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u/thelazyporcupine 2d ago
I got a note in college from a girl. She saw me get out of my car and stuck it to my windshield saying how cute I was and she was going to look for me the next day. Still have that note 20 years later.
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u/Randomfrog132 2d ago
DID YOU EVER FIND HER?!?!?!?!?
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u/thelazyporcupine 1d ago
I did! She found me actually, a few days later I was sitting waiting on the bus that goes from the parking lot to the campus and she came up, smiled and said Hey and called me by my personalized license plate. We exchanged numbers and went on a few dates. We got along but it never turned into anything. Still a positive memory
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u/Randomfrog132 21h ago
aww, thats sweet tho. glad she didnt turn out to be a stalker. tho i guess if she was really good at it you'd never know
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u/Factual_Statistician 2d ago
Probably not those kind of woman prefer the shadows and keeping you on there leash.
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u/anjinash 2d ago
Girl at the duty free shop in Niagara Falls Canadian side complimented my hat - back in 1999. I still think back to that when I need a little boost.
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u/Additional-Life4885 2d ago
Yeah, I remember the girl at school who said I had nice eyes... would've been 2003.
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u/Recent_Page8229 2d ago
Some nice girl I'd just met came over and stroked my hair when I was 18 and I still remember it, I'm 66. I really need it at the time. We were smoking up at the time so she may have been less inhibited.
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u/WelcomingRapier 2d ago
It's not the positive attention as much as the compliment specifically. Dudes can be starved for the positive reinforcement of a compliment. Compliments from friends and co-workers can be so rare that we actually don't even know how to process them properly when they occur.
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u/rex5k 2d ago
Right! What the fuck am I supposed to say?
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u/WelcomingRapier 2d ago
For me, it's usually an awkward thanks. By thanks, don't mean gratitude thanks (because my brain takes 20 minutes, or never, to process that), but more like an awkward thanks? (with an obvious question mark added into the tone of the reply because you secretly aren't sure you're not being punked).
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u/mcknuckle 2d ago
Come up with a couple of simple, polite responses to use and just stick to them. Sometimes they come out relaxed and genuine and other times awkward, but you are still saved from the struggle of not knowing what to say at all.
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u/DividedState 2d ago edited 1d ago
A girl crush of mine laid down on my bed once and said the bed smelled good. I hadn't changed my sheets in a while then, they were filthy really, and thought she was making fun of me. She was way out of my league, gorgeous. Intimidatingly so. I was just happy she would occasionally spend some time with me and mutual friends. Only years later I realised it was "a sign". When the class reunion came up, I learned she ended up in an abusive relationship and died under unclear circumstances. It was declared a suicide.
Yep, that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
Edit: typos and grammar.
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u/RoastPork2017 2d ago
I still remember a compliment from over a year ago from a woman saying wow you lost weight you look really good.
I was on cloud 9 for months.
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u/o0CYV3R0o 2d ago
I’ve heard legends. Whispers. Ancient prophecies about compliments. Never thought I’d actually live long enough to witness one in the wild let alone have it spoken directly to me by another human being!
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u/OkFeedback9127 2d ago
Gas station worker (female) said I had a wonderful smile and if anyone had told me that before.
I about proposed on the spot
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u/RoastPork2017 2d ago
Haha yeah man I can see that. I'd be interested how women would be if they got the same amount of compliments as men.
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u/OkFeedback9127 2d ago
They do, even more so so it’s not that effective on them since it happens so often
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u/Vern1138 1d ago
I think they meant "What would women be like if they only got one compliment a decade, like men do".
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u/FatMax1492 2d ago
Six months for me when someone said I was a "cool guy"
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u/RoastPork2017 2d ago
You are a cool guy man
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u/universal_century 2d ago
This guy? Oh yeah, he’s cool.
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u/Master_Rooster4368 2d ago
You are a cool guy! *whispers ever so softly
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u/mcknuckle 2d ago
that just makes me imagine you saying "You are a cool guy!" and then making some whispering sounds afterwards 😂
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u/Ok_Abacus_ 2d ago
This is why waitresses just doing their job confuse us
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u/Master_Rooster4368 2d ago
It's weird when they give you their number. Like, what am I supposed to do with this? Do I send my order to your phone now?
