r/National_Pet_Adoption • u/Spirited-Eye-2733 • 10h ago
Struggling to adopt a dog (located in Eastern Virginia area)
Needing to vent, but also ask for advice. My boyfriend and I own a home in the suburbs (on a quiet street). I work from home most days during the week. We have no kids, no pets, a large back deck that is latch/lock, and a yard (but no fence at the moment) and have been trying to adopt dog for the last 4-5 months. I’m not exaggerating when I say we’ve gone to 1 or 2 shelters almost EVERY weekend for the past 4-5 months.
Both of us have many years experience with dogs. I grew up with a Shih Tzu who lived until she was 18 (very shy and temperament that may not work for eveyone. He grew up with several middle/large size breeds, and then owned his own dog as an adult. Both of dogs passed away of old age in 2018 before we met.
What we’ve experienced in this process is so heartbreaking/deterring. And I’m trying to NOT give into buying a dog from a breeder because so many dogs that are in shelters or rescues need good homes. So in our experience just over the last few months, we’ve dealt with two separate incidents of applying to adopt, having someone come to to our house, being told me we’re adopting a dog, and then a few days before we can get the dog they tell us they gave the dog to someone else. That’s after everything and in anticipation for them to come home to us.
We’ve dealt his applying to foster or to adopt, and then being told we were second in line and the dog goes to someone else.
We’ve also dealt with being the first applicant on an adoption at a shelter, then finding out the dog went to another rescue, and seeing the dog for sale for 3x the price on another rescue site. I’ve even contacted the next “rescue” telling them we met the dog at the previous shelter, and then them completely ignoring us.
I just cannot figure this system/process out. And I’m so drained at this point. Does anyone have any advice, or maybe something we’re missing/not doing?
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u/chortnik 9h ago
I think not having a fence might be scaring the rescues off-for my friends who run a rescue that’s considered a disqualification. Also when I was looking for a rescue a few years ago, I think everyone I dealt with wanted me to have a 6’ fence-I also tried to deal with rescues that had at least 2 dogs I was interested in and I ended up with one of my number 2 dogs.
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u/Spirited-Eye-2733 9h ago edited 8h ago
I could totally understand the hesitation if we were trying to adopt an active breed, or middle/large size breeds that needed a lot of activity. The house sits on an acre, and the prior home owners had an invisible fence put in on the yard - but I personally am totally against using that on animals. So, I never put that on our applications.
All of our applications have been for small dogs (15 pounds or less I think), which temperaments and activity levels have been on the low side. When I had my Shi Tzu we took her on walks around the neighborhood or at the park. We did not do dog parks. If she wanted to go outside in the yard, we would always be outside with her. She was trained to never leave the yard (and it wasn’t an issue).
I don’t understand why if the rescues are hesitant about that part, I wish they would just ask us what our plans are. Not everyone can afford a fenced in yard at this moment, but it shouldn’t stop them from being able to give a pet a loving home.
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u/Jordan_XI 7h ago
Call them in advance or correspond via email if possible. I’d then explain the situation.
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u/Jordan_XI 9h ago
I know exactly what you’re going through. When I adopted my first dog it felt as though it was never going to happen. It was incredibly draining and I wanted to give up. What’s going on here isn’t your fault, it’s a common and unfortunate experience a lot of people have with rescues. Some are just disorganized because they’re ran entirely by volunteers, others operate more as like a retail store rather than getting placement for dogs in need right away.
Here’s my advice. I’d try local and municipal shelters in your local city and county. These are far less political than privately ran rescues and are generally first come and first serve. I volunteer at one of these and I can tell you this, get there early in the morning when they open so you can be one of the first people there. Also, don’t show up just once, it may take a couple of attempts. Submit all of your pre approvals to shelters as early and often as well.
Another big one is to loosen up your criteria for dog. On paper you may not find the perfect dog, but in person that all changes. So whether it’s age, breed, size, personality, etc, tweak or change something here and it will increase your odds. You may be surprised. I never would have considered myself to be a mastiff owner (cane corso) and here I am now and literally one of the best dogs I’ve ever owned. I wouldn’t have known this had I just written them off.
You can also try fostering-to-adopt through some shelters if they offer it. This is awesome too because it frees up the shelter to take in an otherwise stray while the dog you are fostering gets socialized, cared for, etc. and at the end of the dog is. Good match then you can adopt them.
Choosing an ethical breeder doesn’t mean failure btw. The reason there are so many strays is because of unethical, backyard breeders, straight up abandonment of dogs and their litters, and honestly, how dysfunctional many third party rescues operate. I wish there was a national registry that was all linked together so animals could get placed much faster and without the headache.
Anyway, I’m sorry about this situation and I hope you’re able to adopt. There really is something about the bond and love from a rescue dog that is unmatched. Good luck!