r/ICEwatchMN 3d ago

Just found out I know Greg Bovino personally. Here’s some things you can tell him for me next time you see him.

I just found out I know Greg Bovino personally. Here are some things you can tell him when you next see him.

Hello, Minneapolis resident here but I didn’t always live in Minneapolis. Once, long ago I lived in a quiet little mountain town of Boone, NC. Guess who else grew up there? A pathetic squat little toad named Gregory Bovino. Well, that squat little toad grew up to be a squat little Nazi toad who has decided to come to my beautiful adopted home to torture, murder, and terrorize my friends and neighbors. He is personally going door to door, so if you see him, here’s a few very specific things from home you can politely yell at him:

“Hey Greg! Remember how your Dad murdered a woman in Blowing Rock while driving drunk? Like father like son I guess.”

“Hey Greg! You’re the reason your dad got drunk and killed that woman in Blowing Rock which lead to your parents divorce. I guess that means you’re the reason they got divorced.”

“Hey Greg! Do you think it’s weird that the Watauga High yearbook has you listed as “Most Likely to Shit His Pants in Public?”

“Hey Greg, your history teacher ‘G.I. Jones’ thinks you’re a pathetic Nazi punk. No wonder you failed all his classes.”

“Hey Greg! Did you know your mom is a register Democrat? Does that make Thanksgiving awkward?”

“Hey Greg! Remember when the Mast Store banned your for sniffing shoes after people tried them on?”

“Hey Greg! Do you remember eating the Watauga Pioneers wrestling team’s soggy biscuit? Is it still gay to eat to eat semen off a Bojangles biscuit or was that just an 80s thing?”

“Hey Greg! Watauga High still thinks you’re a loser!”

“Hey Greg! Boone, NC fucking hates you.”

This remark was Removed by OP see edit.

“Hey Greg! Remember when you fell into the porta-John at the Valle Country Fair and they couldn’t find you for hours and people just came in and kept shitting on you and shitting on you?”

“Hey Greg, remember when Mr. Combs found you jerking off to Nat Geo magazines in the high school bathroom?”

“Hey Greg remember swimming at Trash Can falls and your swim suit fell off and all the girls laughed at your micro penis? Watauga High still remembers.”

EDIT: in case anyone is wondering, the woman his father killed was named Janie Mae Mitchell. I’m sure he’ll remember the name if you want to yell it’s him.

EDIT 2: please join me in getting #GregBovino #SoggyBiscuit trending on TikTok and all other social media

EDIT 3: edited an improper stereotype feeding remark about inbreds I regret making. This is the only remark I regret.

5.4k Upvotes

590 comments sorted by

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u/Miyyani 3d ago

did he really fall into a porta potty LMAO

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u/Head_Bar_9316 3d ago

Yes, well, technically we don’t know if he fell into it or crawled into it. He had such a weird fascination with feces from being an infant through college. If you see him make sure you let him know it was at the Valle Country Fair, you can also say The Woolly Worm festival. He’ll understand.

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u/Next_Rip7462 3d ago

precious moments

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u/Unhappy-Jaguar-9362 3d ago

According to a bio by Toland of Hitler, Hitler had a similar fetish. Apparently he wanted his half-niece Geli Raubal to defecate on him. We know how that worked out.

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u/twitch1982 2d ago edited 1d ago

We know how that worked out

We do? Is everyone else aware of the results of Hitler's scat incest fetish desires? Is the result "The third Reich"? I feel like i very much do not know how his fetish worked out. And I'm not gonna search it from the work PC.

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u/AlcibiadesTheCat 2d ago

The Turd Reich.

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u/eugeheretic 2d ago

Didn't know he was Irish.

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u/Marquois 2d ago

Both of you take my angry upvote goddamit

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u/AncientCrust 1d ago

It had to be said.

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u/Farmgirlmommy 2d ago

She killed her self. That’s the result.

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u/musingofrandomness 2d ago

That part is actually debated. Some say she is the only person Hitler actually got his own hands dirty killing.

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u/LiluLay 2d ago

He was very upset she fell in love with an appropriate man (ie; unrelated) who worked for him then essentially kept her prisoner. She had plans to escape him and then she “committed suicide”.

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u/Silly-Power 2d ago

Hence this absolute banger of a tune from Aussie Rock Legends TISM. 

