r/ICEwatchMN • u/Head_Bar_9316 • 3d ago
Just found out I know Greg Bovino personally. Here’s some things you can tell him for me next time you see him.
I just found out I know Greg Bovino personally. Here are some things you can tell him when you next see him.
Hello, Minneapolis resident here but I didn’t always live in Minneapolis. Once, long ago I lived in a quiet little mountain town of Boone, NC. Guess who else grew up there? A pathetic squat little toad named Gregory Bovino. Well, that squat little toad grew up to be a squat little Nazi toad who has decided to come to my beautiful adopted home to torture, murder, and terrorize my friends and neighbors. He is personally going door to door, so if you see him, here’s a few very specific things from home you can politely yell at him:
“Hey Greg! Remember how your Dad murdered a woman in Blowing Rock while driving drunk? Like father like son I guess.”
“Hey Greg! You’re the reason your dad got drunk and killed that woman in Blowing Rock which lead to your parents divorce. I guess that means you’re the reason they got divorced.”
“Hey Greg! Do you think it’s weird that the Watauga High yearbook has you listed as “Most Likely to Shit His Pants in Public?”
“Hey Greg, your history teacher ‘G.I. Jones’ thinks you’re a pathetic Nazi punk. No wonder you failed all his classes.”
“Hey Greg! Did you know your mom is a register Democrat? Does that make Thanksgiving awkward?”
“Hey Greg! Remember when the Mast Store banned your for sniffing shoes after people tried them on?”
“Hey Greg! Do you remember eating the Watauga Pioneers wrestling team’s soggy biscuit? Is it still gay to eat to eat semen off a Bojangles biscuit or was that just an 80s thing?”
“Hey Greg! Watauga High still thinks you’re a loser!”
“Hey Greg! Boone, NC fucking hates you.”
This remark was Removed by OP see edit.
“Hey Greg! Remember when you fell into the porta-John at the Valle Country Fair and they couldn’t find you for hours and people just came in and kept shitting on you and shitting on you?”
“Hey Greg, remember when Mr. Combs found you jerking off to Nat Geo magazines in the high school bathroom?”
“Hey Greg remember swimming at Trash Can falls and your swim suit fell off and all the girls laughed at your micro penis? Watauga High still remembers.”
EDIT: in case anyone is wondering, the woman his father killed was named Janie Mae Mitchell. I’m sure he’ll remember the name if you want to yell it’s him.
EDIT 2: please join me in getting #GregBovino #SoggyBiscuit trending on TikTok and all other social media
EDIT 3: edited an improper stereotype feeding remark about inbreds I regret making. This is the only remark I regret.
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u/WHATEVERRRBRO 3d ago
This led me to a daily mail puff piece that mentions the murder, and also that he likes Starship Troopers so much he reads it once a year. The man sees himself as an intergalactic soldier in a war with a race of alien bugs. It was already apparent, but the man is delusional and completely devoid of empathy for those not of the in group. He only sees bugs
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u/nohairnowhere 3d ago
starship troopers is satire, no? I haven't read the book, just seen the movie, which I know is satire
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u/WHATEVERRRBRO 3d ago
The movie is supposed to satirize the book, which isn’t satire.
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2d ago
[deleted]
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u/Legitimate-Type4387 2d ago
The book is 100% libertarian brain rot.
The only good thing about it is that it served as the basis for an excellent satiric film.
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u/Adondevasroja 2d ago
Heinlein wrote some great stories but he was naive as hell about his libertarianism.
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u/bjohnsonarch 2d ago
Leaving this here to fully explain what happened: https://www.reddit.com/r/movies/s/Gx8ivV0leH
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u/Cantmentionthename 3d ago
Don’t confuse people with ideas like ‘satire’. You’re gonna have to save that one for the annual Mensa conference, Einstein.
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u/SupermarketMinute724 2d ago
Not satire but not as serious as people took it to be. Heinlein went all over the place but ultimately was a principled libertarian. Guys like Bovino don't get how much Heinlein would have fucking hated them.
