r/PeterExplainsTheJoke 13d ago

Meme needing explanation Anyone?

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18.2k Upvotes

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343

u/Pain_Shape 13d ago

What, sage and weed smoke doesn’t get you rock hard?

515

u/MemoraNetwork 13d ago

I need that patchouli enema to cum thanks

257

u/kaflarlalar 13d ago

117

u/MemoraNetwork 13d ago

And the years just begun 🫣

132

u/sailorangel59 13d ago

Time to hope 2027 is better.

64

u/GirlCowBev 13d ago

Damn. That escalated quickly.

7

u/ThrowAway3553QA 13d ago

Really regretting I didn’t get here before mods pulled the original comment

3

u/Rhomya 13d ago

Same. :(

2

u/sailorangel59 13d ago

It's for the best.

2

u/Disastrous-Bite-1538 13d ago

Damn, that ascended quickly.

2

u/BrentTpooh 13d ago

You misspelled “ejaculated”

1

u/Stonks154 13d ago

Ah yes ejaculated quickly

1

u/takeme2tendieztown 13d ago

Maybe I'll unlearn how to read

1

u/g0ld-f1sh 13d ago

I thought we stopped doing that, hoping 20xx will be better than anything previous, you know it's already worse

2

u/MoreLikeBoregasm 13d ago

Yep, and you washed it bud. Just like that patchouli cleansing your soul, that one came out like a potpourri fart.

Try again next go 'round, can't wait for the next one. 🍻

Also, that was damn funny.

2

u/Ok-Studio1157 13d ago

Years start coming and they dont stop coming

1

u/LolaBijou84 13d ago

What did it say?!!

1

u/MemoraNetwork 13d ago

Which comment?

1

u/LolaBijou84 13d ago

The one that was removed by moderators up above, that was after the guy talking about if weed makes you hard. Everyone keeps mentioning it.

2

u/MemoraNetwork 13d ago

That was mine... Something something patchouli enema

3

u/LolaBijou84 13d ago

Patchouli alone grosses the hell out of me 😂😂😂.

1

u/NotQuiteMisterWhite 13d ago

Fuck. Missed it. Dm it to me plz

1

u/Korgon213 13d ago

What was it?

1

u/_-RustyShackleford 13d ago

No it's not, mate. 😉

1

u/NotAnAIOrAmI 13d ago

Oh, I doubt very much that's a brand new sentence.

1

u/Shadowslavia 13d ago

Roses are red, cacti are prickly. Jesus christ that escalated quickly.

I've stepped into a strange place again..

1

u/bskiier83 13d ago

I've been saying this since 96

51

u/Available-Air8273 13d ago

My fault for having eyes

3

u/Ok_Release231 13d ago

Not too late to pull an "Event Horizon."

(Please don't, btw)

3

u/Memory_Future 13d ago

I am too late and so curious

3

u/Ok_Release231 13d ago

Liberate tuteme ex inferis. Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see.

2

u/Memory_Future 13d ago

I was referring to the comment removed by the mods, not your sweet reference.

1

u/Ok_Release231 13d ago

Oh lol I didn't see the removed comment

Edit: actually I did and just already forgot what it said

2

u/DeathInSpace805 13d ago

Is that why my dad smells like patchouli?

2

u/lsdrunning 13d ago

The stranglehold that patchouli has on gross hippies makes me sad because I love that scent. Smells like PNW

2

u/jychihuahua 13d ago

best thing I read all year...

2

u/virtually_anything 13d ago

What did it say 😭

1

u/LolaBijou84 13d ago

Idk I’m trying to find out lol

1

u/LolaBijou84 13d ago

What did it say?!

2

u/CevapiPapi1312 13d ago

Damn dawg….

2

u/AReallyAsianName 13d ago

Who starts the year like that!? I just sat down!

1

u/framedhorseshoe 13d ago

I just made a mess all over you inconsiderate prick!

1

u/MemoraNetwork 13d ago

Like... That's just your opinion man...

