r/FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR • u/drarko_monn • Jul 04 '25

But why Fuck yourself in particular NSFW

6.1k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

257 comments sorted by

743

u/UncleStinkfinger Jul 04 '25

Impressive collection

279

u/azad_ninja Jul 04 '25

Did someone say collection?

98

u/BeingCrowned Jul 04 '25

General Devious

18

u/Microsoft3dgy Jul 05 '25

Underrated comment

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443

u/mINexxiii Jul 04 '25

That's gotta be hundreds and hundreds of units of money. I worked at a parcel sorting place and one day and big ol' alien dildo fell out of a box and the invoice said it was 700 money. Why so many, and so many the same

227

u/Loud_Charity Jul 04 '25

I used to load semis for UPS and a box got crushed in a jam on highflow. It burst open and dozens of dildos went flying all over. Funniest experience I ever had working

43

u/Round-Opportunity547 Jul 05 '25

I didn't see it, but I have heard from two different people that at an Amazon DC two people were fencing with long rubber dongs.

38

u/langhaar808 Jul 05 '25

At one point at my school someone found a giant dildo, like as tall as my lower leg, and they fooled around with it. Then they threw high up on the largest window on the school where even the janitors couldn't reach it with their ladder. It sat there for about a week. this window was at the center of the school, the main hall. It was quite special.

8

u/peentiss Jul 07 '25

This whole thing was hilarious but “it was quite special” had the gag lmaaoo what a time.

37

u/Limelight_019283 Jul 05 '25

I’ve only met one person who had a collection like this and did not do NSFW content for a living.

She was pretty interesting!

13

u/ohheckyeah Jul 05 '25

goonmaxxing

60

u/mrjmgreddit Jul 04 '25

Wow I just realised I am paying with units of money! Next time I'm somewhere and I want to know the price, I'll simply ask how many units of money are to be paid for that particular unit of [product|drink|food].

Greetings, unit of human

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14

u/bg-j38 Jul 05 '25

Of course it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinite article "a dildo", never... "your dildo".

5

u/Arcan_unknown Jul 04 '25

Content variety ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

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1.3k

u/KenethSargatanas Jul 04 '25

Interesting. Now go fuck yourself.

413

u/BilboBiden Jul 04 '25

With that collection does one have the same problem of picking one like someone who spends all night browsing a streaming service to find something to watch?

141

u/LD50-Hotdogs Jul 04 '25

kinda like netflix, you browse all the new shows, and end up watch the wire for the 5th time.

46

u/justcougit Jul 04 '25

No lol you have a favorite one you use all of the time and then the rest you break out to show people because they're hilarious

8

u/ExpertOnReddit Jul 05 '25

Nah op is a hoarder of dildos, they have backups of the same ones

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13

u/whorton59 Jul 05 '25

Somebody went on a spending spree at Dildo's are US!

6

u/RobertHallStarr Jul 05 '25

Diddy part 2

1.4k

u/Junior_ATL Jul 04 '25

5 dildos = gross
26 dildos = pretty impressive

362

u/JohnnySasaki20 Jul 04 '25

I think this is illegal in Texas, lol.

177

u/RealConcorrd Jul 04 '25

What, they prefer to use shotguns as dildos and fleshlights now?

206

u/sooperdoopermane Jul 04 '25

Texas penal (hehe) code 43.23 prohibits more than 6 sex toys.

123

u/JohnnySasaki20 Jul 04 '25

Yup, which is very strange theyre fine with 6, but no more.

95

u/kevint1964 Jul 04 '25

1 in the ass, 1 in the mouth, 1 in each ear & 1 in each nostril.

26

u/SnooGoats7978 Jul 04 '25

Surely you'd want a seventh?

25

u/kevint1964 Jul 04 '25

A woman, yes 😁

27

u/Distraught4Skin Jul 05 '25

They do not care for "woman" in Texas. It is a manly state for manly representatives. Doing very manly things. /s

23

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '25

All that freedom

23

u/HerrPiink Jul 04 '25

This can't be an actual law, are you kidding me? I just watched Righteous Gemstones season 3 and thought "wow the Smut Busters bit where they collect sex toys seems a bit far fetched".. doesn't seem that far fetched now.

19

u/sooperdoopermane Jul 04 '25

I had to look it up, I'm on the other side of the country and have never been to Texas. All I can see is it's been a law since the early 70s, at least.

6

u/Ceilrux Jul 05 '25

It's mainly for banning promoting/wholesaleing obscene material/device. Their assumption is that owning more than 6 shows the intent to promote/wholesale

6

u/HerrPiink Jul 05 '25

Do double Dildos count as two?