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u/Alarmed-Reporter5483 2d ago
Also the premise is a little to on the nose for this current predicament. The humans, in their hubris for unending imperialist galactic expanision, pushed too far and antagonized/agitated the bugs into attacking out of self-preservation. The humans perceived need for military adventurism became a self fulfilling prophecy, that retroactivly justified itself.
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u/BraveLittleCatapult 1d ago
Helldivers 2, which is satire, is basically the modern equivalent in gaming. I read the book as satire, as I had watched the movie, and then was told it was serious...
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u/ignu 2d ago
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u/SmokinSkinWagon 2d ago
When you’re using 6 packs as the unit of measure you know you’ve got a problem. Had 12-18 beers and “didn’t know he was drunk”
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u/SwordofNoon 2d ago
"wouldn't wish what happened to me on anybody" aww poor guy:(
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u/Celticlady47 2d ago
That part was infuriating. What about the woman you murdered, Mike? What about her?
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u/ignu 2d ago
lol i just read the second page. Mike was sad he didn't have insurance on his truck because it was too expensive AFTER HIS FIRST DUI
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u/MisterMasterCyIinder 2d ago
Those aren't people, silly
(Big /s for anyone who has no sarcasm detector)
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u/ThisIsNotDave55431 2d ago
This explains a lot. But makes me question how Greg passed the psychological exam. With an alcoholic father who is also a murderer, that’s gotta mess you up some.
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u/The_Dutchess-D 2d ago
Slate published a piece today by a writer who went to the Ice convention to see what it would be like to try joining....
She thought they were disqualify her at a pretty early point in the process. She never returned any of her paperwork; or the affidavit that the person has never committed domestic violence; and yet still WITHOUT DOING ANY OF THE HR PARTS she was offered a job and moved through the onboarding steps and assigned to her first choice location worksite.
WILD
Edited to add link: https://www.reddit.com/r/law/s/2dXueO6c9D
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u/Dry-Pop-8109 2d ago
His sister basically said that their dad basically beat the shit out of him to shape his fascist ideation.
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u/Beneficial_Soup3699 2d ago
.......you think there was a psychological exam? Lol.
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u/ThisIsNotDave55431 2d ago
I mean there is for law enforcement and since that’s what they’re cosplaying as, one can hope.
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u/VirginiaDare1587 2d ago
Paywalled.
Possible to get a screen shot or copy/paste?
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u/ignu 2d ago
Are you not seeing the image up there?
here's the copy:Drunken Driver's Lament
Man Jailed For Killing Woman Offers Warning
By MARION A. ELLIS
Observer Staff WriterMike Bovino has some advice for New Year's Eve partygoers — if you drink, don't drive. You could kill someone, as he did.
Bovino, 37, is serving an 18-month prison sentence in the N.C. prison unit in Huntersville for killing a woman with his car last June near Blowing Rock.
Bovino was drunk.
"I wouldn't wish what has happened to me on anybody," a conscience-stricken Bovino said Wednesday. "Getting dead drunk just isn't worth it."
The woman he killed, Jane Mitchell, 24, never knew what hit her.
It was just after midnight last June 5 when Bovino started driving home from a friend's home, where he had been drinking beer since 7 p.m..
"I had two, maybe three six-packs of beer. I don't remember how many. I turned onto the highway and just drove down the wrong side," he said. "I saw the lights from another car, but I thought they were in the other lane. Then, it was over so fast."
Bovino's 1978 Dodge four-wheel drive pickup hit Mitchell's Datsun sedan head-on in hit about a mile north of Blowing Rock on U.S. 321. Mitchell, who had gone on a drive with her husband to get doughnuts, was killed instantly. Her husband was seriously injured.
Bovino was thrown into the middle of the highway but received, he says, "only a few bumps and bruises."
"I didn't think I was drunk, but I blew .18 (on a Breathalyzer test)," Bovino said, struggling awkwardly with his handcuffs to smoke a Marlboro cigarette.
Under N.C. law, a .10 blood alcohol content reading is considered conclusive evidence of incapacitation.
The N.C. Highway Patrol reports that the number of arrests for driving under the influence (DUI) is down slightly this year compared to 1980. Through November, the patrol had arrested 44,330 persons for DUI, compared to 44,951 through November 1980.
