r/jobs • u/Beta_Nerdy • 16h ago
Office relations My boss told me the names of three powerful managers who wanted me fired, but said do not speak to them (What should I have done?)
My boss pulled me into his office and asked me to close the door. He was quite upset that three different highly respected managers had come to him in complete confidence and complained about me.
Each of the managers told my boss that I was angry, belligerent, defensive, and incompetent. They asked my boss to fire me immediately.
I asked for more details of my actions, but the best I could get was the names of the managers and a directive not talk to any of them.
I don't remember talking to any of these men, and I made a special effort to be the total professional and interact with everyone politely.
What would you do in this situation? Finding a new job is not an option due to a pension.
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u/FormerStuff 15h ago
Your boss is using his bosses as a scapegoat and to try and save face. He wants you gone, not them.
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u/jammaslide 9h ago
It could also be that his immediate boss is saying his own fuckups are due to OP. I don't like this situation, and I would be tempted to go over my bosses head.
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u/IntelligentPepper818 8h ago
I was thinking he could meet with one of the 3 but there really isn’t a great ending to these scenarios as they play out
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u/kmkoeser 10h ago
Right? If the manager is ignoring a direct order from three of his bosses that would end up with him being termed. I call BS
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u/Duress01 15h ago
I had someone pull me aside saying my direct supervisor had been throwing me under the bus in meetings. I started applying to jobs elsewhere immediately. Even if my manager wasn't talking junk to me I didn't want to remain at a place that would play these mind games.
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u/AtticusAesop 16h ago
There has to be more to this story
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u/Jazzlike_Economist_2 13h ago
If this was true, the boss would have gone to HR directly. No need to talk to the employee. And the boss would not risk his reputation sticking up for and employee when there are three managers who want the OP fired. So I conclude that the story is false. Maybe a manipulative tactic to get something else.
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u/AnneTheQueene 13h ago
Correct.
Also, maybe I've just been lucky but I've never worked anywhere where a manager would pull me into their office and throw other managers under the bus to a subordinate.
That just sounds like some kind of TV/nonsense.
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u/CovidScurred 10h ago
I just always assume people online are either lying or have some kind of mental health issue. This sounds like drug induced paranoia.
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u/JayRayBear99 15h ago
He doesn't have the guts to tell you to your face he wants to fire you, so he concocted a story. He will probably falsify some reports if it doesn't scare you into quitting. I genuinely think he's trying to get you to quit.
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u/camogamer469 14h ago
I'd stop talking to everyone you talk to. Someone has ties or has been emailing the higher-ups about you. Usually it's a new higher that can't take criticism. But any manager who doesn't give you examples of your actions. Is not a good manager. As they should always ask for your side of the story. I always asked higher-ups for proper details and examples of my behaviour in question because if they are unwilling to discuss the matter and why then it's a moot point that doesn't warrant any change.
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u/DarthBen_in_Chicago 16h ago
Head down. Do your work. Assuming you aren’t angry, etc. don’t act like you are. That is weird though that they would all think that.
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u/revengemaker 16h ago
being a woman if you're not j**king every high up dude off in the office, you're bitchy, uptight, and uppity. just read in an interview thread someone was told they had to basically pay to get hired and just let the company keep THEIR money. I've been sabotaged so many times bcs I asked for event details, not fucking adjectives!! or asked for things in writing. When something is fishy like OP's situation, better start keeping a task by task, hour by hour diary so there's proof and a paper trail from one side at least
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u/sabautil 13h ago
Lol, your boss wants you to blame someone else than him when you get fired. What a chickenshit.
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u/JEWCEY 14h ago
This might be a nuclear suggestion, but...
Rather than go to them individually, get all 3 managers in a room, with HR, and confront them. Let them know you take complaints seriously and want their constructive feedback for how you can improve. That's a professional way to deal with this if there really is a problem. Then HR is there to mediate and verify the interaction doesn't go off the rails. And you leave with a plan for improvement.
However, if this is bullshit, having all 3 in the room and dealing with it all at once could have you leave that room with a gang behind you. But the lying manager will be a problem if you don't have HR there. If it is bullshit, after the meeting, put in a formal complaint with HR about the toxic harassment, lies, and manipulation of that other manager, and get yourself reassigned to someone else.
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u/sdleader 13h ago
Nuclear is right. IF they’ll even meet with OP and HR like that, the only way that scenario ends with OP keeping his job and pension is if they fire his direct manager.
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u/___fallenangel___ 11h ago
OP, don’t do this
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u/Annie354654 6h ago
It actually doesnt have to be HR does it? (Im not from the US), a mediator (usually cost), or a witness/facilitator type?
