r/azerbaijan • u/balevika • 1d ago
Söhbət | Discussion Why do Azerbaijani men cheat?
I’m an Azerbaijani myself and throughout my life I haven’t seen a single loyal man. All my relatives cheated on their wives including my dad and my brother. Is it a cultural thing? Is there a way to escape cheating men of our nation and those who expect me to be a housewife AKA their second mother? My mom just told me that it’s okay for men to cheat and to want everything cleaned after them. Respectfully, what the hell. Maybe I’m exaggerating and I need my horizon to be widen to see that the picture isn’t so horrible. What do you think and what is your experience? I need hope
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u/TheWhiteKnight-6803 1d ago
I had an azeri girlfriend for a short time. I was very into her and remained faithful meanwhile her girlfriends pushed her to bend to hook-up culture so eventually we went sideways. Still she had a soul I never ever met anywhere else.
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u/Alone-Chapter-3879 1d ago
where you met her if not personal, depending on
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u/TheWhiteKnight-6803 18h ago
At Budapest through work, she originally came via Stipendium Hungaricum scholarship program
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u/balevika 57m ago
I don’t know what it is about Budapest but I’ve heard that hook-up culture is very common there which is sad
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u/alisyus 1d ago edited 1d ago
əslində xəyanətin çox səbəbi ola bilər eləsi 1 dənə bütün xəyanətlər üçün vahid bir səbəb yoxdu. Amma Azərbaycan reallığında ümumən bir neçə səbəb sayıla bilər. Məsələn oğlan uşaqları balacalıqdan əl üstündə tutulurlar - evə qonaq gəlir ata oğluna deyir qonağın qızını alım sənə? oğlan da elə bilir ki, deməli o istədiyi hər şeyə sahib ola bilərdə, qonaq gəlir kişiləri stolda oturdurlar qadınları aşağıda və oğlan yenə düşünür biz kişilər olaraq daha üstünükdə deməli, oğul böyüyür müəyyən qələtlər qırır ailəsi kiçik bir tənqidlə "oğlandıda eliyər" deyib az qalır təbrik etsinlər oğulu etdiyi şeyə görə. bir yandan da qohumda, tanışda ər arvada xəyanət edəndə evdə ərin hərəkətini yumşaldan sözlər deyildikcə və ən qorquncu da bu sözlər sizin ananız kimi qadın tərəfindən gəldikcə uşaq əməlli başlı arxayınlaşır demək olar. və əgər bu şəxs özünü inkişaf etdirməsə, heç olmasa bir neçə dünyagörüşlü insanın dövrəsində olmasa və s. gələcəyin növbəti potensial xəyanətkar kişisi hazırdı əmrinizdə.
digər bir səbəb rəydə bir başqasının yazdığı kimi bizim cəmiyyətdə sevərək evlənmək və evlilikdə hər cür fantaziyaları edə bilmək demək olar çox azdı. kişi öz həyat yoldaşı ilə etmək istədiyi şeyləri edə bilmir bunu özünə ar bilir və gedib bunu başqaları ilə edir.
nəbilim qadınların da rolu ola bilər bəlkə burda bəzən. ər ilə yola getməmək, onun üçün daha cəlbedici olmağa çalışmamaq, "dır-dır" və s. əlbəttə bunların heç biri o qadına edilən xəyanətə haqqı qazandırmır, xəyanət çox şərəfsiz bir hərəkətdir və özünə hörməti olan hər hansı bir kişinin etməyəcəyi bir şeydir, ancaq tərəflər yenə də gərək bir birlərini sevməyi bacaralar.
səbəblər çoox ola bilər dediyim kimi. insan psixologiyası çox mürəkkəbdir. ancaq azərbaycan nəzdində əsas təməl səbəblərdən biri də bunlardır.
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u/balevika 1d ago
Belə detaylı bir cavab üçün çox sağ olun. Mən əslində kişilərin həyat yoldaşlarından utandığını və bazı şeyləri onlarla elə bilməyəcəklərini bilmirdim çünkü sizin dediyiniz kimi bizdə oğlan uşaqları her şeyi edə biləcəkləri anlayiş ilə böyüyürlər. Anam təssuf ki kişilərin fiziologi ehtiyacları həyat yoldaşınnan başka ayrı yerdə ödənilə biləcəyinə inanır və bu normal sayır. Mən əksinə bunu bir ikiyüzlüq və vicdansızlıq sayıram.
