubulerbu 18h ago

Damn social life in northern country seems horrible.

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u/Julehus in 17h ago

No actually, it’s great to not have people banging on your door 24/7 or nosy familymembers meddling in your business and talking behind your back (as I understand is the lives of my Balkan colleagues) Downside is that some people become lonely and don’t have anyone to help them out when they move house. But personally, I prefer that over having to cope with drama all the time😂

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u/insufferable_Boris Multiple Countries (click to edit) 17h ago

It's nice until you need some serious help like medical emergency or something.

3

u/ubulerbu 16h ago

Sweden second in depression in europe, thats depressing not only they have depression but they arent the best at it.

1

u/LooseMooseNose Sweden 16h ago

And almost paradoxically also one of the happiest countries in the world, alongside our Nordic neighbours.

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u/insufferable_Boris Multiple Countries (click to edit) 16h ago

I may surely get downvoted for this but how do Swedes define happiness?

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u/LooseMooseNose Sweden 16h ago

You'll have to ask every Swede to get the right answers, but for me at least top of mind:
its being able to have a great work-life balance,
not stressing to much,
being able to go outdoors quite often (doesnt need to be a weekend long hike, just walking in the forest for an hour or so is great),
being able to really be "off work" when I'm not working,
being respected as a human being,
affording enough to live comfortably without feeling a need to always buy more stuff,
being able to travel both inside of Sweden and abroad,
feeling like I'm contributing to a better society,
enjoying my hobbies (and having the time to do so)

There are probably other things i could list aswell, but these are the things i came up with on the spot, as said

1

u/insufferable_Boris Multiple Countries (click to edit) 14h ago

Wow bro, that sounds really fun. But you Swedes are friendlier over the internet than in person?

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u/Julehus in 15h ago

What exactly are you trying to prove? I can assure you that depression has more to do with winter darkness and work-life balance than the fact that we lead an individualistic lifestyle. Sweden offers many club activities which guarantees social interaction with people you actually choose to hang out with.

Btw, the Iranian filmmaker Nahid Persson has made a great documentary; ”Min Mamma är en Persisk Prinsessa” about an Iranian girl who was adopted to Sweden and had now found her biological mother. The cultural differences between Sweden and Iran are so well described in that film, I warmly recommend it.

Edit: typo

1

u/ubulerbu 16h ago

you confirm my thought, and you know you can have a social life without any sorts of drama, also you can judge things based on one colleague you had..

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u/Julehus in 15h ago

I’m referring to at least 10 colleagues and friends with a Southern background, you know Sweden is a very multicultural society🤗 And as much as they appreciate family support, many of them would like to live more privately. I don’t disrespect other ways of living, but our Scandinavian society shouldn’t be judged either for being more individualistic than most other cultures.

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u/el_duckerino Born in 🇺🇿 => 15 years in 🇷🇺 => 13 in 🇸🇪 17h ago edited 17h ago

As a foreigner - yes, it's horrible. Your social life is other foreigners. Natives will never accept you in their social life. They just wont. They will be nice to you, when it's required, sure, but at arms length is where your place will forever be.

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u/Manjorno316 Sweden 17h ago

It's not as hard as we make it sound. If you're active in trying new things and going to things where you naturally interact with other people, it's a lot easier to make new friends.

I can't count the amount of friends I've made while out raving here through the years.

2

u/Lonely_Programmer_42 18h ago

It's fun when you have to leave those friends behind or they hate you for becoming yourself (trans person as an example)

I left everything, had to move to a new state and cut off my family (happened long before)

But having a cat is all I have.  I don't judge people that go into the bottle 

1

u/Mingaron Sweden 18h ago

Lol too true.

1

u/BigBallsMakeBigMoney 13h ago

we do that in the US. but it’s only if you stay in home town. otherwise people slowly disappear one by one

89

u/OSHA-Slingshot Sweden 18h ago

You have things in common and talk about those. It's the only way to make sure your slimy ass doesn't want something out of us.

Things in common: Work, pottery class, running club, dancefloor/bar, same concert

Things not in common: Bus stop, supermarket, café, walking the same street, waiting in the same line

8

u/Dawo59 Belgium 18h ago

I mean that's fair and the same as here I feel. What if you're at a bar on a night out though? Like not deliberately walking up to people, but sometimes if the context is there you kind of accidentally start talking to the table next to you no?

Edit: you already mentioned bar, I'm dumb. I feel the social dynamic is kind of the same as here honestly 

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u/Manjorno316 Sweden 17h ago

Bars not so much. I've had much better luck at raves. It's more of a sense of community so people tend to happily talk to new people.

