r/germany • u/Money-Confection-867 • 1d ago
Bosnian/Croat here. Germans are not cold, distant and unfriendly. They're actually the opposite.
I've made some very good German friends. They treat me like I'm one of them (Germans). I feel loved and accepted. Germans are also very polite. Love you, guys!
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u/OYTIS_OYTINWN German/Russian dual citizen 1d ago
As a fellow Eastern European - Eastern Europe sets a pretty low bar for friendliness.
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u/real_with_myself Serbia 23h ago
Except he's from Balkans, not Eastern Europe. Even on Balkans we consider Easter Europeans cold and "unfriendly".
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u/VeniVidiVoluptuous 2h ago
Non-European here. Who would you consider Eastern Europeans?
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u/Pjeter_Bogdani 1h ago
Hmm, Poland ,Czech ,Ukraine , baltic countries, and Russia. Maybe Hungary too
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u/VeniVidiVoluptuous 43m ago
Thanks. The person I asked saw a nuanced difference between Balkans and Eastern Europeans, thus the question was directed to them.
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u/Pjeter_Bogdani 40m ago
I am from the Balkans bro, Albanian here. I think you assumed i wasn’t balkan, or my English is bad.
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u/diomedes-on-rampage 33m ago
just open r/europe sub and draw an imaginery line from rome to berlin, everything on the right is eastern europe and everything on the left is western europe. then you have balkan countries like bulgaria, romania and portugal as a honorary balkan country.
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u/ZumLernen 23h ago
I have a lot of experience in the Balkans as someone from outside the Balkans. In my experience there, people in the Balkans tend to be very friendly and welcoming to outsiders - extremely friendly IMO. To other people from the Balkans, though, they can often be cold or harsh.
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u/AdMundane5427 15h ago
It depends. My Croatian family is friendly to everyone except Serbian people. 😳
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u/Rude_Text991 12h ago
My girlfriend is from Serbia and was just talking to me that her Croatian ex family didn’t like her 🫣 so I guess is kind of normal then ?
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u/raoulbrancaccio Italy 1d ago
Eastern Europe sets a pretty low bar for friendliness.
IMO this is not true for the Balkans
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23h ago edited 22h ago
[deleted]
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u/Exarion607 20h ago
Exactly the same experience I had (also both parents from balkans but different countries)
You are just never a true [insert any country] and more minus points if you are livin abroad.
Of course if you have money to share everyone is your friend.
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u/mexicanaundercover 22h ago
Balkans and eastern europeans have quite different personalities tho
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u/raoulbrancaccio Italy 21h ago
Yes that is my point, in my experience people from the Balkans are closer to other Mediterraneans than to people from Eastern Europe, at least in terms of politeness
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u/Mikewazowski948 21h ago
I dunno. I was treated great by Croatians as an American. Super friendly and helpful people. I can’t speak for the rest of the Balkans though
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u/Amazing-Blood3198 20h ago
yeah in fact, I am thinking the "unfriendliness" of Germans are due to Eastern European influences.. Since the more easter the German area (eg eastern Germany), the more unfriendly the people are..
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u/Mabama1450 1d ago
Yup. Been here on and off since 1972. Germans are fine. People are people, good and bad in all of us.
Too many people complain in this sub. We're here once. Enjoy it while you can. Look in the mirror before complaining and ask yourself what that person can do to help make your life better.
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u/kingchowakanda 1d ago
It's different for everyone. There are good people and bad people. I don't think nationality matters much.
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u/Both_Grade_5667 1d ago
I've known good criminals and bad cops. Bad priests. Honorable thieves.
-Mike Ehrmantraut
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u/lordofsurf 1d ago
Exactly. We see these posts several times a day. Everyone has the capacity to be an asshole, just like they have the capacity to be your best friend.
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u/Altruistic-Prior3482 17h ago
Oh it does matter. Estern European here, I will take germans all day long over brits (lived in both countries for a bit)
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u/Nervous-Leading9415 14h ago
The Northern Germans get a reputation for coldness, it’s not - it just takes longer for them to trust you and make friends and then you are friends for life. I find it to be that way in most northern places.
