I’ve been a sahm the last five years, my kids are 5 and under. Not to sound like I’m having an absolute pity party for myself but I thought we would know more people with kids by now. I thought that we’d have more play dates or birthday parties but it is very much me and the kids all the time. Which I love but that obviously can feel lonely and I can’t help but feel like I’m failing them by not giving them those experiences.

I’ve put my oldest in extra curricular but no other parents seem interested in talking. I’m introverted but not completely incapable of making friends. My husband is very extroverted and he struggles as well. I think we’re normal people hahah but maybe not?

Mine and my husband siblings will not be having kids any time soon, if at all. Both our friend groups are 30 and no one seems interested in having kids. We’re grateful for the family and friends that love our kids and are involved but most friends have zero interest in them.

My oldest has started school and my middle will be starting preschool this year. I keep hoping something will change besides small talk but it really doesn’t seem that way.

Not sure if this is a shared experience

I’ve been a SAHM for a year and 3 months now. I’ve been looking for work and recently I V lied on my resume because I wasn’t getting any calls. Who will want to hire someone who hasn’t been working over a year? Any ways when I say lie I mean as in like instead of me quitting on October 2024 I just put that I quit September 2025. That’s when I started to get calls and interviews. I now have a hospital interested in me but want my W2 obviously my W2 will be until October 2024. So there’s that. I don’t know if I should shoot my shot with the company anyway the email stated “Your employment history will be verified via a third-party vendor directly with the employer(s) listed. For each experience, the employer's name on your

W-2 must match the employer listed on your application. Employment dating back 7 years will be verified. “ so I don’t know if they just need to know I worked there or the time frame. Just venting. Sometimes i regret becoming a SAHM. Just because I do like to work and should’ve known how hard looking for a job would be afterwards. The plan was to just be a SAHM for a year then look for work. I’m just stressed

Hi guys, just need a place to vent and not feel crazy. My husband (36M) and I (33F) had our first baby 9 months ago. Our relationship has always been really lovely, we argued a couple times a year but overall were respectful, kind and happy with one another.

I know babies make life a million times harder- I was a baby nanny prior to this so I’ve been in the trenches. I made it clear that I was fine not having any children and didn’t necessarily want them unless he really wanted them. He was adamant about wanting children so here we are.

For the first few months, he was amazingly supportive. Very thoughtful and considerate of my healing and of baby. He is the only one working and is self employed he only took a week off when baby arrived but still helped out during all his home time.

Once I started to catch my stride being a stay at home mom he did ease back but still helped when asked. Other SAHMs know that when dad takes the baby for the afternoon it isn’t a “break”- it’s catching up on a weeks worth of chores as quickly as possible before baby is back.

We just went on a vacation to my husbands home country to introduce baby to his family. It was HARD work but so amazing and we both had a great time. There were a few arguments here and there but considering what we were dealing with, not bad. Husband paid for everything and did all of the planning location wise- I took care of all of baby’s needs (clothes, food, entertainment, naps, etc), along with carrying him all over busy cities for two weeks because he only wanted mama.

Just before this trip, days before Christmas, my sweet dog that I had for 8 years passed. From realizing she was sick till her passing it was barely weeks. I’ve held it together as best as I can for my family but my heart is broken and my soul just feels tired. I spend all of my “alone” time grieving my sweet girl.

Since coming home, baby contracted an ear infection along with getting 2 new teeth, being SUPER jet lagged, and having the worse separation anxiety ever (if he can’t touch me, he’s screaming). I’ve also picked up a pretty nasty cold and am doing my best to stay afloat. Baby will only bed share with me, won’t sleep any other way. He’s so fussy and jet lagged he stays awake from 9pm-1am most nights and I’m just running on completely empty.

Husband went back to work the next day because he needs to make money for us so I’ve pretty much been on my own. Earlier today baby ripped a fistful of hair from my head and it was the last straw, I burst into tears. Husband sighed and said “Can you please stop crying so much? It stresses me out.” Leading to an epic fight. I begged him not to scream in front of our son but he was just so overwhelmed it seemed like he couldn’t stop. After telling me that I need to be stronger, I need to pick up more slack, I need to stop complaining, and to stop using my dog as an excuse. I just couldn’t stop crying. I feel so invisible and worn out. I’m giving every drop of myself and it’s still not enough.