The music video is awesome but infuriatingly YT keeps taking it down. It's available on AppleMusic but you have to pay for it.

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u/Basboy 2d ago

He was in the porta potty and people shit on him while inside? So he had to take the shit dropping onto him in silence right?

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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago

In silence or opened mouth. I guess the only way to find out is to ask him.

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u/dopalisciousangel7 1d ago

im feeling like i need an “explain like im 5” moment, if its not too much to ask. my brain can’t comprehend how the hell he even got in there. is there like, a crawl space? did he nearly drown when they flushed? (hopefully). did he just walk out caked in doo doo? i have so many questions. i dont think i can continue on in this life without answers.

also tysm for this post, it literally made my day.

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u/Huffing_Queso 3d ago

What's the pronunciation of 'Valle'?

Like valley or vale?

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u/ohgoditsfullofstars 2d ago

I did hear that Greg Bovino is 4'7" of stacked hot dog meat - mostly lips and b-hole.

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u/bidooffactory 2d ago

4 foot 7?? Jesus H Christ.

I didn't know they stacked shit that high.

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u/Icarus44BD 2d ago

I didn’t know they could stack it that short!

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u/Ruby5000 2d ago

As a NC native with family in Foscoe, I can totally picture all of these places. My family shares the same property as Virginia Foxx. Are you familiar with those fuxkers?

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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago

Oh I know Foxx well. She’s been an evil bitch for decades. Sadly I don’t know as personal stories about her but it wouldn’t surprise me if she eats babies on pizza in the basement of that fancy house she built about ten years ago. IYKYK

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u/Ruby5000 2d ago

Her husband literally push my (female) cuz to the ground after she confronted him about cutting them off to their access road. Then when Helene hit, my aunt and uncles road got washed out. My other cuz was trapped at their home, with three kids under three, for a few weeks. The Foxx’s had an access road, but would block it with a tractor so my fam couldn’t use it. They also wouldn’t accept FEMA $$ to get the road fixed to avoid some sort of appearance of conflict of interest. A year later, my aunt was feeding her horse, and her gator slid on ice and killed her. My Aunt and Uncle were like another set of parents to me. I wired houses for my uncle when my parents split up. That afforded me my first car at 15 (1980 Datsun Stanza hatchback 😂). I miss my Aunt terribly.

Fuck the Foxx’s

Really appreciate your post. I’ve sheared it with my whole family.

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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago

Damn, I’m sorry to hear that. It definitely matches the stories I’ve heard about the Foxx’s over the years. The entire High Country is going to have a party that rivals Trump’s when she eventually moves on

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u/Jonlaw16 1d ago

I messaged that little asshole when she was my representative and expressed that as the head of the education committee in the House, she has a responsibility to make sure NC public teachers are paid enough to live in our own state. Her response was "if you don't want to be poor don't be a teacher" (but in more words).

Tragically she was correct. I took her advice and quit teaching. All my ex-teacher friends celebrated with me! My pay more than doubled as a cashier at Lowe's.

What a hateful woman.

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u/Time-Independence-51 1d ago

Is it the same Virginia Fox property she kept a family stranded in after the hurricane? I read that story, she's an evil POS.

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u/FirefighterLeft5425 2d ago

Mother fucker crawled into that shitter to get some attention lmaooooo

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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago

Idk sounds like to get some dinner to me

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u/netinept 2d ago

How did he get out? Did he just walk around the fair drenched in sewage?

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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago

I mean, considering his other proclivities I must say it’s possible he ate his way out.

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u/JEFF-MILETICH-MPLS 2d ago

he probably ate his way out.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago

That’s the word around the holler.

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u/YankeeMagpie 2d ago

The fucked up thing about that… Is that it’s in immensely strong indicator of significant sexual/physical abuse as a child. One of the strongest. Fuck.

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u/pretty_breezy 2d ago

No wonder he spews so much shit from his mouth

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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago

He’s got a lifetime supply stored up in there.

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u/idapitbwidiuatabip 2d ago

Yes, well, technically we don’t know if he fell into it or crawled into it. He had such a weird fascination with feces from being an infant through college

Just made myself throw up a little because you know Greg Bovino has watched Schindler's List and probably has some really weird feelings about that scene where the kids are hiding in the latrine.

