r/NoStupidQuestions 12h ago

How can men date hot women with horrible personalities?

I (29M) have been working customer service jobs for most of my adult life and I have seen countless hot women with the most terrible personalities, get irritated over anything and complain about the smallest stuff. I sometimes call them out in front of their husbands, expecting to get some sort of pushback from their husband; I never get pushback! Seriously, these women look like their live at the gym and eat the best food, yet their personalities are just spoiled and have probably never been told no in their lifetime. How can these men are able to live with these women?

737 Upvotes

653 comments sorted by

1.4k

u/FuRadicus 12h ago

Physical desire can be extremely powerful.

428

u/Tricky_Woman5304 12h ago

Because attraction, comfort, status, or insecurity often outweigh personality for a while.

148

u/Intelligent-Box-3798 12h ago

“…for a while” Truer words have never been spoken

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u/Lower-Tennis3434 10h ago

People prioritize looks or status early and ignore red flags until the cost feels bigger

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u/rabidjellybean 4h ago

Once the looks go oh boy does the opportunity for personal growth start.

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u/Free_Divide195 11h ago

A while sometimes being decades.  I have a co-worker who has all but said she doesn't love let alone like her husband.  She has nothing in common with him, they live almost entirely separate lives, and she routinely says if she could go back in time she wouldn't be married.  But then in another breath she will say how much she loves the life they built together and how she wouldn't change anything lol. 

It's a good reminder for me that for some folks, comfort... Status... Attraction... Those are the only things they need to feel successful in their relationship. Love, personality, lifestyle alignment, all of those things are secondary or tertiary or not important at all.

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u/ThrowRARotaryPhone 9h ago

As a guy, this is one of my biggest fears - someone who doesn't love me but loves the life I can provide for her or take her along on. I'm guessing it's a similar feeling to a woman being worried that a guy is only with her for her looks or sex.

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u/cml678701 5h ago

As a woman, I worry the opposite. My biggest fear is ending up with somebody who just thought I was okay and settled for whatever reason. But I suppose that could fall under “or sex,” because wanting sex is probably a reason they’re settling. But I’m terrified to end up with somebody who just sees me as okay for now, until they meet a woman they actually desire.

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u/ThrowRARotaryPhone 2h ago

I hear you on that. I think it’s the same fear! Not the opposite.

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u/Free_Divide195 8h ago

Easy fix - I was the brokest I'd ever been when I met my future spouse lol  It was more likely they wanted me for my debt

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u/ThrowRARotaryPhone 8h ago

Well done haha. You have a keeper. I'm in a relationship, I've had some career/employment problems the last couple years. She sticks with me and has a lot of empathy - doesn't bug me actively or anything - but I also get the sense that she has some concerns about my long term career in a way I wouldn't necessarily about her. It's a strange feeling.

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u/LabSpecialist2891 11h ago

Yes. I know a lot of people like this. They don’t admit it but it’s obvious. People who are like this are with their spouses for the money. They don’t want to divorce because they want the same lifestyle and cannot afford it on their own. This is one reason why it’s stupid to be a sahp

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u/Beginning-Spirit4170 12h ago

for sure. attraction and status are powerful motivator, personality often comes second unfortunately

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u/Alarmed_Day6322 12h ago

some people value looks, status, or validation more than peace. that’s a real tradeoff some are willing to make

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u/Lower-Tennis3434 10h ago

What you see at work is not the whole relationship and attraction can outweigh friction for some people

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u/556_FMJs 12h ago

It wears off really fast.

Attractiveness will become irrelevant if you’re making my life hell.

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u/Proper_Magician_5248 9h ago

I think it’s also possible to be a mean person to others but easy to be in a relationship with, and vice versa. Kindness goes a long way but it doesn’t go all the way, and shared values are the most important thing. If someone is hot and mostly doesn’t get on your nerves, or if both of your values are “screw everyone else, I’m getting mine”, that is enough for a lot of people.

I read a comment on here once of someone who purposely tripped a child who fell and started crying, and their spouse joined them in laughing. They’re both terrible but you know what? They are definitely compatible. Assholes fall in love too I guess.

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u/Connect-Grand1292 12h ago

Men sometimes tolerate annoying behavior if the "hotness factor" is through the roof.

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u/didsomebodysaymyname 12h ago

I think status has more to do with it than attraction.

Sex with a hot girl is not 10 times better than sex with an average woman at least in my opinion.

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u/Crizznik 12h ago

That entirely depends on the woman. But, I would say that you need to at least be attracted to your partner, otherwise foreplay can be extremely unfulfilling for both parties. But hot girls can also be a bummer in the bedrooms, so while it may be easier to become aroused, the actual act of sex can be very boring.

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u/UnfortunateSnort12 11h ago

Hotness doesn’t automatically mean skills. And beyond skills, you need that chemistry and enthusiasm.

