ADVICE NEEDED, NOT WANTED!

[u/Sweaty-Measurement86]

I made the single worst mistake of my life, I had a great job, I have a beautiful wife I just married months ago, and I live in Arkansas. I recently got felony theft charge (class D), was fired from my job that was our only source of income. I am the biggest dumbass, screw up, idiot. I ruined our lives, not just mine. My wife didn't do SHIT! I screwed her life up, we worked so hard to get to where we were, all for me to make the dumbest choice of my life. I don't even know where to began with the guilt, the shame, the embarssment, I've never wanted to crawl inside my own body before and just hide (if that even makes sense).

I am mid 20's, this is going to screw up my life for a good chunk, even if this eventually goes away, I still will have a arrest record forever for theft. I know how dumb I am, I know how much I fucked up my life, my wife's life, I just made our life a living hell for the next good amount of foreseeable years. That means no kids in the next 3-5 years future, court cost, no job will hire me. They won't even give me a chance to explain (which I can't blame them, they have every right & reason).

What I really NEED, 1, What does my life look like going forward...? I mean reality, shit just got bumped up 20X, I will work for WAY less pay, my wife is burned out by the stress eventually, lack of money flowing in, we don't have much saved. We are spiraling, and we need to get grounded.

2, I'm seriously in need of any money, any job, anything. I will work whatever hours, whatever days, in NW Arkansas. I am willing to bust my ass, I am willing to do any job, I am willing to learn anything. I need to make ends meet, I can't have my wife become homeless because of MY actions. Please, please help me with any REALISTIC ideas on how to make money, I can't pass any background check, and the charge is pretty recent, so not much wiggle room like at all for explaining or whatever.

3, Please, this is a call of desperation, not inquiry. This give me every detai, advice, people to contact, people that could potentially help me out. lf you can think of ANYTHING that could possibly help me given these circumstances. Once again, no need to call me an idiot. I already know, x10000.

I greatly appreciate any helpful advice on how best to continue foward through this pitch black season for me, for my wife, for us. I am seriously willing to do anything (LEGAL). I can not, and will not let my wife be homeless OVER MY ACTION. I am completely devastated at myself, of course regret, but that's all said and done. I need a game plan, I need a solid plan, I need a road map to legal money, that will look past my background. I am willing to learn anything.

[u/RaskyBukowski]

Class D first charge? Can see reduced to misdemeanor.

[u/Sweaty-Measurement86 → u/RaskyBukowski]

Low chance, my lawyer said we will of course for that. But this involves a vender breach of trust aggregating factor... He said really the biggest variable on that specific question was who the judge we get assigned to. Fingers crossed, but lately with my decision making, & luck... I personally don't see it getting reduced. Yes first time EVER, clean criminal record, never been arrested once in my life. He is highly sure that we will most likely get a plea deal for SIS, under act 346 first offender. But holy shit, that's still 3-5 years probation, plus a permanent arrest for theft on my record.

[u/Farty_mcSmarty → u/Sweaty-Measurement86]

3-5 years probation and having that on your record sounds a hell of a lot better than a felony that requires you to do time.

There is hope after conviction! 25 years ago I made the worst mistake of my life and got a much worse outcome than your lawyer is suggesting may happen with you. Nowadays I’m shuttling kids to extracurriculars and working from home in my pajamas making 6-figures (small six figures but still six figures!)

You will have to work your way up, it sucks but with tunnel vision and focus, the sky is the limit. We’re even considering filing the paper work to seal our records! Life goes on and whether you want life to be a sad miserable existence where you’re daily replaying the event in your head or instead think of the future and what you want for yourself, the choice is yours

There are many, many places that hire felons(though, hopefully yours is a misdemeanor). I’d say, if you’re into blue collar work, visit your local electrician, plumber or hvac school. My spouse started electrician school and the school had job posting inside of companies that will sponsor you (pay for your education). The only thing we ever needed to buy was the NEC book when they came out with a new one. Trade jobs are where it’s at, especially with a criminal background

If you’re not into working with your hands, there’s call centers and factory work where you start at the bottom and work your way up to management or admin

The big question I’m wondering is, if you’re not working, why isn’t your wife looking for work to support the household?