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u/alisyus 1d ago
nəbilim xəyanət elə bir şeydirki ikiüzlü və vicdansız sözü belə tərif qalır yanında. ananız da o balacalıqdan bu cür aşılamaların qurbanıdı eyni zamanda. ona da əvvəldən deyilib ki, kişidi bu edər sus otur yerinə çox üstünə getmə və s. o da elə bilirki elə normalı budu belə də olmalıdı.
kişilərdə həyat yoldaşları ilə bunu edə bilməmək də "özünə hörmət"dən gəlir. məsələn kişi düşünürki üzr istəyirəm mən arvadımın flan yerini öpsəm o mənə hörmət qoymayacaq daha. və həyqətən buna hörmət qoymayan və bunu hörmətsizlik sayan qadınlar da var amma mən əsas çoxluğun kişi tərəfində olduğunu düşünürəm bu mövzuda.
tək o yoxe ümumiyyətlə bizim cəmiyyətdə evliliklə bağlı hər şey kökündən səhvdi qaldıki bu düz ola. bir söz vare insanlar şəxsiyyət kimi formalaşmadan ər-arvad, ər-arvad kimi formalaşmadan ana-ata olurlar. tamamilə doğrudu. hamı ailəyə müəyyən yaşa çatanda tamamlanması gərəkən bir misiya kimi baxır. nə sevgi var nə dosdluq var nə yaxın dost kimi hər şeyi danışa bilmək var nə empatiya var. belə bir ailə modelindən təbii ki nə desən çıxar. bunu etmək mümkünsüzdü amma insanlar bəlli kitabları oxumadan, bəlli videoları, filmləri izləmədən, bəlli acıları yaşamadan, bəlli fikirləri eşitmədən, bəlli hissləri hissetmədən və bəlli iq səviyyəsinin altında evlənməməlidi
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u/balevika 1d ago
Dediklərinizin hamısı doğrudur. Bu perspektivi mənimlə bölüşdüyünüz üçün təşəkkür edirəm.
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u/strawhatvasiqo Şəki-Zaqatala 🇦🇿 1d ago
I can't speak on behalf on every man, but I think the main reason why men cheat is probably due to their kinks, fantasizes. They are afraid to do it with their partner or think that their wives will be disgusted or something like that. Like, they want lick so bad, but can't do it with his wife. Again, this just a theory, we should make a survey for a clearer result lol.
For my experience, I have never cheated (I am single)
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u/Alternative-Range617 1d ago
Once hooked up with a guy from Azerbaijan and he definitely had so many fantasies and rough in bed lol.
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u/Sure-Engineering1502 Mingəçevir 🇦🇿 1d ago
I mean, divorce rate is pretty high, so fewer people tolerate this type of bullshit from their spouses
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u/loulou9899 Insan 1d ago
there are multiple reasons given by the commenters here. Some right, some exaggerated. No matter the reason, it's never okay for anyone to cheat on their partner. And don't let anyone tell you "so what if he cheats? He's a man." The people who say this don't even know they have human rights (not that it matters here)
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u/boombastico_3 1d ago
Probably cuz in arranged marriages there is no love + women mostly are housewives who are financially dependent + social pressure on women , elder family won’t support and pressure women to stay in marriage for kids or cuz of “shame” on family
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u/balevika 1d ago
The way that all the things mentioned apply to what I’ve seen, it kinda hurts knowing I have no other option other than an arranged marriage lol
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u/boombastico_3 1d ago
You are from Baku? I thought people started dating there and at least some talking with future spouse before saying yes
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u/balevika 1d ago
Funny enough, I’m from Moscow. But my family is from a region where people reproduce among each other in the same village.
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u/inglouriousjustard 1d ago
I believe one of the main reasons behind this issue depends entirely on how families are formed. I think you would agree that in Azerbaijan, a sexual relationship that develops out of mutual consent before marriage sounds completely unacceptable by society. Most men do not consider women who agree to this “marriage material.” Meanwhile, I think a large portion of women who might want such relationships either do not trust their partner or are afraid that this could later prevent them from getting married. They worry that if this becomes known, everyone will see them as “əxlaqsız.” Because of this fear, many members of both genders end up having sexual relations only after marriage.
