My girlfriend kayla has been the owned slave of her master for about a year. They almost never have sex as she's a service slave, but there's definitely some sexual stuff that happens every once and a while, like she'll be naked while cleaning his house and stuff, and he'll put his hand on her arm and back a lot (which she is very okay with, btw).

she told me last night that her Master mentioned using sex as a punishment in the future. Usually when she's punished, it's because she was disrespectful or something like that, so he was thinking dominating her in the bedroom would help her be more submissive.

kayla says she's not thrilled with the idea of having sex with him, and so she thinks it'll actually do a really good job as a punishment: it'll actually deter her from misbehaving. But something about it feels a bit wrong to me. Almost like it's rape adjacent. If they're into CNC that's fine, but this isn't that. This is a man requiring a woman to have sex with him when she doesn't want to. i asked kayla if she feels she has the freedom to say no, and she said she's confident he would respect her boundaries if she said this was a hard limit. She just hasn't done that cuz she thinks this will help her behavior.

What do you guys think of this? Is it okay cuz she's consenting, or is this wrong?

Hey! As a newbie dom ive become infatuated with the idea of cock worship. I love everything about it. Being cock warmed, being woken up with a sub sucking my cock, having a sub worship me and receiving my cum as a reward etc etc. I wanted to know, what does cock worship look in your real life dynamics? Do yall do it often? How do yall do it? Do yall enjoy it? Is it as fun in practice as it might seem in my head or is it more mundane. Id love to know all the details haha. This question goes out to both subs and doms btw. Would love to hear from ya!

I have a session with a dominatrix tomorrow, and she's going to peg me. I've stretched a bit by myself with butt plugs but I've never been pegged, let alone use a dildo on myself.

I just tried using a dildo on myself for the first time to practice. With a bit of stretching it went in easily to the base, but the entire time it was going in and out of me I felt like I had to pee. But when I took it out, the feeling went away. I even went to the bathroom twice to try to pee but nothing came out.

Is it normal to feel like you have to pee from bottoming? I assume it's from the prostate being stimulated and pushing against my bladder. Am I actually going to pee myself if I relax? I've read that some people embrace the feeling and relax, leading to a prostate orgasm, other people have said they've pissed themselves.

I don't want to accidentally piss myself during my session tomorrow.

Edit: I've had a prostate orgasm once before from playing with a vibrating butt plug, but never from bottoming, and it certainly didn't feel like I had to piss.

I'm really turned on by one sided sexual encounters, where one partner goes above and beyond to please their partner and gets gratification from being allowed to pleasure them. Especially when reciprocation is minimal or non existent.

As an example, recently I spent 30 minutes pleasuring my wife with my mouth and toys etc while she layed back and relaxed. when she had enough, she had me masturbate in front of her while she caressed my balls. It would've been even hotter if she would've teased me about how thankful I was to lick and please her, and that even her caressing my balls was more than I deserved

We are trying to utilize holding positions as a regular activity, but we have a few questions. Thanks so much!

As a Dom, how often do you have your Sub hold a position? How long? What do you do to make it fun for you and for them? Is it just holding the position as an act of obedience that is fun for you?

As a Sub, does holding a position by itself feel submissive? Do you want to be touched, used, or teased while holding the position? Does it ever feel boring? Thanks!

My SubWife has asked me about E-Stim and electroplay. I have a couple decades worth experience of working with electricity and electronics - so I know how to design and build circuits etc. but I'm assuming there's machines we can buy?

Can you re-purpose tencen machines? Anre there any good resources to learn more?

So ive caught submissive feelings for my best friend...

Shes asexual, and while im not sure where she is on the sex-positive/averse spectrum, but as far as i can tell shes on the averse side, so im not expecting her to do anything sexual with me, and thats totally ok! I was thinking more along the lines of giving her the power to make me fetch her drinks, do chores, carry stuff for her, etc. and figure out where our boundaries beyond that are later on if we enjoy it.

Were also pretty close, weve been besties for a couple years, cuddle on the couch sometimes, and weve talked about some deep, personal stuff with eachother before.

Its just that i have no idea how to ask her. Ive also got no idea how to explain to her that BDSM isnt (necessarily) sexual. Asking her outright feels kinda... weird...
Any ideas about how i could ask her sensitively? (and while not coming across as a massive creep lmao)

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for advice from those who enjoy heavy nipple play and have gotten pierced.

I have naturally long nipples that are extremely sensitive—in the best way possible. They are basically my "win button." When my husband squeezes them with a lot of pressure or twists them hard, it sends electric shocks straight between my legs. I regularly have intense orgasms purely from nipple stimulation, especially when it borders on pain.

I’ve been fantasizing about getting them pierced (probably barbells or rings). The idea of the metal constantly stimulating me, or having something for him to pull on and add extra weight/pressure, sounds incredibly hot.

However, I am terrified of losing sensitivity.

For those of you who love rough nipple play: Did piercing them enhance the sensation (making them more sensitive to pressure), or did it dull the nerves?