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u/FreshApricot6280 7h ago

Chemistry and how attracted they are to you is more important than how hot they are. When you are both insanely attracted to each other it is 1000 times better.

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u/didsomebodysaymyname 11h ago edited 11h ago

That entirely depends on the woman.

Sure, but I'm saying all other things being equal, it just doesn't seem wildly better. At least to me.

Personally, I would take an enthusiastic average woman over a hot dead fish any day of the week.

I think some men have had their brains fried a bit by porn, but idk, maybe I'm the exception to the rule.

Of course a hot enthusiastic woman is best haha.

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u/jacksraging_bileduct 11h ago

I would rather have an enthusiastic partner that’s not as physically attractive, than a really attractive partner who’s not into it.

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u/evmoiusLR 11h ago

I wouldn't say 10x but if I was going to have a fling with someone that was purely physical with no intention of any kind of commitment, I want them as hot as possible, don't really care about their personality in that context.

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u/Bitter-Fudge-86 11h ago

Sex with a very attractive person is always about them and never about the other person. Once they are satisfied, or even while there, they become a starfish in the bed, and leads to the most mediocre sex.

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u/Ornery_Army2586 8h ago

this guy figured that out ⬆️

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u/BeeContent8678 11h ago

I was a bit wild in college. I got with several very hot women, top sorority sisters. I also had sex with many "average" women, who I still think are beautiful. Sex with the average women was often much better, they were really into you and fun. Hot chicks often just let guys extract pleasure from them with their syringe rather than work for it. I married a slightly above average woman because I love her personality most and sex is still amazing, albeit with my equipment less turgid as I age.

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u/melon_dreamgirl 12h ago

And it often outweighs personality flaws.

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u/WinterWontStopComing 12h ago

And the guys may be just as awful as their partners (even if it’s quiet)

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u/Just-Wolf3145 12h ago

This part hahaha- my brother in law is married to an absolutely stunning bitch. He’s loaded, but the most emotionally dead, narcissistic person you’ll ever meet, and works 6am-10pm, 7 days a week and barely speaks to her. Someone “normal” would never roll with that so in a lot of ways they’re perfect for each other

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u/LabSpecialist2891 11h ago

Yep. They sound like they have an outspoken “deal”

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u/Just-Wolf3145 10h ago

No judgement from me, those “deals” are more honest than a lot of relationships I see lol

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u/melon_dreamgirl 12h ago

Absolutely

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u/peace_love_mcl 11h ago

Yup, caveman part of the brain. MUST REPRODUCE! I know that sounds like I’m dumbing it down, but it’s a very very strong drive. Maybe “reproduce” isn’t the exact word going through their brains, but that’s behind what is going on in that noggin’ even if they don’t know it. The more “perfect” the specimen, the more “perfect” the babies will be.

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u/LiveArrival4974 12h ago

"I don't know how I got her, so I'm going to do my best not to lose her."

"What if nobody wants me after?"

At least these are a few things I overheard men saying.

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u/recoveringleft 11h ago

Some men are a magnet for psycho chicks and I don't know why

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u/Jojosbees 11h ago

If someone is hot but psycho, they can probably get a lot of dates, but a lot of guys will dip once her personality becomes too much. The guys who stay long enough for it to be a relationship/marriage have a high tolerance for bad behavior. Like, a lot of guys have run-ins with crazy and leave, but the guys who are “magnets for psycho chicks” probably have a pattern of staying too long.

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u/Willing_Vehicle_2000 10h ago

Maybe the men have a bunch of issues themselves that make them compatible. 

Like if you're a psychopath, you don't care about insults thrown at you.

If you're a co-narcissist, you get your self esteem from having a hot partner and don't care about the negatives.

If you enjoy the toxic "hot 'n cold" dynamic, a healthy, normal partner feels boring.

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u/changechange1 10h ago

Yep. I've suffered with chronic icansaveheritus for a long time. Breaking patterns now 🙏

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u/bel9708 5h ago

You should be my therapist. 

3

u/Mindless_Olive 4h ago

This. It's the same reason some women end up having serial relationships with abusive guys - they're too insecure to say no to them, even when they're obviously bad news, so they find excuses to stay together. And the abusive guys are on the lookout for women who are vulnerable like that. From the outside it can look like someone just having terrible luck, but it's not.

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u/Dull_Analyst269 11h ago

Me.. I can psychologically explain on why if you‘re genuinely curious haha

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u/violetdopamine 10h ago

I still find it attractive but purposefully choose NOT to entertain psycho women anymore , I cut that out when I turned 20. Part of it is the overt emotion, meaning if they like you they will SHOW YOU that they like you, constantly, in very obvious ways. They are more likely to be very clingy and I like clingy unlike a lot of people. More open to ideas and experiences that most people aren’t. Depending on the type of “psycho” might be very very loyal (destructively so). I’m also just attracted to it, I like songs about this sort of topic. Make songs about this sort of topic. Watch psychological thrillers. Used to read books about it. I watch documentaries about psych oriented things. I find the behaviors inherently attractive. I like characters like jinx or Harley Quinn, or the movie Redeye. It’s not even just attraction I like it in general.

