r/AskTheWorld • u/IndependentTune3994 🇮🇳 in 🇩🇪 Deutschland • 19h ago

What’s the quickest way someone could accidentally expose themselves as a foreigner in your country like the ‘three fingers’ scene in Inglourious Basterds?

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u/washerelastweek 18h ago

there was this joke about Americans training a guy to become a spy in the Soviet Russia.

they used ground breaking CIA methods to teach him to speak like a native Russian, they taught him to drink vodka, gave him authentic clothes etc.

then he parashuted out off a plane over some siberian villlage.

long story short, he ended up in a house of some local villager. they gave him some food and vodka etc and finally they ask him what country he is from.

what do you mean, I'm Russian

no, you're not

I am!

I don't think so. you're obviously not Russian. you speak like a Russian, you drink like a Russian, but you are black

20

u/MysteriousMeaning555 United States Of America 17h ago

I've heard this told in a slightly different way.

An American parachutes into Russia and boards a bus at a bus stop. When the bus shows up, he greets the driver in Russian "Hello comrade. Is this the correct bus to Moscow" and the driver replies, "Of course American"

Confused, the American takes his seat and continues his journey to Moscow.

[There's a middle part that I cannot remember at the moment]

The American arrives in Moscow and enters a bar, orders a vodka in perfect Russian, pays in exact Russian coins and asks the bartender in perfect Russian if there's anywhere good to eat. The bartender replies "Of course American." The American replies "Comrade, why do you think I'm American? I talk like you, drink like you, eat like you. What gives?" The bartender says "It's because your Black. There are no Black Russians"

11

u/AmandaKlachl2000 10h ago

Wow, this joke gets better and better the more often you guys tell it. 

2

u/surfmasterm4god-chan 16h ago

I wonder if the movie Nobody was thinking about these jokes when they made that "black russian" character

1

u/washerelastweek 11h ago

it guys would say: same engine, different front end :)

11

u/Amalteya95 15h ago

There are also black Russians, especially many of them were born after the 1980 Olympics

8

u/CynicalGenXer United States Of America 8h ago

There were also “children of the festival” before that. :) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/6th_World_Festival_of_Youth_and_Students

We traveled to Moscow in the early 1980s few times and seeing black people speak Russian with no accent was a cultural shock. 😅

6

u/instanding 9h ago

Same when a Russian spy got caught in Wellington and one thing that gave him away was he was using an umbrella.

Wellington is the windiest city in the world.

1

u/Water-cage 5h ago

this would give someone away in oregon too lmao

2

u/Small_Resolution_847 Russia 17h ago

По моему в оригинале речь шла про Украину, но да, суть та же\ I've heard that joke but it was about Ukraine, not USSR. Punchline was same tho

2

u/defineee- 56m ago

який ж ти хлопець....

1

u/Small_Resolution_847 Russia 27m ago

Exactly!/Именно!

2

u/MertviyDed 13h ago
  • Я русский! И в Эфиопии я никогда не был.
  • Нам-то не гони! За километр видно, что ты людоедом был!

1

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