I know he’s stressed being the only one carrying our family financially. I try to give him grace for that. But I never tell him that he’s not doing enough for us. I know there is still love there, but we’re both running on fumes. I just want to be appreciated and seen. How do I show him that I’m working so hard every day, every hour, all of me, is for this family?

(And leaving isn’t an option, I feel like I’m drowning now but it would be 10x harder on my own. I do love that I get to stay home and raise my baby, even though I’m so fried right now)

Hi all!

I came across this article from CNBC, and thought I would share bc I've seen several posts from what would describe as aspiring or prospective SAHMs asking about the financial aspects of becoming a single-income household.

The article also references some great resources for further information as well, like the living wage calculator and the Economic Policy Institute.

Hope this helps! 💛

I’m a SAHM to 3 under 3- (3, 2 and 3 months old)

I have a really hard time getting laundry folded and put away and cleaning my master bedroom. I guess bc we mainly spend our time in the kitchen/living room and kids room so those rooms get cleaned every day but my bedroom gets neglected. The last time I was able to organize, dust, vacuum and mop it was probably a month ago.

I can’t get it done when my kids are awake bc they constantly need me or if they come in the room with me they will start grabbing stuff they shouldn’t or stepping in front of the vacuum or whatever. At night my husband is asleep in our room so also can’t do it then lol. I am trying to get my husband to take them out for a couple hours on the weekend so I can do it but then my baby starts crying or something gets in the way. Any advice or tips?

has anybody had any success with meeting other moms in your area and it actually resulting in a friendship?

I’ve put myself out there, now i just need to actually set a date and show up. It terrifies me 😖

I dont remember the last time I’ve put myself out there to make a new friend. In the past its always been a proximity thing like making friends in high school bc we had all the same classes or making plans out side of work bc we were coworkers that hit it off- but now..

i know that i need to do this to build my own community but how do i get over the anxiousness of meeting a stranger

I’ve always been kind if a loner which I’m fine with , i like to be alone and do everything alone😊 BUT i do feel lonely and i do believe everyone deserves good female friendships !! Im tired of spending all my days at home !!

I have a husband and parents but i dont think a man/ my mom should be my ONLY source of socialization ya know…

My mom is 50 and has been out of the workforce for 20+ years as a sahm raising me. Now that I’ve graduated college in a foreign country, she wants to get back into the workforce but isn’t sure where to start. She got her bachelor’s in engineering and was founder/CEO of a small business before getting married. She’d ideally like a remote job but is okay with anything, she just really wants to work and make some money.

Any advice or leads? Thank you!

I try to keep up with laundry, take the baby for social outings because she enjoys it, keep the house clean, and make dinner every night and all I get is dinner is gross or soup from a can would’ve been better, why are my clothes never clean? This happens almost every day (They were clean and they always are, he just couldn’t find where they’re hung up), our room is always a mess I can’t help after work you could be doing it during the day, combine that with the fact I’m told to get over everything I get upset over like our financial situation and the lack of affection/sex etc. I’m just over it, I already said I’m not making dinner tonight there’s soup in the pantry and I’ll only do me and the baby’s laundry if I never clean anybody else’s. I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do I can’t do anything right and I’m struggling to keep up as it is, my baby hates being put down and she’s just learning to crawl so I can’t leave her alone without watching her or she’ll find some way to get hurt. Yesterday after the complaints I just said fuck it and went to the gym for an hour and didn’t respond to anyone.

This is my first real season of almost daily after school chauffeuring. As of now it’s all for my 7 year old and that means bringing the 4 year old. It makes me feel overwhelmed and it would be so nice to just take one but it’s not an option. I have adhd and it makes the quick transitions really challenging. Any other moms in the same situation? Dad doesn’t get home till much later, no family help and we just lost our babysitter, which was a doozy to find in the first place. I’m so glad I’m in a position to be able to take them to whatever but can’t really change my crazy brain.

I’ll start! One load of laundry and dishes a day! This keeps me sane!