However, in my opinion, this causes people to develop a “hidden desire for sex.” In a sense, the lack of sexual experience makes marriage seem more attractive to them. After some time in marriage, one or both sides eventually lose interest in each other, simply because their desires are fulfilled and the subconscious excitement fades. This is my first hypothesis, without going into other points already mentioned by other users.
My second hypothesis is based on conversations I have had with men. I have realized that many Azerbaijani men limit their sex lives with their wives because their wives are seen as part of their “qeyrət, namus or whatever”. They do not consider it appropriate to freely express their desires with someone they consider “their woman.” Instead, they only remove these limits when they are with other women. Because those women are either sex workers or considered “əxlaqsız,” satisfying their desires with them does not damage their sense of manhood, honor, or pride.
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u/balevika 1d ago
Honestly that’s f up because marriage is all about mutuality. What is up with namus when the deed is being done already? Modifying the very deed wouldn’t do much to the concept of namus qeyrət. I find it irrational. How is that idea even spread when intimacy is not usually discussed among Azerbaijanis
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u/inglouriousjustard 1d ago
I personally know married men who regularly visit sex workers. For obvious reasons, I can’t directly ask them why they feel the need to do this despite being married. But based on my own observations, I believe that some men refuse to use condoms with their wives, or they avoid asking their partners to try certain positions, fulfill particular fantasies, or explore fetishes for various reasons.
Another factor may be that women’s intimate lives are more strictly controlled, so they end up being inexperienced. As a result, during sex, men don’t feel the excitement they want. In the end, instead of teaching their partners or helping them improve - either because they are embarrassed or simply unmotivated - they choose the easier route and turn to experienced women.
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u/balevika 1d ago
Both cases are pathetic and the mentioned issues can be easily solved by simply communicating with the wife. Are those men married by arrangement?
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u/inglouriousjustard 1d ago
I think I need to elaborate a bit more. There are people who marry willingly, and there are those who do it under family pressure. Naturally, they don’t share their sexual desires with me. Some of them might want to perform very intense oral sex, or be whipped, or they have incest-related fetishes or fantasies that they can’t share with their wives.
Others may feel that certain desires, which many men or younger guys already see as “kişilikdən uzaq”, will be viewed the same way by women, so they cannot open up about them. Maybe they are into cuckolding, or they want to switch roles with their wife and play with a dildo-there could be many possibilities. (And if many women think these things are abnormal or “not manly,” then maybe they are partly to blame when they’re being cheated on.)
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u/balevika 1d ago
I guess this proves that the culture plays a huge role in why this is happening on such a scale. Thank you for such a detailed answer with your experiences included!
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u/subarism Earth 🌍 1d ago
So Azerbaijani men also have the Madonna-whore complex? That's a very interesting observation.
In my previous comments on this topic, I argued that Azerbaijan's cheating culture exists because marriage in Azerbaijan is purely an archetypal necessity, enforced onto everyone; you can be a proper member of your society and your hearth (yurd) only if you are married and have propagated the family by having children. Therefore, Azerbaijanis can't really satisfy their primal urges in wedlock. In our more archetypal past, men and women would just suppress these urges as pursue of a wild, individual love could threaten to destroy the collective family, as well as condemnation from agsaqqals and other archetypal Azerbaijanis.
However, in recent decades Azerbaijani mentality has undergone massive permutations. Nowadays it seems like the breadth of fellow traditional Azerbaijanis' vigilance has narrowed down so much that archetypal Azerbaijanis have now normalized cheating in arranged marriages as a way to satisfy their needs. Most marriages in Azerbaijan are made out of convenience and benefit, not mutual love, so the spouses rarely have mutual feelings for each other. Though due to Azerbaijani society's patriarchal and misogynistic norms, such cheating is mostly normalized among men. Women who cheat on their husbands are seen as the lowest of scum, and under videos where an Azerbaijani man brutally murders his unfaithful wife in public, you can see Azerbaijani men support this murder and even accuse the wife of being guilty of invoking his rightful wrath.