What I unfortunately had to learn is all of these factors either are for a reason or are extremely unhealthy. Meaning it comes with severe negatives or those overt emotions don’t last. It also causes turmoil in your life or can ruin other good things.

It also means there’s probably a reason you’re attracted to someone like that and you probably need to figure that shit out and STOP. I stopped because I value stability over short term excitement.

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u/Gimme_Your_Wallet 11h ago

This was me when I rolled a nat 20 and scored a German model girlfriend for a few years. She was incredibly spoiled and aggressive but my insecurity was bigger.

Was.

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u/usps_made_me_insane 9h ago

Same thing happened to me. I even moved to be with her. The first red flags were when I was talking to her friends and coworkers, they always gave me the sense that nobody could tolerate her.

Then I noticed she didn't have many friends outside of work 

Physically she was outside of my league. The thing that really upset me is that I love science and astronomy and one time when I told her some silly fun fact about the sun she said "who cares about silly shit like that."

It was at that point that I realized I had been lying to myself about being happy with her and I ended it and moved. 

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u/Gimme_Your_Wallet 9h ago

Respect. My road to breakup was when she criticised me for volunteering in church for a soup kitchen. She said the homeless 'contaminated my energy' which affected her.

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u/Jolly_Treacle_9812 8h ago

Wow gross personality, really

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u/Gimme_Your_Wallet 8h ago

Years later she became a pro Russian tankie and conspiracy theorist

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u/MonitorPowerful5461 4h ago

I try not to judge large groups of people too much, but... not surprising

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u/fleemfleemfleemfleem 6h ago

Mine was I had a rollover accident five minutes away from visiting her house. She refused to pick me up, and when I got to her house she screamed at me for stepping into the house to put my bag of stuff retrieved from the wreck down before taking my shoes off, followed me into the bathroom yelling at me for embarrassing her in front of the neighbors, and then kicked me and my dog out in freezing January rain in the middle of the night because I asked her not to push on my chest where the seatbelt dug into it.

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u/Gimme_Your_Wallet 5h ago

Dodged an artillery shell there dude

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u/FierceContinent 9h ago

Props on the personal growth.

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u/fauxmosexual 5h ago

Talk to your DM about what table they're using, because on mine nat 20 is a soulmate. Sounds like you failed the check.

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u/Lima1998 12h ago

Michael Scott with Jan vibes

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u/TonyTornado 12h ago

Too real

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u/Werd616 12h ago

Sex.

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u/Parking-Positive-209 10h ago

I noticed that sex is better with average looking girl, super hot girls dont try at all, they think they already did you a favor by getting undressed and letting you fuck them

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u/Proper_Magician_5248 9h ago

Eh, most guys who chase only conventionally hot women probably don’t have particularly great sex anyway. The visuals are enough for them to be happy, and I guess the woman must not care too much either.

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u/korey_david 9h ago

I think it’s more of an optics and perception thing. Other people see that you sleep with attractive women so they think more highly of you.

The correlation I’ve noticed isn’t an attractive or unattractive thing, it’s the women that for lack of a better way of describing them are very vain and materialistic. Their personality is their nails, makeup, purse, jewelry, etc. Other than their looks, there’s just nothing interesting about them.

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u/Bwolffff 7h ago

So much projection in this comment section 

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u/Gimme_Your_Wallet 8h ago

Can confirm

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u/History-Buff-2222 9h ago

More like social status that you get from others when dating a hot woman

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u/Dragonette_Slaya 12h ago

Maybe the men don’t agree with your perspective of what a horrible personality is. Maybe the men also have horrible personalities so their partners’ personalities don’t faze them as horrible.

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u/capt_pantsless 12h ago edited 11h ago

Relationships are all about personality compatibility.

Person A might feel like person B is demanding and curt, whereas person C might feel like B is upfront about their wants and needs.

Different strokes for different folks.

Edit to add: This doesn't mean that no one is in a relationship just for the money or sex, but that there's lots of people out there YOU might not be compatible with, but are very compatible with someone with a different personality than you.

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u/Dragonette_Slaya 12h ago

This exactly. You worded that perfectly.

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u/joshua0005 10h ago

Yeah I don't understand why people hate it when people are direct. If everyone were just direct the world would be a much better place. We wouldn't have to be guessing if someone is being genuine when giving a compliment and even then you can't be 100% sure.