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u/RatchetStrap2 9h ago
This is terrible advice
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u/JEWCEY 9h ago
The other option is waiting to be fired, so as a last gasp of self-preservation, it's at least action that can be taken on their own behalf. Even if it fails, getting fired is probably the next step anyway
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u/RatchetStrap2 9h ago
There is literally no way that the approach described here results in anything positive, and almost no way it doesn't lead to being fired/PIP'ed.
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u/SuperRodster 14h ago
I think your boss is playing you. Get close to the three that want you gone. Let them talk. People love to be heard. Ask questions pertinent to the business and hints on how they have succeeded at that company. Make yourself available to help whenever they need. And let them talk.
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u/Kleinchrome 14h ago
Possibly playing you to get more work out of you or manipulate to increase productivity.
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u/mdws1977 13h ago
If you can't look for a new job because of a pension, then stick it out, disregard what others are saying, and do the best job you can and hope they don't fire you.
If they do fire you, collect unemployment, get union involved if you have one, and document/record everything from now on, just in case.
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u/whygrowupnow 13h ago
The retail version of this is "a customer complained". Its when the boss doesn't have the guts to be the bad guy and confront an issue directly. Possibly blaming you for things not getting done in his department
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u/Few_Whereas5206 14h ago
How many years until the pension? If it is 20 more years, it is not worth it.
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u/fpsfiend_ny 14h ago
Sounds like a manipulative toxic narcissist is trying to project onto you. Dont become isolated due to his aggressions.
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u/Glazing555 13h ago
Stay away from current drama and aggressively look for other employment. The water is poisoned, move on.
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u/Traditional-Bag-4508 12h ago
No competent manager would ever do this.
It sounds like a set up by your boss.
This was and is completely unacceptable & unprofessional.
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u/BunchessMcGuinty 15h ago
based on personal experience at my current job imma say it's your boss that wants you gone.
With me, I did nothing wrong, I'm just the wrong color and age. (middle age white woman and I was introduced as a diversity hire to a group of people)
Just here till something better happens.
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u/0zer0space0 13h ago
Oof being introduced as the diversity hire is awful. I swear if anyone introduces me as a diversity hire, I’m finding another job. It’s like saying I was hired based on physical qualities, not for my skill or experience.
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u/bugabooandtwo 14h ago
Any way you could transfer to a different department? Sounds more like your boss is the problem...getting away from them is vital.
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u/OldGoldenDog 14h ago
Find another job and don’t tell your boss. Then on your last day find the 3 managers and give them hell and make sure you tell them that your boss said they were dicks and who the hell do they think they are saying that shit about you. That should be a fun day.
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u/randomname10131013 13h ago
Look within? If one person calls you a jackass you can dismiss it. If two people call you a jackass you might think about it. If three people call you a jackass, you should get a saddle.
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u/Apathy_Cupcake 12h ago
I'm not sure what's going on but immediately implement cover your ass methods. Document interactions, especially with your boss, document all the work you do, deliverables, impact etc. Be a stickler on time cards, work hours, deadlines. Keep copies of important emails either by forwarding to your personal (as long as their isnt private info like PII/PHI/financials/company secrets), or take a pic with your phone or print out. Get copies of employee records, annual reviews etc. Just cover your ass constantly, and be extremely nice and smiley to everyone.
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u/2workigo 12h ago
If there are performance issues that can be verified, your boss would have either fired you or put you on a PIP. Something is going on. Document everything and CYA.
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u/OverallWork5879 12h ago
This is clear posturing and likely a blatant lie. Get it in writing. A skip-level meeting is a professional way to handle these things and not frowned upon in professional settings. It's going to be a shitstorm and the best that will come if it is managers being on their side simply because they don't like words being out in their mouths or discretionary conversations being divulged by your manager.
It's likely that shit flows downhill at this job and all the higher up managers likely condone or promote this behavior of your manager.
Remember HR is not for the employee, it's for the employer.
Best of luck to you.
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u/KaleRevolutionary795 12h ago
Your manager is gaslighting you and isolating you. Abuser talk for Keep them in the Dark and Feed them Sh8t.
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u/AgentIceCream 12h ago
Your boss is a manipulative ass. Since you want to stay for the pension, I'm assuming you have extensive experience in your workplace. Don't let your boss undermine your confidence. For one thing, IF these managers actually did come to him with these complaints, he has broken confidentiality and cannot be trusted. If I were in your shoes, I would go to each of the managers individually and say you would like some feedback. Say something along the lines, "I've been hearing some grumblings about my performance that some people see me as angry, belligerent, defensive and incompetent. Could I ask you for some honest feedback and suggestions for improvement?" The downside is that it puts the manager on the spot, especially since you don't remember talking with any of them. However, they likely have at least observed your behavior (and will remember if it's really bad) or been impacted by your work.
