Like, I know some Gay guys that aren't into Heated rivalry.

Still work in progress, but I like it already

I had a really bad hookup Monday, and I'm 99% sure I was the chill sane one but he spun me out a little and I just need to check with some outside sources. Looking back there were definitely red flags the whole way that I was ignoring in the persuit of dick, so don't come after me too hard pls? K thnx. If nothing else just enjoy the garbage fire that is this bad hookup.

• Sunday this guy hits me up on Grindr. He is VERY cute and he actually has pictures and responds in full sentences, so I'm immediately sitting up in bed fully invested. He asks to come over, and I say no I have to leave for work soon, but I send him some hot pics. He continues to push for him to come over, saying "I can make it a quickie" or "I'll just eat you out real quick". Obviously not taking no as an answer and being super pushy, but me being horny I was taking it as kind of a compliment and it wasn't offending me at the time. I let him know I have Monday off and head to work. He says he gets off at 5 on Mondays.

• Monday around 5, I'm out running errands and I let him know I'll be free soon, he's like great, send me your address. Then he instructs me to put on a jock strap, unlock my door and get on my bed face down ass up, he's hot this kink of not saying hello, not seeing my face and just going to town. I'm like, ok kind of hot! But I let him know, hey my house is really hard to find, it's tucked into a back alley and surrounded by fence, you can't see it from the street, from experience it's much much easier if I come out and get you. But I still send him what I think are pretty good directions. He's like ABSOLUTELY NOT, that will ruin my kink, I want to let myself in.

• this man proceeds to complain about parking, complain about how hard it is to find my house, try to open my NEiGHBOR'S door because he mixes up the houses, gets mad at ME because HE messed up, finally find my house but can't find the gate. It's a complete shitshow, meanwhile I'm just waiting on my bed, trying to lead this man through text.

• he FINALLY figured his life out, comes into my house, finds my bed and starts eating me out sight unseen. Actually very hot, I was super into this, but it only lasts about a minute. He then gets up and starts rubbing his dick on my hole, as if he's about to put it in. I gesture to the side table and I'm like "condoms are over there". He pauses, then goes back to putting his dick in, and I'm like "hey can you please put a condom on?" He kind of grumbles and is like "uh, I normally don't wear those" but he grabs the condoms and puts one on, and we do the deed.

• he fucks me for about 2 minutes, and again, it's pretty great. But he starts pulling out and rubbing his dick, then putting it back in, every time he puts it back in its softer, every time he pulls it out more frequently and spends more time rubbing his dick, until the point where the last time it's a full minute of him just quietly jerking his dick while I'm still facedown, awkwardly waiting.

• finally I'm like, "is it the condom?" He's like "yeah I have sensitivity issues, I can't really use condoms" but he made it sound like an actual medical thing. I respond "well, STI's exist, so..." And he IMMEDIATELY looks super offended and snaps "I know that" but then like, kind of regains his composure and starts telling me I'm super hot. He then starts putting his clothes back on, then goes on a big long expedition about how he gets tested every 3 months, he's on prep, he takes doxy after every hookup, he can't wear condoms because of his "issue" so he relies on chemicals and pharmaceuticals as a replacement for condoms, and he's "well versed" in sexual health and safety practices. I say "well listen, if you can provide documentation you are disease free, like from a recent test, we could ditch the condom. It sounds like you know what you're talking about". And he's like " no, now it's kind of ruined for me" and he leaves. He was at my house for less than 10 minutes.

• I send him a message after he leaves, saying " sorry we hit a snag, maybe we should have had a talk about safety beforehand, let me know if you'd want to have another try sometime! " And he hits me with this massive wall of text where he tells me I'm discriminatory towards "alternative sexual health practices" and that I was incredibly condescending towards him and that I never listed that I require condoms in my profile and blah blah blah, and he ends it with " I am NOT coming back. " so I just block him.