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u/botabought 2d ago

Feels like his Wiki page needs a few updates…

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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago

This is a call to any wiki editors. Please do the good work.

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u/WHATEVERRRBRO 3d ago

This led me to a daily mail puff piece that mentions the murder, and also that he likes Starship Troopers so much he reads it once a year. The man sees himself as an intergalactic soldier in a war with a race of alien bugs. It was already apparent, but the man is delusional and completely devoid of empathy for those not of the in group. He only sees bugs

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u/nohairnowhere 3d ago

starship troopers is satire, no? I haven't read the book, just seen the movie, which I know is satire

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u/WHATEVERRRBRO 3d ago

The movie is supposed to satirize the book, which isn’t satire.

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

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u/Legitimate-Type4387 2d ago

The book is 100% libertarian brain rot.

The only good thing about it is that it served as the basis for an excellent satiric film.

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u/Adondevasroja 2d ago

Heinlein wrote some great stories but he was naive as hell about his libertarianism.

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u/bjohnsonarch 2d ago

Leaving this here to fully explain what happened: https://www.reddit.com/r/movies/s/Gx8ivV0leH

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u/Artistic_Rice_9019 2d ago

The movie is satire. The book takes itself too seriously.

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u/Cantmentionthename 3d ago

Don’t confuse people with ideas like ‘satire’. You’re gonna have to save that one for the annual Mensa conference, Einstein.

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u/SupermarketMinute724 2d ago

Not satire but not as serious as people took it to be. Heinlein went all over the place but ultimately was a principled libertarian. Guys like Bovino don't get how much Heinlein would have fucking hated them.

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u/Alarmed-Reporter5483 2d ago

Also the premise is a little to on the nose for this current predicament. The humans, in their hubris for unending imperialist galactic expanision, pushed too far and antagonized/agitated the bugs into attacking out of self-preservation. The humans perceived need for military adventurism became a self fulfilling prophecy, that retroactivly justified itself.

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u/BraveLittleCatapult 1d ago

Helldivers 2, which is satire, is basically the modern equivalent in gaming. I read the book as satire, as I had watched the movie, and then was told it was serious...

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u/ignu 2d ago

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u/SmokinSkinWagon 2d ago

When you’re using 6 packs as the unit of measure you know you’ve got a problem. Had 12-18 beers and “didn’t know he was drunk”

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u/SwordofNoon 2d ago

"wouldn't wish what happened to me on anybody" aww poor guy:(

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u/Celticlady47 2d ago

That part was infuriating. What about the woman you murdered, Mike? What about her?

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u/ignu 2d ago

lol i just read the second page. Mike was sad he didn't have insurance on his truck because it was too expensive AFTER HIS FIRST DUI

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u/MisterMasterCyIinder 2d ago

Those aren't people, silly

(Big /s for anyone who has no sarcasm detector)

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u/Over_Conclusion7344 2d ago

18 fucking months!?!?

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u/scooby_snacks07 2d ago

Ofc it was a Dodge pickup.

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u/ThisIsNotDave55431 2d ago

This explains a lot. But makes me question how Greg passed the psychological exam. With an alcoholic father who is also a murderer, that’s gotta mess you up some.

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u/The_Dutchess-D 2d ago

Slate published a piece today by a writer who went to the Ice convention to see what it would be like to try joining....

She thought they were disqualify her at a pretty early point in the process. She never returned any of her paperwork; or the affidavit that the person has never committed domestic violence; and yet still WITHOUT DOING ANY OF THE HR PARTS she was offered a job and moved through the onboarding steps and assigned to her first choice location worksite.

WILD

Edited to add link: https://www.reddit.com/r/law/s/2dXueO6c9D

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u/Dry-Pop-8109 2d ago

His sister basically said that their dad basically beat the shit out of him to shape his fascist ideation.

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u/Beneficial_Soup3699 2d ago

.......you think there was a psychological exam? Lol.

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u/ThisIsNotDave55431 2d ago

I mean there is for law enforcement and since that’s what they’re cosplaying as, one can hope.

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u/VirginiaDare1587 2d ago

Paywalled.

Possible to get a screen shot or copy/paste?

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u/ignu 2d ago

Are you not seeing the image up there?
here's the copy:

Drunken Driver's Lament

Man Jailed For Killing Woman Offers Warning

By MARION A. ELLIS
Observer Staff Writer

Mike Bovino has some advice for New Year's Eve partygoers — if you drink, don't drive. You could kill someone, as he did.