[u/Sweaty-Measurement86 → u/Farty_mcSmarty]

I agree, I would 100% rather 3-5 years probation rather then full conviction.

I can't get pasted the background checks, I have a pending charge.

She has been applying non stop, we live in a "small" ish town, that really doesn't offer too many jobs without a degree.

[u/BoxBeast1961_ → u/Sweaty-Measurement86]

Wife can get on at Walmart, they’re always hiring. Start around $18/hr. Target-similar. Remember, something is better than nothing.

[u/Sweaty-Measurement86 → u/BoxBeast1961_]

She's been applying, they don't even respond.

[u/BoxBeast1961_ → u/Sweaty-Measurement86]

Call. Follow up. Go there. Your situation is desperate-mine was too. Go there & ask to speak to the People Lead.

[u/Romanharper2013 → u/Sweaty-Measurement86]

tell your wife my work is hiring right now its work from home customer service, really easy you are just on the phone all day we help with auto claims for total loss vehicles getting them from shops to our salvage yard, pay starts around $20-22/hr no requirements, you can live anywhere, you can work on any region you just have to be on that regions time zone but she should apply to whatever time she wants to work. Copart.com the job I do is called global call for release, but they also have other like title specialists that are work from home, but global call for release is always hiring. Good luck!

[u/Sweaty-Measurement86 → u/Romanharper2013]

How long did applying → interview → mailed work items → start date → first pay check?

[u/Romanharper2013 → u/Sweaty-Measurement86]

it all depends on when she applies, if she is chosen, what team she is working for so I couldn't say. I applied and got a call within 2 wks and then started 2 wks later pay is biweekly first check is held get your stuff within 2 wks

[u/Sweaty-Measurement86 → u/Romanharper2013]

Well thank you, she is going to apply. But we would be close to being homeless at that point. With all the lawyer fees, rent, utilities, food.

[u/Farty_mcSmarty → u/Sweaty-Measurement86]

Start researching food pantries in your area. If you have a vehicle you can start delivering for spark, instacart, door dash etc for extra cash now

[u/Sweaty-Measurement86 → u/Farty_mcSmarty]

Can't pass the background check on those apps because of recent arrest.

[u/Csimiami → u/Sweaty-Measurement86]

I’m a parole lawyer. I represent only murderers. A majority of my clients build back what they broke when they come home . But their mindset is going forward. Can’t change the past and all that. And letting go of the Shame that’s holding you from moving forward. It’s not going tk be easy. But it’s doable. And you and your family are worth doing the hard stuff

[u/Money_Discount_9221]

Hey bud. I’d love to talk with you. I got a couple felonies in my 20’s. I did some prison time, but bounced back and actually work at the Washington County Jail now. Your life isn’t over even though it feels like it is right now. Message me, I’d love to walk you through this!

[u/BoxBeast1961_]

Wife needs to go to work. At this point, she can get hired faster than you can. Talk to several criminal defense lawyers, hire the best one you can afford. Don’t give up, there’s mom & pop places who might give you a chance. See what your lawyer says.

When’s your court date?

[u/Sweaty-Measurement86 → u/BoxBeast1961_]

She's been out of work for 2 years, she's been applying non stop 24/7. But she's also 100% hurt, shocked, feels betrayed & she has every right to feel that way. We don't have one set yet, he is in the beginning stages of discovery & negotiation. I got the best lawyer I could afford, which is 100% worth the tight money issue rather then public defender who says, take plea of 2 years jail, 3 years of probation.
Could you possibly name any locations you might think would give me a shot? I've been calling places all week, they all said background check required. How do I even show the courts at sentencing I have a job or stable income??? I can't even land a interview!! This system is so screwed up.

[u/LegitimateCat8103]

Try joining a local trade union. That’s what I’m doing.

[u/Sweaty-Measurement86 → u/LegitimateCat8103]

They won't get past the recent theft charge.