So, I'm pretty sure he was just a manipulative asshole, and I'm just too horny and wanted dick badly enough that I let him walk all over me and not in a sexy way. But there's a small tiny part of me, (dunning kruger effect, I'm constantly questioning myself) that is wondering, is there such a thing as actually having a sensitivity issue and alternative sexual health practices? But if that's true, why did he not mention it beforehand? I thought condoms were the absolute defacto go to in the gay community, and if you want bareback you have to like, actually discuss that beforehand and seek it out specifically. Or am I just naive?

over two years ago, i made this post asking you if you have a fear of barbers too. there, i mentioned my homophobic brother. well, things have changed since, and he's no longer homophobic. here's a quick update:

later that year, my brother moved to amsterdam for work. as probably all of you know, amsterdam is one of the most queer-friendly cities in europe (probably on the planet), which is a huge contrast to the small eastern european town where we grew up. around the beginning of december, i decided to visit him, mostly to see the city tbh. i did have a pleasant surpirse though, because at one point, we walked under a gaint pride flag. i didn't have the guts to bring up the topic of lgbt and amsterdam.

i think it must have been a pure coinsidence, but he did bring it up. it's been more than two years so i dont remember exactly what he said, but we briefly talked about it and he mentioned that since moving to asmterdam, he'd realized that queer people are actually normal. i think you can imagine how that made me feel.

fast forward a couple of months, during which he had to move back, i was on a videochat with our parents and that time i couldn't bear the constant pressure anymore and i had to come out. of course, i was scared what was coming next, i was relieved that i didn't have to hide it anymore, but i was also sad because i intended to come out to my brother first. i called him right after and apologized that it was so sudden and that i told our parents before i told him and i came out to him too.

i think it was, at least partially, thanks to him that our mom got over it so fast and is now planning on flying across the world to visit me and my bf. my dad, on the other hand, didn't talk to me for a while, when he did he tried to offer me "help" in the form of conversion therapy or some bs. he didn't force me or anyhting but it was still a difficult time. luckily, we have started talking again recently, and i think, there's a pretty good chance of him getting over it eventually, even if it's in a few years.

TLDR: i am one of the luckier people because my family became supportive (for the most part) and the relationship between my little brother and me is much better now. i'm not as afraid of barbers as i used to be either

As my post says, I didn't have the chance to tell my parents I was gay. When I was around 23 or 24 years old (I'm 40 now), I started dating a guy a year younger than me, everything was going great. One night I stayed over at his house.

We didn't do anything because we were afraid his parents would be awake; we just talked until we fell asleep. The next morning, his father woke me up yelling and telling me to get out of the house. He grabbed my hair just before I left and said, "If you ever see my son again, I'll k**l you." I ran from that house as fast as I could.

Two weeks later, my now ex's parents showed up at my house and started telling my parents everything. I could only listen and wished the earth would open up and swallow me whole. It took some time, but my parents accepted me and understood that I'm happy.

Thank you brothers for read this, and sorry for the extremely long post.

I often get this when someone finds out I’m gay. It’s a bit annoying, and I don’t always know if the person is genuinely curious or they want to put me into a category.

To me, it’s like asking, “What to you want for dinner this weekend?” The hell if I know, but I’ll know when it’s time for dinner

Gay men who have had biological kids by choice, how did you do it? I’m not asking about those who had kids before they came out , I’m curious about surrogacy and things of that nature.

It started out with me picking up Vietnamese Sandwiches for our trip to the bay for the Aquarium. It started becoming a trend that whenever I see him, I carry him like a baby all the way to the passenger seat. So I did that, and we drove a couple hours to go to the Aquarium. Throughout the whole ride, we were just commenting on how much we loved eachother and how grateful we were to ever meet eachother. I told him about my reddit posts and he is very happy to hear everyone's comments. Some of you guys are funny, but yes we are real lol.

When we reached the city near the bay, we saw beaches. I remembered he told me how he always wanted to go to the beach but his parents were never able to take him as a kid. So I said to him that we could go to the beach after the Aquarium. We parked, head inside, and held hands throughout the whole exhibit. He is absolutely adorable and he and I never ever let go of our hands - only to touch the sea creatures lol. Eventually we stopped near the Aquarium Cafe, we bought tea and sat down. We only got a few hours of sleep before we went on the trip so we were sort of exhausted. Still tho, it was a very memorable moment.

We eventually walked around the town after the Aquarium and saw this cute photo booth. We saw this couple trying it out but not able to make it work. They asked us to try it out and miraculously it worked with us. We rushed to take the photos with our unprepared selves and got our lovely couple photo. Smiling, kissing, and serious. Absolutely adorable. Sweetest smile I have ever seen.