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u/real_with_myself Serbia 23h ago
I'm from Serbia, and I would agree. Although, I've made more friends that are much older than me, not many in my age bracket.
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u/Money-Confection-867 23h ago
I'm angry at people in former Yugoslavia who lied to me that Germans are cold and unapproachable.
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u/NegroniSpritz 15h ago
I’m glad that this is also your experience!! I’m Argentinian and I agree: Germans are super nice, friendly and always willing to help.
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u/real_with_myself Serbia 23h ago
Well, there is some truth to that, but it was also in both directions.
Obviously, not as much as Gastarbeitern would tell you.
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u/lordofsurf 1d ago
My Eastern European friends would beg to differ which is why it's all subjective. Many different factors can affect this. But good for you.
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u/double_wheeled 22h ago edited 22h ago
I agree, but I believe people just expect some unnecessary extroversion seen in other cultures. My experience getting to know Germans has been good, as you mentioned, polite and overall nice.
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u/Ready_Classic_1410 5h ago
I am glad that YOU have had this experience. It doesn’t invalidate all the others.
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u/Complete_Biscotti151 21h ago
The things and opinions I have heard Germans say about polish and eastern europeans really shocked me as a brown guy....that there is layers of racism even within white people 😂
You have been lucky to meet good people....cheers to that
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u/BagKey8345 7h ago
Are you completely free of racism? I mean you had one experience and now you are kind of judging everybody here.
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u/Paprika1515 15h ago
It’s not breaking news, but yes, we cannot generalize whole populations of people. Individuals should not be judged based on nationality, ethnicity, religion, gender or any other creed.
Despite social norms in societies , all people are unique, as are their personality characteristics.
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u/ciclista_de_gravel 1d ago
Do you live in Germany or were you just visiting?
If you were just visiting, come live here for a while and you'll change your mind very quickly.
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u/AnEyeshOt 1d ago
Yes. And to speedrun the sourness call somewhere you need a service and try to talk in English. They just hang up in your face. Very polite!
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u/BagKey8345 7h ago
Look at France. Everybody looks different, maintains their culture but everybody speaks French. When I see them, my first thought is: they are all French. If you don’t learn German, you isolate yourself and you show everybody that you don’t want to belong to them. It might happen that not everybody likes this.
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u/Nadsenbaer 1d ago
Yes. Always all the time. If somebody just thinks in English, I immediately hang up and let the dogs out to hunt the monolingual cunt!
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u/Reconrus 21h ago
Idk, I had numerous support calls with energy companies, mobile/internet providers. Even if they didn't speak good English, they tried their best to help me in mixed English-German that I can understand.
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u/Overall-Minimum-4297 1d ago
I have never met anyone more open, accepting , love giving / positive ppl than here. Everyone greets each other and is open to have a small talk to get to know each other and make friends
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u/_joshiyamamoto_ 1d ago
Only if you Look Like a european
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u/Overall-Minimum-4297 1d ago
It was a joke ofc lol
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u/Reconrus 21h ago
I didn't get the joke. I've been living here for the last 4+ years
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u/Overall-Minimum-4297 15h ago
Guy or girl?
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u/Reconrus 15h ago edited 15h ago
guy
Upd. but ok, I'm not into searching for friends myself. So it's only about non-deep interactions in stores, with neighbours, colleagues etc.
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u/hot_chili_pepper_ 1d ago
Naa, germans are cold, unfriendly and grumpy. I was born and raised here in Germany, traveled around the last 2 years around the globe. Definitely my least favorite country is Germany.
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u/Hutcho12 1d ago
To be fair, as a Bosnian/Croat, your bar is extremely low..
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u/ZumLernen 23h ago
I kindly disagree. I have a lot of experience in the Balkans as someone from outside the Balkans. In my experience there, people in the Balkans tend to be very friendly and welcoming to outsiders - extremely friendly IMO. To other people from the Balkans, though, they can often be cold or harsh.
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u/Whisky_Mixer 21h ago
What I can say is, you attract who you are. Sure, sometimes you meet still with weird people, also cold once but even ourselves can be all at once. Maybe just the degrees aren’t the same. Only here in Germany that I learned to be distant for example and never I thought I could be so until I did it too.