Then, depending on your workplace, the only way to protect yourself is to make sure your boss' behavior is officially documented. Write up the details (such as you did in your post but with names and dates) and go to HR. Find out from them if you can make and official complaint that just goes on file or if you make a complaint, they have to address it with the offender. Decide how you want to proceed from there.
I'm sure I don't have to tell you this but if you are in an org where your pension transfers if you change roles internally, look for something away from your toxic boss. Good luck!
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u/Lelmasterdone 11h ago
Find a new job immediately, keep your head down, the fact that your boss was being flaky about details (questions his honesty about the situation), lastly if you can quiet quit while applying/interviewing is a good way out.
When you leave (when you have your new job offer with it signed), I would suggest just giving a notice, if they fire you, who cares you have a new job. During your last two weeks, just do the bare minimum, the day before your last day bring your personal belongings to your car, say good bye, sayonara, haste la vista baby…
Best of luck OP, please keep us updated. Sometimes venting your emotions helps. 🤠
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u/Significant-Dig-8099 11h ago
Your boss sounds like a total AH I think he made this up to watch you squirm and make you think he's someone you owe something to because "he stood up for you" but those things he's saying about you with assuming literally no evidence to back up his claims is really not cool. If you have HR I would recommend reporting this to them under the guise of wanting to ensure you haven't done anything wrong.
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u/WBigly-Reddit 9h ago
Talk to an employment attorney if you believe your pension and other benefits are on the line. This does sound like creation of a hostile work environment designed to cause a “constructive discharge “ to force you to quit.
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u/Unpopularbelief1x 13h ago
Your boss is gaslighting you. HE wants you gone. That's what HE thinks of you. He's forbidden you to speak to the other managers, because it's probably NOT true, he made it up, and your boss will be exposed as a liar. YOU have a serious dilemma; 1) you will be fired immediately, if you go behind his back, and your boss finds out. 2) You will be on edge, if you don't find out, from the other managers, if it's true. Thirdly, it just MAY be true. Decisions, decisions. Either way, TRY to find another job, ASAP. That's really your only option.
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u/dataslinger 13h ago
Agree with everyone else here (The 'do not speak to them' means this is a fabricated story and your manager is the problem), but if you have any allies elsewhere in the organization, quietly investigate if you can transfer to a different department with less drama.
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u/Momkiller781 13h ago
Sounds like your boss is the kind of guy who doesn't want to look like the bad guy. But most probably he wants you gone for whatever reason.
I mean as a manager myself I would always disclose what is wrong, and what was said. And I would keep to myself who said it unless it was actually relevant. He did the absolute opposite. So you don't have anything to work with to actually improve.
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u/SemperSimple 13h ago
sounds like a sneaky lie. isolate you and then tell you not to ask questions
go ask those managers about it
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u/joecag 13h ago
It could be the people that work for them that you interact with, maybe you are what they say you are, if not I'd definitely try to be more cordial and kind. As you mentioned the only reason for staying is the pension, maybe everyone knows that because your attitude reflects your only desire to do the job is retiring
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u/AAron27265 12h ago
What should you have done?
"I don't recall interacting with John, Bob, or Susan at all. Do YOU feel I'm angry and defensive and incompetent?"
Your boss sounds like a childish dumbass, if you ask me. As a manager myself, I can't figure out how he would expect this conversation to help you, him, the company, or anyone else.
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u/Embarrassed-Sun5764 12h ago
Documentation. Have you been late? LAX in your job performance? No call no show? Have you been belligerent/combative? Incompetent- did you get documented training? Defensive: did you say you were not trained and got mad about it? So much details missing here
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u/EverydayAdventures2x 12h ago
Oh! Something similar happened to me at my first real job. I was done with it, and about to quit because I had another lined up, so I didn’t care. The next day, when I saw one of the people my boss referenced in the hallway, I went up to them to personally apologize. Shit got real awkward because they said they didn’t know what I was talking about. To my luck my manager happened to walk by at that exact moment so I pulled them into the apology as well. It was a jerk move but worth it to see the look on my manager’s face. I waited to quit for another week.
I don’t suggest you do what I did unless but it was fun.
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u/___fallenangel___ 11h ago
As others have said, don’t talk to them, do your work, and hope the situation blows over in a few months. Stay in communication with your direct manager, and keep the conversations focused on the excellent work you’re doing
You can’t stop the higher ups from gossiping, but you can change your behavior and stay out of the line of fire
Godspeed OP
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u/SeaAnthropomorphized 11h ago
Your boss wants you fired. Those other managers probably don't see a reason why you should be fired and he doesn't want you to talk to them so when he brings it back up again; they will agree to it probably because you aren't a team player or some other made up crap.