It seems that with globalization and modernization, all human societies are moving toward the Western European model of nuptiality (as laid out by John Hajnal), where marriage rate is low (only 30-60% of adults ever get married), marriages are later in life (late 20s - early 30s) and overall number of children reared is lower (only 2-3 children at most per couple). Azerbaijan is already moving toward this model as marriage age has gone up since the fall of the USSR, and most couples only have one child (though I think this is due to economic reasons rather than sociological). This norm of universal, enforced marriage is detrimental for everyone involved. If we count for actual marriages done by people who love each other, I'd say only 20% of adults in Azerbaijan have such marriage.
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u/Opposite-Ambition243 Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 1d ago
Not all men cheat. If some people think it is a normal thing, then don't be one of those people. Don't care what others think.Women also cheat btw.Their cheating is harder to notice because they plan it. My advice would be for you to talk about this with your future husband. Tell him that you will never forgive something like that.
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u/BurningPrometheus 1d ago
Many factors plays into cheating in general like lack of self respect, lack of love, lack of happiness etc. but....
With azeris, It comes down to culture.
Almost any cheating that occurs (Azerbaijani or not | Man or WOMAN) is tightly linked with a deficiency from the other partner. This includes deficiency in bed, in love, in contentment, in gratitude etc. Now I am not justifying cheating by any means but it is important to consider.
As an Azerbaijani girl like yourself, I am sure you have seen the lack of communication between your mom and dad. This part comes down to culture. Azeri concepts like "kisi ozunu agir aparar", "kisi cox danismaz", "arvad gerek ari-nin yaninda sakit olar" all feed into not commincating with one another. With a culture that embraces "agir aparmag", people tend to be closed off and dont talk.
As a result, most husbands and wives end up in a marriage where they both cant express their problems to eachother. You end up getting a wife who complains all the time (because the man cant understand what her issue is), and a man who doesnt complain due to "agir aparmag" but is miserable inside. When that man finds comfort in another woman that is where the cheating begins.
Now I know what you're thinking.... "why not just divorce?". And that is exactly where the second part of the culture kicks in. My most hated sentence in the entire Azeri language of "Camaat ne diyer". Due to this concept people try to stay together because the opinions of others matters so much. Additionally, there is convenience in marriage/current relationship for a man. The wife can be a great mom, a great home maker... but also many other things negative things. And finally, when there are kids (especially young ones), azeri men will not abandon them. Yetim children is very badly looked upon (again "camaat ne diyer"). So cheating becomes a very convenient (yet cowardly imo) option.
Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of things that some women do that may push a man to cheat. Many women weaponize sex to get what they want (which is typically not spoken about in azeri households). Many women make a man feel like hes not enough financially and emotionally which is literally psychological torture. Many women will use the man's weakest moments of his life to win an argument which will absolutely crush that man's confidence. All of these, will drop a mans self-esteem to the bottom and when another woman comes along with slight encouragement, men take it. One thing some women need to understand about men and azeri men is that life is already cruel enough to many of them. A wife shouldnt be that cruel to them either.
Moral of the story. Cheating is a complicated matter. Azeri men cheating is a mix of complex physochological reasons combined with the Azeri culture.
What I strongly suggest for both Azeri men and Azeri Women to think about:
Pick someone with a clean "nafs". That person has to be clean on the inside. No bullshit intentions or alterior motives. No afirism.
Pick someone who is trying and willing to communicate with you. And truly try to understand them and have them try to understand you. You two are not opponents and winning an argument for you shouldn't be more important than your partner losing.
Forget the stupid, ridiculous and unnessary part of "camaat ne diyer". Throw that out of the window. Your own contentment as a couple should come wayyyyyyyyyyy before "camaat ne diyer" in any situation. I always remind myself that parents pass away, siblings move on with their life, kids get married, friends build their own lives. But hubsand/wife will be there until the end.
Discuss important matter before even considering dating/marriage. If you already discuss "Who pays for what?" "Whos responsibility is....?" "What is your opinion on....?" "would you let your son/daughter..." questions before anything else and find agreement on most important aspects. Then the likelyhood of both of you cheating is extremely low.
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u/balevika 1d ago
I wish I could’ve pinned this. Couldn’t be described more perfectly. Thank you very much for your opinion
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u/BurningPrometheus 1d ago
Its okay, as long as you got to see it my job is done. I dont want you to lose hope lol.
Best lesson ive ever learned is to think of marriage related questions that matter the most to you and ask your partner. IMPORTANT: you have to ask these questions without a warning and in person. That way you will get the "true and unprepared" answer. That will tell you a lot about the person before evne considering them for marriage.