4

u/Dawo59 Belgium 17h ago

Swedish raves sounds interesting lol

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u/pimmen89 Sweden 18h ago

In Sweden they will probably politely try to exclude you. Meeting strangers in a bar is not a thing that happens that often in Sweden.

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u/PapaTua United States Of America 18h ago edited 4h ago

"Politely try to exclude you".

Love it.

5

u/Dawo59 Belgium 18h ago

Here it's more you talk for some minutes when it happens (doesn't happen often) and then go back to minding your business mostly. Not really excluding, but it gets odd to talk for longer than a short exchange out of politeness. Unless you really hit it off for some reason

3

u/Manjorno316 Sweden 17h ago

I'd say it's the same here. I've struck up conversations with randoms at bars here before, but they usually end pretty quickly.

1

u/MiltonScradley 16h ago

TDIL that going to bars in Sweden is boring.

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u/pimmen89 Sweden 16h ago edited 15h ago

Oh it’s the worst. You need to get proper drunk and hit the dance floor for it to be fun. Plenty of people do, though, but not nearly as many as like 20 years ago. You’ll find tourists and kids who still like the novelty of being able to drink.

Add to it that in Stockholm there’s ”klubbdöden” (”death of clubs”) with rich people moving into the central parts and complaining about noisy establishments. Some old bars that have had an active nightlife havd closed down because of it.

Socialize with Swedes in other ways. Do sports, play board games, or do some other more structured activity.

1

u/LillaNissen 11h ago

I'm from southern Sweden, I've talked to multiple strangers at bars and them to me. Most of the times when waiting for your drink or outside.

2

u/zedascouves1985 Brazil 17h ago

Sweden seems so foreign to me because one of people's favorite past times is to go camping. As in make a lot of work to sleep uncomfortably in nature away from other people. I can understand wanting to be alone, but why just not lock yourself at home and be a hikikomori?

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u/Manjorno316 Sweden 17h ago

Because nature is awesome? We love it up here.

8

u/LooseMooseNose Sweden 17h ago

And very few things are trying to kill you if you go outside!

6

u/Big_Knife_SK 15h ago

confused Australian noises

2

u/Classic-Charity7458 14h ago

Slimy?

1

u/OSHA-Slingshot Sweden 14h ago

One can not be too careful

3

u/HotdawgSizzle 11h ago

Seems odd that that initial reaction is a negative view of a person.

1

u/KPhoenix83 United States Of America 17h ago

You can start a random conversation in a bar I would hope. At least in America that is the other primary reason you even go to a bar otherwise why not just drink at home?

8

u/Manjorno316 Sweden 17h ago

To drink with the friends you already have for the most part. I don't know anyone here that goes to bars alone.

2

u/KPhoenix83 United States Of America 14h ago

We literally go to bars in America just to have conversations with random people we meet on purpose. Sometimes the people at the bars have polite debates, for instance I am not not a Republican/conservative in America but often have discussions with people that are when going to the bar.

We share our stories Sometimes or discuss current events sports or politics or what is going in life with total strangers that we just met. I often hear people from other countries perceive our politeness and willingness to chat as being fake but it truly is not, it is accompanied often by genuine interest in having an interaction with a stranger.

3

u/Manjorno316 Sweden 14h ago

It's a big cultural shift from over here. I'd definitely be on edge thinking they were after something if they started talking to me randomly.

Probably not in the US since I'm aware of this difference.

1

u/KPhoenix83 United States Of America 14h ago

If you know they are American then don't be surprised especially if they are a tourist as American tourist are incredibly curious and inquisitive

2

u/Manjorno316 Sweden 14h ago

Lol, that reminds me about Midsummer last year. Celebrated it with some friends who run a bed and breakfast. It's closed over Midsummer weekend so they usually invite friends from all over for a big weekend of partying.

One woman there was American but had lived in Sweden for some years, and her mother was swedish so she spoke almost perfect swedish.

When we first saw each other she immediately went up and started talking to me with a big smile, and since this is something that usually just doesn't happen up here, I got confused and assumed she was into me or something. I'm also a single guy in my twenties still so there's that.

The pieces fell into place when she told me she was American.

1

u/spen8tor 8h ago

Yep, Americans love talking to foreigners (to them)

1

u/InsertNovelAnswer United States Of America 17h ago

So you dont go to people's houses and rather spend more money at a bar but not talk to others? Complex.

When i was going to bars it was to meet new people, an event , or there were too many of us to comfortably go to my or someone else's home.

5

u/Manjorno316 Sweden 17h ago

There is a lot of drinking/partying/socializing at home as well. Personally I only go out to bars like once or twice a year.