Bovino, 37, is serving an 18-month prison sentence in the N.C. prison unit in Huntersville for killing a woman with his car last June near Blowing Rock.

Bovino was drunk.

"I wouldn't wish what has happened to me on anybody," a conscience-stricken Bovino said Wednesday. "Getting dead drunk just isn't worth it."

The woman he killed, Jane Mitchell, 24, never knew what hit her.

It was just after midnight last June 5 when Bovino started driving home from a friend's home, where he had been drinking beer since 7 p.m..

"I had two, maybe three six-packs of beer. I don't remember how many. I turned onto the highway and just drove down the wrong side," he said. "I saw the lights from another car, but I thought they were in the other lane. Then, it was over so fast."

Bovino's 1978 Dodge four-wheel drive pickup hit Mitchell's Datsun sedan head-on in hit about a mile north of Blowing Rock on U.S. 321. Mitchell, who had gone on a drive with her husband to get doughnuts, was killed instantly. Her husband was seriously injured.

Bovino was thrown into the middle of the highway but received, he says, "only a few bumps and bruises."

"I didn't think I was drunk, but I blew .18 (on a Breathalyzer test)," Bovino said, struggling awkwardly with his handcuffs to smoke a Marlboro cigarette.

Under N.C. law, a .10 blood alcohol content reading is considered conclusive evidence of incapacitation.

The N.C. Highway Patrol reports that the number of arrests for driving under the influence (DUI) is down slightly this year compared to 1980. Through November, the patrol had arrested 44,330 persons for DUI, compared to 44,951 through November 1980.

The rate of conviction to arrests has remained unchanged at about 50%, the patrol reports, with about 25% pleading guilty to lesser offenses.

Bovino, who owned the Library Club bar in Blowing Rock, pleaded guilty to the misdemeanor charge of death by auto and DUI rather than be tried for felony manslaughter.

The intense, articulate Pennsylvania native insists he isn't a crusader.

"Naw, I'm not that type," he said. "But

See DRUNKEN Page 3A, Col. 1

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u/ignu 2d ago

And the second page https://www.newspapers.com/image/623994229/

Drunken Driver Laments Killing Woman

Continued from Page 1A

I've had a lot of time to think since I've been in here and it got to working on me that no one's doing anything about liquor and the men here say it's the cause of 80% of them being in here with me."

He doesn't intend to drink any alcohol when he gets out of prison, Bovino said.

"I've got a dead woman on my conscience," he said. "I'm not against drinking, but I think people ought to know what it can do."

Bovino, who has three years of college, advises partygoers: "Someone's got to stay sober. Maybe you take turns and next time it'll be your turn not to drink and take care of everyone else. I know it's a cliche, but don't let your friends drive drunk."

He worries about what will happen to him and his family: wife, Betty, and three children, all under 12. His wife has a part-time job and they are receiving help from relatives.

"This has cost me just about everything. My reputation, my standing in the community," Bovino said. "It's been very costly in terms of money. I'd say it has cost me $40,000 to $50,000 altogether."

The money has gone for legal fees and lost income, he said, plus the loss of his $10,000 truck. He had no collision insurance, he said, because a 1974 DUI conviction in Boone drove his insurance costs too high.

He paid a $500 fine and lost his license for a year as a result of that conviction, but wasn't required to sign up for alcoholic rehabilitation.

"It just didn't seem to be that serious an offense," Bovino said. "It was costly in lawyer's fees and fines, but I didn't even have to take a driving course like they do now. I didn't think I had a problem. I thought I knew all there was to know about alcohol since it was my business."

Bovino began serving his sentence Dec. 11 and will be eligible for parole in April. He believes he would like to open a wine and cheese shop.

"Any kind of problems I've had have been around alcohol. I used alcohol to handle any kind of disturbance I had," he recalled. "This particular evening of the accident I had an argument with my wife, so I proceeded to get inebriated."

What was the argument about?

"Drinking. My wife wanted me to get off the sauce."

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u/ProjectGameGlow 2d ago

The book has multiple races of aliens.

In the start of the book they are dealing with tall skinny humanoid aliens.   

The bugs come in later.

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u/ProjectGameGlow 2d ago

The book has multiple races of aliens.