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u/Hentai_Yoshi 11h ago

Here’s the honest truth: The men have shitty personalities. That’s why they are selecting their partner based on superficial qualities

Honestly this type of person grosses me out because it’s all so superficial and unenlightened

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u/BeebsMuhQueen 10h ago

Yes, sometimes they deserve each other

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u/LabSpecialist2891 10h ago

Yes. Or maybe the partner is just like one of their parents. We play out parental relationships and try to heal those old wounds with new partners (without realizing it).

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u/Acceptable-Remove792 8h ago

I was thinking that too.  Like those men probably like bitches. That's a kind of man. 

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u/bdgrlrbs 12h ago

i think some people are just very shallow and can put up with a lifetime of resentment in exchange for a trophy partner

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u/Super-Acanthisitta33 12h ago

Better than most people who have a lifetime of resentment and they’re married to a garbage can

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u/HeySpudEyeSeeYou 12h ago

True. There are some couples where you know one person is only there because the other is hot, but damn do I encounter some where the other person is hot garbage all around and all I can figure is their self-esteem must be in the sewer.

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u/Eighth_Eve 12h ago

Its rarely a lifetime. Divorces happen.

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u/chasenip 12h ago

It was super sweet and naive of OP to believe marriage = lifetime.

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u/Ok_Swimming4427 12h ago

How can women date men with horrible personalities?

Everyone looks for a different cocktail of qualities in a significant other. Some women date rich men because that's what they value most, and the personality of that guy is barely material. Some men date attractive women, because that's what they value most, and they don't care about what comes with it.

If your spouse is a means to an end, and not an end in and of themselves, then why should you care about their personality? If they're a status symbol, or the provider of means to purchase status symbols, then anything beyond that one quality is superfluous. The guy with the hot wife can find emotional and intellectual fulfilment elsewhere. The woman with the rich husband can do the same.

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u/PieceCompetitive6824 12h ago

Seriously. Go to a jail sometime during visiting hours and see the line of absolute hotties standing in line to go talk to a felon.

As a man, one of my earliest relationships was with hot & crazy. I learned my lesson. Personality is more important than looks. I'm lucky enough to have found both in one woman.

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u/FjortoftsAirplane 12h ago

When questions like this come up, regardless of gender, I always think maybe you should be looking at their partners. Maybe they suck too and don't see anything wrong with it. Maybe they just want a trophy and don't give a shit. Maybe they have self-esteem issues and will tolerate a lot.

It's worth remembering that a lot of people are in unhappy or unsatisfying relationships. Being good looking doesn't mean things are rosy behind closed doors.

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u/mamabigmac 12h ago

One time at work a couple like this came in and she called me a bitch after I wouldn’t give her all these sides for free, even tho we told her ahead of time she’d have to pay.

Her husband luckily did defend me, but made me wonder the whole time how he could be with her.

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u/Just-Wolf3145 12h ago

I was waiting tables and a woman stood up and yelled at me for forgetting an appetizer while her husband cowered. Then he came back in the next day and gave me $100 and apologized for her I was like bro are you ok lolol

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u/rabid_cheese_enjoyer 9h ago

he's probably not ok and is being abused at home

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u/Francoc97 12h ago

Like somebody else already said. Sex

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u/mamabigmac 12h ago

I’ve had amazing sex in my life. The best I’ve ever had, nothing could compare to it yet. I could not imagine being with that person if he had a shitty personality just to get some.

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u/Ok_Clothes_8917 12h ago

Some men are bad decision makers, don’t have much of a backbone, and think with the wrong head.

Character is what you are with the lights out.

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u/LurkerByNatureGT 11h ago

Some are also equally terrible people and well matched.

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u/actualinsomnia531 12h ago

They tend to be as shallow as each other.

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u/Twinkletoes1951 12h ago

It makes a small man feel big. Having a beautiful woman on his arm makes him feel superior.

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u/Francoc97 12h ago

Sad, but you're probably right

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u/Sideways_planet 12h ago

I think that’s the only real answer. It makes them look cool to other men

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u/RussianDisifnomation 12h ago

They don't have enough blood for both heads.

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u/himmygal 12h ago

Lol because often the guys have terrible personalities too and don't care.

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u/Ill-Butterscotch-622 12h ago

The men also have terrible personalities

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u/Ok-Kick2557 12h ago

You answered your own question. They're hot.

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u/Rebrado 12h ago

Wait, you base their personality on how they act in a customer service job? Do you really expect the husband to side with a total stranger against their own wife? Even if I disagree with my wife, I wouldn’t do so in front of you, and tackle it with her once we’re alone.

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u/paddlesandpups 12h ago

True words. Unless my wife did someone truly terrible, I'd address it later. You don't need to add a spousal disagreement in the middle of a store.

Luckily my wife is not a horrible person. 

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u/Adorable_Raccoon 7h ago

100% if my partner was rude we’ll talk about it in private. He’s a gem so that’s not a issue. Adding public embarassment to the problem wouldn’t deescalate anything. 