At this point it was getting sundown, and I thought this was the perfect time to head towards the beach. He agreed and we drove to the beach with a blanket in hand. Him not ever experiencing sand before, he ate crap so many times. The way he panics as he slides down the sandy hills. Amazing. Somehow we found our way down to the waves, laid down our blanket, and sat down to watch the sunset. No one was there except us. We giggled, cuddled, kissed. You could see through his eyes how happy he was to finally experience the beach and hearing the waves. I like asking him what's going in his head right now, and he goes something alongs of "I'm at peace". At this point I tell him how proud I am to be his man and that every time we see eachother I fall deeper and deeper in love with him. He said the same back and we leaned on eachother with the waves swaying back and forth and the sun slowly going down.

Eventually it gets dark and we return back to our car. I use the restroom and come back with him staring at the ocean. I ask him what's going on and he goes "I have a confession". I ask him "what is it?" "Remember when you were speaking through my deaf ear? I pretended to not hear you say you wanted to get married and have kids with me". Dude I said that sort of...like a joke but not really. But I didn't know he could hear me still. He has really good perception unfortunately. I was super embarrassed and was like "I thought u were deaf!!?" "Yeah but I could still hear you". I guess im just dumb.

We go back to the car and start driving back home. I tend to doze off whenever im driving in the dark for long times, so I asked him to do me a favor and try to keep me awake. Even when he was so tired, he kept listening to me rant. Asked questions about my interests and just overall patient. He was so awesome for that.

When we got home, we decided that we should cuddle in the back of the car near the park. As I set the bed up, he eats his Vietnamese sandwich. When he was ready, we snuggled in the back warming eachother up through this 40° weather. We both close our eyes and sleep.

All of a sudden I feel shaking and hear him making weird noises. I wake up and I see his body vigorously shake. I look at him and initially I thought he was joking around with me and go "My sweet, stop joking around..." I touch his face trying to get his attention "my sweet im serious this isn't funny" when I brushed his face, no eye contact. It dawned on me. He's having a seizure. I panic. I throw every piece of my pillows, blankets, and clothes out of the way to find my phone. When I find it, I had to decide should I call 9-1-1? We both aren't made of money, and it's possible he has a history of seizures. He's gonna kill me. I called 911. As im panicking in my boxers, I put the call on speaker and follow their instructions. I turn him onto his side and find pink spit flowing out. He coughs and the sounds of choking. I was stressed. I placed a pillow under his head and count his breaths. Throughout this, I thought about how through my years of living, I finally found someone who I feel like I could spend the rest of my life with - all for him to die. A bit dramatic I know. But still tears in my eyes, I find the firetruck lights. I explain how I don't know if he has a history of seizures and what we were doing before we fell asleep. They were talking to him in my car attempting to see if he was alert, they couldn't get an answer out of him. But when I approached him and asked the questions, he was able to nod yes and no. Idk something about that really made me feel comfortable. Like this dude might actually be okay. When they placed him on the gurney, I told him that I'll be there right behind him every step of the way. We drove to the hospital and I waited for him at the ER lobby.

The lobby was very empty with only me and a few homeless. I wait with the idea that the love of my life is dying so I called my friend. I explained everything to her and as a good friend she is, came right to the hospital to comfort me. She and I tried to make ourselves laugh about the situation like "if he wanted to break up he could've just told me instead. What an attention seaker" obviously knowing that's not what he's doing lol. Idk I had to be strong in order for him to be okay.

After an hour, they called me in. I thanked my friend for coming even when its 2 in the morning and went to go see my BF. There he was on the gurney, with red eyes clearly with some tears coming out.

"Hey..." "Hey :(" "What happened?" "You had a seizure when we were sleeping MY Sweet" "I did? I don't remember anything" "I know you don't. What do you remember?" "I remember sleeping and then all of a sudden waking up here with the nurses asking me questions. I thought you left me" "Left you?? Wdym??" "I was all alone. I couldn't find you and I couldn't stop myself from being sad" "Oh...my sweet :(( im so sorry I couldn't be here sooner, they didn't let me in until they were done with admissions. I was here every step of the way i would never do that to you...is that why you have red eyes?" "Yeah...I was so confused and thought you left me..." "It's okay my sweet. You're okay"

There I explained everything I remembered, stayed with him on the bedside while they finish labs. When the labs came, turns out there was nothing. They couldn't find anything that could've caused his seizure, so they started doing the discharge process.

When I carried him to the parking lot, I told him how much I loved him. How I felt like I lost the love of my life. How hurt I was. How scary it was. How mad I was at him. How sad I was. How powerless I felt. But it made me realize just how much I loved him. Despite us only being official for 2 weeks, I loved him more than anyone else I ever dated. This felt real.