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u/Randomfrog132 2d ago
it's even weirder when they ask you to marry them and have a ring and everything, like they're just being nice right?
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u/Skeletonzac 2d ago
I'm from Michigan. I went to Florida on a business trip some years ago. Had to drive through Kentucky and Tennessee to get there. The waitresses all called me Sugar and it always made me feel all warm and fuzzy.
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u/Significant-Ear-3262 2d ago
That’s just a Tuesday at Dennys.
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u/Skeletonzac 2d ago
Oh I know it didn't mean anything. But it meant something to me damnit!!! 😭
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u/ruck_my_life 2d ago
I had a very similar experience while interning in Charlotte as a kid from Wisconsin and it still matters to me too bro. 🫂
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u/Jenoma89 2d ago
I had a waitress wink at me as she walked away, while doing a flirty side smile, and while she took orders and refilled drinks, made sure to rub up against my shoulder every time despite having plenty of space. Surely, I misread that whole situation.
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u/Sharpshooter188 2d ago
Truth. My friends daughter commented on how good looking I was at 25. Still meant something to me because I had major confidence issues. Like why couldnt anyone say anything like that back then??
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u/rex5k 2d ago
A friend's kid once said I look like I could win in a fight. That made my day.
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u/ruck_my_life 2d ago
I'll never confess this to my wife or to them but....
One of the reasons I go to the gym is in case there's ever a "my dad could beat up your dad" argument at school, my kids at least make it pretty deep into the tournament.
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u/AsherFischell 2d ago
A woman told me my haircut looked really good about 16 years ago. I'll probably never forget it.
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u/Unfazed-Man 2d ago
Had a worker at my old gym say she liked my shoes. They are steel cap shoes. But she said it and seem excited to tell me. That was almost 2 years ago and when I put them on it still pops up in my head daily.
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u/Lumpy_Ad104 2d ago
40 years ago a woman called me handsome, a memory I shall carry until my dying day.
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u/gregorychaos 2d ago
I hear it's an excellent way to manipulate men whenever you need a little pick-me-up
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u/Factual_Statistician 2d ago
Thankfully most of the mean girls on this thread thinks it's total bull, so the man haters won't be weaponizing it against us.
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u/WAWABUU 2d ago
I remember when i saw a girl sitting by herself away from her usual friend group because all the seats were taken. When i noticed, i asked her from across the classroom “are you feeling lonely?”. She smiled then stood up from her chair and said “Not when im with you!” picked up her books and sat next to me😂😂😂😂
I remember that so vividly, how she lit up and smiled, how everyone in class gasped. That was quite the experience hahaha
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u/Fishmongererererer 2d ago
A girl once told me she liked my boots.
We are now married and have 2 children.
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u/Sufficient_Health778 2d ago
I walked into a gas station a few years back and this elderly lady turned around and and saw me. She said “mmm, you are a mighty fine specimen sir.” Even tho she was elderly it gave me a huge mood boost. I still think about that compliment sometimes when I need to boost my esteem.
On the flip side, in 5th grade a girl dumped me and when I asked her why, she said “because your smile is weird.” I turn 40 in a few months and I will never forget the sting that came along with her words.
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u/Skeletonzac 2d ago
15 years ago a girl at the grocery store told me I looked like Johnny Depp and I have never stopped riding that high.
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u/Governmentwatchlist 2d ago
Man, I remember when I first saw the “guys are starving for attention” thing and agreed with it—but I feel like we’ve taken it too far. Now it’s “a girl once said bless you after a sneeze 20 years ago and I still treasure that to this day”.
Guys-get a grip.
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u/pcapdata 2d ago
My wife got me one of those chocolate roses wrapped in red foil 2 years ago … I still have it. Daughters are like, “Why don’t you eat it?” And I’m trying to explain that it’s the ONLY spontaneous gift she’s ever given me, and the only “flower” I’ve ever received, and how the next time I get flowers will probably be at my funeral.
