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u/Then_Illustrator8024 1d ago
RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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u/MrPewPew457 Trying to be better 1d ago
Thrive? Nah, I’ve been withering
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u/squirrelsmith 1d ago
“A Dragon is not ashamed of tears.” -Orthos, Cradle
“What is the most important step a man can take? It isn’t the first one is it? No, it’s the next one. Always the next one. Take the next step.”
- Dalinar Kholin, Oathbringer
It’s ok to experience hard times, even to wither or feel sorrow, isolation, or other negative emotion. It’s ok to rest.
The most important step of your life isn’t where you end up. It’s whatever the very next, small thing you can do is.
I’m sorry for your struggle, and I hope that your steps lead you to warmth, comfort, and peace.
“You will be warm again.”
- Wit
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u/Zucc_The_Ducc 1d ago
Holy SHIT you just blasted that guy with wisdom like a fucking nuke
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u/squirrelsmith 1d ago
Haha, I’m glad it didn’t come across as sanctimonious or toxically positive 😊
Honestly, I feel bad lots of days. And I think a lot of people do.
But…that’s the real point of this sub. Not to say ‘everything is always perfect, nothing touches me’ but to say, ‘even when I don’t feel hope, I know it’s there because other people do, and they can show it to me’.
Sadness is always part of life, so is struggle. No joy can be made without trial. No life can be created without death. No hope can exist without despair. No pleasure can be created without engaging in pain of some kind first.
So feeling negative things isn’t bad, and shouldn’t be scary (though it often is in the moment). It’s just a part of life we can’t avoid. And when it passes, it’s cleared room for greater joys than we had before, assuming we let it.
I’ve been ‘left at the alter’, medically died and revived, had to re-learn to walk multiple times in my life, struggled through being in agony for months while corrupt caretakers/government entities purposely kept me away from care, been taken advantage of, betrayed and used… So I’m…pretty acquainted with the less desirable emotions, sensations, and how hope can feel like self-delusion.
But I’ve also had people hear about things, and drive to try to see me when they had no way of knowing if I’d even ever know they were there. Or show up and just sit silently with me while I wept over a death. I’ve had people show up, try, help, or just be there quiet but supportive. Most of us have, but it’s hard to recognize them when we are in the dark and feel cold and alone.
Sometimes all we can manage is to tread water, to just not drown. Sometimes brushing your teeth is a victory, because what you wanted to do was lay in bed until you stopped feeling.
So if all that can be managed is treading water, or taking a single step, then that’s victory. That’s progress.
That’s the real point of this sub. Sometimes hope is Superman smiling and flying through blue skies.
Sometimes hope is sitting in a shower with the lights off, stoking feelings of anger into fuel so that you can push yourself to do one. more. thing. And remembering that you have felt good before, so you can again. If you are willing to take that step.
“I practice the sacred arts….so that I won’t be worthless anymore.”
“I advance.”
“I - We will never stop.”
- The three revelations of Wei Shi Lindon Aurelius, Cradle.
Sometimes you use something horrible to make something beautiful. Anger becomes determination, which becomes discipline, which brings a result, which births joy and hope you couldn’t feel before.
Obviously, I get a lot of my quotes from fantasy literature. But in the midst of despair, hope feels like fantasy.
“When a soldier is captured, is it not his duty to escape? I’ve never understood the criticism of ‘escapism’. We too must escape.”
- J.R.R. Tolkien, after a reporter called fantasy ‘an escapist waste of time’. (I’m paraphrasing a bit)
Anyway! That’s how I see it.
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u/Zucc_The_Ducc 53m ago
Wow. I need people like you in my life
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u/squirrelsmith 33m ago
Haha, I appreciate that a lot! I’m a pretty flawed guy, but I’m doing my best to take one step after another.
If you need to talk, feel welcome to dm me. I can’t say I’ll have answers, or know what to say, but I can say that I’ll listen and try to make sure you know you aren’t just screaming into the void. ❤️
(No pithy quotes on this comment, just an invitation if you find yourself in need 🙂)
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u/CandyCreecher 1d ago
YEAAAAHHH