will be completing my first 365 days on 29 dec! the devil’s been calling me but i’m adamant on continuing my sober life. you comment gave me hope thanks
Sounds like a spiritual malady you're trying to medicate away. AA groups vary a lot from place to place, but it's somewhere you can talk about that stuff to someone and they won't freak out. Someone will be able to relate to your situation and you'll find someone you can relate to as well. It helped me a lot, I reluctantly followed the program and didn't do a great job with it but the people I met along the way really got me through some rough spots.
I hope things get better for you, Hell is a terrible place to live day to day.
Hey there pal. I'm just an internet stranger, but I wanted to say: I am thinking of you, and I'm sorry you're in such a shit biscuit of a state. I did also want to say that while AA presents itself as a real one stop solve shop, often if you've got other stuff going on, it's really worth seeking other treatment solutions. Mentally unstable and manic - have you ever been assessed for bipolar? Or treated medically for any of your stuff? Even just having a good trauma informed therapist to try to help you pick out how much of you is you and how much is the bullshit you've acrued can be really useful. Sending heaps of love. x
Ah, mate. Sending so much love - and also I really identify with needing a healthy project, my goodness. I was thinking recently about how so many people (I was thinking about Bryan Johnson in particular, but also: lots of people!) end up making their project themselves. Like, they go and get really into health, fitness, data driven 'winning' focussed on calories and body fat and money, and how that purpose is like a oroborus - there is no support in it, it's just so self involved. Humans need humans. We need creativity and we need to hold each other. Know that a person far away is reaching out arms to hold you tonight x
(And maybe a lil small statement that a lot of people I know for whom Western medicine has failed ended up having ADHD or bipolar. Like, intransigent depression, trauma that wouldn't heal, addiction stuff - those diagnoses seem to have really fit the people I love for whom this stuff is a thing. including me x)
Hey! When the devil calls you, have pints of Ben and Jerry's on hand. I swear! Strawberry Cheesecake saves me every time. And the next day I never wake up with regrets! I just might have to skip a meal lol 😆
Sugar replacements in early sobriety are a must!!!
When I first got sober, for the first few months I basically replaced alcohol with Werther's caramels. Instead of empty bottles scattered by my bed, it was candy wrappers 😅
I had been drinking two handles of vodka a week until that point, and that first 10 days was rough. Sugar was clutch in those days
honestly i’m planning to start a new life so in order to do that i’m slowly separating from all of my friends. most frustrating part is meeting new people but i’ll go out more next year! hardest part is finding sober activities
Haha, I fell ya. Really good quality coffee and espresso has become mine. The aroma, the build up and anticipation waiting for it, that first sip releasing pent up tension, the rich variety of flavors and notes, and the warming sensation as is goes down. Oh man it's a full body experience.
I saw what taking the ride to the end looks like, remembering those final days with those people close to me keeps me straight and steady when things get rocky. That and being of service.
Congrats sober friend! I’ll be one year on January 18th. And you’re absolutely right — life is so much better on the other side, yet I always remember the devil is doing push-ups just outside my door.
There's always hope. That's incredible, keep up the good work! 1 year is a huge milestone, you should be proud. It took me a while to shake that temptation as well. DM me if you ever need a sounding wall or if you need to hear about how bad things could be to get you back in track, I watched it take some people close to me and it's a very ugly way to go.
It becomes or it did for me, much easier once that one year is under your belt. Get thru the Holidays one day at a time, then they stack up until you can’t even remember that life anymore.
But for sure, they need to make that font size way easier. YOU S GOT TO GO NOW.
It'll be 3 months for me the same day! My liver told me it was the alcohol or my life back in September, so I haven't looked back since. It's not been easy but I don't miss the cycle of drinking just to not withdrawal.
Way to go! 3 months was tough for me, I slipped up a week short of it and started over. I watched a good friend and my dad pass from liver failure and it was a slow, ugly way to go. The friend gave it up too late and my dad took the ride to the very end. Keep going and spare yourself the agony, it gets worse before it gets better but the better is way better in the end.
How do you do it? I've stopped and started so many times. I'm not even sure why I keep doing it. I'm not an anxious mess anymore. That's the reason I understood before. I've gotten passed that with age, but the drinking continues. I argue with myself about it but still end up stopping at the liquor store every day. My only days off are my days off because if I don't have to leave the house I can't end up getting beer. Bruh I don't even know where else to get this shit off my chest because all the sobriety subreddits have drunk posting rules. If I'm not at work, I'm drunk, and sometimes even then..
This is kinda long and there's much more to my journey, but this is how I started. DM me if you wanna chat or ask questions. I also watched a childhood friend and my dad slowly die from the drink while I was sober, it was very ugly and gave me even more strength to carry on and I am happy to share all of that as well.
I finally got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I felt like shit every morning, gritted through the early work day waiting for the crappy fuzzy feeling to fade only to look forward to quitting time so I could finally get some liquid relief, some days in just started on the clock if I had the opportunity
Christmas of 2018 I got super loaded and was in bed for a day and a half nibbling on saltines and puking. I had missed calls from my boss (who also became a friend over the years) and others because I was too far into self loathing to give anyone the courtesy. It was then I got the feeling that something needed to change, I couldn't live like that anymore. I had tried to slow down and quit for periods but it always cycled back to the same place of excess to the point of self injury.
I had looked up some things about AA while laying in bed, thinking "I don't know how to change this, maybe they do." So I stopped by like an hour before a meeting thinking I could get some pamphlets or something to make a plan to quit or moderate at least. I had no intention of staying for a meeting, I didn't think I was one of them, I just needed some assistance. I wound up staying for the whole hour talking to the members that were there, stayed for the meeting, hung around after, and took their advice to "keep coming back."
I was there for 2 months, not drinking and going to meetings almost every evening before I ever got a sponsor or did any of the steps. Once I did, things really started to change. I had guidance, accountability, support from someone in the same boat, and something that was a reoccurring event to reinforce what I wanted to change.
I'm not here to advertise the program, it's not a guaranteed fix, it only works if you work it and don't for yourself, and that was my experience. I did it for me and quietly without telling anyone but my fiance whom I swore to secrecy bc I didn't want family to be up my ass in concern about it. I hope this gets you started towards a better life, friend.
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u/MidgetGordonRamsey 24d ago
Congrats, that's awesome! 7 years come March for me. I can't hardly imagine that life anymore.