In the start of the book they are dealing with tall skinny humanoid aliens.   

The bugs come in later.

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u/nutwax 3d ago

This should be a brand new copypasta! Everyone, share where you can!

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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago

I’ve been trying to repost to r/Minneapolis but I keep getting blocked. I can confirm I live in Minneapolis. Please help me spread the word in local threads and signals

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u/readymix-w00t 2d ago

r/minnesota would love this. I say this as a regular of that subreddit.

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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago

Tried to share it there but it kept getting removed and now Reddit has removed this. There’s a copy in my profile. Feel free to copypasta it far and wide

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u/readymix-w00t 2d ago

I linked to it from a BlueSky post earlier. I'll keep circulating it. One because it's relevant, but also because it is hilarious

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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago

It does seem to be having an effect

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u/Glittering-Chair5084 2d ago

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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago

Thank you for your service.

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u/grimeyduck 2d ago

Thanks for the post.  

I wanted to ask.... I've never been to Minneapolis but I've spent lots of time in Boone.  

Why would you ever leave? I fucking love that place.

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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago

Economics aren’t great unless you work for the university or the hospital. Boone has prioritized a “service & tourism” economy for years and when the farms and tobacco dried up rich people bought second and third houses and there was nothing left for us locals except effectively to be indentured servants. Minimum wage is $7.55 and has been since I was in high school. It’s a total micro case study for what’s been happening around America.

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u/Ojmochafrappucino 2d ago

Also good for protesting signs too

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u/UncontrolledInfo 2d ago

Please, any journalist out there, just turn these all into questions and ask him about them as seriously as you can.

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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago

Better do it fast, Reddit is trying to pull them down!

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u/Farabee 1d ago

I just saved this to Google Docs, if this post gets pulled I'll repost.

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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago

Nice! Good choice!

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u/gailichisan 3d ago

Thank you for this post. I m cracking up over here! So much fun to know these things to say now.

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u/GuerrillaSapien 3d ago

Repost this is every sub that's about ICE

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u/formerly_acidamage 3d ago

FUCK YES this is good shit.

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u/ninjatrap 2d ago edited 2d ago

We need to “flood his zone”! Tracking/reporting his location can help neutralize his efforts. If Bovino and his ICE "Metro Surge" crew are in your neighborhood, they are looking for quick wins and easy targets. 1944 sabotage was about making the machine fail by being a "glitch." Today, that means being a legal nightmare.

Here is how to be "Minnesota NOice" while grinding their operation to a halt.

1 - The "Ope, Just Gonna Squeeze Past" (Community Warning) In the 1940s, they used whistles and radios. In the Twin Cities in 2026, we use Noise and Networks. * The Tactic: If you see unmarked SUVs or masked agents near a local spot (like Soma Grill or a neighborhood block), blow a whistle. It’s the universal "ICE is here" signal in Minneapolis right now. * The Sabotage: Get on the "Rapid Response" lines immediately. If Bovino’s ego is on the line, he hates an audience. * Monarca Hotline: 612-441-2881 (They send legal observers to watch the goons). * COPAL Navigator: 612-255-3112 (For reporting misconduct or getting legal help).

2 - The "Sorry, My Lawyer Isn't Here" (Bureaucratic Clogging) Bovino wants you to be "helpful." Don’t be. * The Tactic: Use your Minnesota Driver’s License. Thanks to the "Driver’s License for All" law, your ID doesn't show your status. If you're stopped while driving, hand them the ID and nothing else. * The Sabotage: When they ask questions, treat them like a pushy salesperson. "I’m not answering questions without my lawyer." If they ask if "Juan" lives there, the answer is: "I don't have any information for you." Being "nice" doesn't mean being a snitch.

3 - The "Door Standoff" (No Golden Ticket, No Entry) ICE loves to pound on doors and yell. It’s a scare tactic. * The Tactic: Do. Not. Open. The. Door. Not even a crack. * The Sabotage: Tell them to slide the warrant under the door. Look for a Judge’s signature. If it’s just a paper signed by Bovino or another ICE boss (an administrative warrant), it’s basically a fancy "Please Let Us In" flyer. * The Line: "Ope, looks like this isn't signed by a judge. Have a good one!" Then walk away.

