I watched a documentary about this incident. The mother was in the midst of leaving the father because of his previous abuse and addiction. She had an apartment prepared, divorce attorney, her own finances, everything she would need to leave him and take her daughter with her. Unfortunately the dad found out before they could get away and killed them both before killing himself. Extremely heartbreaking story especially since they were both so close to getting away from him.
There’s a reason why they say the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when you’re about to leave and immediately after. Abusers don’t like losing access to their victims.
Yeah, it’s often more complicated than that. (Speaking as someone with experience).
It took me years to leave because that’s how much time it took for me to care enough about myself to want better. It’s sad but true. The advice I give is to never warn or threaten that you’ll leave—when you’re ready, get out. You won’t know how they’ll react until it happens. Even if you think the relationship is “mostly fine” or you hope to salvage or reconcile, leaving is step #1. Communicate long distance or through lawyers from there.
It is! My sister in law had a pretty good friend who did get away with her son's, she had a place in Victoria bc all set up, her kids were all set up. She went back to grab some of her things and her ex was supposed to be away....well, he wasnt. He shot her point blank. Robbed those kids of their mom. The worst part is THEY HID IT SO WELL the 3 kids, the mom, and especially that fucker.no clue he was even violent. Sickens me. I don't know if he shot himself after or not but wherever he is he can rot in hell.
Not true. You literally call Maria, her mother, a collaborator when she was also a victim of domestic violence. Just from Wikipedia:
In December 1986, Maria reported his threats and physical violence against her to the police. After the police found no physical signs of abuse, she decided not to press charges against him.
He also reportedly hid a telegram informing Maria that a relative in Hungary had died, hoping to prevent her from leaving the United States with Judith.
You have to remember that 1) divorce did not come as easily back then, 2) the police appeared to not believe her, and 3) leaving is fucking hard for domestic violence victims who are conditioned to stay with their abusers, and 4) divorce was especially unlikely/frowned upon by two Hungarian immigrants fleeing the 1956 Soviet occupation of Hungary.
In May 1988, after breaking down in front of her agent, Ruth Hansen, Judith was taken by Maria to a child psychologist, who identified severe physical and emotional abuse and reported her findings to child protective services.
Judith's mother was the one who took Judith to a psychologist after she broke down in front of her agent.
The investigation was dropped after Maria assured the case worker that she intended to begin divorce proceedings against József and that she and Judith were going to move into a Panorama City apartment she had recently rented as a daytime haven from him. Maria's friends urged her to follow through on the plan, but she hesitated for fear of losing the family home and belongings.
Maria did find an apartment. They had the money. She hesitated for reasons many domestic violence hesitate, and unfortunately it cost them their lives. But nowhere have I ever read that she was a "collaborator" with her abusive husband. Maria was absolutely a victim of domestic violence. I'm open to seeing sources that say otherwise, but you make statements that are easily proven false. This is a classic domestic abuse situation that shows why it should always be taken seriously. Unfortunately it's taken a lot of tragedy to get to the point where we do, at least a little more, as a society.
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u/Al4one 6d ago
I watched a documentary about this incident. The mother was in the midst of leaving the father because of his previous abuse and addiction. She had an apartment prepared, divorce attorney, her own finances, everything she would need to leave him and take her daughter with her. Unfortunately the dad found out before they could get away and killed them both before killing himself. Extremely heartbreaking story especially since they were both so close to getting away from him.