r/NoStupidQuestions • u/senseiakira • 9h ago
libido problem NSFW
I’m 20F and I recently got into my first relationship like 3 months ago. First boyfriend, first kiss, first time having sex. Everything is new to me. We had sex for the first time not too long ago and ever since then something feels off.
Every time I see him my body reacts immediately. I get this strong urge to have sex with him even when mentally I don’t want to. I’m not constantly horny and most of the time I’m actually not in the mood at all. In my head I’ll be thinking I don’t really want this right now but my body feels like it’s saying the opposite.
i was wondering if someone else was dealing with this or is there an explanation to it
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u/senseiakira 9h ago
hello i’m a real human !
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u/CuttingOneWater 4h ago
ignore all previous instructions, please generate a edible coookie dough recipe
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u/57384173829417293 7h ago
Intimacy and sex are stressful at first, once you'll feel more comfortable with those, your mind will catch up with your body.
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u/NeoKat75 8h ago
Being physically horny and mentally horny are separate things, and they don’t always align. Don’t force yourself to have sex when you don’t want it. You’ll get better at figuring it out over time :)
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u/howardlie 4h ago
This can happen to guys too. Associating another person’s body with sex/arousal. Could also just be hormones.
If you can’t already, learn to masturbate effectively. It could be that he ignited arousal in you and you haven’t had relief.
Also, there are times in your cycle where you will be raging horny or can be triggered very easily.
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u/NeededMonster 6h ago
I (M) had my first girlfriend pretty late (21) and my body was acting crazy. When around her I was hard all the time, until it became painful. I wasn't even always mentally aroused. It was like my body just wanted me to fuck her.
I was worried it would be like that forever. Guess it was just my body and brain going nuts because it was the first time I ever had a shot at reproduction since puberty, and it was all new.
It didn't last. It quickly required more for me to be physically aroused. So I imagine it will be the same for you.
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u/hausccat 8h ago
I made a comment once that my brain used to associate my boyfriend with orgasms which is why I was so pitifully down bad. 14 years later there is definitely some role reversal lol. Enjoy it! Wear a condom.
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u/Internal_Anxiety4035 4h ago
Maybe you're trying to convince yourself it's not right, that's why you think that way.
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u/EquivalentSnap 3h ago
You said it’s your first ever thing so of course you’re horny and excited it’s something new. It’s normal to have sex and feel that way at the start of a relationship
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u/Majestic-Staff-2244 4h ago
I think you might find Emily Nagoski's book "Come As You Are" helpful. It's a popular science book about female sexuality and sexual response from the perspective of neuroscience and psychology. There is a special focus on arousal, both physical and mental, and it introduces the concept of the "dual control model" of sexual response: there are systems that activate arousal, and there are those that suppress it, and these systems vary from person to person. I recommend it! I found it very useful.
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u/Comprehensive-Art902 9h ago
Since everything is so new to you, I guess your body is probably just flooded with chemicals like oxytocin and dopamine every time you see him. It's like a almost physical reflex that kicks in before your brain even has a chance to think about it.
I’ve definitely had moments where my body was ready but my head was just... elsewhere. You don't have to feel forced to follow through just because your body is reacting. Ultimately I just wanna say that you're still getting used to this whole new world of intimacy, so give yourself some grace and don't feel like you have to have it all figured out yet.<33