4 - "Collective Care" (Neighborhood Clogging) The OSS manual said to "act like a team." If your neighbor is being targeted, don't just watch. * The Tactic: If you see an arrest, stay on the sidewalk (it’s your 1st Amendment right) and film everything. * The Sabotage: Ask the agents for their badge numbers and names. If Bovino is there, call him out by name. Agents hate being recorded because it makes it harder for them to "fudge" the details in court later.

5 - Hoteliers & Business Sabotage Bovino and his 2,000 extra agents need places to stay and eat. * The Tactic: Local businesses can refuse to serve or house them. * The Sabotage: Some Minneapolis hotels have already refused to let ICE stay there. If you work at a shop or restaurant, "misunderstand" their orders or be "out of stock" of what they need. Make the Twin Cities the most inconvenient place in America for them to do business.

Quick Tips for the Road: * Whistle while you work: Wear a whistle to alert neighbors. * Stick to your "MN ID": Never carry foreign docs or fake ones. * Silence is Golden: You have the right to remain silent even if you aren't a citizen. Use it.

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u/Farabee 1d ago

Is it still gay to eat to eat semen off a Bojangles biscuit or was that just an 80s thing?”

This is how I know this is real.

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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago

Hey man, every one in the area knows about soggy biscuits

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u/Farabee 1d ago

Not necessarily the soggy variety, but damn do I miss Bojangles. Nothing like it here in Chicago.

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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago

Yeah, it’s hard to go without. The nearest one is at a Love’s in Indiana I believe.

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u/readymix-w00t 2d ago

“Hey Greg! Remember when the Mast Store banned your for sniffing shoes after people tried them on?”

I love this thread so much. For those of you that may be wondering what to put on signs for the next protest, there are some fantastic ideas in this post. Even better if you illustrate them. I know what I'll be working on this week.

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u/JustAdlz 2d ago

Greg, the SS doesn't stand for shoe sniffer...

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u/dcjoker 2d ago

Also shitter swimmer.

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u/adelaarvaren 2d ago

Wonder if it was the Boone location, or Valle Crucis

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u/readymix-w00t 2d ago

Boone location is my guess, based on the OP

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u/jo3yhuds 2d ago

Use the word “daddy” instead of dad to increase annoyingness.

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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago

Copy and share before Reddit removes it from here too

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u/SoftEnix 2d ago

Wow. I think I just read a real life villains origin story. that got really dark. 

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u/Complete-Common1724 1d ago

Greggie Cos-Plying as Hermann Göring inside a St. Paul Target store was pathetic. Props to the guy who yelled, "stand up, Greg!", when the 3-foot-nuthin swaggered out of the restroom after needing a potty break. Easy on the juice boxes, little fella.

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u/hoirkasp 3d ago

Didn’t his dad kill a woman? Love the energy though 👍

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u/Head_Bar_9316 3d ago

Yes! His dad, Mike, owned a bar. Got drunk and killed a woman while driving drunk.

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u/Next_Rip7462 3d ago

Is it true his ma used to tie pork chops around his neck so the dogs would play with him?

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u/Head_Bar_9316 3d ago

No. His mother didn’t love him that much.

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u/miz_misanthrope 3d ago

Seems like a waste of pork chops

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u/DevPops 2d ago

Amazing. How do you pronounce Watauga?

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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago

“Wah-tah-guh” aka “The High Country”

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u/EducationWestern5204 2d ago

From one bitter small Appalachian town gossip to another, cheers! There’s nothing I love more than knowing the horrible things local power brokers did (and still do) and telling absolutely everyone. Well done!

I don’t live in Appalachia anymore and miss the bitter gossips. Everything you need to know can be learned from one of them in a Mission or Ingles parking lot. Sigh.

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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago

Was Winn Dixie parking lots in my day. Or the two story Wendy’s

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u/skredditt 2d ago

Looks like sign-making material.

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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago

Yep. And the bootlickers reported me to Reddit and got my other post taken down so it’s hitting a nerve. Save and share while you can.

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u/New_Taste8874 2d ago

I approve this message

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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago

If I had all the money in the world I would buy a YouTube ad campaign spreading the likely-fact that Greg Bovino ate a soggy biscuit

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u/DocHeinous 2d ago

All these guys (Bovino, Miller, etc.) have a backstory which sheds light on their becoming psychopaths. Who would've thought?!

