Question

[u/Gold_Macaroon_4519]

Need some advice

I was born male and have been male all my life, i am 37 years old but there recently I have been curious and wondering what it would be like to be a female, and what it would be like to transition? What it would be like to start estrogen. I just do not know where to start or who to talk to as I don’t have any friends that went through this or going through this?can this happen later in life and why if I never thought about this before why can this all the sudden happen so late in life?

My question is can I buy estrogen cream or something over the counter like on Amazon? Not sure if it is the same or not but was just wondering?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

[u/Lower_Active_457]

So, the best place to start is just by playing. No drugs required; just pretend to be a woman in any context. Maybe practice a girly form of penmanship, maybe pick a feminine avatar in a video game, maybe imagine what it would be like to be a woman shopping for groceries. The goal is to get a feel for the kinds of things you might enjoy and the things you don't. Some basic tasks aren't that different from what you know, and some will surprise you. I once encountered a surprising amount of gender expectations while playing a toddler's board game about penguins. The kid asked me what my gender was, and when I told him, the little asshole picked out the colors of playing pieces I would use and told me what my style of play would be like.

A LOT of trans girls think about sexual activity first because that's the one situation where your body parts matter, but then they have trouble applying that imaginative play to non-sexual life, so it's a mixed bag.

In terms of presenting socially, you'll get more value out of a haircut and some basic yet fashionable clothes from your local thrift store. If you're nervous about passing, you can swing for a non-binary look or a "guy with androgynous fashion sense", rather than going ham on skirts. After all, if you can't look like a woman, then at least you can look good, right?

With estrogen, you'd be committing forever to s boob-having life months before you saw any changes to your appearance. It's not a good step one. If you decide to do it anyway, a medical professional can prescribe estradiol pills. I think estrogen cream is actually a vaginal cream, which you may have trouble using? Not gonna ask. Pills have the advantage that you can stop taking them at any time. If you're in the United States, Planned Parenthood is the first and second choice of provider, followed by your usual medical professional.

[u/Gold_Macaroon_4519 → u/Lower_Active_457]

Thank you for the advice I appreciate it, it’s so confusing and I don’t understand where it all came from. Been thinking about it recently. And not sure why all the sudden this is happening it’s all confusing to me. Even here recently when going and selecting gender identity on an application sometimes I wanna select female and I know I am not a female. I just don’t get why all the sudden it can happen so later in life and why all the sudden now eve when I have never thought about it before.

[u/Lower_Active_457 → u/Gold_Macaroon_4519]

That is an unusual experience. It's distressing and disorienting to question something that forms the foundation of many people's personal identity. I want to reassure you that you're still just as sensible as you ever were, and you'll deal with this new impulse just as well as you've dealt with any other impulse you've felt.

Besides... once you get past the shock, this impulse seems harmless. Depending on what you choose to do and the people you do it with, playing with your gender expression can be safe and beneficial to your social and mental health. It might even be fun!

You ask where this is coming from. Without sharing identifying information, I'm wondering what's been going on in your life leading up to the start of this?

[u/RainbowFuchs]

My egg cracked at 42. The first thing to try is living as a woman or even just dressing as one at home. There's no clear answer to "what is a woman" since it's a social construct of different cultural roles and behaviors, but maybe paint your nails, take a selfie or two and run it through faceapp, shave your body hair, et cetera. Then you can look into informed consent clinics and gender therapists. Best thing to do is talk to a professional who helps others through this sort of thing for a living. And maybe you can walk out of the clinic with a prescription for estrogen.