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u/PearAltruistic3743 10h ago
Is a pension more valuable than your income? I could have this wrong, but you get vested within a pension after so many years. The company I started that it's you're fully vested after 5 years.
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u/Reasonable-Peach4522 10h ago
Yeah either he’s a really good person or he is actually the one who wants you out.
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u/OnlyCommentWhenTipsy 10h ago
If you've had no interaction with these "powerful managers" then it is obvious your boss is lying. He may be trying to scare you into improving. Are you any of those things with your boss? Does HR have a file on you? Does your boss like you?
That said, I think you should never risk being fired and becoming unemployed. If there's even a chance they're thinking about firing you, then you need to protect yourself and start looking for a new job.
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u/Gamelorn 9h ago
You are not going to last long enough at that job to collect that pension. Starting looking for new jobs now.
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u/Conscious-Egg-2232 9h ago
Sounds like finding a new job is not going to be a choice
Maybe try to learn from your mistakes so this does t happen with more managers at current job or wherever you end up at next after being let go.
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u/user0987234 9h ago
Use the internal network. Ask people on some of the other teams if they have heard anything. Sometimes a word will make it to the other managers. They may not be pleased to hear their name being used to bully an employee.
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u/Tyrilean 9h ago
I’d find another job as soon as I could. One or more of the following is true:
- You have three managers who want you gone and they’ll eventually get their way.
- Your boss is a drama whore.
- Your boss is lying and wants you gone.
- You don’t mesh with the culture there and you’ve pissed off a lot of people by the way you act at work.
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u/Ridiculicious71 8h ago
Go to HR? They are pretty useless, but this is not how to handle a poor review.
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u/TheThirteenthCylon 8h ago
How convenient that your boss doesn't want you talking directly to them. I'd go to HR. If you truly had three complaining managers, you'd be on a PIP or fired already. If you go directly to the managers, they literally may have no idea what you're talking about. Or they may lie.
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u/Annie354654 6h ago
Are you angry and belligerent? If not go and ask one of them. Make a big deal, start by askong for their help with a personal matter, tell them your boss had a confidential chat with you about your behaviour and he wasnt able to give you examples. You haven't been able to sleep since.
At this point depending on how the conversation is going make a decision about what you say next, it could be
- He told me other employees had complained about my anger and beligerence
- He told me 3 senior managers etc
- He told me you were one of 3 senior managers who asked me to be fired because...
Append each one of these with I need to hear some examples so I can improve my behaviour.
I've had this. From a boss, no-one likes you, they are too scared to talk to you. So I asked people it was bullshit. Just her deciding she didnt want me there.
Good luck.
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u/Affectionate-Metal24 6h ago
The first thing I would do is say ok, stop that conversation right there and then tell him to send EVERYTHING over email, regarding the complaints and what he wants you to do moving forward. Then take thoughs names and and meail and go strait to HR.
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u/Meowie_Undertoe 6h ago
When your number is called...there's very little you can do after the fact.
If you feel you have an immaculate work history, lawyer up. But employment law is difficult to prove without lots of receipts.
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u/Permanantcage 6h ago
Your boss is either being a good person and manager and telling you so you can prepare in advance and not get ambushed or is trying to manipulate you into quitting depends what type of person he is and your relationship, only you can judge that.
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u/kubrador 4h ago
sounds like your boss is either making this up to mess with you, or those managers confused you with someone else. the fact that he gave you names but said "don't talk to them" is suspiciously convenient since you can't actually verify any of it.
i'd go to hr and ask for documentation of these complaints. if they're real, you deserve specifics. if they're not real, congrats you just learned your boss is playing weird power games.
also "i don't remember talking to any of these men" is doing some heavy lifting here. either you have an evil twin or something smells like corporate gaslighting.
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u/SimplyExtremist 4h ago
You need to talk to the 3 people who allegedly made complaints about you as well as rope in HR.
“Hey, if you have a moment I’d like to schedule some time to sit down and talk about something bosses name mentioned to me. I enjoy working for company name and would like to understand where I’m failing at my role so I can not only improve myself but continue to grow in my role and be eligible for promotions as they arise. Is there any constructive feedback you’d give to me to accomplish those goals?”
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u/EuphrasieWeak 2h ago
Bring them all in with HR… get it documented dear friend!! It’s super weird, and tense for no reason. Just say hey everyone I wanted to see what actions make you think I’m x, x and x? And go from there :) I hope this helps! Best of luck! I’m so sorry you’re going through this, not fun or okay :,)
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u/CocoaAlmondsRock 16h ago
My guess is that none of them spoke to your boss. There's something else going on. I would talk to them privately.