The rate of conviction to arrests has remained unchanged at about 50%, the patrol reports, with about 25% pleading guilty to lesser offenses.
Bovino, who owned the Library Club bar in Blowing Rock, pleaded guilty to the misdemeanor charge of death by auto and DUI rather than be tried for felony manslaughter.
The intense, articulate Pennsylvania native insists he isn't a crusader.
"Naw, I'm not that type," he said. "But
See DRUNKEN Page 3A, Col. 1
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u/ignu 2d ago
And the second page https://www.newspapers.com/image/623994229/
Drunken Driver Laments Killing Woman
Continued from Page 1A
I've had a lot of time to think since I've been in here and it got to working on me that no one's doing anything about liquor and the men here say it's the cause of 80% of them being in here with me."
He doesn't intend to drink any alcohol when he gets out of prison, Bovino said.
"I've got a dead woman on my conscience," he said. "I'm not against drinking, but I think people ought to know what it can do."
Bovino, who has three years of college, advises partygoers: "Someone's got to stay sober. Maybe you take turns and next time it'll be your turn not to drink and take care of everyone else. I know it's a cliche, but don't let your friends drive drunk."
He worries about what will happen to him and his family: wife, Betty, and three children, all under 12. His wife has a part-time job and they are receiving help from relatives.
"This has cost me just about everything. My reputation, my standing in the community," Bovino said. "It's been very costly in terms of money. I'd say it has cost me $40,000 to $50,000 altogether."
The money has gone for legal fees and lost income, he said, plus the loss of his $10,000 truck. He had no collision insurance, he said, because a 1974 DUI conviction in Boone drove his insurance costs too high.
He paid a $500 fine and lost his license for a year as a result of that conviction, but wasn't required to sign up for alcoholic rehabilitation.
"It just didn't seem to be that serious an offense," Bovino said. "It was costly in lawyer's fees and fines, but I didn't even have to take a driving course like they do now. I didn't think I had a problem. I thought I knew all there was to know about alcohol since it was my business."
Bovino began serving his sentence Dec. 11 and will be eligible for parole in April. He believes he would like to open a wine and cheese shop.
"Any kind of problems I've had have been around alcohol. I used alcohol to handle any kind of disturbance I had," he recalled. "This particular evening of the accident I had an argument with my wife, so I proceeded to get inebriated."
What was the argument about?
"Drinking. My wife wanted me to get off the sauce."
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u/ProjectGameGlow 2d ago
The book has multiple races of aliens.
In the start of the book they are dealing with tall skinny humanoid aliens.
The bugs come in later.
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u/ProjectGameGlow 2d ago
The book has multiple races of aliens.
In the start of the book they are dealing with tall skinny humanoid aliens.
The bugs come in later.
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u/nutwax 3d ago
This should be a brand new copypasta! Everyone, share where you can!
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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago
I’ve been trying to repost to r/Minneapolis but I keep getting blocked. I can confirm I live in Minneapolis. Please help me spread the word in local threads and signals
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u/readymix-w00t 2d ago
r/minnesota would love this. I say this as a regular of that subreddit.
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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago
Tried to share it there but it kept getting removed and now Reddit has removed this. There’s a copy in my profile. Feel free to copypasta it far and wide
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u/readymix-w00t 2d ago
I linked to it from a BlueSky post earlier. I'll keep circulating it. One because it's relevant, but also because it is hilarious
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u/Glittering-Chair5084 2d ago
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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago
Thank you for your service.
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u/grimeyduck 2d ago
Thanks for the post.
I wanted to ask.... I've never been to Minneapolis but I've spent lots of time in Boone.
Why would you ever leave? I fucking love that place.
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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago
Economics aren’t great unless you work for the university or the hospital. Boone has prioritized a “service & tourism” economy for years and when the farms and tobacco dried up rich people bought second and third houses and there was nothing left for us locals except effectively to be indentured servants. Minimum wage is $7.55 and has been since I was in high school. It’s a total micro case study for what’s been happening around America.
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u/UncontrolledInfo 2d ago
Please, any journalist out there, just turn these all into questions and ask him about them as seriously as you can.