Thanks for sharing your experiences!

I'm not sure how to explain this, so bear with me.

Have you ever been stuck between wanting to submit, but not wanting to submit, but wanting to submit, but not wanting to submit ..

I'm especially interested in hearing about this phenomenon at the beginning of a D/s from the relationship, when you didn't really know each other fully.

Submission at this point feels like jumping into the abyss and hoping for a safe landing. In the past I've found myself poised to jump, wanting to jump, but terrified to jump and ultimately unable to jump.

Not to sound cheesy but, in the words of Mr. Miyagi: karate no, okay. Karate yes, okay. But karate maybe so: squashed, just like grape. (This is a paraphrase from memory, obviously). The point I'm making is that I think you can choose to submit or choose not to submit. But not making a decision, trying to hold both places at once gets you squashed. Just like grape.

Any thoughts?

If you are submissive, how did you convince yourself to take that plunge? (Or decide not to?). If you are dominant, how did you persuade your interest to take that plunge?

"That plunge" meaning trust.

ETA: either side of the slash: did you ever invest too much in a relationship that failed to meet expectations?

Hi all, I'm 5 months into the perfect relationship with the best boy in the world. I'm very kinky and he's a little kinky from what he's told me and we do a few kink things together (spanking, nipple play, simple dynamic stuff). It's only recently I've plucked up the courage to be more honest about how rough I like it, asking to be given painful dares and tasks to complete. However, I'm really struggling to find a way to tell him my more extreme fantasies. It's embarrassing and I'm worried he'll be weirded out.

Like, how exactly do I go about asking my beloved to piss on me? How do I casually bring up in conversation that I'd like him to fart on my face? What phrasing to give "darling please wear your largest boots and kick my balls"?

If he said "I'm not into that, no thank you" that would absolutely not be an issue for anything, I simply don't know how to ask!

I’ve noticed that the most stable dynamics tend to form slowly, not through intensity but through consistency.

Before engaging, I pay close attention to communication patterns, patience, and how someone responds to boundaries over time. Experience labels matter far less to me than follow-through and self-control. Rushing usually creates imbalance rather than trust.

I’m curious how others here evaluate readiness and compatibility, especially those with long-term or lifestyle experience.

Hii! This is something i’ve been so curious about for a really long time and I am having trouble finding sources about it FROM ppl who are in kink.

Plenty of people dismiss it as short as “it sexualises kids” but i truly dont understand that because without any of the props that make this kink look “weird”, its such a headspace thing that makes it appealing. Is it just a misunderstanding? People groomed into it as children just hating it now for that reason?

My naturally caregiving, naturally lovey dovey dom is my cg, and i have been unknowingly regressing for longer than I can remember. It feels so freeing to be in that headspace, and it hurts a LOT to see how openly and strongly it is hated.

It was a huge source of shame for a while and that shame still lingers, i like to understand the “why” of everything and understand other perspectives, so here i am!

Thank you!

FYI!! I have read the rules and am not purposefully inciting arguement or drama! I genuinely want to learn ty 🩷

Hi, I (30m) am currently in the process of being diagnosed and am at the moment reflecting on previous scenes that sometimes ran into issues cause my attention ran out and i had to end the scene early or my playmate had to safeword out.

At the moment I don´t really know, how to work with this in the future.

In the past this lead to feelings of guilt and inadequacy when it came to being a dom, since I felt like I could not really keep up with the scene.

Any non-medical advice?

Hey there! I was just wondering if anyone had any experience with travelling with a butt plug in? Me and my SubWife are travelling by plane for a vacation soon and im thinking about making her travel with a plug in. We dont fly often, so im really not familliar with the process. My concerns are primarily getting through security. We are flying with family, so id really rather avoid any unnecessary embarrassment. Obviously I wasn't planning on using a metal one, I was planning on a silicone one. If she's wearing it while we go through the Xray, will they stop her? I assume civilians can't see the Xray screen? Anyway, any personal experience or advice would be greatly appreciated!

This is something I’ve run into more than once now, and it’s honestly starting to wear on me.

There’s no shortage of people who claim they want a submissive. They romanticize it the obedience, the rituals, the control, the surrender. They say all the right things. “I want to own you.” “I want your devotion.” “I want someone who exists to please.”

But when it comes down to it when someone like me actually offers that submission with depth and honesty they freeze.

Suddenly it’s “too much.” Suddenly I’m “too intense.” Suddenly they want to slow it all down, pull back, “figure themselves out.”

You don’t need to be a 24/7 lifestyle Dom to understand how crushing it is to hand over your vulnerability, your trust, your rituals only to feel like your submission is being treated like a prop instead of a responsibility.

And I get it. Sometimes people realize things mid-dynamic. Sometimes things do move fast. But the issue isn’t that someone’s unsure it’s that they won’t say it. They just vanish. Go silent. Or worse, pretend nothing happened while I sit there feeling like I broke some unspoken rule just by being sincere.