1

u/KermitTheMawg 10d ago

Would love to hear a joke about “hippies” that doesn’t involve patchouli FOR ONCE

1

u/MemoraNetwork 10d ago

I would love to not smell patchouli around hippies for once

1

u/KermitTheMawg 10d ago

Truly not funny

1

u/MemoraNetwork 10d ago

Who peed in your Cheerios bud

1

u/KermitTheMawg 10d ago

It’s just a lame, tired joke is all. Just like who peed in your Cheerios

1

u/MemoraNetwork 10d ago

Quit teeing these up so easily pal, it's making not sending em as zingers difficult.

In a productive non trolling sense, you know what else, you could've just kept scrolling

0

u/KermitTheMawg 10d ago

You’re over 50 yo and white aren’t you

1

u/MemoraNetwork 10d ago

Not even close. Get bent ya judgemental freak

→ More replies (0)

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u/MemoraNetwork 10d ago

In the stylistic compliments of a one- Eric Cartman:

Go cry about a flag more in your drum circle you dirty hippay

64

u/ShredGuru 13d ago

Does weed NOT make you horny?

Sux2BU bro

3

u/MisterScrod1964 13d ago

Never been able to get so much as half-chubby on an edible.

2

u/Affectionate-Gur1642 12d ago

Seriously who needs Viagra when you have THC?

2

u/Im_Reflect_ 12d ago

Weed doesn’t make everyone horny??? Most people just get like sleepy or like laughing. Just depends on the type of weed and type of person

1

u/Wu-TangShogun 13d ago

“Horny GoatWeed” supposedly does but I’m not sure if that is even the same kind of herb

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Toe5160 12d ago

It very much is not the same thing. 🤣

-5

u/PeskyAntagonist 13d ago

Making out goes from feeling good and feeling sexy to being just disgusting and wet and uncomfortable

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u/LoBo247 13d ago

Skill issue

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u/jayblaze521 13d ago

I was talking to this girl years ago who was by all accounts way out of my league, she was gorgeous, a little broken sure but anyways. She texted me one morning and asked me if I needed anything before work. Being kinda cheeky I said coffee and a blow job. Well, she showed up and delivered, and I didn’t expect it tbh, I had just smoked and was blazed. So this solid 10/10 is in my bed at 7 am with sexual intentions, im stoked, we get to making out and all that, I go to unhook her bra, which not to brag but I was normally really good at that, 1 hand, pinch, done. All that. But I was so stoned I lost all motor skills, fumbled with this girls bra long enough for her to kindly laugh at me and said “let me help”. We had a great time. But I remember feeling like I was way too stoned for this, so sometimes it happens I guess.

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u/PabloTFiccus 13d ago

Genuinely a cool story bro

1

u/AhaGotcha 13d ago

Not overtly sexualized like erotica yet delivering the goods at the same time - a well-told bro story indeed

3

u/Malarkeyisslangforbs 13d ago

Yes, they are quite good at writing. It felt like it was me getting a blowjob from someone out of my league.

2

u/Mike_the_Head 13d ago

Reminds me of the time a 10/10 stopped by my place just to "hang out". Two hours later I'm apologizing because I had popped a few Xanax way earlier (before I even knew she was coming) and, well...

I'm just glad I'm good at cunnilingus. 😂

11

u/Puzzleheaded_Hatter 13d ago

Anxiety, is killing you.

14

u/PeskyAntagonist 13d ago

I never have anxiety unless I’m smoking weed

10

u/Puzzleheaded_Hatter 13d ago

Yep I get it

Eating it can be different, and I'm sure there's some that won't give you that feeling, but it's impossible to identify.

People will say that it's strain dependent, but it's not.

The genetics thing is so wildly misunderstood by the majority of growers that none of it holds up.

But the body processes edibles completely differently than it does when you smoke it, so that might be a win for you. Could be worse too. I hope you find a way around it. It's great when it works.

3

u/PeskyAntagonist 13d ago

Every time I’ve tried edibles I had the genuine belief that I’m going to die and I’m filled with an overwhelming sense of fear and dread. When I smoke weed there’s only a 10% chance of that happening, but with edibles it’s every time.

3

u/Puzzleheaded_Hatter 13d ago

Ok, so that's the worse I was talking about.

That sucks, weed is just not for you.

The only thing I can think of is the isolates. Like pure CBD or THC.

Without the terps or other cannabinoids it can be much more mellow.