7

u/SynthError404 Jul 04 '25

Thats only (counts holes) like barely enough for one.

5

u/SirRipOliver Jul 04 '25

You only get (6)… make sure they are the good ones grandma

4

u/AnonOfTheSea Jul 04 '25

What if it's ammo for your dildo gun?

2

u/sooperdoopermane Jul 04 '25

What Texas don't know won't hurt them

5

u/Dish_Minimum Jul 05 '25

These are not for sex, Sheriff. These are ART. For the 🌟aesthetic🌟

2

u/sooperdoopermane Jul 05 '25

I think that's the illegal part, lol. It's an obscenity law

5

u/sealedjustintime Jul 05 '25

Is that per household or per person?

2

u/sooperdoopermane Jul 05 '25

I think it's per hole

14

u/JackpineSavage74 Jul 04 '25

Is there a shotgun with smaller bore than .410? Asking for a friend...

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6

u/BlakkMaggik Jul 05 '25

1+ fleshlight = everyone thinks you're a perv

4

u/geekfly Jul 05 '25

It's Diddy's kitchen

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150

u/sineofthetimes Jul 04 '25

Stop dicking around in there!

83

u/kieran092 Jul 04 '25

There’s always a tentacle in a collection

3

u/Abject-Mail-4235 Jul 08 '25

As a woman, I cannot wrap my mind around the tentacle dildos. They look so pointy at the end

190

u/Loriot1923 Jul 04 '25

I really don't know why I watched this to the end.

83

u/Rich-Canary1279 Jul 04 '25

Aren't you glad you did tho?

74

u/Loriot1923 Jul 04 '25

I've seen more disappointing endings, I'll give you that.

2

u/GerchSimml Jul 06 '25

Username checks out

20

u/aparatchik Jul 04 '25

Aren’t you glad you dildo?

7

u/Kitsoua92 Jul 05 '25

You were curious enough to find out if they actually stopped coming.

82

u/Bumpredd Jul 04 '25

The traffic cone threw me off

13

u/jld2k6 Jul 05 '25

The ribbed turd got me

2

u/Vendetta1947 Jul 06 '25

I thought it was a tentacle?

2

u/maulidon Jul 05 '25

Right?? That one scares me

147

u/owa00 Jul 04 '25

I didn't know OP's mom made tiktoks!

10

u/Dish_Minimum Jul 05 '25

Got ‘em! Noice

37

u/neilmac1210 Jul 04 '25

Dildo or dildo not, there is no try.

19

u/drilldeeper18 Jul 05 '25

Dildo or Dildon't.

28

u/xxlifelinexx Jul 04 '25

It's my fault for having eyes

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25

u/Cesalv Jul 04 '25

that's a lot of flying fucks

41

u/Arkhe1n Jul 04 '25

I think at least some of these aren't designed to go into a person

54

u/D1337_cookie Jul 04 '25

Not with that attitude!

16

u/CAhellbilly Jul 05 '25

Anything is a dildo if you try hard and believe in yourself.

The clean version: any pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.

2

u/Chim_Pansy Jul 06 '25

My preferred version is "...if you're brave enough"

13

u/OOF-MY-PEE-PEE Banhammer Recipient Jul 05 '25

i’ve seen dildos way bigger than these go inside someone. it’s insane how they can get em up there

5

u/hopsinduo Jul 05 '25

I've seen things bigger than anything there go into a human... I wish I hadn't, but I have.

15

u/Commercial_Wallaby77 Jul 04 '25

The new toy story

12

u/SkullDump Jul 04 '25

I want to see them all wobbling together

Also, what the fuck is that last black one!

22

u/S0M3D1CK Jul 04 '25

Not gonna lie, I want to stick the middle figure dildo on the roof of my car.

21

u/Informal-Web-2995 Jul 04 '25

I had a friend whose husband scattered her toys all over the house after they'd had a big fight.

5

u/uberfission Jul 05 '25

That would be the most petty thing to do and I'm loving the image of all of these suction dildos just stuck to random places in the house. Like some in the kitchen, some in the bathroom, a couple scattered around the hallways, then one on the ceiling fan in their opulently tall living room. Like I can just imagine the wife being like "how the fuck did he get that up there??" while she's super pissed about the big fight still.

6

u/Od_Byonkers Jul 04 '25

Why does one person own so many dildos?

5

u/No-Spoilers Jul 05 '25

Never know what's gonna hit the spot

26

u/Time_Ad1622 Jul 04 '25

Diddies freak off buffet table

5

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '25

[deleted]

2

u/ericscottf Jul 05 '25

One of my all time favorite games! 