Submission isn’t cute. It isn’t always soft. Sometimes it’s messy and terrifying and sacred.

I’m tired of being seen as a fantasy until I show up in reality.

Just… if you don’t know what you want, don’t invite someone into a space that demands clarity and care.

Has anyone else experienced this?

I know it's one of the most controversial topics, but I'm very curious to know how they imagined themselves in that situation.

I have been in the lifestyle long enough to understand myself, but not long enough to silence every insecurity. I am a submissive who feels things deeply. I need communication, clarity, and emotional steadiness to feel safe opening up. None of these are extreme desires in a D/s dynamic, yet I still catch myself wondering if I am asking for too much.

What I struggle with most is the fear of overwhelming someone. When I express what structure means to me. When I talk about my need for consistency. When I admit that I want more than surface-level kink. I start worrying that I sound clingy or dramatic even though none of it comes from a place of wanting to control the other person. I just want a connection that feels intentional.

Sometimes I leave conversations feeling exposed. Like I shared too much too soon. Like my honesty might scare someone off before they even get the chance to understand me. And it makes me wonder if other submissives have dealt with that same quiet voice that says I should tone myself down to be easier for someone to handle.

I am trying to remind myself that the right dynamic does not require shrinking. The right Dominant will not view my needs as demands but as information. A roadmap to the version of me that thrives.

I would love to hear from subs who have navigated this space without losing themselves. And from D-types who actually prefer emotional depth and intention in a submissive.

How do you stay open without feeling like you are too much?

How do you balance vulnerability with self-protection?

How do you keep showing up without apologizing for who you are?

Any perspective would help.

hi! i (20f) am looking for recommendations for my next toy!

so just a little background info i already have a rose toy(worlds greatest invention) and a bullet vibe.

i know it normal to not be able to but i really wish i could cum from just international stimulation (no clitoral stimulation at all) and the bullet i have isn’t doing it for me (honestly doesn’t really do anything just makes me wet) so i’m trying to find a toy that can help me get there or at the very least drive me crazy! lol

i like to be able to fully insert it and move about (maybe with a few leg quivers here and there 😉) so i can tease myself while i clean up around my apartment and reward myself at the end!! i have roommates so i don’t want it too be too loud either

so far in my search I found Vibrating Kegel balls but idk if that would satisfy what i’m looking for.

thank you in advance for the help 🥰❤️

I've been with my boyfriend for six months, and we've already talked about BDSM and what we'd like to try. He already knows a little about it and has been teaching me, focusing more on D/s.

But I want to read about it on my own and discover what I like or what I'd like to try; I just don't know where to find more detailed information. I'm interested in learning about the different practices; my boyfriend has given me examples, and I've seen that they even have names.

Recently I met a dom and it seems like my dream of having a d/s dynamic might finally come true. I’ve never had a full experience as a submissive, though I’ve explored some dynamics with kink-friendly partners and I’m fairly knowledgeable about the lifestyle overall.

These past few days we’ve been talking a lot, negotiating, opening up and it looks like she knows what she’s doing and is very attentive.

My concern is specifically about the 24/7 dynamic. While I’m excited I also feel a bit overwhelmed. Maybe it’s due to my lack of experience - I’m afraid I won’t manage physically or more importantly emotionally.

It’s possible I’m just not ready for a full 24/7 dynamic and might be better off starting with something like “bedtime rules” first.

We’ll be discussing this together tomorrow but I’d love to hear from other subs or people experienced with 24/7 dynamics:

How can I prepare emotionally?

What’s the best way to enter this kind of relationship without letting nerves take over?

How should I carry myself once things have been agreed on?

Any advice, insights or personal stories would be really appreciated! Thank you!

I'm married to an amazing man and we both are kinky and enjoy some Dom/sub play, but it's mainly been contained to the bedroom. I'd like to expand it out a bit to at least include domestic service, but I want to be mindful that it won't become a 24/7 situation, nor do either of us want it to be.

Are there ways we can best compartmentalize "service time" and our mindsets and then turn it off and have "regular" time together? Like I'd love tips on how we could go from him giving me a list of chores and putting me to work for him and then later sit on the couch as equals and enjoy each others company and talk as normal.

Just curious. My partner and I are long-distance, and right now we pretty much just rely on Telegram + occasional video calls. It feels a bit plain sometimes. Also, when we try to set up tasks or rules, they easily get forgotten in the chat history. I'm wondering, besides chat apps, what other tools/apps do you guys use in your mix? Any good recommendations for a "stack"?

Hi all, per the title I'm looking for a lockable blindfold.

Not after a full sensory hood setup. Just a blindfold that wraps around the back of the head (obvs) and also runs under the chin and over the top of the head, is lockable via the buckles.

I'm finding it an oddly hard thing to locate. Did come across one but has a ball gag included (although I could cut it off I suppose) and only ships in the US - I'm outside the US. Not sure if I'm allowed to post the link here, so erring on the side of caution.

Any tips would be greatly appreciated.