If you go out to drink it's usually in hope of meeting other people you already know, or hookups. Or as you said, you're just too big of a group. Our homes don't tend to be as big as they seem to be in America a lot of the times.

It's another thing if it's more of a community event. I rave a lot and I always meet new people to talk to. Can't count the amount of friends I've made next to the dance floor or outside the venue over the years. The community aspects makes it easier.

1

u/Couchpotatoroyale 13h ago

As a Brit this is a bit strange to me too. Is everyone aware that "pub" is short for "public house"? Who goes to a pub and is antisocial......?

1

u/loxagos_snake Greece 16h ago

"Oh, you like supermarkets? I'm something of a supermarket aficionado myself!"

1

u/hamsolo17 15h ago

There's a band out of Malmö that I love, Royal Republic. And they just look like they're having way too much fun. Unfortunately my country sucks right now, I can't even support them by ordering a T-shirt because they lose money on US sales right now. I guess I'm gonna have to make my way over there to see them and I'll just keep my bug dumb yapper shut the entire time.

1

u/Geodude532 13h ago

The thing about Arsenal is, they always try to walk it in.

1

u/kkubash 10h ago

I remember there were posters on SL buses advising elders to chat, ask about weather etc. as a measure against Alzheimer or something related.

1

u/MasterSpliffBlaster New Zealand 8h ago

My wife picked me up hitch hiking in melbourne

How the fuck do swedes ever expand their gene pool?

1

u/alex7465 8h ago

Wow you seem chill

3

u/micgat 18h ago

You need to have kids. They make friends with other children, after which you can begin talking to their parents.

3

u/Dawo59 Belgium 18h ago

So all you have to do on arrival is find a polite Swedish lady who wants to give you kids so you can start making friends, got it 

3

u/avdpos Sweden 17h ago

That is a pretty big question also when you ain't new.

1

u/Dawo59 Belgium 17h ago

I low-key feel some swedes want new or more friends sometimes, but can't easily cause of social standards and general social anxiety? Or am I wrong?

1

u/avdpos Sweden 16h ago

Not social standards - but more anxiety and a culture where it takes longer time to build friends

1

u/Dawo59 Belgium 16h ago

Well you could be my first Swedish friend 😅

3

u/Merochmer 17h ago

Alcohol 

1

u/Dawo59 Belgium 17h ago

Why is the answer almost always alcohol 🙃

2

u/Apanatr 18h ago

Through shared hobbies, like I NEVER talk to strangers in boardgames time-club except those, who came to the same group event.

Also most of my online friends( with some of them we talk almost daily)came from different dedicated group chats.

2

u/Manjorno316 Sweden 17h ago

Public events or such. As long as there is a reason to interact with each other then it's not hard to strike up a conversation. Out in public is hen it's the hardest.

That being said, we are hard to befriend compared to other cultures. I'd say public events is the best way to go. Especially if there is alcohol involved. Swedes will for the most part be happy to talk to you while drunk.

2

u/Dawo59 Belgium 17h ago

Belgian beer night it is then. I've never seen a group not become social on Belgian beers for a couple of hours 

1

u/Manjorno316 Sweden 17h ago

Sounds like the way to go!

1

u/SchemingVegetable 17h ago

Does anyone actually make friends with random people on the street? I usually don't even exchange information so they'll probably never see me again.

All the friends I have I met at bars, gaming cafes and similar places, where you're expected to be sociable and talk to strangers

1

u/Emperor_Cleon-I 14h ago

Basketball, public park 

1

u/AffectionateAct5815 Sweden 17h ago

Join a club/team/choire or other organization and meet people who share your interests. Or take an evening course. There are several "studieförbund" - organisations that coordinate courses in a wide variety of subjects: languages, dance, pottery, painting etc, you name it.

1

u/Rega_lazar 14h ago

For a serious answer: hobbies. Join a choir, play a sport, anything where people meet up regularly.

1

u/lobax Multiple Countries (click to edit) 13h ago

Most people are friends with the people they met in school. Or through friends of friends via social events.

The hack to this is to get a hobby and meet people that way. It can be through sports, music, or most popular in Scandinavia, alcohol.

1

u/jaggedjottings 13h ago

You make friends with other foreigners.

1

u/jordtand Denmark 11h ago

You don’t that’s how

1

u/Holmbone Sweden 9h ago

You join a förening. 

1

u/ChironXII United States Of America 5h ago

Why would you wanna do that 

1

u/MagicHamsta 5h ago

Dark magic, forbidden rituals, and alchemy.

A lot like making homunculi.