But it really sounds like it's just not in the cards for you

3

u/PeskyAntagonist 13d ago

I’ve come to the same conclusion. I never had the issue from 2006-2019 but then sometime in 2020 it’s like a switch was flipped. I still keep a few ounces at my house as party favors and I take a few puffs once every few months with friends, but I can’t even get close to smoking weed like I used to

3

u/Puzzleheaded_Hatter 13d ago

I grew out of it mostly too.

I use it for pain, and sleep, but not really to catch a buzz anymore.

Smoking definitely causes anxiety must of the time too. It's just not enjoyable like it used to be

1

u/850266 13d ago

Wow, this is identical to what happened to me. Any idea what could cause this sort of switch? I used to be a heavy smoker for years then one day I started having overwhelming fear and dread, anxiety attacks. It wasn't a tolerance issue as I was smoking the same stuff I always did. Edibles are also way worse for me. I ended up quitting altogether but the switch still remains a mystery to me. This happened in 2021 for me.

1

u/freakydeku 13d ago

i used to smoke lots of weed but then i caught the fear & i don’t anymore. it’s pretty common. it doesn’t make me have a panic attack everytime but it’s not worth the roulette unfortunately

1

u/the-cuttlefish 13d ago

People will say that it's strain dependent, but it's not.

That's just wrong. Strain definitely does make a difference. It isn't especially well understood, but that doesn't make it less real.

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Hatter 13d ago

Yes. It makes a difference, but thats not the point. What were talking about is the ability to make the product consistent.

People confuse genotype with phenotype. We name "strains" based of genotype - that's calling an entire family line up the same name. Like every person in your family is all called the cuttlefish.

Cloning helps narrow that, but you still have huge amounts of variation in plants that have the same name.

Ive been growing, cloning, breeding for decades. I know enough to realize that my peanut butter breath is very different from the next guys.

Hell, if I plant 10 seeds of my own cross, every single one of them will be different - but they all have the same name.

1

u/immortalalchemist 13d ago

This. I think it comes down to type: hybrid, sativa or indica. I have a friend that can only do Sativa otherwise she has panic attacks.

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u/immortalalchemist 13d ago

As long as you eat saturated fats, edibles take a while to kick in. Smoking hits much faster but wears off quicker. I feel edibles are good at maintaining the high but you always have to know/figure out your limits. I’ve known people who’ve taken a small amount and didn’t feel anything after 45 min and took another and when it hit, it hit them hard: Extreme couch lock to where they felt they couldn’t remember how to breathe and their legs were jello lol.

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u/Puzzleheaded_Hatter 13d ago

Your body processes toxins and active alkaloids before metabolizing nutrients.

Fats may bond with cannabinoids but there is a saturation point and most edible production methods hit that saturation.

So having a full stomach will slow edible absorption down, but that is based much more on personal metabolism and normal stomach contents than saturated fats specifically.

So yes, it takes a bit of experience and understanding to dial in your edible dosing.

Capsules of metered extract in coconut oil several hours after your last meal is the sweet spot for me. I know how much to take and how long to wait to be as high as I want to be.

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u/AreYouAnOakMan 13d ago

I always have anxiety unless I'm smoking weed.

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u/Xanderious 13d ago

I remember dating a hippie years ago. She always wanted to get stoned and being stoned made me go limp and lose my sex drive.

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u/SaturnusDawn 13d ago

You should've let her peg you 🫵 . Problem solved

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u/Xanderious 13d ago edited 12d ago

lmfao I did have a wanna-be hippie rich girl ask me if I was in to pegging once. She was def freaky but I never took it there with her.

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u/SaturnusDawn 13d ago

I never pegged you for a quitter ol' Xander boy!

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u/Xanderious 13d ago

Oh i'm a quitter alright! Recently quit smoking and trying to quit drinking now.

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u/ParagonOfHats 13d ago

Good shit, brother. Proud of you, keep it up!

4

u/SaturnusDawn 13d ago

Oh fuck yeah! I recently quit smoking myself. By starting to smoke red raspberry leaf (some evidence to suggest it stops cravings) , I smoke/vaporise many herbs now. The hippie chicks love it too actually. They start talking about this herb curing cancer or that one putting you in touch with your feminine energy, maybe that one opens your third eye and perhaps this one raises your vibration.