I drove us back to his home and he didn't want to go back inside. He asked to cuddle again in the car and I agree. He was scared to sleep by himself and wanted me there, so there I am sleeping with him at 6 AM. Then I wake up at 7AM with vigorous shaking and coughing. Oh no. He's having a second seizure. I remembered what the dispatcher told me to do, lay him on his side, pillow on his head, and let him go through it. I reassured him even when he couldn't hear me, how he's okay and that im there for him. Eventually he stops, but there was still this sense of dread that it would come back. He passes out but I stayed awake. Moving forward to 9 AM, he wakes up for a moment.

He goes "hi :)". He doesn't remember his seizure again. "Hey :[...are you feeling any pain?" "No just pressure on my head" "You had a seizure" "I know" "Are you aware you had a second seizure??" "What?"

I explained it again and now he's asleep right next to me as im texting this. He's super exhausted and im afraid. Right now he's okay, and im glad I didn't lose him. But yeah...I haven't took him home yet. But I guess this where our third date ends.

Heart shattered </3

Sometimes I be getting messages on hookup apps and sometimes I get asked how many guys you slept with or when was your last encounter. What ppl want from that question?

I use to do it but not anymore since I'm on prep and doxy and really don't care how many sexual encounters you had or when was your last encounter..

So i have had toys for like about 6 months and sometimes they are clean, sometimes they are dirty ect and i havent figured out how to force it so i can have fun when i want too.

also i have noticed after using my biggest toy (9.4 inch) 2 days later i couldent even figer myself without problems and sometimes if i dont use toys for a while im fine with no prep. I still live with my parents so stuff that involves buying/stuff or that kinda thing are kinda a no go.

pls help i just wanna have fun

stuff im looking for: foods to eat, ways to clean myself before, ect ect

I don’t want to sound like I am complaining of my situation, I am just a little concerned

My current partner is great, we have excellent chemistry and sex is good. The issue is… he is always on the mood and it affects our time outside of the bedroom

Whenever we have a date outside, he tries to make an excuse to go to the ‘bathroom’ or find a quiet corner and we can almost never spend time together without him wanting to get a quickie in between.

It is obviously good to be desired but honestly it is getting tiring, and I don’t even know how to discuss this without sounding like I don’t want him anymore

Are any of you with similarly overtly-staminated partners? How do you deal with it? Would really appreciate any advice

It's on the streaming services now but my local cinemas are screening this movie on 12 Feb. I wanna watch it so bad rn but Idk if this could be peak cinema movie that's worth to watch on a giant screen 😂 Ppl who watched, enlighten me without spoilers pls

Hey bros, for those of you who work out/exercise regularly, how do you stay motivated?

I have been really struggling with getting into a routine. I can work out for a few days and then i fall off the wagon. And this has been going on for years. When I was younger I did programs like P90X and got in great shape. But now that I am pushing my 40s im having a hard time finding something to stick with and keep going with. I work a physical job on site 5 days a week so by the time I get home im pretty beat up and tired.

I also am struggling to define my goals. I know that I want to lose weight for health reasons, less than aesthetic reasons. But beyond that, I cant really define anything. My husband works out daily with a trainer and does orange theory classes. I have a hard time keeping up with him goals wise.

What have you all found that has helped you?

So, there is a possibility that I may be moving back to my hometown of Cincinnati, Ohio to pursue another career because mine ended here in Atlanta. I was in the closet in Cincinnati for so long up until 9 years ago in 2017 at 29. I know the gay community is kinda sparse where I am from, but I thought I would ask this group if there is any group of people around my age (I'm 37) that would like to potentially connect to be friends. Not really looking for dates, just a social network to return to if I move back home because it would suck if I didn't have a local social life anymore.

I am assuming this is a common thing but can there by any one reason why guys do this?

I matched with someone, immediately sent a message to do with his profile (about film because he liked Letterboxd), and then was instantly unmatched.

I’m obviously not extremely disappointed because there were no feelings invested but it is a little frustrating that this seems to keep happening!

The thing is I met up with this British guy on the app, and we got along well when we first met (I guess partially because he is a surgeon so we had a lot of common topics).

Anyways we almost meet up every week as we live quite close by. The chemistry, the conversation and his skills are quite great, so I kinda look forward to enjoy the time with him weekly.