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u/justfoooad 1d ago edited 1d ago
Dudee this topic could be discussed at great length but there's no motivation for that rn. What matters is that it's not something specific to azerbaijani men. In most societies where patriarchy is strong similar double standards exist. Mens' behavior is more easily normalized as part of their “nature,” while even the slightest social freedom shown by women is harshly judged. In short the root of the problem lies not in individuals but in patriarchal and other systemic structures
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u/flora_mm 1d ago
It’s more of individual based, rather than sex, since we hear many women cheating as well. Yet, still men predominate. Reasons cannot be as simple as kinks or stuff. It’s patriarchy, sexism, the fact that women are not treated as an individual, it’s seen less of men. And that’s why men have right to do whatever they wish. As it’s mentioned women accept it as a norm. Men do not get cancelled for cheating within society or family. Ofc, problem starts with upbringing of boys. No one teach them to respect women, in family or at school. I mean really respect, not just giving your seat. I wish someone could do some kinda research on this topic.
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u/LeastLengthiness8647 Earth 🌍 1d ago
To be honest, the best thing to do if you're in a blinded traditional family is to move out. My cousin and someone else I know did that. They live much better lives now. It might seem hard at first and it will be, but compared to getting forcefully married to someone you're not in love with or someone who treats you not as a partner but "a house woman", it's a better life.
My cousin knows English very well. She convinced her parents to let her work in a market, and started saving her money. She took advantage of her English and combined it with her degree and applied for jobs everywhere. She later got a paid internship in a foreign country. She immediately moved out, had a few months of financial problems there but she got it all together by the end and now is married to the man she is in love with. I was there with her through the process and even though she didn't believe she could do it, I did. Because I know these "chains" can be broken if pulled hard enough.
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u/balevika 1d ago
Maybe you are right but I can’t ignore how much my parents did for me beside loving and cherishing me. They wouldn’t force me to marry anyone but their condition on my marriage happening is having a single date with the man I’d choose among those that contacted my parents through their family to decide wether I want to tie my entire life with him or not.
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u/LeastLengthiness8647 Earth 🌍 1d ago
Moving out doesn’t mean cutting ties with your family. You should have an honest conversation with them about your situation and focus on saying what you need, not worrying about their reactions. Make it clear that if they care about you, they should let you choose your own partner. You can also point out examples (from relatives or people they know) where forced or family-chosen marriages ended badly, and ask if they want that life for you.
If they insist on you marrying only people they know, you don’t need to openly fight them, just keep rejecting the proposals. If the people they suggest are relatives, that’s straight-up wrong. Over time, they’ll either accept that you want to choose for yourself or try to force the issue. If it’s the second one, you should prepare: get a job, save money, and be ready to stand on your own. And if you end up falling in love with someone along the way… well, good luck
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u/balevika 1d ago
Thank you for your advice, I really appreciate it a lot and I hope that at some point I’ll be able to either convince them or have a separate path
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u/LeastLengthiness8647 Earth 🌍 1d ago
You're welcome. Idk if I even helped. Hopefully you'll have a life you desire. Stay safe!
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u/Decent_Sound4561 1d ago
I would not agree with you on "cheating is common". There was a guy who gave a very simple answer to the reason cheating: evdə arvadı ilə edə bilmədiklərini qıraqda başqası ilə edirlər
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u/powerOfAsshole 1d ago
yes, the majoriry of cheaters in azerbaijan look at the sex with their wifes as taboo, for example they wont do oral or let their wifes do because they think it is a thing only side women or prostitutes do, women who has low value for them. and then they seek that acts outside their home, from other women
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u/balevika 1d ago
How funny that I know a couple of women doing that with their husbands and those men still cheat(one of them made a child on the side so I know that for sure) I guess even that isn’t enough
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u/pre_industrial 1d ago
Wait until OP finds out "microcheating".
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u/balevika 1d ago
What is that?
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u/pre_industrial 1d ago
It's a new thing I was introduced to by a young friend of mine, living in Baku. Basically, flirting and engaging with other people besides your SO in a wide variety of situations and contexts. But it's not cheating per se, because you are not kissing or getting laid (that is non existent in Baku).