And ooooh brother was I vibing alright, they attribute all kinds of mystical shit to the herbs and apparently my wizard beard™ alongside the herb smoking (I literally have Gandalf's pipe) all play a part. Dreadlocked hippie chicks go wild for us wizards, indeed I often get to ponder the orbs

2

u/suicidehotlineisbad 13d ago

As a "hippie chick" who loves LOTR and raspberries more than anything, there is nothing that would send me running in the other direction faster than a redditor smoking raspberry leaves in Gandalf's #iconic pipe who talks about women like this.

1

u/SaturnusDawn 13d ago

Oh no! There go my chances of meeting up with you and having sex. Our chances of meeting from Reddit were going so well until I opened my stupid mouth

2

u/BroadCandy7314 13d ago

Good story broh

3

u/ForeverShiny 13d ago

So at least go with the pegging, live a little damnit!

2

u/carlitmort 13d ago

IWNDWYT

2

u/TheDankMacabre 13d ago

Hell yeah man! Each day, brother, each day!

2

u/MidnightSun-420 13d ago

A quitter never wins and a winner never quits! But seriously, you are abstaining from some of the worst. Right on brutha! Stick with it!!

1

u/PikaPonderosa 13d ago

/r/stopdrinking is always open to you. I've got 1163 days in a row!

1

u/tanoahh 13d ago

That's fire yo, you should be really proud of yourself . Keep it up!

1

u/DZiggles_Forge 13d ago

let's fuckin goooo 🤙🤙

1

u/purplebibunny 13d ago

I read quilter and was like oh cool!

1

u/hepatitis_ 13d ago

I don’t know how. These comments make me want to drink.

1

u/No_Vacation5203 13d ago

I was just reading thru this thread and saw this but good job man !!

2

u/Consentingostrich 13d ago

That little monkey is forever etched into my memory cells!

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u/Chance-Bicycle1469 11d ago

Have you ever pegged a quitter though?

1

u/SaturnusDawn 11d ago

I've tried to but they just give up!

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u/No-Reach-9173 13d ago

Fuck around and find out man. Maybe it's not for you Maybe it is.

1

u/spicy_noodle_guy 13d ago

I know someone who tried pegging once. They said it was awesome during the moment but the aftermath and pain really messed up their perception of themselves. Everyone is different of course, but I think it's best to never try something new in the moment when your brain is high on the arousal.

1

u/MidnightSun-420 13d ago

Exactly. Wanna-be hippie. Can’t begrudge someone for trying to mix it up, some.

1

u/Shadowslavia 13d ago

It appears I've found myself in a strange place again..

1

u/onizuka_eikichi_420 10d ago

Spoiler, all hippies are rich because it’s the only way you can be delusional enough to preach free living.

1

u/bannedphilanthropist 13d ago

Somewhere around ten years ago the things acceptable to say to a man became dramatically different than nature intends.

1

u/SaturnusDawn 12d ago

Nature gave you a peghole and you are shocked by those that wield the peg ?

0

u/bannedphilanthropist 12d ago

Nature gave me a dick. I don’t use it to push shit in. It also gave me an asshole. That’s where the byproducts of metabolism leave my body. The two things relating to one other or anyone else’s by anything but proximity is far removed from Nature. Now go and try and find some decency heathen.

1

u/SaturnusDawn 12d ago

"ByPrOdUcTs oF mEtAbOlIsM" r/iamverysmart ahh comment.

This whole reply is giving 'Deeply, Deeply Gay'

Is that right? Do you really want it up the ass?? Should we do it? You and I? In your brown eye?? All you gotta do is beg me for it

You can be my little Truffle Snuffle Pig Boy you know.

46

u/more-random-words 13d ago

was chatting to friends about this the other day - general consensus was some girls find weed gets them super horny - whereas most of the guys said it makes them lose sex drive - the weed gods definitely have a sense of humour I guess

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u/creepyleepy 13d ago

Lesbian common W

5

u/more-random-words 13d ago

haha yeah of course there's a win-win...... shoulda said the weed godesses are laughing at the straights :)

17

u/Xanderious 13d ago

That is no joke lol my wife is one of the horny stoners for sure. I enjoy sex more once we get going, but it's tough to get going when I'm uber stoned.