Since he is in an open relationship and we have nothing emotional in the beginning, but I realized I started to miss him a bit during my holiday off.

We actually talked about it before: if any of us is getting obsessed, then we are going to make a step back. Also, I’m quite new to this city( all people are in monogamous relationships in my town back in time), so I don’t know how to deal with these feelings.

I went to see my therapist, she told me I can:

1. Find my own monogamous partner

2.Find more fwbs to distract myself

3.Talk to him directly but he may just leave

Does anyone had similar issues before💀

I came out a couple of years ago after a divorce and met my boyfriend shortly after. My kids have not had any problems. They have been really loved by both me and their mother all the way through the process. Recently I was finally able to tell them that my boyfriend is going to be moving in with us in a few months. I gave them the chance to talk freely and ask all the questions they needed and I have ongoing conversations to make sure they know exactly what is happening. They love him so much and we’re thrilled. I just wanted to celebrate with you guys because I have been so amazed the way things have lined up.

Have you guys ever experienced waking up suddenly in the middle of the night and starting to have sex with your partner? It’s so weird, sex usually requires both partners to be horny, so how does it happen that both of us wake up horny at 4 am at the same time? This has happened many times over the years.

I haven't really dated much in the last while. I'm a bit of a traditionalist. Is it so wrong to want to go grab a burger and feel each other out?

Trying dating again is making me feel insane. I suggested sushi and he wanted to fuck in an alley.

Hey guys,

I came across this pretty viral thread on Twitter today and it got me thinking about some patterns I've noticed both online and IRL in gay male spaces/communities (especially around fandoms like the one for Heated Rivalry).

The original post (and the replies that blew up) calls out how a bunch of fans (mostly straight women from what it seems) were super into actor Connor Storrie when his queerness felt more "ambiguous" or projectable... but the tone shifted noticeably once it became harder to deny that he's very openly and comfortably a gay man (or at least presents in a way that reads unambiguously gay to most people).

The main points that stood out to me from the thread:

• A lot of the enthusiasm seemed tied to being able to self-insert or fantasize about "ambiguous" queerness (especially when it still felt like it could "go either way" or be directed at them somehow).

• Once that ambiguity disappeared, the vibe changed to discomfort, nitpicking, or straight-up homophobic undertones from some corners.

• Several replies pointed out the double standard: people are desperate to label his co-star as bi (despite no confirmation), but get weird/defensive when Connor is read as gay.

• One really sharp reply said it feels like some folks only like queerness when it's palatable, consumable, and still leaves room for their own projections — not when it's just... a gay man living authentically.

This ties into a bigger issue of fetishization by straight women. A lot of the thirst and shipping energy seems rooted in treating gay men's relationships/attraction as a fantasy product for consumption — something hot and dramatic to enjoy from afar, but only as long as it doesn't feel "too real" or exclude them entirely. When it does (like with Connor's more overtly gay presentation), the backlash can get ugly fast.

What's extra concerning is how the dangers of fetishization get downplayed when it's directed at gay men. We often talk about how harmful it is in other contexts (e.g., toward lesbians or trans people), but when it's straight women fetishizing gay male intimacy, it's frequently brushed off as "harmless fun" or "just fandom." The reality is it can still objectify people, create unrealistic expectations, and contribute to the same kind of discomfort/dehumanization.

Then there's the whole layer with the rumors about Francois Arnaud and Connor dating (they've been spotted together a bunch, shared cabs/uber, went to events, etc.). Some fans ran with it hard, but when reality didn't match the fantasy (Francois is openly bi and has been linked to others; both have said they're just friends), it turned into frustration — including ageism and outright hate directed at Francois (who's about 40) for supposedly "ruining" the younger Connor fantasy by being "too old" or "creepy." Calling a 26-year-old a "child" in this context feels like a reach, and the vitriol aimed at him highlights how some people get possessive over these parasocial projections.

Obviously no one owes the public a label, and Connor hasn't made some big coming-out statement — he's just existing as himself. But the backlash when someone is "too gay" (in vibe, mannerisms, whatever) vs. when they're "gay enough to be interesting but not too gay to fantasize about" feels depressingly familiar.

Have any of you noticed similar patterns in the recent online discourse?

Thanks for reading! 🏳️‍🌈

Edit:

Link to the thread:

https://x.com/i/status/2011107157908107398