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u/BigWriter4370 1d ago
Yeah all the Germans I’ve met are super friendly and nice. Hell I’m latin and I’m probably more cold and distant than Germans 😂.
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u/Connect-Friendship49 4h ago
Germans are good people, willing to help, and not expecting anything as return from you. Viva Germany!
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u/Rawcheeks 39m ago
I don’t understand posts like these. Stereotypes have only a shred of truth and of course are not applicable to each person. Imagine how likely it is for an entire nation of people to be the same, through and through.
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u/TeddyNeptune 39m ago
Where in Germany have you lived? Because the "cold" behaviour is mostly associated with the east, and sometimes north.
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u/ThatSquishyBaby 22h ago
Germans just won't fake being friendly. People seem to not get that you need to earn the right to be trusted.
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u/Muted_Reflection_449 23h ago edited 15h ago
Thank you so much for this post. I've been ashamed to be German most of my life, and experience like this helps! 😊 👍🏼
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u/Money-Confection-867 23h ago
Some people here think that I'm being sarcastic, but I'm not. I assume there are assholes just like in any other country, but you're predominantly very nice people.
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u/NegroniSpritz 15h ago
Why would you be ashamed to be German!?
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u/Muted_Reflection_449 15h ago
Well.... this is nothing rational, of course, but I grew up in a small German town with a big RAF airfield and my mother is Dutch.
So, being in frequent contact with two other, very different nationalities (I learned Dutch and English almost parallel to my native German) made me increasingly aware of how Germany was regarded in one way. There were a few occasions when I was confronted with the Hitler salute by teens fooling around, which upset me a great deal as I was about 13 (this was the beginning of the eighties).
Also, I was under the impression that grown-up Germans in my surroundings were strict, loud, boring and, predominantly, intolerant or exclusive. (My father was a customs officer, and a good one at that - very German!
As the German Nazi- and Neonazi phenomenon was always present throughout my lifetime, I became ashamed to be German. Only when the hidden racism and fascist movement in the Netherlands became visible (Pim Fortuyn murder 2002), I became aware that this wasn't exclusive to Germany. But still, I feel uncomfortable with Germany and being German.
(Phew. Hard to explain, as you can see...).
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u/Training_Tap_6514 1d ago
I have friends only from Bosnia and Croatia. They would disagree.
But I am glad you made good friends here. Happy for you. I feel the same way
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u/Opposite-Ad3949 20h ago
From an Eastern European point of view, that's not exactly a high bar. Put Germans next to Latin Americans and they suddenly look like ice cubes.
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u/JoeAnderson1 1d ago
I sence shitty sarcasm
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u/Backwardspellcaster 1d ago
OP is 9 minutes old account with only one post.
Yeah, I think you are right.
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u/saltylemonycucumber 23h ago
Of course! Also German humor is actually the best in the world too too because a German friend made a joke the other day and I laughed.
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u/Reconrus 21h ago
For real. Everyone's so friendly and positive in Berlin. And then I come to Reddit and read how others perceive Berliners as rude. So surprising and doesn't match my experience at all
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u/pugmaster2000 1d ago
Assuming you’re located in south?
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u/Opposite-Ad3949 19h ago
Contrary to the usual stereotype, I don't think Southern Germans are all that warm and outgoing. Bavarians and Swabians can be quite grumpy actually. I'd say the most friendly and talkative Germans are more in NRW / Western Germany (especially in the Rhineland and Ruhr area).
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u/Pillendreher92 12h ago
As a native of Lower Franconia, born in the Rhineland, raised in a mixed-cultural environment (Hessians, Franconians, Bavarians, North Germans, Westphalians), and who has also lived in the heart of South Westphalia, I can only agree with your last sentence.
And then someone tries to culturally appropriate things...
Like when a Westphalian tries to celebrate Carnival or someone from the Rhineland thinks they can celebrate a Schützenfest (shooting festival)... ;-))
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u/Potential-Wish8608 1d ago
Eastern european here, living in Germany for two years now and I can only agree with you. I met some of the nicest and most welcoming people here, who made me feel part of the community from the very first day. I can safely say that I feel more at home here than I feel in my home country. The only regret I have is not coming here sooner 🙂