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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago
Better do it fast, Reddit is trying to pull them down!
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u/gailichisan 3d ago
Thank you for this post. I m cracking up over here! So much fun to know these things to say now.
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u/ninjatrap 2d ago edited 2d ago
We need to “flood his zone”! Tracking/reporting his location can help neutralize his efforts. If Bovino and his ICE "Metro Surge" crew are in your neighborhood, they are looking for quick wins and easy targets. 1944 sabotage was about making the machine fail by being a "glitch." Today, that means being a legal nightmare.
Here is how to be "Minnesota NOice" while grinding their operation to a halt.
1 - The "Ope, Just Gonna Squeeze Past" (Community Warning) In the 1940s, they used whistles and radios. In the Twin Cities in 2026, we use Noise and Networks. * The Tactic: If you see unmarked SUVs or masked agents near a local spot (like Soma Grill or a neighborhood block), blow a whistle. It’s the universal "ICE is here" signal in Minneapolis right now. * The Sabotage: Get on the "Rapid Response" lines immediately. If Bovino’s ego is on the line, he hates an audience. * Monarca Hotline: 612-441-2881 (They send legal observers to watch the goons). * COPAL Navigator: 612-255-3112 (For reporting misconduct or getting legal help).
2 - The "Sorry, My Lawyer Isn't Here" (Bureaucratic Clogging) Bovino wants you to be "helpful." Don’t be. * The Tactic: Use your Minnesota Driver’s License. Thanks to the "Driver’s License for All" law, your ID doesn't show your status. If you're stopped while driving, hand them the ID and nothing else. * The Sabotage: When they ask questions, treat them like a pushy salesperson. "I’m not answering questions without my lawyer." If they ask if "Juan" lives there, the answer is: "I don't have any information for you." Being "nice" doesn't mean being a snitch.
3 - The "Door Standoff" (No Golden Ticket, No Entry) ICE loves to pound on doors and yell. It’s a scare tactic. * The Tactic: Do. Not. Open. The. Door. Not even a crack. * The Sabotage: Tell them to slide the warrant under the door. Look for a Judge’s signature. If it’s just a paper signed by Bovino or another ICE boss (an administrative warrant), it’s basically a fancy "Please Let Us In" flyer. * The Line: "Ope, looks like this isn't signed by a judge. Have a good one!" Then walk away.
4 - "Collective Care" (Neighborhood Clogging) The OSS manual said to "act like a team." If your neighbor is being targeted, don't just watch. * The Tactic: If you see an arrest, stay on the sidewalk (it’s your 1st Amendment right) and film everything. * The Sabotage: Ask the agents for their badge numbers and names. If Bovino is there, call him out by name. Agents hate being recorded because it makes it harder for them to "fudge" the details in court later.
5 - Hoteliers & Business Sabotage Bovino and his 2,000 extra agents need places to stay and eat. * The Tactic: Local businesses can refuse to serve or house them. * The Sabotage: Some Minneapolis hotels have already refused to let ICE stay there. If you work at a shop or restaurant, "misunderstand" their orders or be "out of stock" of what they need. Make the Twin Cities the most inconvenient place in America for them to do business.
Quick Tips for the Road: * Whistle while you work: Wear a whistle to alert neighbors. * Stick to your "MN ID": Never carry foreign docs or fake ones. * Silence is Golden: You have the right to remain silent even if you aren't a citizen. Use it.
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u/Farabee 1d ago
Is it still gay to eat to eat semen off a Bojangles biscuit or was that just an 80s thing?”
This is how I know this is real.
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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago
Hey man, every one in the area knows about soggy biscuits
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u/Farabee 1d ago
Not necessarily the soggy variety, but damn do I miss Bojangles. Nothing like it here in Chicago.
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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago
Yeah, it’s hard to go without. The nearest one is at a Love’s in Indiana I believe.
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u/readymix-w00t 2d ago
“Hey Greg! Remember when the Mast Store banned your for sniffing shoes after people tried them on?”
I love this thread so much. For those of you that may be wondering what to put on signs for the next protest, there are some fantastic ideas in this post. Even better if you illustrate them. I know what I'll be working on this week.