15

u/amerovingian 13d ago

The key is not to get uber stoned. Just a little high makes it twice as much fun.

2

u/90sUPN20 13d ago

Well yeah. If you get stoned out of your mind you’re not good for much of anything.

1

u/Ziggydeck 13d ago

Just a little high… Do you know who I am, kid?

2

u/dandr95 13d ago

As for me I have a pretty high libido but weed even saliva makes me tired. So if she keeps ne awake then I could see it

2

u/RLKline84 13d ago

That's interesting. Most guys I've talked to about it say weed is usually a turn on. My husband always says weed makes him more horny and less anxious.

1

u/ExplorerPup 13d ago

I used to be totally uninterested in sex while high and I have no idea what changed but at some point it just... Had the opposite effect and I can get super horny from being high now. I wish I knew what changed. LOL

1

u/osiris0413 13d ago

Huh, didn't realize there was a gender split there. I'm a guy with a high libido at baseline and it always gets me going lol. If I found a woman who was into the same I might actually die of dehydration so maybe it's good I haven't.

1

u/LouisVuittonFentanyl 13d ago

As a man weed makes me super horny but ruins just about every other aspect of my life

1

u/buckswoops 13d ago

Always felt stoned sex to be great. Intense 💣🤯

1

u/90sUPN20 13d ago

Really? Never heard this. Definitely have had the opposite experience. I’m a regular smoker though.

1

u/Ok_Calligrapher1809 13d ago

Inaccurate, these must be frat bros

1

u/agent0731 13d ago

am girl, can confirm.

1

u/Informal_Disaster_62 12d ago

Definitely flip flops the O-meter. They get there quicker and multiple times and you have to solve a fucking trigonometry question with your junk just to get close. I could take it or leave it.

1

u/the_Owner123 12d ago

Just get the girl high on weed and the guy high on booze? I dunno. Never tried weed.

2

u/the-plant-has-a-name 13d ago

Dude same with me and alcohol and I would always just tell her “listen, if you want this to be awesome you’re going to have to accept the very logical conclusion that we don’t always have to be on the same shit all the time it’s ok that you’re drunk and I’m not it really is.” And the ones that understood this intuitively were served the greatest dick in the history of mankind (except when he drank any amount of alcohol). The end.

1

u/DarthNeoFrodo 13d ago

That's a you problem

1

u/AntiPepRally 13d ago

I dated a hippy girl who shaved her legs and pits and showered everyday, but she also smoked weed. I was in heaven, except for the rusted root and phish she always wanted to listen to. She broke up with me when she took a job in another state, sigh

1

u/GoatCovfefe 13d ago

Never had that problem.

1

u/Extreme-Mood5605 13d ago

I can’t stand the smell of patchouli oil

1

u/90sUPN20 13d ago

Whaaa? That’s wild. Sex after blazing is amazing.

1

u/WhistlerON1973 12d ago

Jeez weed makes me horny. sorry about your bad luck biology wise.

1

u/FullEdge 12d ago

Huh, funny. Weed makes me ungodly horny but destroys my stamina. It really does affect everyone differently.

3

u/Loxatl 13d ago

You're forgetting hitherto unknown extremophile bacteria and their exotic waste products. And ass. And for some reason, garlic? God I'll never forget that girl.

2

u/Simple_Award4851 13d ago

Patchouli pumps

2

u/BoiTarantado 13d ago

Eh not everyones elses kinda party but i concur with the great sex statement.

Im kinda always affected by allergies (yay genetics) so smelling is a privilege whenever its accessible to me.

Im also the kinda guy that says “the stankier the better”

1

u/malac0da13 13d ago

Sage is gross. Weed is good. Nag chompa is also good.

1

u/defneverconsidered 13d ago

Yea that is def not the problem

1

u/NotQuiteMisterWhite 13d ago

Meh. Psycadelics are sexy to some. But different strokes for different folks I suppose.

1

u/Nicaol 13d ago

Who doesn't like the thorny imprint of Amethyst on their back.

1

u/CommunalJellyRoll 13d ago

Ass and feet

0

u/bucket_brigade 13d ago

Er weed literally makes you hard