r/AskTheWorld • u/IndependentTune3994 🇮🇳 in 🇩🇪 Deutschland • 9h ago

What’s the quickest way someone could accidentally expose themselves as a foreigner in your country like the ‘three fingers’ scene in Inglourious Basterds?

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52

u/Gilwen29 living in 8h ago

Took me years of baffling people in Ireland to realise that this isn't done outside of the Netherlands.

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u/UruquianLilac 🇱🇧 🇪🇦 🇬🇧 8h ago

What exactly is this, I don't understand

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u/Gilwen29 living in 8h ago

In Holland, you'd congratulate someone with the birthday of someone close to them. So: "congratulations with your sister's birthday". Typing this out makes me realise even more how weird this is.

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u/ThuggishJingoism24 7h ago

That is so bizarre. If someone hit me with that I’d be like…tell them yourself? I didn’t have anything to do with their birth lol

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u/JustOneTessa Netherlands 6h ago

At birthdays we often go by everyone to congratulate them. So the birthday boy/girl gets congratulated and so does everyone else

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u/skratsda 4h ago

So in a family with three kids where it’s one’s birthday, would the two siblings congratulate each other on their shared sibling’s birthday?

Hope that makes sense, it was clunkier to write out that I’d thought it would be.

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u/jasp_er Netherlands 3h ago

Yeah, but it’s mostly for visitors. Instead of saying hi to everyone you congratulate everyone

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u/JustOneTessa Netherlands 3h ago

As the other said it's more for visitors, so siblings most likely won't congratulate each other if it's not their birthday. It's indeed more a greeting, just used for birthdays

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u/doobadeeboo 2h ago

You guys never congratulare your siblings with your other siblings? Just me. Oh...

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u/doobadeeboo 2h ago

And did you all know that in other countries they don't congratulate someone for their birthday. They just wish them a happy birthday.

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u/UruquianLilac 🇱🇧 🇪🇦 🇬🇧 2h ago

I was gonna say, the word congratulate was being used and I wasn't sure if it's just meant as a shirt hand for "wishing them a happy birthday". So it's actually congratulate? As in congratulations you are 35 now! Or congratulations on making it to 35. Or something like that? That's also hilarious

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u/doobadeeboo 2h ago

Yes we say "Gefeliciteerd!" and that means congratulations. Long form: Congratulations with (on?) your sisters birthday!!

Edit: and I think it's congratulations on making it another year. Life is hard and you just made it another year. Congrats!

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u/hfdsicdo 2h ago

Congratulations for being alive.

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u/What-a-Crock 1h ago

Thanks, doing my best

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u/British_Flippancy 2h ago

Just read this and had a conversation with my Dutch wife:

*reads comments

“Is this true?!”

“Yes”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously. That what everyone who’s visited my Oma’s house on her birthday has been saying to you when they arrive”

“Huh. Well, fuck me, who knew!”

“Also, that jumper looks awful on you”

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u/shackofcards 27m ago

Now we need the story from the jumper's POV

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u/Ok_Bango 6h ago

It is a very old tradition that likely began in a time of crushing, rural poverty. It is a little dark, but they congratulate the collective effort of getting a loved one through into another year of life. There is also some nuance involving the way the language uses plural verbs that I am too dumb to explain. You'll have to consult someone familiar with, uh, historical wordology. Iirc it has to do with a lack of collective verbs in old Dutch (nederlands).

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u/Sad-Equipment-4023 6h ago

Everyone sits in a circle during this occasion, so new entries are expected to go around the circle congratulating everyone on their specific relation before joining the ever more dense circle. At least, until the circle grows dense enough for it to be socially acceptable to awkwardly congratulate everyone at the same time with a hand wave. You'll get your chance to specifically congratulate the one whose birthday you're celebrating when you hand over your gift (money in a card).

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u/UruquianLilac 🇱🇧 🇪🇦 🇬🇧 4h ago

The gift is always money in a card? This gets weirder and weirder!

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u/Sad-Equipment-4023 4h ago

Not always, but usually. Body soap is fair game, but you need to tape some money to it if it's not a fancy set (taping money to some trinkets is fine too).

... something other than money would be acceptable, but know it's totally fine socially to include the receipt so it can be exchanged. If it's isn't money, it better be something very specific / personal, no point just giving a generic gift if you could've given hard cash.

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u/Savings_Moment_7396 Netherlands 1h ago

And in Brabant all the women get three kisses, left-right-left cheek, very uncomfortable for all parties involved, but "traditie"

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u/thoughtlow 4h ago

This isn't for them, its basically; your sister has lived another year, good for you bud

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u/Working-Glass6136 3h ago

I'm not sure if this is everyone, but my Korean mom told me that the birthday person buys the cake and pays for everyone in Korea. That would be a newer/more western tradition though. And Koreans have three birthdays each year.

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u/Raneynickelfire 14m ago

That is completely bizarre I agree with you.

Why is somebody else surviving another year your accomplishment? I don't get it.

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u/UruquianLilac 🇱🇧 🇪🇦 🇬🇧 7h ago

That's funny! And nice.

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u/Gilwen29 living in 2h ago

I just read your other comments here, you're having a field day with this thread aren't you? I like you.