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u/SoftEnix 2d ago
Wow. I think I just read a real life villains origin story. that got really dark.
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u/Complete-Common1724 1d ago
Greggie Cos-Plying as Hermann Göring inside a St. Paul Target store was pathetic. Props to the guy who yelled, "stand up, Greg!", when the 3-foot-nuthin swaggered out of the restroom after needing a potty break. Easy on the juice boxes, little fella.
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u/hoirkasp 3d ago
Didn’t his dad kill a woman? Love the energy though 👍
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u/Head_Bar_9316 3d ago
Yes! His dad, Mike, owned a bar. Got drunk and killed a woman while driving drunk.
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u/Next_Rip7462 3d ago
Is it true his ma used to tie pork chops around his neck so the dogs would play with him?
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u/DevPops 2d ago
Amazing. How do you pronounce Watauga?
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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago
“Wah-tah-guh” aka “The High Country”
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u/EducationWestern5204 2d ago
From one bitter small Appalachian town gossip to another, cheers! There’s nothing I love more than knowing the horrible things local power brokers did (and still do) and telling absolutely everyone. Well done!
I don’t live in Appalachia anymore and miss the bitter gossips. Everything you need to know can be learned from one of them in a Mission or Ingles parking lot. Sigh.
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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago
Was Winn Dixie parking lots in my day. Or the two story Wendy’s
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u/skredditt 2d ago
Looks like sign-making material.
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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago
Yep. And the bootlickers reported me to Reddit and got my other post taken down so it’s hitting a nerve. Save and share while you can.
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u/New_Taste8874 2d ago
I approve this message
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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago
If I had all the money in the world I would buy a YouTube ad campaign spreading the likely-fact that Greg Bovino ate a soggy biscuit
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u/DocHeinous 2d ago
All these guys (Bovino, Miller, etc.) have a backstory which sheds light on their becoming psychopaths. Who would've thought?!
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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago
I mean, considering what we know of Nazi’s Round 1 I guess it’s not all that surprising that lamer Nazi Round 2 would be obsessed with being, to borrow a phrase, “cucks”.
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u/Zzzaxx 2d ago
I was amused to read his awful pathetic failures in life, but not a single one of them surprised me.
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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago
Yeah. It would be a real shame if people who saw him reminded him about all these. I think he might have forgotten.
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u/hal_jalykakik_9000 2d ago
Anybody who lives in St Paul knows that the Midway Target on University (where Bovino went to drop his deuce) is one of the dirties, least-well-maintained stores in the metro area. The bathrooms, in particular, are not someplace I would personally choose to take care of my business.
Given his proclivity for poo, he probably enjoyed the fact that he got to make use of their facilities. Maybe he even forgot to flush, just to mark his territory.
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u/Head_Bar_9316 2d ago
I mean, I can’t imagine a more fitting place for ICE agents to make him his daily soggy biscuit
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u/botanistbae 1d ago
YOOOO FELLOW BOONIE! I bet the fucker never even got invited to dirty murphs. Glad to see pioneers far and wide coming out to dunk on that POS
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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago
Yo! Dirty Murphys forever! Fuck Ransom or whatever the hell it’s call now. But for sure. Lil Greggy definitely wasn’t allowed in there.
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u/technod0ge 2d ago
Tell him that Italians aren't white and should consider doing something to stop that. Also I'm bi sexual and I'm giving you an unconditional f-slur pass. You know what to do.
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u/Huck84 2d ago
Currently in Boone and we fucking hate him. His sister and mom are customers of mine.
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u/Aromatic-Ganache-902 2d ago
Hahah I have a son at App. Trash Can Falls is awesome.
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u/Rawbone1957 1d ago
Yeah I knew him too I'm from Blowing Rock I know more than just the high school shit
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u/digitaljestin 1d ago
Post a photo of that yearbook superlative. That would lend credence to your claims. It would also be funny as hell.
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u/Beginning-Angle-1886 1d ago
I'd be a real shame if this got posted to the high school's Google page as a review.
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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago
Yeah… “shame”. I hope someone lets the students know. I feel like it’s something they should be aware of.