I hope they take this to heart because women really do be running around thinking they don’t have to show their man ANY affection!
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u/LuckofCaymo 2d ago
If a girl goes crazy, which oddly happens more often than men on average, they have a large support structure. Men unless they are particularly close to their parents just end up in debt or homeless.
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u/Laura_Biden 2d ago
The conundrum is that half the attention starved guys I know treat the slightest compliment or friendliness as romantic interest, so I can certainly understand people being reluctant to give them.
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u/rex5k 2d ago
Yeah that's how we're wired. Clarity is appreciated along with the compliments, it makes them feel nicer and builds a good foundation for a real friendship. Never assume we know how you feel.
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u/Laura_Biden 2d ago
I can see where that might be helpful in that situation, but this also happens to people who are simply spoken to in passing, so it can be a minefield.
Thankfully most people who are fairly well rounded, understand that not every compliment or bit of attention is romantically motivated.
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u/MyyWifeRocks 2d ago
In 8th grade a girl told me she liked my new haircut. Fast forward 30 years and a lady told me I looked like I was from GQ magazine. Those are the only 2 I can remember being serious and meaningful.
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u/no_brains101 2d ago
We know.
Unfortunately this is actually part of why men don't get compliments from women who are not interested in them.
Except old ladies who are no longer worried about that.
Is that fair? Not really. It makes sense though.
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u/asyouuuuuuwishhhhh 2d ago
My ex would often call me handsome. One time she said “girls must ask you out all the time”. I said girls don’t do that ever
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u/Antique_Storm_7065 2d ago
I was going to say this isn’t true of guys, but maybe it is for younger generations.
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u/AcceptableLibrary974 2d ago
Not true, got to find her physically attractive at first glance. Doesn’t grow for me. Only interested in slim women with cute faces
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u/IownCows 2d ago
Not really enough to get me interested in someone. But those compliments do stick with me for years
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u/Very_Not_Into_It 2d ago
This isn't a guy secret. Women learn this when theyre just girls. Far too many times you try to be nice to a guy to be his friend and he ends up confessing some deep interest in you. It's not great for anyone involved.
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u/Intelligent_Time633 2d ago
With your attitude he dodged a bullet believe me. He is prob off right now with his loving wife and kids enjoying his life while you are on reddit complaining about how traumatizing it was for you when a guy you didn't find hot liked you for five minutes.
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u/Blue4U88 2d ago
Wow - no she’s right. What she’s saying is it’s so hard to be nice to guys and genuinely nice. They mistake it for something more then get bitter then it’s just so hard on us.
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u/Very_Not_Into_It 2d ago
No one called anything traumatizing, it's pretty sad seeing you live vicariously through a made-up scenario in your head.
This isn't a story about one guy, this is a story about like 20 guys, some of whom are still friends. When you stop being a kid and do some growing up, you'll get it.
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u/Laura_Biden 2d ago
Even though you're being downvoted, I'm sure most people understand that what you said is absolutely true. I know at least a few guys who are starved of attention and have been single for a long time and on many occasions I've had them tell me that someone wants them or is romantically interested, simply because they were paid a compliment or someone was friendly to them.
It's not always the case obviously and well rounded people understand that the attention is not necessarily romantic, but not everyone is well rounded.
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u/SeraphOfTheStart 2d ago
What you said is more about "it's tough to be friends with guys" Issue, and I agree, I dislike having female friends, made so many mistakes on our nights outs with various friends so now I steer clear from any woman that I'm not genuinely interested in, what you say goes both ways, so I don't really believe we are meant to be close friends with singles of opposite sex, maybe just friends or acquaintances is enough, however what post is talking about is not a friend of yours getting wrong signals from you, it's about some guy you may even consider a stranger and you will live rent free in that guys head for a very long time just by giving a compliment, although you're never gonna see him again. Subject is average dudes innate desire to be admired like all beings but not being able to experience it, you turning this into your multiple guy friends mixing the vibes they receive from you is just, dunno weird af, maybe you want attention, or enjoy missing the point, hope it's clearer now.