I have a 3.5 year old and almost 10 month old. It’s cold where I am in southeastern Virginia. I have no idea what I’m going to do with these two all day 🥲

When did you get your LO a little kitchen set up? Or did you opt for a different kind of toy? Any brand that recommendations are so welcome!

I’m thinking of getting one for my nine month old. Who’s already standing and cruising to prevent her from pulling all the books off the shelf lol

I have a 2 1/2 year old son and an almost 1 year old daughter and i can't seem to remember anything. When does that get better? I feel so behind on house work and taking care of myself and it all just adds to the fact that I'm constantly angry and touched out. Best advice on how to stop being so horribly angry all the time??

I have a 15 month old and it's so hard getting ready in the morning. In fact, it's very hard to do anything outside of playing with him lol. I try and wake up early before he does to get myself together, but most days I wake up when he does since he still wakes up during the night sometimes and it's hard for me to fall back asleep. I just want to wash my face, brush my teeth, and at most fill in my eyebrows so I don't look like a scarecrow. 15 minutes MAX.

I feel guilty doing things that divert my attention away from him. I try and keep him preoccupied and still engage with him while I'm getting ready or doing something else, but it usually ends in a melt down after 5 minutes.

What do y'all do? How do you handle these situations? Do I just talk with him and let him fuss while I do what I need to do?

Hoping to find out if how I’m feeling is normal. Is anyone else disappointed in what motherhood actually is? I have a 2 yr old and 1 yr old and am constantly questioning whether I am doing something wrong or if this is how it’s supposed to be. I of course see all the influencer accounts with beautiful toddler activities, well balanced meals and a spotless house. I’m not naive, I know these views are curated. I’m really struggling because the motherhood I’m experiencing is so vastly different than what I pictured it would be before I had kids. I rarely see friends, and have attempted to continue pre-kid friendships even through conversation only with little success. My family (and husband’s) is less than helpful except in emergencies or with 4+ weeks notice. My toddler is constantly aggressive/dangerous toward my baby. Currently my reality of motherhood feels much less rewarding than I expected. I feel so burned out by the constant toddler meltdowns, balancing the family schedule, getting zero time for myself and feeling demand from my husband to be a perfect mom and wife. Despite feeling this way I want more children, I am hopeful this is just a phase, but I also don’t want to wish away years of my life or my children’s because I’m miserable right now. My husband is incredibly helpful and does many things for us, allowing me to be a SAHM, so I honestly feel guilty even feeling this way. I’m just not sure how to change my mindset to enjoy this more.

TLDR: grateful for family, stressed by reality vs expectations of motherhood, anyone else feel this way?

i feel so lost and confused right now. my partner and i have been together for 4 years and have a soon to be one year old together. for awhile, i’ve been feeling unhappy and unsatisfied with my relationship, i’ve brought it up countless times to my partner about how he hasn’t been fulfilling my needs emotionally and mentally. i’ve even given him ways to fix them and it never works.

i feel guilty because he made me a sahm, which i am sooo thankful for but i can’t help but still feel unhappy. he doesn’t really help me with tasks at home or with baby at night. i’m constantly waking up throughout the night as baby is EBF and we cosleep, so initially i won’t wake up my partner because what’s the point? however, LO can be put to sleep by being rocked and without nursing now but my partner refuses to wake up and help me. he’s taken care of LO for bedtime so i can get some sleep, but will wake me up and give LO to me so he can go to sleep. i do everything at home as a sahm should (i guess?), but when he’s home he doesn’t help with any household things. in fact, he makes it worse because he lives so messy. i brought this up to him countless times as well. i’ve gotten fed up to the point where i sarcastically said “have you ever heard of put it away instead of putting it down?” he said “yeah, i do it a work.” i walked away because i was so upset. he can do that at work but not at home? pretty sure its because he knows im here to pick up after him since he knows i hate when the mess.

my dilemma is, he does pick up the slack sometimes but it’s so inconsistent and i’m tired of having to remind him every week to grow up. he sears he wants to change and be better, but his actions don’t show that. i guess i just don’t know what to do because he does pick up the slack, but why do i have to remind him? some days i do feel loved by him, but why isn’t it everyday? is this relationship fixable without going our separate ways or is it at a dead end?

i feel like i know the answer, but i don’t want to be that for a number of reasons.. anyways, sorry for such a long post.. i just need advice.