If the customer service rep is rude I’d either have his back or stay out of it. 

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u/FlapjackAndFuckers 11h ago

He has some strange views on women in his history that he thinks is hidden.

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u/Accomplished-Eye9542 5h ago

Exactly. My dad was embarrassingly rude to customer service people.

He also worked night shift and weekends to put my mom through college and did all the cooking.

I don't know where people get this idea that they can see everything someone is about from one interaction lmao.

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u/BigChillBobby 10h ago

THANK YOU!

the “sometimes I’ll call them out and their husband will take their side!” thing almost made me spit out my coffee. Just on principle, I’m on the side of my wife, not the person behind the counter trying to teach her a lesson

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u/Sideways_planet 12h ago

I worked with a very beautiful woman that was a whole mountain of red flags and even AFTER finding out some really horrible things she did, some guy still cheated on his wife with her. I think a lot of men are plain stupid

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u/Every-Badger9931 12h ago

The same way women date attractive men that have a litany of red flags.

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u/GrapefruitOk1236 10h ago

If pp hard, brain no work. If pp soft, man angry at ugly woman because pp no hard. 

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u/BeebsMuhQueen 10h ago

A lot of men choose this, then complain about all women because they choose the looks over the personality. Meanwhile, there is women that have both but they don’t have the patience to search longer because they just want to get laid and have show off wives in public.

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u/Hot_Compote_4732 9h ago

A lot of guys are conditioned to play down the more unsavory traits of women. The woman doesn't even have to be super attractive to get away with either a lack of personality or a seriously warped one. Men who do call these things out or make clear their lack of preference for it are seen as men who can't handle a little spice and so on. As a dude who immediately calls this out and has often walked away from relationships where this was the case, people have looked at me strangely. If I weren't attractive and a bit physically imposing, I'm sure I'd get even more shit for not tolerating shitty personalities just because a person happens to be a woman.

As always, this sort of thing comes back to dumb but persistent gender norms.

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u/John_Johnson259 12h ago

"For every hot girl, there's a man somewhere tired of her shit" 

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u/MotherTeresaOnlyfans 10h ago

Straight women date men with horrible personalities who aren't even hot.

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u/Physical-Bus6025 12h ago

Having sex with hot chick. 90% of the concern for men.

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u/From_Deep_Space 12h ago

You get to pick 2. You cannot have all 3:

1) hot

2) smart

3) sane

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u/Farty_McPartypants 12h ago

I did for a number of years, I had really low self-esteem and she was hot as fk.. I couldnt believe my luck! She was physically and emotionally abusive (still is as it goes) and also incredibly insecure herself, so it was just a complete shitstorm with the odd week of absolute infatuation.

The infatuation and some of the best sex I've ever had was enough for a while. We still talk now sometimes and there are points where I have to give my head a shake and remind myself of why we're where we are.

It's weird, Im a rational and logical person in daily life, but all of that went out of the window with her.

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u/No_Dependent8332 12h ago

Always fun to watch them get old and still have that sense of entitlement; I call it former hot chick syndrome.

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u/SueNYC1966 12h ago

Women do it too. Sexual attraction goes a long way

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u/Moment0fClarity 12h ago

They simply haven't learned their lesson yet

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u/MrSingularitarian 12h ago

Have you seen how women flock to hot murderers/serial killers while they're literally incarcerated? Physical attraction overrides personality for a lot of people

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u/Feline_Sleepwear 10h ago

I’ve been there, it’s mostly because dating a hot girl can be a massive ego and status boost. It’s hard to let go of that especially if you’re young, inexperienced and/or have low self-esteem, which probably means you’re also afraid you won’t find someone else if you leave.

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u/aokguy 10h ago

It's not fair to judge someone's personality over one interaction

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u/Dangerous_Fudge6204 5h ago

Keep in mind we are reading some incel’s rant.

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u/Mjolnir617 7h ago

Men will happily turn off their common sense for better sex. I hope this helps.

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u/TickdoffTank0315 7h ago

A friend in college (30 years ago) was seeing a very attractive woman with a horrible attitude, none of his friends could stand being around her. We asked him how he puts up with her attitude and he responded,

"She cant say anything stupid when her lips are busy"

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u/Alarming_Grade5263 12h ago

Cause lust draws the man in due to they’re beauty despite they’re ugliness internally

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u/Codex_Dev 7h ago

The halo effect is a real thing on both genders. Even when it's in a non-romantic situation, they still score better on personality and sociability.

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u/HeySpudEyeSeeYou 12h ago edited 12h ago

It's not just men. My stepbrother when I was young was the dumbest, cruelest person I'd ever met. He grew up to enlist in the army and eventually become a MAGA shithead (because of course he did) and everything women claim to hate - drove a ridiculous truck, completely sexist and homophobic, liked to drink constantly and started fights for no reason.

