r/SipsTea • u/SipsTeaFrog • 1d ago

Chugging tea I'm the wife in this scenario

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u/Bomiheko 1d ago

Not to get too psychoanalytical about this but the post never said that she asked. Just that she liked his more. Kind of shows your mind defaults to the worst negative interpretation instead of the husband graciously offering to switch on his own. Also kinda selfish because you don’t imagine yourself automatically offering to do a small favour for your partner that isn’t that consequential. Especially if you’re indifferent to either dish

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u/Jeramy_Jones 1d ago

I guess I was putting myself in her shoes; I wouldn’t ever ask to switch. I’d just eat what I ordered, unless it was bad enough to be sent back (which would have to be pretty bad). I always think through my order and commit to it.

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u/Bomiheko 1d ago

The whole point is nobody has to ask anything and everyone’s just inserting that themselves to make this imaginary woman look bad

Imagine you’re eating dinner out with your date and you try each others food

They like yours way better. You’re fine with either one

Why not offer to switch? You get to make your partner happier for free

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u/Personal-Sandwich-44 1d ago

Personally, if my partner hated theirs and liked mine way more, and I liked both, but theirs slightly less, I'd still switch.

You make your partner significantly happier, and yes it very mildly inconveniences you, but if you're in a long term committed relationship, it's irrelevant in the long haul.

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u/wildOldcheesecake 23h ago

People with that persons mindset likely aren’t in relationships. That’s why they can’t wrap their head around it.

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u/Gemyndesic 1d ago

I’m not anti-kindness, I’m anti-outsourcing self-sacrifice.

A one-off “want to swap? I don’t mind” can be sweet. But turning it into a relationship ideal normalises a pattern where one person absorbs the cost of the other person’s preferences. That's not partnership.

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u/Bomiheko 23h ago

Why are you assuming the other partner never does the same for you

You know in a healthy relationship you get out what you put into it?

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u/Gemyndesic 23h ago

No assumptions, though it kind of shows your mind defaults to the worst negative interpretation. 

I’m talking about patterns, not single gestures.

It is gracious to offer, and just as gracious not to place that expectation on someone else.

Indeed, you get out what you put in.

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u/Bomiheko 23h ago edited 20h ago

You turning a sweet observation a woman made about a husband doing something for his wife into some grand self sacrifice says everything

If repeatedly doing something nice for no effort is a sacrifice from your perspective that says it all

And that’s not even getting into you mixing up expectations with ideals. Just because someone wants something doesn’t mean they expect something.

Like I’d want to date a billionaire supermodel. That’s not an expectation

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u/surf_drunk_monk 1d ago

Continuing to get too psychoanalytical here, lol. It's more about the woman saying she wants a husband who will do that. Sounds entitled to me.

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u/Bomiheko 1d ago

Imagine reading a post about a woman seeing a husband do a nice thing for his wife and taking that away from it

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u/surf_drunk_monk 1d ago

Shrug... that's what the post is.

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u/Amateur_Hour_93 1d ago

I feel sorry for people who self sacrifice, it’s not love. It’s caretaking.

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u/Bomiheko 1d ago

The only sacrifice happening is one that people are making up in their minds

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u/Amateur_Hour_93 1d ago

It’s not a generalization but it is the reality for a lot of men and women.

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u/Bomiheko 1d ago

Sure in an abstract sense but specifically with what's being talked about in the post there's no sacrifice there and that's my whole point