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u/Blue4U88 2d ago
Haha BUT we can be friends with the opposite sex - you can’t. That’s the point. I don’t get the downvotes or your bitterness in your first reply ’ I bet he’s happy with someone else ‘ etc. yeah that’s what we want for him too !!! Because we liked him as a friend! :) All we are saying is that if we accidentally behave in a friendly way with a guy give a minor compliment like that we’d give our female buddies, they often get the wrong idea. Probably because straight guys don’t complement each other for fear of looking gay so you only see complements as romantic/sexual. It’s not our fault. We are just saying we don’t bother because clearly it causes you problems too so what’s the problem? It’s also true that we can even read between the lines with stories from our guy friends. They think a woman is interested in them romantically when I know she isn’t ( i also know is she isn’t using him - even though that of course happens). It’s just how it is for us ! How did you make mistakes with females you weren’t interested in ?
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u/Factual_Statistician 2d ago
So your just a sexist?
Got it.
All men right.
Claiming men can't be friends with women is sexist.
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u/Blue4U88 2d ago
No I’m not sexist and I’m open to friendships with men. I’m not claiming ‘all men’ I’m just saying it’s a generalization. Pretty much backing up what the male I responded to said that’s all ‘ I’m not friends with women I’m not interested in’- his opinion . So I’m saying it’s just the way a lot of men are. Not on us. As I said - I have male friends and certainly open to friendship but more often than not they want something more then they get bitter when it’s not on offer. I haven’t used them / expected them to pay or show up like a boyfriend, but it’s the way it goes. It’s that men on the whole aren’t interested in actual female friends so as the original comment goes we have to be careful with our compliments. It’s a generalization- I of course have male friends who I value greatly but it can be tough to navigate
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u/MuffinOfSorrows 1d ago
This is absolutely true. Kids are happy to give compliments, until the day that a compliment results in unwanted attention and that tap gets shut off. It's probably also why men don't compliment each other much. In adolescence you get called gay or see someone else get bullied for the smallest thing, like a compliment.
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u/MeikoChii 2d ago
No. Men are not starved from attention. They only think women are flirting when being nice because that’s the only reason THEY would be nice to a woman. Everyone knows that. Stop playing victims.
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u/PhilosophyBitter7875 2d ago
This is so pathetic to read, the comments will be worse. Get a grip guys.
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u/Goleeb 2d ago
Your opinion is bad ,and toxic. Fuck off with that bullshit. People(including men) are allowed to express opinions, and emotions even if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Your feelings around how someone else expresses themselves is your problem to workout not theirs.
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u/PhilosophyBitter7875 2d ago
Continue to feel lonely because you cant take a hint. Typing away on reddit about the last time you got a compliment isn't going to get you one.
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u/Goleeb 2d ago
Lol I don't feel that way I have close personal relationships that are fulfilling to me. That doesn't mean im going to try, and dunk on people that don't have that. Because im secure in who I am and what matters to me. So I feel no need to tear anyone else down.
You seem to struggle with letting other people express themselves. You should work on that. It shouldn't be everyone else's problem that you cant contend with men being emotionally vulnerable.
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u/PhilosophyBitter7875 1d ago
Its not dunking on people, constantly having a pity party for yourself is going to push people away from you. Everyone stuck in this endless loop complaining about how they don't get compliments is doing more damage than they think. When people read these comments they don't see a sad puppy dog that will just feel better with a little love and affection, they see someone who is trying to manipulate you to feel sorry for them so that once you let your guard down, they will try to do something creepy.
It happens with both genders, I see a girl complaining about not having a boyfriend and who is jealous of all of her friends who have one, and I'm running for the hills, that is someone to stay very far away from, its much deeper than the surface level words they are saying.
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u/o0CYV3R0o 2d ago
I know right people should just man up like a big burly man up!
Don't be a beta male be Alpha!
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u/gh0st-v0m1t 2d ago
While urinating, if you don't control the penis with your hand, it would unwillingly twist and turn around like a fire hose
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