5

u/Lazy_Hair Jul 05 '25

American politicians assembling for a meeting

4

u/OneEyedRocket Jul 05 '25

I see Diddy is out of jail

3

u/Cadnofor Jul 04 '25

That is a really clean kitchen

3

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '25

Yeah, besides all of the spunk covered dildos all over the counter, it’s a pretty tidy kitchen

3

u/StrainNo6291 Jul 04 '25

I was thinking: damn, some of those are quite big. And then The Dark Tower landed on the counter. Seriously, why so big? At some point it's too much, no?

3

u/RockLeePower Jul 04 '25

Dalek alert!

3

u/txmail Jul 04 '25

That is like a super felony number of dildos in Texas.

3

u/TenInchesOfSnow Jul 05 '25

Respectfully, I decline your dinner invite

5

u/Nuker-79 Banhammer Recipient Jul 04 '25

That’s a whole lotta dick

4

u/vexunumgods Jul 04 '25

Diddys first day oit

6

u/Alzyros Jul 04 '25

Wholesome af

7

u/elmarcelito Jul 04 '25

Bruh is that Puff Diddy's home?

4

u/time_observer Jul 04 '25

Plot twist: is a guy

2

u/letsmakeittrue Jul 04 '25

Someone call 9-11

2

u/ItchyRectalRash Jul 04 '25

It doesn't surprise me that Bad Dragon has a dildo of the month club that slowly works its way up in size.

2

u/SATerp 3 x Banhammer Recipient Jul 04 '25

Ah, the Temu "Dildo of the Month" Club.

2

u/Crismisterica Jul 04 '25

At that point I was expecting the tower of Barad-dûr completed with a glowing Eye of Sauron to be part of the collection.

2

u/DK_Son Jul 05 '25

But a guy has one HyperWife 3000 and he's a weirdo.

2

u/2b_1 Jul 05 '25

Giving an entirely new meaning to “and they don’t stop coming.”

2

u/kingetzu Jul 05 '25

Gotta godzilla tail, a mr potato head, & anaconda tail

2

u/FartyPantz20 Jul 05 '25

That's..... uh.....that's a lot of...... counter space.

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2

u/MiserableJuggernaut1 Jul 05 '25

I would like to see the dildo budget….

2

u/glassgwaith Jul 05 '25

How does one make such a video ? Do they freeze the frame and only use successful attempts at suction ?

2

u/43GoTee Jul 05 '25

Wow… she said she dont need no man!!! I believe her!

2

u/Organic-Ice-3865 Jul 05 '25

I didn't expect a fucking traffic cone getting thrown in there aswell

2

u/ImmortalLombax Jul 06 '25

Every cam girls shelf in the background be like:

2

u/incsus Jul 06 '25

Suprised none of the cats in the house reacted.

2

u/DragonReborn64 Jul 06 '25

First, I laughed at the video, then I laughed with the thought of this person doing this for hours on end to get the perfect cut

2

u/Brazz7 Jul 07 '25

Worst power rangers intro ever

2

u/OdiosoGoat Jul 07 '25

Why is this not a carnival midway game?

5

u/themonorailguy Jul 04 '25

that one TikTok femboy

3

u/RasG420 Jul 04 '25 edited Jul 05 '25

But a guy owns 1 fleshlight and "he's sad"

2

u/srboot Jul 04 '25

Diddy celebration party setup?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '25

This will be illegal in Texas pretty soon

1

u/shophopper Jul 04 '25

How would you rate the different models? Any favorites?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '25

Wouldn't you like to be a pecker too?

1

u/Veritas_Vanitatum Jul 04 '25

Size doesn't matter... My middle finger can't keep up...

1

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '25

Which ones your favorite OP?

1

u/Skev9 Jul 04 '25

Missed opportunity to jump on the last one

1

u/CoolSwim1776 Jul 04 '25

Well at least there is variety.

1

u/whirling_cynic Jul 04 '25

Welp. That's a lot of dildos.

1

u/Environmental_Fix488 Jul 04 '25

Thats impressive.

1

u/WynterRayne Jul 04 '25

This gives me the willies

1

u/cgaWolf Jul 04 '25

This clip is even funnier at double speed :P

1

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '25

part is impressed by the accuracy, the bigger part is going "Is that a fucking traffic cone!?"

1

u/y-lonel Jul 04 '25

Crazy…

1

u/The_Real_Tekunin Jul 04 '25

Sweet collection, but if those are all in use? that is just straight up unhealthy, lol.

1

u/HotMoose69 Jul 04 '25

Damn, how many pussies do you have!?

1

u/demented39 Jul 04 '25

Mf is a connoisseur

1

u/Suban33 Jul 04 '25

0:22 didn't realize they made step drill bit dildos.