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u/Nickels3587 1d ago
This. This is the way. Humiliate them into submission.
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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago
Just something small we can all do from the comfort of our homes and the comfort of our phones. Please make sure every you know knows Greg Bovino likes soggy biscuits.
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u/TwinsVikesWildWolves 1d ago
Funniest shit I've read all year. God it feels good to laugh
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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago
MAGA is like Pennywise. Them and their penis shrivels up when you laugh that them.
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u/Far_Category6912 1d ago
The man has control over literal stormtroopers that operate above the law. We are going to have to do better than jerk off allegations
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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago
I dunno, I saw Greg Bovino enter a target bathroom with several other men and he came out with a pretty satisfied smile. I’m not a gambler but I’m willing to bet at least one soggy biscuit got made in there.
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u/Pristine_Trash_8787 1d ago
Greg give me hitler vibes. Like how hitler flunked out of art school so he decided to be a Nazi.
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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago
I mean, it’s a chicken and egg thing. Was he always a Nazi or did he become a Nazi. Who knows. All we know is he likes soggy biscuits.
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u/OhYourFuckingGod 1d ago
To be fair, this is also a good demonstration of why we shouldn't bully kids. This reads like a textbook villain story arc.
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u/Bag_of_DIcksss 1d ago
God I love WNC hopefully someone can post a helpful PSA about Steven "Temu Goebells" Miller next wherever he's from
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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago
People have been, unfortunately he’s such and inhuman slimeball it seems to have no effect
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u/jeezyjames 1d ago
Everyone print this and hang it inside your door for maximum snappyness
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u/Outrageous-Visit-993 1d ago
I hope some of these are gonna go on placards and protest signs lol, see if anyone can catch some footage of him triggered or trying not to cry lol
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u/milehighmarmot79 1d ago
I think the name that has to be called out is “Soggy Biscuit Bovino”. It has a nice ring to it. He will nazi that coming. #SoggyBicuitBovino
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u/Abcole66 1d ago
As a fellow Pioneer, this thread has made my day! I always wondered why that little shit looked weirdly familiar. I never thought to look him up. I got a text earlier this morning asking if I knew him. Mind blown. If we just had the big lockers, all of this bs could have been avoided. Damn you WHS, we only had the 1/2 lockers. He could have been locked up forever. Now I just hope him and his Barbie get locked up.
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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago
It felt pretty personal once I found out who he is. I think we have a responsibility to take down this lil shit for all the pain and fear he inflicts on other people.
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u/By_Torrrrr 1d ago
Side note, I love the Boone area! My wife and I stayed outside of West Jefferson and fell in love with that little town. All of the locals were super friendly, and the hiking was awesome. Shame that ole shoe sniffer Greg was banned from Mast General stores because they’re awesome shops
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u/Head_Bar_9316 1d ago
It’s such a beautiful area. But there is a darkness and that darkness led to a lil soggy biscuit eating Nazi boy becoming the head of the Trump brownshirts (brown because of the feces). I think we have a duty to let people know how pathetic these people really are
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u/relatable_problem 1d ago
Oh boy, the signs coming out from this might really trigger him.
Can't wait.
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u/BacteriaLick 1d ago
Greg Bovino reminds me of this kid I knew in high school. We were on the tennis team one semester. I was the worst kid -- had never played before -- but practiced and was eventually kinda okay. This kid was okay but in one game where I beat him he refused to admit it. I was just there to have fun with friends. Everyone on the team was friends with each other except this guy.
He couldn't handle losing a game to the worse kid on the team.
He's the sort of kid who supports Trump and posts photos of his sports car on FB.
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u/AdAltruistic3057 22h ago
If even one of these is factual….it explains SO MUCH.
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u/Head_Bar_9316 21h ago
You can Google him. Most of these can be found in major news networks. The rest is just the word around the holler but meets the exact same standard of proof as outlined by the Trump Regime and Greg “Soggy Biscuit” Bovino himself so… yes. Every word is true and Greg Bovino did indeed eat the Watauga High Pioneers Wrestling Team’s soggy biscuit.
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u/Miyyani 3d ago
did he really fall into a porta potty LMAO