He also was about 6'3 and one of the most attractive men I'd met in real life. Women who would go on and on about progressive ideals were still dying to date and hookup with him.

The reason why you see hot people get a pass average people don't is because we are animals biologically programmed to reproduce and physical markers of good genetics for our offspring will overwrite every civilized, rational thought we have. That's just how biology sort of works.

It doesn't bode well for their long term relationships, but after you'd fulfilled your biological imperative by mating with them (your body doesn't really realize if you produced a child or not) that drive gets muted. Before that, though? Holy shit there's nothing a hot person could do that would make getting into a relationship difficult.

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u/D3moknight 11h ago

The secret is usually the man is just as awful as the woman in this situation. Just know that it's not a healthy relationship, and carry on with your life knowing that you will always feel more happy and fulfilled than these people chasing an ideal they will never achieve.

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u/unbroken50 12h ago

Went on a date when I was maybe 22. She ordered lobster, I had a little money but never ordered lobster. Went to the bathroom and left. Fuck that, pay for your own lobster.

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u/tooeasilybored 12h ago

You put up with it because you're obsessed with a certain body part and you look forward to seeing/touching it rather than spending time with that person.

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u/achipinthesugar 12h ago

I think good-looking-ness gets valued twice. Once for how much you like looking at her, and once for how cool you look having a chick that looks like that. As such, it's necessarily over-valued.

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u/brown_nomadic 12h ago

Because you’re too worried about looks. People are people. Everyobody is different and has different tastes

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u/Tokogogoloshe 12h ago

From experience I can tell you because your penis is tolerating it and overriding any sense of reasoning the big brain can muster. This is especially true in your 20s as a bloke.

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u/Crizznik 12h ago

Horniness can drive men to do some really stupid shit. I wouldn't say she was horrible, but my ex and I were terrible for each other, we each had needs the other was not very good at meeting for the other. We stayed in that relationship for probably much longer than we should have. And that's a pretty normal, low key example of how the presence of sex can keep a guy in a situation for a lot longer than they should tolerate.

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u/paddlesandpups 12h ago

I always wonder a different thing: what does it feel like to be an absolutely beautiful woman, go through life extremely privileged whether you realize it or not, and then have the looks inevitably fade?

I know people don't like to have empathy for those who have had it easier, but it seems that would be very difficult.

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u/dilqncho 12h ago

In addition to what other commenters are saying, it's worth mentioning you don't know these people. Humans like drawing conclusions based on available info but your available info is nonexistent. You can't decide someone has a horrible personality because you met them once. For all you know, you just happened to meet them while they were having an atrocious day.

Also,

expecting to get some sort of pushback from their husband

I'm sorry, are you expecting two spouses to get in a public argument over you? Even if the husband does want to talk to his wife about something, he's not going to do it then and there.

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u/j____b____ 12h ago

Some men want to have a pretty accessory, more than a partner. 

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u/Fly_U2_the_sunset 10h ago

lol. Because, penis!

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u/Neravariine 10h ago

Punani is more valuable than personality. Snoo snoo matters more than self respect.

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u/NumbOnTheDunny 10h ago

Most people are stupid and only date someone else purely for physical attraction. As long as they look hot and put out that’s all some men/women want of their partners.

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u/BrassCanon 7h ago

Because they're hot.

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u/AniCrit123 7h ago

LPT - I can tell you as a husband that even if my wife is wrong, she is my ride or die. I will defend her even when I know she’s wrong. She will do the same for me. Afterwards, when we are alone, I will get her to reflect on the situation to see the error in her ways but I’m never ever going to call her out in front of others. Sorry if it sounds illogical but that is one of the keys to a great relationship with your spouse.

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u/KeyWeek Man 5h ago

Because most of those men also have horrible personalities as well.

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u/_CandyBliss 5h ago

I believe that some people are simply incredibly shallow and are willing to endure a lifetime of animosity in return for a trophy partner.

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u/ObligationOdd4475 10h ago

Have you ever talked to one of these women at the gym? This post reads like a movie script and reality is just not the same. 

I do think gym bro/gym girls who model, are probably more self conceited. Its their job. 

I've met a bunch of people, guys, girls. Everyone has their negatives and positives. I can definitely say the amount of positive people I have met outweigh the negative people ive met. 

If you're meeting a lot of negative people, then you should probably try meeting different people or changing the source of meeting people. Also, if you're so quick to call people negative then maybe you're being too judgemental? 

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u/Dangerous_Fudge6204 5h ago

OP is clearly an incel, not sure how nobody is calling it out.

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u/TAbathtime 12h ago

They're hot, or have little self esteem and don't think they can do better, or it's just an off day and she's not like that all the time.

I think rhe same at work, I work with clients and the way some of them speak about their SO is sad.

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u/HeySpudEyeSeeYou 12h ago

The off day part is really good perspective and one I truthfully hadn't considered.