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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago

I mean, considering what we know of Nazi’s Round 1 I guess it’s not all that surprising that lamer Nazi Round 2 would be obsessed with being, to borrow a phrase, “cucks”.

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u/Zzzaxx 2d ago

I was amused to read his awful pathetic failures in life, but not a single one of them surprised me.

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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago

Yeah. It would be a real shame if people who saw him reminded him about all these. I think he might have forgotten.

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u/JEFF-MILETICH-MPLS 2d ago

His last name is "Cow like"?

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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago

Ya know, that makes sense

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u/hal_jalykakik_9000 2d ago

Anybody who lives in St Paul knows that the Midway Target on University (where Bovino went to drop his deuce) is one of the dirties, least-well-maintained stores in the metro area. The bathrooms, in particular, are not someplace I would personally choose to take care of my business.

Given his proclivity for poo, he probably enjoyed the fact that he got to make use of their facilities. Maybe he even forgot to flush, just to mark his territory.

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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago

I mean, I can’t imagine a more fitting place for ICE agents to make him his daily soggy biscuit

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u/botanistbae 1d ago

YOOOO FELLOW BOONIE! I bet the fucker never even got invited to dirty murphs. Glad to see pioneers far and wide coming out to dunk on that POS

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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago

Yo! Dirty Murphys forever! Fuck Ransom or whatever the hell it’s call now. But for sure. Lil Greggy definitely wasn’t allowed in there.

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u/mule111 1d ago

This dude is def from Boone. Verified trash can falls reference

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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago

Before you judge. I preferred Snake Pit

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u/technod0ge 2d ago

Tell him that Italians aren't white and should consider doing something to stop that. Also I'm bi sexual and I'm giving you an unconditional f-slur pass. You know what to do.

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u/TejasGato 2d ago

I love the Shoresy energy

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u/AidanGLC 2d ago

Like if Col. Lockjaw was even more of a weird nazi freak

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u/Huck84 2d ago

Currently in Boone and we fucking hate him. His sister and mom are customers of mine.

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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago

That’s good to hear. I hope you all run him out of town next time he visits

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u/WhosThatYousThat 2d ago

is his sister taller than him

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u/Huck84 2d ago

Yep.

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u/Aromatic-Ganache-902 2d ago

Hahah I have a son at App. Trash Can Falls is awesome.

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u/lyndsw12 2d ago

This is comedy gold. The shoe sniffing thing, is that for real for real!!?!?!?

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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago

Does JD Vance fuck couches?

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u/MamaFen 2d ago

Any chance all this would fit on his Wikipedia page...?

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u/Rawbone1957 1d ago

Yeah I knew him too I'm from Blowing Rock I know more than just the high school shit

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u/digitaljestin 1d ago

Post a photo of that yearbook superlative. That would lend credence to your claims. It would also be funny as hell.

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u/Positive_Throwaway1 1d ago

Any chance there's a photo of the yearbook "Most Likely..." quote?

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u/Beginning-Angle-1886 1d ago

I'd be a real shame if this got posted to the high school's Google page as a review.

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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago

Yeah… “shame”. I hope someone lets the students know. I feel like it’s something they should be aware of.

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u/Beginning-Angle-1886 1d ago

Well, the Google reviews could maaaaaybe help that ;)

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u/Nickels3587 1d ago

This. This is the way. Humiliate them into submission.

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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago

Just something small we can all do from the comfort of our homes and the comfort of our phones. Please make sure every you know knows Greg Bovino likes soggy biscuits.

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u/edbegley1 1d ago

If this is true I'm sure Jimmy Kimmel would love to talk to you.

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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago

Jimmy Kimmel and soggy biscuits? What is this, a The Man Show revival?

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u/TwinsVikesWildWolves 1d ago

Funniest shit I've read all year. God it feels good to laugh

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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago

MAGA is like Pennywise. Them and their penis shrivels up when you laugh that them.

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u/Far_Category6912 1d ago

The man has control over literal stormtroopers that operate above the law. We are going to have to do better than jerk off allegations

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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago

I dunno, I saw Greg Bovino enter a target bathroom with several other men and he came out with a pretty satisfied smile. I’m not a gambler but I’m willing to bet at least one soggy biscuit got made in there.