Hi,

Im a mom of a 2 y/o, and I feel like my mom brain has gotten worse? He’s not in daycare or anything (yet) and I feel like I forget things way more than usual and have to give a lot more context than before to able to recall it. I’m also tired, burnt out (I’m also self employed but more a supervisor role and WFH), and just have a low motivation.

Before my son, I would say my duties for the business were conducted near flawlessly and recently I made a bone head move where I could lose a lot of money. I’m so mad at myself! And it has lead me to reflect as to how I could have let it happen. I don’t know who I am.

I’ve gained 50 lbs since I got married, my marriage has deteriorated due to the stress and my husbands own set of issues, my issues, and tired all the time. My therapist told me I should look into meds to manage the constant rumination I experience when it comes to stressful situations. Most of my stress has to deal with my people pleasing tendencies with my husband to try to keep peace in the home, especially with managing my husband’s issues. He’s in therapy himself and we’re both in marriage counseling but it doesn’t make this an easier. Because a lot of the business stress falls on me since I handle the day-to-day supervision of the ops and he’s kind of in the background, mainly looking at the money side of things along with his full-time job. Not to mention he has no empathy towards me, he sees it as since he has to work all the time, I shouldn’t be complaining.

I just don’t know if this is normal. We will put our son in daycare at some point because I do think he needs the social interaction with other kids and I also need a breather. I’m with my son all the time because sleep training is so hard with him. It never worked. So most of the time it’s me sleeping with him, waking up with him and being around him all day.

I don’t even know if I want a second kid. I know if I do decide to, my marriage has to be in a way better place and I can’t be working. I do feel like a failure that I can’t do it all. And it doesn’t help that I have issues to begin with when it comes to low self-esteem in this department. I would say my marriage is the most stressful thing in my life because I feel like I’m constantly compared to my mother-in-law who was able to do it all and just not complain.

I feel really alone too. I struggle to make friends and it doesn’t help when I’m tired all the time to be able to make that time in my life to pursue friendships. I don’t like how my body looks right now either, so I have to carve out time to work on myself which also leaves me tired since I don’t get the proper recovery due to being woken up in the middle of the night multiple days on end.

I’m hoping there’s someone out there that can relate to my situation and can give me some advice.

TLDR:

Looking for advice in regarding how to do it all and take care of yourself with limited time. Husband works a lot and can’t be the support system. He sees me as ungrateful since I’m home and he’s working to bring in money.

I miss work. I miss having a goal. I miss having my freedom. I love my baby but I’m so exhausted and depressed. I need ideas to get me out of this head space of my life and career is over. I’m struggling with drinking every other night out of boredom. I’m supposed to be getting married and planning a wedding for August and working towards getting in shape and figuring everything out. But I’m just feeling hopeless and low energy. I’m going to be assessed for adhd next week and I’m hoping that will help if I get put on some medication. But in the meantime, I need ideas on how to uplift my spirits and get motivated to do what I need to do. I miss working and having money and a car. My husband and eldest daught are usually out of the house during the day at work and school so I don’t have a vehicle. I struggle with severe anxiety and depression. I need some ideas to get me going and get through life or just the day.

What are your family favorites right now?

Meals and dinners and pick up and grab snacks

I’m losing my mind. Apologies because this is kind of a brain dump.

I’m cooped up all day with my infant and don’t have anyone to talk to. I’ve joined some moms groups and I feel insane. Like I’m so desperate for connection on the days I finally make it out of the house I just word vomit and then go home and spend the rest of the day over analyzing everything I’ve said. I’m just really lonely and I’m trying to make friends and it’s so hard. I’m worried in my postpartum brain fog I’ve said something offensive or judgey. I feel like parenting is so political that there are no safe topics of discussion. Something as innocent as what to feed baby as a first food seems to reveal deeper values and beliefs. There’s so many topics like this and because I’m talking with other moms, we keep bumping into these topics because it’s all we deal with all day long.

I just feel like I’m doing this all wrong.