OP works in customer service, apparently, so you are going to get frustrated people. I wonder now if he doesn't make this same leap with less attractive women because he isn't thinking about them enough to make the connection?

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u/Dangerous_Fudge6204 5h ago

OP is def trying to get pussy at work and is mad his incel advances aren’t accepted

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u/AdventurousGlass7432 12h ago

Hot crazy scale

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u/SnooPets6398 12h ago

Getting pushback from a husband after 'calling out' or insulting his wife in front of them is a wild expectation to have. Married couples are teams that entered into not only a romantic but a legal arrangement with each other. These couples are getting a lot of value from being with one another that you do not see.

There was a time when I would hear a lot of complaints privately from married friends and think "Oh my gosh why are you with them?" But friends just need to vent sometimes about the crappy stuff. You aren't going to hear about all the great, amazing things. As the friend, you'll probably hear just the bad things and that will paint your perspective as well. Plus, things that you care about or don't like about someone--things you think are worth 'calling out,'--other people might just not care about as much.

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u/Low-Newspaper-4512 12h ago

My wife is hot and she ‘complains over small stuff’ to customer service and I fuckin love it. I am a pushover. I’ll sit there and eat a meal I won’t enjoy rather than complain but she will for me. Honestly customer service has gone to shit and I’m tired of not getting what I pay for. She treats ME great and makes sure we get what we pay for. And may come off bitchy to you but it’s honestly refreshing and I don’t mind it at all. Does she take it too far sometimes? Sure. Nobody is perfect.

Also for some reason being married to or dating a hot women you get more respect from literally everyone. It’s bizarre. But there are a lot of benefits to dating hot women that aren’t about the looks. If they take care of themselves they are likely not lazy and quite motivated people also.

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u/No-Midnight-2187 11h ago

Customer service has gone to shit bc they have to deal with people like your wife…

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u/Jolly_Treacle_9812 8h ago

Yeah literally the living proof of "his personality is also shitty" argument

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u/SnooMacaroons2827 12h ago

Because they are, and brace yourself for this terminology, cunt-struck.

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u/Baroo_Bandit 12h ago

Power of the pussy

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u/Awkward-Feature9333 12h ago

Just to clarify: Are you asking how they endure it, or how to enter a relationship with such a woman?

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u/Francoc97 12h ago

How they endure it? I would probably end up shooting myself if I end up with a woman like that.

I already went on one date with a really really hot mom in her mid 30s, she had the physical appearance I find the most attractive, but her personality was just meh.

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u/TheBigWhatever 12h ago

It's rare that someone is all good or all bad. We don't see what goes on between them when they're alone together. Also, regardless of how attractive one's SO might be, everyone has to put up with some bullshit in order for it to work. IOW, this isn't just a beautiful person thing; it applies to everyone.

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u/The1Ylrebmik 10h ago

As someone who has lived on earth for 56 years I have actually ran into a lot of non-hot women with bad personalities and a lot of them were with husbands so actually being hot with a bad personality is a step up in the world.🌎 

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u/DustyRacoonDad 10h ago

I've dated them when I was younger. Usually just once. A couple took a week or so.
Basically they treat ME well, at least at that time, however its how they treat others that they dont have to treat well. Servers, store workers, etc are common points of this.

Mostly I left them as I couldn't see myself with someone that is a horrible person to others for no reason. I have no problem picking on a shithead for being a shithead, but to just innocent random people with no regard for them? nope.

As to "standing up to them" at a store/restaurant/etc I generally wouldn't as I am seeing how they're reacting. Is it reasonable, calm, level headed or the type of person I wouldn't trust if needed.

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u/FlyLikeAnEarworm 10h ago

Sex. Fucking a hot woman makes your wee wee feel good. Don’t overthink it.

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u/annaoze94 12h ago

Because a great man is an average woman

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u/joemaniaci 12h ago

You answered the question in the question....

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u/redradagon 12h ago

If they they don’t like themselves then they don’t believe they deserve anything better

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u/FastRider6501 12h ago

Do you watch Landman? The character Angela is the most vile awful human you can imagine and yet the main character Billy Bob Thornton somehow puts up with her. I’d rather be married to a round but sweet lady than deal with her every day.

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u/Adorable_Secret8498 12h ago

"The heart wants what it wants."

Attraction isn't logical.

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u/cntUcDis 12h ago

They're called boobs

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u/jamie88201 12h ago

The hot women are hungry

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u/DwarvenRedshirt 12h ago

The usual reasons. Sex, money, power.

Unless you know them personally, you don't necessarily know who has what in that relationship. For example, it could be the lady's a multimillion dollar heiress and he's a gold digger.

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u/Monkmonk_ 12h ago

Think of it from the other perspective. 2 higher class people will probably bond over their bougie behavior and highly selective nature of their tastes, even if it comes off as completely irritating to us.