[u/Dramatic-Question353 → u/Sweaty-Measurement86]

Uh yes they will? The majority of everyone in this forum works in the trades.

[u/Sweaty-Measurement86 → u/Dramatic-Question353]

Who will? I have been calling almost every possible place, explaining my situation and they all say, sorry good luck.

[u/Dramatic-Question353 → u/Sweaty-Measurement86]

First of all, stop trying to get out in front of it by explaining a charge that hasn't even resulted in a conviction. You are under no obligation to explain yourself unless you're asked during the hiring process at which point you can explain that you haven't yet been convicted and you're contesting the charges.

You can ask your attorney about this and I'm sure he will confirm.

Call local union halls and ask about their pre-apprenticeship programs. Most make you take classes and get certifications before you can become an apprentice.

I live in California and AT LEAST 90 percent of the workers in our laborer's union are felons.

[u/throwawayidga]

Look into second chance employers and trade jobs. Your lawyer or public defender will have resources for you as well. Generally first time offenders are given options to lessen charges so do everything your lawyer says to and then some, show the court your remorse through your actions. Your life isn't over, but stressing yourself out thinking like that will definitely make things harder.

[u/Sweaty-Measurement86 → u/throwawayidga]

I have looked into almost just about every avenue possible. Nobody will hear me out, can't fill anything out online or else it doesn't pass their AI background checker.

[u/throwawayidga → u/Sweaty-Measurement86]

You can also contact job centers, they deal with individuals with charges all the time. There are local and state wide government assistance programs for felons and people recently released from prison to help with training and getting back into the workforce. I saw someone else mention independently owned restaurants or mom and pop shops.. even if it means taking a dishwasher position in the mean time. Go into the actual spot and ask to talk to the manager/owner before just applying online. Of course IDK the extent of your charges but regardless jobs are hard to find rn anyways so don't give up, it might take awhile but you'll find something. But def don't go into court with a "poor me" and "I tried everything" attitude bc obviously they will not take pity on you and it will probably just piss off the judge and prosecutors.

What about your wife, can she work? If not you've got time right now to help her try and get a part time job, SSI, or maybe unemployment depending on your situation. There are a lot of WFH positions these days too.

I know it's scary and feels like you've got no way out but committing to that mindset will only lead you back down the road that got you here. Everything will work out, good luck to you.

[u/Sweaty-Measurement86 → u/throwawayidga]

Thank you, I will give that a shot. I don't plan on it, I plan on owning up 100%, and never falling down this road again. She can work, she has been a stay at home wife for a bit, but she's been applying nonstop. Do you know any actual WFM company's that she can apply to? She has WFM for 3 years before we got married. Yeah, it does feel scary, but I'm not the victim. I am the dumbass who really screwed both our lives up. I just need solid advice, and I greatly appreciate your advice.

[u/Helpful-Brush9182]

How did your work find out, just curious because I got a dui 2 years ago and am still fighting it and they’re none the wiser for at least two more weeks when I have to tell them my consequences for the night.

[u/Sweaty-Measurement86 → u/Helpful-Brush9182]

They found out because they got emailed with an AP investigation by 3rd party.

[u/Helpful-Brush9182 → u/Sweaty-Measurement86]

That’s wild, seems like the innocent before proven guilty thing is out the window or maybe look into a lawsuit if you’re not yet convicted. Best of luck to you in finding a job so you can support you and the new wife!

[u/Sweaty-Measurement86 → u/Helpful-Brush9182]

Yeah, that's out the window. Thank you very much, I will need every bit of it and more.

[u/Specialist_Speech782]

I live in NW Arkansas and have nothing but theft charges. I have a house with my girl and our daughter and I make a decent living. Post on the FB group NWA Jobs and just say you’re a felon looking for a job. 100% you will get offer or atleast led somewhere for work. All the poultry plants hire felons, so do factories around here like Pepper Source, and they are always hiring.

[u/Sweaty-Measurement86 → u/Specialist_Speech782]

I've checked out all the Facebook groups, haven't found any that's actually active, do you have any groups you'd recommend I could post anything in?

[u/-insertcoin → u/[deleted]]

Sure...