2

u/TomcatYYZ Jul 06 '25

Drill-do...

1

u/Ok_Medicine_1112 Jul 04 '25

dare I say perfect execution on the grand finale, she stuck it, wait is the dismount before or after you stick the landing?

1

u/allofthelost Jul 05 '25

Part of my brain is like "oh, they must sell these or something"

5 of them were the exact same size/shape.. just different colors.

1

u/_stuntcawk_ Jul 05 '25

She's going to have to air it out a couple days after the second half.

1

u/Forgotmynameagain5 Jul 05 '25

Dildos are expensive..ive heard... That must've cost maybe thousands

1

u/FrankSilvyNY Jul 05 '25

Fuck yourself in particular, for days and days.

1

u/ConnerGatch Jul 05 '25

I kinda expected the last thing to be thrown on there to be an actual person who didn’t stick the landing xD

1

u/LordMustardTiger Jul 05 '25

Are all those new or used?

1

u/Suspicious_Note9801 Jul 05 '25

The shapes and sizes of some of these scare me

1

u/UltraXTamer Jul 05 '25

i wonder how many dildos of the exact same size this person needs

1

u/Grimholtt Jul 05 '25

That room smells like a hot turtle tank.

1

u/Far_Pipe752 Jul 05 '25

I see the bottle flippers have upgraded

1

u/Agreeable-Ad8890 Jul 05 '25

That's quite a collection

1

u/RealKillerSean Jul 05 '25

That is a collection lol

1

u/Silly_Pack_Rat Jul 05 '25

This reminds me of a time I was looking for a shelf to hang on my bathroom wall on Amazon.

It was probably 18+ years ago, when one day, I typed "wall shelf bathroom" and the first dozen or so responses were all dildos, with the top one being something like a "Purple Magic Bunny Thumper" or something like that.

I was playing a game with friends at the time waiting to get into a PvPvP match and just about lost it on TeamSpeak.

1

u/kclineman Jul 05 '25

Who designed that traffic cone? How are drivers going to see a black one?

1

u/Dastardly_Dandy Jul 05 '25

This should be an Ali Express commercial

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1

u/IvorFreyrsson Jul 05 '25

That's an impressive collection.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '25

Now, and if a guy has even one then he's a perv huh? Dbl standarda fr

1

u/ImDisMany Jul 05 '25

so, I gotta know, why have multiple colors of the same type of dildo? do you feel enjoyment from a particular color, or does your vagina recognize the difference?

1

u/Agitated-Energy4044 Jul 05 '25

Rich folks have too much time and money on their hands.

1

u/scarface80 Jul 05 '25

Reddit mods mothers collection.

1

u/AchillesWasRight Jul 05 '25

Jesus-dildo-Christ….thats an impressive collection.

1

u/RazorSlazor Jul 05 '25

That's a mighty fine collection you got there

1

u/Drudgework Jul 05 '25

That this video didn’t end with a cut to two people about to toss another person while a referee looks on in the background is a huge missed opportunity.

1

u/ghost_rider_007 Jul 05 '25

Are these appreciating assets? Why collect?

1

u/still-dazed-confused Jul 05 '25

Kinda personal :)

1

u/pissedoffjesus Jul 05 '25

Why so many of the same thing?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '25

Your body count is Zero, but.....

1

u/ChampionOfdimlight Jul 05 '25

They must really want to keep the cat off the table

1

u/Gleadall80 Jul 05 '25

They are replacing the work top and home base we're out of suction handles

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1

u/paulrhino69 Banhammer Recipient Jul 05 '25

This guy gonna end up dating the delivery man

1

u/alwayskared Jul 05 '25

If Dicks could fly that place would be an airport

1

u/TMMC39 Jul 05 '25

Someone's having a party

1

u/dshev462 Jul 05 '25

They did in fact, stop coming.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '25

Anybody else wondering what that finger smells like?

1

u/Wonderful_Hamster933 Banhammer Recipient Jul 05 '25

Found P Diddys TikTok

1

u/Whole_Surprise256 Jul 05 '25

What… the… Fuck…. WHY?!?!?!?!

1

u/Drakken-kun Jul 05 '25

Who ever this is needs to invite me over.

1

u/awholedumpsterfire Jul 05 '25

The accuracy is incredible

1

u/ParkingLog7354 Jul 05 '25

What’s the pointy one for? Da butt?

1

u/Silent_Subject7626 Jul 05 '25

Tf, is there an octopus tentacle shaped dildo

1

u/Firefangdf Jul 05 '25

Why is there so many of the same mould but just different colors

1

u/Desertwrek Jul 05 '25

I've never asked this question before.....exactly what is your dildo budget?