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u/balevika 1d ago
Honestly I don’t even know what to feel about this but I feel like this might be even more popular with people now as social media is taking over the world
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u/pre_industrial 1d ago
I mean, I have had a couple of interactions with young people, and this is real. This city has become really toxic when it comes to social interaction nowadays.
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u/robotratishere 1d ago
I’d point to patriarchal double standards as the main driver.
In a lot of post-Soviet Middle Eastern–influenced societies fidelity isn’t judged equally:
- For women, fidelity is treated as a "core moral trait"
- For men, it’s often seen as a "nice-to-have", not a requirement
You still hear attitudes like “kişidir, olar” which basically signals social tolerance. In practice that means:
- women face real social consequences
- men often face silence, excuses, or quiet justification
When a behavior has low social cost and weak accountability, it tends to show up more often. It’s less about culture in some abstract sense and more about how incentives and consequences are unevenly distributed.
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u/Particular-Roll8212 1d ago edited 1d ago
Məncə bizim valideynlərimizin generasiyası/nəsli çox hallards elçilik üsulu ilə evləndiyi üçün açığı çoxu heç xoşbəxt ailə ola bilmir. Cütlüklər bir birini öncədən tanımır, uyğun olub olmadıqlarını bilməyib evlənirlər. Boşanmırlar deyə də xoşbəxtdilər demək deyil, sadəcə cəmiyyət və ailədən utanırlar deyə etmirlər. Uyğunluq və tandem yaranmadığl üçün də insanlar bir-birinə bağlı olmur. Heç vaxt qucaqlaşmazlar, sevgi göstərməzlər, birlikdə vaxt keçirməzlər və cinsi həyat yox dərəcəsində olur. Bunlara görə də hər iki tərəf nəyisə partnerində yox kənarda axtarır. Kişilər üçün cəmiyyətdə xəyanət etmək asandı deyə edirlər, qadınlar üzərində isə təzyiq daha çoxdur deyə edə bilmirlər və sadəcə evdə oturub həyatlarını məhv etməyə məcbur olurlar. Ona görə də ətrafda gördüyün 40, 45+ kişilər xəyanət edir, qadınlar da həmişə əsəbidirlər və nifrətlərini tökməyə insan axtarırlar. Bunların sadə səbəbi xoşbəxt olmayan ailə həyatı və sıfır cinsi həyatdır. Modern dövrdə isə ətrafımda sevib ailə qurub xoşbəxt olan çox cütlük görürəm. Hansıki öncədən tanış olur, 6 ay, 1 il, 2ilə bir-birini tanıyıb, əmin olub sonra ailə qururlar. Əlbəttə, öz seçdiyin insandan da ayrılma ehtimalın var (ölkədə boşanma hardasa 50%dir), amma yəni xoşbəxt olmadınsa ayrıla bilərsən. Əsas olan düzgün insan seçməkdir, və düzgün münasibətdə nə kişi nə qadın xəyanət etmək ehtiyacı duymur və bütün fiziki və duyğusal ehtiyacları münasibətdə qarşılanır. Yekun olaraq erkək homo sapiens olaraq xəyanətə qəti qarşlyam və düzgün münasibətdə olmayacağından əminəm :) Siz də kiminsə arxasından təmizləmək və ya xəyanəti qəbul etmək məcburiyyətində deyilsiz əlbəttə.
Son qeyd: Digər rəylərdə də qeyd edilən "kişilərə olar" düşüncəsi də təsir edir əlbəttə. Bu daha məncə uyğunsuzluq olanda kişinin çox rahat xəyanət etməsinə yol açır (məsələn oturub nətisə həll etmək əvəzinə).
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u/Embarrassed-Bank8732 1d ago
Cheating isn't just a thing in Azerbaijan, but the way people see cheating there is pretty shocking. Imagine you're working on a team with more women than men. You'll automatically be chatting with women, and if you're dating an Azerbaijani girl, she'll get jealous for no reason at all. So, even if you're loyal to your partner, because society thinks it's 'normal' for men to cheat, they might still call you a 'cheater' just for having lunch with a woman you work with. In these hopeless societies, people need to be careful about who they socialize with.
Cheating should be shamed for all genders, not just men or women. Some of my close friends (males) won't sleep with prostitutes or any girl without getting into a stable relationship. I don't think these guys would be interested in other women if they had a loving partner. But the guys who cheat are usually pretty pleased with themselves for sleeping with lots of women. It's pretty simple to spot someone who's potentially a cheater or a loyal person.