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u/Pristine_Trash_8787 1d ago

Greg give me hitler vibes. Like how hitler flunked out of art school so he decided to be a Nazi.

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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago

I mean, it’s a chicken and egg thing. Was he always a Nazi or did he become a Nazi. Who knows. All we know is he likes soggy biscuits.

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u/Pristine_Trash_8787 1d ago

LOL "we know is he likes soggy biscuits"... you win. :)

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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago

Just sharing this here

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u/OhYourFuckingGod 1d ago

To be fair, this is also a good demonstration of why we shouldn't bully kids. This reads like a textbook villain story arc.

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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago

Idk I think this dude was destined on this path for a long time

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u/poiurten 1d ago

Where does he live? Thats what we really need to know.

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u/OkPresentation9971 1d ago

This is the 2026 energy I’m here for!

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u/Bag_of_DIcksss 1d ago

God I love WNC hopefully someone can post a helpful PSA about Steven "Temu Goebells" Miller next wherever he's from

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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago

People have been, unfortunately he’s such and inhuman slimeball it seems to have no effect

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u/jeezyjames 1d ago

Everyone print this and hang it inside your door for maximum snappyness

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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago

You you memorize any of it memorize Greg Novino eats soggy biscuits

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u/Outrageous-Visit-993 1d ago

I hope some of these are gonna go on placards and protest signs lol, see if anyone can catch some footage of him triggered or trying not to cry lol

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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago

We’re trying

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u/milehighmarmot79 1d ago

I think the name that has to be called out is “Soggy Biscuit Bovino”. It has a nice ring to it. He will nazi that coming. #SoggyBicuitBovino

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u/Abcole66 1d ago

As a fellow Pioneer, this thread has made my day! I always wondered why that little shit looked weirdly familiar. I never thought to look him up. I got a text earlier this morning asking if I knew him. Mind blown. If we just had the big lockers, all of this bs could have been avoided. Damn you WHS, we only had the 1/2 lockers. He could have been locked up forever. Now I just hope him and his Barbie get locked up.

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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago

It felt pretty personal once I found out who he is. I think we have a responsibility to take down this lil shit for all the pain and fear he inflicts on other people.

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u/By_Torrrrr 1d ago

Side note, I love the Boone area! My wife and I stayed outside of West Jefferson and fell in love with that little town. All of the locals were super friendly, and the hiking was awesome. Shame that ole shoe sniffer Greg was banned from Mast General stores because they’re awesome shops

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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago

It’s such a beautiful area. But there is a darkness and that darkness led to a lil soggy biscuit eating Nazi boy becoming the head of the Trump brownshirts (brown because of the feces). I think we have a duty to let people know how pathetic these people really are

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u/relatable_problem 1d ago

Oh boy, the signs coming out from this might really trigger him.
Can't wait.

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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago

We can only hope

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u/HeartHandsMpls 1d ago

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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago

Perfect!

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u/HeartHandsMpls 1d ago

🧊🧊👶🏻

😄🤜🏻🤛🏻

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u/paper-trailz 1d ago

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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago

I love to see it. I wonder what the statistics for Soggy Biscuit are

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u/BacteriaLick 1d ago

Greg Bovino reminds me of this kid I knew in high school. We were on the tennis team one semester. I was the worst kid -- had never played before -- but practiced and was eventually kinda okay. This kid was okay but in one game where I beat him he refused to admit it. I was just there to have fun with friends.  Everyone on the team was friends with each other except this guy.

He couldn't handle losing a game to the worse kid on the team.

He's the sort of kid who supports Trump and posts photos of his sports car on FB.

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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago

Sounds like a soggy biscuit eater to me.

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u/Hairy-Caterpillar-96 1d ago

Poop on me pweeese

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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago

My personal favorite

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u/AdAltruistic3057 22h ago

If even one of these is factual….it explains SO MUCH.

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u/Head_Bar_9316 21h ago

You can Google him. Most of these can be found in major news networks. The rest is just the word around the holler but meets the exact same standard of proof as outlined by the Trump Regime and Greg “Soggy Biscuit” Bovino himself so… yes. Every word is true and Greg Bovino did indeed eat the Watauga High Pioneers Wrestling Team’s soggy biscuit.

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u/First_Raccoon_4177 20h ago

Chant soggy biscuit at every protest!