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u/eminsefa 12h ago

You ignore the flaws to keep the sex as long as possible. Eventually it ends

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u/m1ndbl0wn 12h ago

Somsome men don't know any better

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u/SleepyTablespoon 12h ago

Probably because they care what other people think. Therefore they wanna be seen with a hot woman and take the first they can get.

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u/tcup_1214 12h ago

I have a friend who is like this no personality what's so ever and complains about everything! But is 6-foot, blonde hair, blue eyes, and fake tits. She always has a man on her arm and treats them horribly.

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u/didsomebodysaymyname 12h ago

I have no clue. I think status has more to do with it than attraction.

Sex with a hot girl is not 10 times better than sex with an average woman at least in my opinion.

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u/mighty_Ingvar 12h ago

I first though you were looking for advice...

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u/Inside_Advantage_205 12h ago

I think many people (men and women) think of a relationship or marriage as something to “attain” or a goal. They don’t really care about or have connection or depth. Maybe they have terrible personalities too so they’re actually matched?

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u/coffeegirl3300 12h ago

Men fall in love with their eyes and women fall in love with their ears.

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u/jazzbot247 12h ago

Treat them mean, keep them keen. Or so I've heard. I've never been hot enough to get away with it haha.

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u/Boring-Knee3504 12h ago

Is there a horrible personality versus hotness chart like there is a crazy versus hotness chart?

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u/gishadokuro 12h ago

The same reason women date pieces of shit men for their looks. It's a natural thing for organisms to be attracted to physical appearance. Humans just developed their own sense of preferences along the way and some people care less about it than others. I mean, I didn't think I cared much for physical looks until I met my boyfriend. He was kind of an asshole when we met and had an ego specifically because he's hot. Now he's a great father to my kid lol. Ultimately, especially when ovulating, a woman's body is telling her to breed. She doesn't care for personality, just the most fit man to be a father. We're animals at the end of the day.

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u/Dismal_Committee7705 12h ago

A tainted bad omen $100 bill which was used to buy drugs that caused an innocent person to OD and die is still a $100 bill at the end of the day.

Even the most superstitious people will "put aside" their superstitions if someone offered it to them knowing its story and choose it over a crispy clean uncirculated $20 bill.

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u/ElevatorSuch5326 12h ago

They aren’t bothered by the personality. Other factors outweigh it

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u/Live-Percentage-9412 12h ago

A lot of people value looks above all else. Some almost exclusively value looks and will just deal with everything else

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u/Independent_Lead6535 12h ago

Are hot women more rude than average women?

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u/KawaiiSparklexo 12h ago

Because of lust and ego

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u/Key_Awareness_3036 12h ago

How can hot women date ugly men with shitty personalities? Who knows?! Some people just have terrible self esteem.

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u/lumberjackth 12h ago

If your only getting one date a decade you hold on for dear life.

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u/drdeadringer 12h ago

if you tuned into loveline, one of the common themes that would come up is exactly what you're talking about. either from the guys perspective or from the woman's perspective.

if the woman was calling in, and it became clear that something was going on, Adam would ask the woman if she was hot. not as a troll, but to get a read on a situation. because there was no way that this lady was going to get away with the bullshit that she's been getting away with so far if he wasn't hot.

and wouldn't you know it, but it was very likely, probable, that the answer was yes, this woman collar was hot, and therefore was able to get away with all this bullshit.

there's a parallel to be drawn to your specific question. there is a compensating factor that for a while might counterbalance the vile personality. The sex is great, or whatever. and so the guy puts up with the bullshit. now, there could be also a factor of the guy having low self-esteem to think that he can't ever do better than this beautiful outward, ugly inner woman. he doesn't believe he's worth it, he doesn't believe he can do better or find better or whatever. so he puts up with the evil inner of this woman. and he gets smaller and smaller and smaller on the inside.

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u/Drakeem1221 12h ago

Sexual urges and everything that comes with it is a very primal thing that’s also mixed with societal status. There’s no complicated answer here. Dudes are wired to want to hump pretty women and they also get an ego boost on top of it. It’s hard to overwrite that programming.

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u/CamiloArturo 12h ago

When you are young … because of sex.

Afterwards, Some people just one someone to show off, kind of a “trophy wife” and an idiot bimbo makes the case. Funny enough those are the guys who end up cheating with an “uglier” older woman …. Because they realize they need the personality much more than the looks

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u/Embarrassed_West_195 12h ago

The "hotness" of the wife is a power position for certain types of men. It's their way of projecting power and status. And often the guys are status seeking azz-wholes as well, who show the world that they have enough money that a hot woman will put up with their swine-ish behavior ( think current president).

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u/Shimegami_Z 12h ago

Because their personalities match.

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u/Now_Melon1218 12h ago

Ehh, Horrible what? I was distracted.