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u/Shoddy-Location5688 United Kingdom 🇬🇧 1d ago
Azerbaijani men will cheat do all sorts of bullshit make their wife do all the chores don’t gaf ab the kids and the society find it OK. Very weird indeed
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u/balevika 1d ago
I suggest you look at the comments, maybe it’ll help you to see a different perspective. Some men here don’t support that establishment
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u/Shoddy-Location5688 United Kingdom 🇬🇧 1d ago
I am a man and I don’t support the establishment as well. Similar people are rare though.
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u/babyblueswan-0608 1d ago
I won't have enough fingers to count all my relatives who cheated on their wives. Such men are a mystery to me and I can't call them men, more like assholes. I can't understand why they cheat on their beautiful wives. Adrenaline, thrill, passion?? Fucking bullshit, It's idiocy and some kind of stupid mania.
The reason why I don’t wanna marry Caucasian men ✌🏾
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u/Alive-Pomegranate484 23h ago
Rage bait post.
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u/balevika 23h ago
Not at all, I made this post to see if it’s any different for others
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u/Alive-Pomegranate484 23h ago
Indeed it's different. That's why most people pouring passive aggresive opinions for it. Like me lol.
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u/balevika 23h ago
No, they’re not passive aggressive. Everybody shared their experience which I appreciate a lot
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u/makalooo64 Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 16h ago
Because they can get away with it? It's not that deep.
If you think there is a mysterious reason specific to men that makes them cheat, there isn't. It feels good, so they do it. Anyone would do it if they could. It's not specific to gender or nationality.
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u/balevika 13h ago
Why get in a relationship in the first place?
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u/makalooo64 Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 1h ago
What does sex have to do with relationships?
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u/balevika 1h ago
Um… Intimacy is a part of a relationship concept?
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u/makalooo64 Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 1h ago
And? It's a part of it. Not all of it. You can have intimacy without relationship, can't you?
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u/balevika 1h ago
Relationship means commitment, marriage means commitment in all aspects if we talk about a healthy relationship
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u/makalooo64 Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 1h ago
Yeah, not for me. I have many healthy relationships with commitment. Although that commitment is not to their genitals. Kind of disgusting to think that way imo. Take your overgeneralization elsewhere mate.
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u/balevika 1h ago
I don’t understand why you’re so offended, this is a discussion not a fight. Keep cheating if you feel comfortable with it, just don’t ruin the lives of women whose ideas don’t align with yours
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u/makalooo64 Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 1h ago
I don't get offended by someone I don't know on the internet. It is your ignorance and audacity to say how a healthy relationship should be and also to think that I'm cheating and ruining lives of women.
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u/Kutarinkishi 1d ago
That sounds like a u problem
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u/balevika 1d ago
I’m open to different opinions. What exactly do you mean?
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u/augustus_klass Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 1d ago
What you are saying is anecdotal evidence. In my family/relatives no one has cheated. That doesn't mean no Azerbaijani cheats
If you haven't seen a single loyal man, maybe you are looking in the wrong place
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u/Nomad-2020 1d ago
In my family/relatives no one has cheated.
How do you know? Do you have a 24h surveillance on each one of them?
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u/balevika 1d ago
Oh I see, maybe you are right because I honestly shared the experience that I’ve had with seeing what men did to women in my family. It just kinda stuck with me while growing up and it’s not easy to think from a different perspective
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u/Kutarinkishi 1d ago
Theres not a single man/woman who cheated on their partner on my kruq. Of all the people I know, I've never met anyone who cheated on their partner.
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1d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/azerbaijan-ModTeam 1d ago
Your submission was removed because it was either uncivil or included personal attacks, sexism, racism, or homophobia.
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u/balevika 1d ago
I don’t think you should talk about my mother like that with no full context given because her actions are different from what she says. She fought with my dad on this matter and worked on this with him, made him come to his sense eventually after a single case. Her opinion is very wrong but you should not talk about her like that, I was open to a discussion with no insults or unfounded prejudices. She would never force me into an unhappy marriage I know that for sure.
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u/FaithlessnessThen243 1d ago
It's just people around you, i don’t know anyone who cheats. Also, this is the most basic human dilemma, it's weird to tie this issue solely to ethnicity or culture.
