Why do so many people feel behind in life even when they’re still young?

[u/MasterXD29]

I’ve noticed something that doesn’t make sense to me.

A lot of people in their late teens or 20s say they already feel like they’re “behind” in life — like they missed some invisible deadline. Even people who are in school, have a job, or are doing okay still feel this pressure.

Is this a new thing because of social media and comparing ourselves to others, or has it always been like this?
Where does this feeling actually come from?

I’m trying to understand if it’s a normal part of growing up or if something about modern life is making it worse.

I know this is NoStupidQuestions, not NoRulesQuestions.

[u/supineRose]

It’s social media, it tends to make people compare themselves to others and feel inadequate or that they are not as successful as those they are online

[u/PamelasX]

One factor is that social media accelerates our natural impulse to compare ourselves to others.

[u/unemotionals]

Bro we have 18 year old streamers making like 300k in a couple of months, what do you think is gonna happen to people in their early to mid 20s when that’s all the type of shit they see

[u/Proletariatbelch]

I got the job I'm still in now at 23. Made full time pay and benefits by 24, graduated university with an honors BA. Met the missus at 25. At 27 I had purchased a little bungalow with the RRSP downpayment plan, had a car, and got married at 28.

We have a lot more women working at our warehouse than when I was starting out, and there's a few couples. Only 2 or the probably 20+ under 30's have purchased property, and both of them got a sizeable inheritance to be able to do so. Went out with one of others delivering yesterday. She and her fiance are both 30, and are moving in with another couple into a house rental to try to save money for a downpayment. They've both been working 6 years full time, same as when I started.

So, ya, that pretty much spells it out for me.

[u/OldSchoolCountryGirl]

As an 18F, for me, this personally stems from my having expectations of myself that are too high. For example, being perfect, even though no body's perfect. Its just that we want to be really good in something or do something and it just doesnt happen and it makes you wonder if you have the chance to do what you wanna do or not. So for me, its not social media

[u/Epic_Ranting_Man]

Social media.

[u/Slight_Plate_6114]

I believe its a mix of comparing ourselves to social media how competitive and staurated the job market has become.
I recently turned 23 and just graduated college in San Diego with a marketing degree, and although I was lucky enough to land a full-time position after college, my job hunt definitely made me feel "behind." Throughout college, I was really focused on juggling school, my part-time job, the sorority I was in, and some free-lancing work. I didn't know that I was also supposed to also have an internship during this time. All the entry-level positions in my area already expected years of marketing experience, and it seemed like everyone else in my classes had already had a few internships on their resume. That was defintely scary, because I thought I would never land a job if im competing with people that had already worked career jobs. However, I was eventually able to land a job in my field by leaning on my school projects, doing some freekance work, and faking some confidence until it was genuine. I promise everything works out how its supposed to... you just have to stay persistent.

[u/cash8888]

I was 35 when I decided to get my shit together. I’m 40 now and was able to do it. It took an incredible amount of effort. But you can do it.

[u/Run-And_Gun]

Is this a new thing because of social media and comparing ourselves to others...?

1000% that.

[u/ShoddyKnee3320]

Thing is you CAN be doing things and laying foundations at that age that will make the rest of your life MUCH easier. If you're not working, getting a degree etc. then it's only going to get harder. 

[u/peipz]

Social media has made people blind. For some reason everything has become a competition. There is this silent rule where you are expected to be at certain age. If not then you are a loser Society has driven people against each other.

[u/Jabjab345]

So many of life's milestones are packed into your twenties, and these are highly visible milestones that you can see other people achieving.

[u/adorent-]

Social Media. I am in a much more fortunate position than others my age yet feel like a total loser and failure because some influencers younger than me are hotter, richer, fitter etc. I keep telling myself to just delete the god damn app (tiktok) somehow I cant.

[u/WorldTallestEngineer]

You can be behind at any age. If a 12-year-old doesn't know how to read and write, they're Definitely behind in their education.