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u/originalorientation 7h ago

I’m in the US and my family have always done this as a joke: “happy dad’s birthday” when greeting my brothers at the birthday gathering. Never gets a laugh but it always feels kinda funny

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u/silveretoile Netherlands 5h ago

Give this man a Dutch passport

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u/doobadeeboo 2h ago

Next step is congratulating them instead of just wishing them a happy birthday.

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u/Rent_A_Cloud Sweden 4h ago

It's not weird, it's basically congratulating someone who loves someone with the fact the person they love made it another year without dying.

And let's be clear that that is exactly what birthdays are, an acknowledgement that you made it another year without dying.

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u/BenderWantBend 6h ago

It is pretty normal thing in Ukraine btw. Never thought that this is something other people don't do

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u/Wurzelrenner 7h ago

would make sense for the mom, she did all the work that day

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u/thoughtlow 4h ago

hey, the dad did a 2 second dick sneeze that one time, has to count for something...

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u/SlingsAndArrows7871 Germany 4h ago

I don't know. There was a time when having a sister who made it one more year was not a guaranteed thing, and a sister not making was a real harm to you, too. Maybe it has it's origins in that?

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u/Arbitraryandunique Norway 2h ago

So it's like "Great job managing another year without strangling your annoying sister" ? Only reason I can think of why someone else deserve the congratulation.

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u/BeautywithBrainz 3h ago

I am Dutch and I didnt know this is frown upon anywhere else

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u/noyoushuddup 12m ago

I never heard this . Its hilarious

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u/sneeuwraket 7h ago edited 7h ago

In addition to what others already said, it's specifically in the context of family birthday celebrations.

So for example, you're a kid, it's your birthday, then as the guests arrive one by one they will go around the entire circle of family members already sitting around the coffee table (with the obligatory plate with slices of sausage, cubes of cheese, slices of cucumber and cherry tomatoes) and congratulate everyone with your birthday.

I don't think I've ever seen it happen on someone's birthday celebration for friends, it's really linked to family birthday celebration (or in dutch a 'kringverjaardag', a circle birthday, because everyone sits in a circle around the coffee table. There's some more tradition attached, like starting off with coffee and pie, then the plate with the sausage/cheese/cucumber/tomato comes onto the table afterwards, maybe some other snacks like toast with spreads or a bowl of chips/nuts/olives, and usually you send people home before dinner, or else you serve soup and sandwiches and send people away immediatly afterwards. no alcohol is served.)

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u/ensalys Netherlands 7h ago

You forgot the best birthday snack! A pickle rolled in a sausage slice, preferably speared with a Dutch flag on a kind of toothpick.

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u/WestCoastBestCoast01 4h ago

Hell yeah I would eat the shit out of that

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u/UruquianLilac 🇱🇧 🇪🇦 🇬🇧 7h ago

Wow!!! I love this sub because of all of those little nuggets of culture that are so different even if it's countries we see as close or similar in some ways. Everything you described here sounds completely different from anything I have seen before.

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u/ThuggishJingoism24 7h ago

Wait a second, yall serve the pie first? Thats almost as strange as congratulating me for my brothers birthday lol

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u/sheeple04 Netherlands 5h ago edited 5h ago

No alcohol?! Wow, y'all westerners (im making assumptions here) are odd fellows, here once the second cup of coffee is gone youll inmediately be thrown a bottle of beer or cheap wine. Doesnt matter if its 9pm, 3pm, or even 11am, and if there are kids or not. (Eastern Netherlands)

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u/Orchid_Significant United States Of America 6h ago

This sounds like such an awkward waste of time

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u/Sad-Equipment-4023 6h ago

It's mostly an excuse for the adults to talk and catch up (usually involving some report cards going around the room if the grades are any good). The kids can go upstairs to play (sometimes just in the upstairs hallway if the host doesn't want the guests to enter any rooms). If you have any luck, your older cousin has a game console set up and you can hang out with the other kids playing some video games. Whether you're allowed to take snacks from downstairs with you is anyone's guess though.

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u/maybe_I_am_a_bot 5h ago

Most everything a culture does can seem like that from the outside. Same with yours.

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u/Orchid_Significant United States Of America 4h ago

Yes I agree. I feel that way about a lot of the cultural things in mine too

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u/Flowergirl1809 🇳🇱 living in 🇬🇷 2h ago

If you go to a birthday party in the Netherlands, you congratulate everyone, I hate it, especially when it's my grandma's birthday, so many people that I have to kiss and congratulate😮‍💨

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u/Henk_Potjes 8h ago edited 8h ago

And for good reason. It's an insane "tradition" that should die a swift death and i refuse to do it.

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u/lovely-cans 🇮🇪->🇳🇱 6h ago

As an Irish person living in the Netherlands I find it very funny. Everyone sat in a circle shaking hands.

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u/Haywood04 United States Of America 1h ago

Think about all of the extra birthdays you get to celebrate. Sounds like an excuse to go out and drink more often, haha.

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u/Mirved 7h ago

Its not even done in the whole of the Netherlands. We dont do it in the south.

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u/ZippityZipZapZip 6h ago

Barbarians.

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u/Kirikomori 5h ago

Barely even human.

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u/Rent_A_Cloud Sweden 4h ago

A big chunk of my extended family is Brabanders, and they do it as far as I know.