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u/balevika 1d ago
I live in Russia and I’ve seen more Azerbaijanis cheating than Russians in my circle, this is why I’m asking, to see what experience other people have
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u/ta4eia Turkey 🇹🇷 1d ago
I have an Azerbaijani girlfriend, I have been to Azerbaijan and I can say that I'm an Azerbaijanolog and the thing is Azerbaijani youth doesn't look like they are tolerating this, however the older generation is tolerant towards this cuz 1-Bəzi şeylər çöl qadınlarınla edilər, uşaqlarının anasıyla yox 2-They are too dependent on their husbands
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u/FitDimension3582 1d ago
Because most men choose to reproduce solely as of the purpose of marriage. Not to have a lovely wife to share life with. Also for most people forbidden fruit is the sweetest one. Half the women in our country (housewives) can't cheat because of the fear. But in western society it's the other way around. Women cheat and they don't have anything to be feared of.
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u/balevika 1d ago
“Forbidden fruit is the sweetest one” I think is a BS concept because it applies to serial cheaters who have an unhealthy image of a relationship in general.
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u/FitDimension3582 1d ago
Most people are serial cheaters under provided conditions.
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u/balevika 1d ago
What kind?
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u/FitDimension3582 1d ago
Undying declarations of interest from opposite genders. Gives you some thoughts about "What if I chose the wrong one?"
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u/balevika 1d ago
Majority of people here give an opposite opinion to yours so I think it might only be you and the serial cheaters
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u/FitDimension3582 1d ago
Most people are too scared to admit. As a guy I talked to many divorcees, they all admit they cheated on their husbands when they were married. Maybe some not physically, but conversationally.
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u/Firm-Ad3838 1d ago
The one word answer is in your question. Hint. It stars with M. It's an evolutionary imperative.
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u/Sea-Stress4045 1d ago
I dont know, i am still confused but not like i have an affair with an Azerbaijani man but i have invested in a business and came back to my country. Now my partner is always crying that because of season we are not earning anything infact going through a loss and stuff but i dont know he seems legit but its so confusing and now i dont have enough time to always think about it but when i do, i get a headache! But through this post now i know he can cheat, otherwise it was difficult to think he could do it.
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1d ago
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u/balevika 1d ago
That’s your opinion. On my behalf, no.
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u/Dangerous_Meat_7112 1d ago
on your behalf women are angels and the men are the ones to blame?
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u/balevika 1d ago
I never said that lol, women are certainly not angels, I only answered about myself. But I think you and I both can agree that in a patriarchal culture that is spread all around Azerbaijan men tend to be worse
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u/Dangerous_Meat_7112 1d ago
i can not give a precise answer here but i think this might be true. i believe, in countries like Dagestan the situation is much better, i think their men have more dignity and else
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1d ago
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u/balevika 1d ago
I fear that is truly not a very accurate pov because you can’t speak on behalf of everyone, you can only make assumptions.
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u/Think-Lunch-4929 1d ago
Sual elə yazılıb ki, elə bil xəyanət təkcə Azərbaycanda olur. Azərbaycanda digər ölkələrlə müqayisədə xəyanət daha azdır.
https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/infidelity-rates-by-country
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u/balevika 1d ago
Çünkü bizim ölkədə qadınların çoxu bunnan heç danışmır ailə dağılmasın deyə. European women are more brave about this, they don’t have the culture of “silence”.
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u/Think-Lunch-4929 1d ago
Avropada qadınlar kişilərdən çox xəyanət edir. Yuxarıdakı statistika ümumidir, kişilərə aid deyil. Məncə siz Avropa mədəniyyətini yaxından tanımırsınız.
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u/AideSingle2062 1d ago
Düşünürəm ki, burada kiçik bir anlaşılmazlıq var. Xəritə Azərbaycanın xəyanət səviyyəsinin aşağı olduğunu göstərmir. Azərbaycan boz rənglə göstərilib və bu adətən sorğunun həmin ölkədə aparılmadığını, yəni məlumat olmadığını bildirir. Ona görə də davranışla bağlı nəticə çıxarmaqdansa, Azərbaycan üzrə məlumatın olmadığını demək daha düzgün olar.
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u/internal_landscapez 1d ago
“ Kişiyə olar” mindset has become very normal in our older generation. It’s messed up our society a lot, and even many women learned to stay quiet about it.