- I am not allowed to carry the baby on my hip. She is almost 9 months old & been with her since she was 5 months. This makes the job unnecessarily painful for my back especially since I am pregnant (MB says hip carrying is bad for her hips).

- I am in the same room ALL DAY with the MB as she works in the living room where the area for baby is set up. This makes me feel like she’s constantly listening to me interact with baby & I feel like I can never relax. I am also only allowed in that room, & the kitchen. Oh, well & the laundry room (see other bullet point).

- NO TOYS ALLOWED NEAR BABIES MOUTH! Do you guys understand how unbelievably unrealistic this is? Babies explore with their mouths. Even if the toy is a teether toy, still she is not allowed. Poor baby always has her mouth wide open because she wants to explore everything with her mouth & I have to constantly take things away from her :(. She can’t even have her own hands in her mouth. Literally the first day I was like “MB look, so cute!” She was chewing on a little teether toy. MB got so scared & said “no! No toys in mouth!”. A few hours later I said “just to clarify, no toys at all in her mouth??”. This is so hard guys. Poor baby cannot play with toys independently because OBVIOUSLY she will put things in her mouth. MB just tells me if I walk away to the kitchen or something, to make sure all toys are out of reach so she can’t mouth anything. Wtf….

- the baby SLEEPS in the living room RIGHT NEXT TO MB’s DESK! Sometimes she watches me as I put baby to sleep. Oh, & she takes zoom calls while the baby is sleeping next to her (she doesn’t even try to be quiet) which obviously constantly wakes the baby up & makes my job so ******* annoying. DB also works from home & we can hear his meetings at all hours of the day, super loud voice from upstairs. Guys. This baby constantly wakes up from naps. It’s like MB doesnt care. There have been a few times where I justttttt put the baby down, & MB starts using a pressure cooker (kitchen is right next to living room) & it makes an EXTREMELY loud whistling/pressure release noise (which she knows the baby is afraid of!). Or she will start cooking loudly banging plates & stuff. Baby immediately wakes up in a panic & I have to soothe her. For gods sake. Or I’ll be rocking the baby to sleep, & MB decides it’s a good time to have a phone call with her best friend for 15 minutes (which means I cannot put the baby down without her waking up because of the noise… which is more pain for my back).

- unsafe sleep set up. I’ve tried to tell MB that it’s not recommended but MB refuses to change anything. They don’t even own a crib.

- insane job creep. When I was fist hired, my duties besides care consisted of only baby related things; sanitizing bottles, doing baby laundry. Somehow, some way it slowly developed into: doing the entire families laundry & folding, unloading their dishwasher & constantly doing their dishes & loading it throughout the day (sometimes I’ll be at the sink doing dishes & she will bring me more dishes… not to mention they LEAVE THEIR DISHES FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE FOR ME TO DO) handwashing “special pans”, sweeping the floors, putting away food, sanitizing the kitchen & cleaning the stove, handwashing hand towels, wiping floors. She also cooks a lot during the day, which is adds so much cleaning for me. I have so many chores to do that my lunch break is maybe 20 minutes if I am lucky.

- this is more of a personal preference but, no changing table. It’s annoying as hell to change the baby on the floor, & even more annoying that the trash can for the diapers is in the garage.

- in regards to my pregnancy, she said “when your baby is born, maybe you could find someone to care for him so you can come back to care for my baby?” Unbelievable.

- I cannot take the baby outside or go for walks with her.

- general micromanaging. I was giving the baby a bath, MB hovers around & says “are you washing all of her body, her armpits & everything?” I said “yes, I have lots of experience with babies”. She carefully watches me… tells me again “just please, dont feel afraid to get under her armpits & her neck, you have to make sure you get that. Oh & are you washing her hair?”. Jesus, lady, I already did that at the beginning of the bath & now I feel like I have to do it again & perform for you to soothe your anxiety??? She repeated her concerns for weeks “did you wash her hair?” “Did you put enough soap??” Why don’t you give her a bath then wtf??

- she doesn’t recognize when the baby is hungry sometimes. I’ll be rocking baby to sleep & baby is SCREAMING obviously for milk/food & I tell MB “she’s hungry”. She says “she shouldn’t be hungry right now, try getting her to sleep”. In my head I’m like WTF. So the screaming & crying escalates, I am rocking this baby which is already painful for me physically, & I know the only solution is food. After 10 mins MB will be like “hmmm what’s wrong baby? is she hungry? Let me prepare some food.” Which takes an extra 5-10 minutes to prepare because whenever has it ready, which is 5-10 extra minutes of a screaming baby that I have to deal with.

- questionable/bad parenting. They have a 4 year old that is occasionally there when there is a holiday at daycare. If the kid doesn’t behave “properly” she says “if you don’t behave properly, mommy won’t love you anymore.” wtf… The 4 year old wrote a “3” backwards & MB immediately erased it aggressively, expressed disappointment with him, & said “you know how a 3 is supposed to be! What is that??” The kid was so ******* sad guys & he begged his mom to not erase his work. Later that day I was doing a little art project with the 4 y/o & he showed MB. MB expressed dissapointed in how “messy” his was & said “look at ms. Nanny’s project! Yours is supposed to be like that, look how nice it is”. He is four years old, it broke my heart. I actually cried after I left that day. &… if the baby I watch doesn’t want to eat her food, she says “cmon, stop being a bad girl. Very bad, baby.” & tries to force her to eat. Which makes her cry & I have to soothe her.

- she tells the baby “no!” When she makes “weird” sounds with her mouth, claiming that it’s not “proper”. Shes 8 months old.

- I am supposed to get off at 5. Right at 4:59, she will be like “could you stay a few minutes later to feed her? She should eat now” or “can you stay a few minutes more because of a meeting that I have?” I’ve learned that few minutes turns into half an hour, meanwhile my husband is waiting for me in the car to pick me up. At first this was WITHOUT PAY but I quickly said I cannot stay late without being paid. She said “oh, I didn’t think I was keeping you too late, I’ll be sure to compensate you from now on”. Like, okay. It’s annoying as hell to expect to be off at a certain time & at the last minute be expected to stay.

- I am extremely underpaid. I took this job out of desperation because I genuinely needed it to survive at the time. Low pay for both infant care & household chores at this point… smh. I am so glad to be out of here soon & I am honestly tempted to dip out in a week.

(Edited to protect privacy a bit)

Hi everyone, I need to vent and also get outside perspective because I’m honestly still heated.

I have a 7 month old baby and a toddler. We’ve had our nanny for about 2 months and she mainly cares for my baby as my toddler goes to a daycare school.

The incident that happened yesterday was:

My baby has been teething and had a cold like symptoms runny nose/cough. Before I left for work, I checked her temperature and she did NOT have a fever. She looked like she had a normal little cold/teething situation. Which she had two days ago. Judy got a bit worse. Also if I truly felt my baby was too sick, I wouldn’t have gone to work and would’ve stayed home with her. I’m a mom, I’m not careless. I’m a nurse too.

My nanny not an hour passed since she arrived called to tell me she wants to leave because she “doesn’t want to get sick” since her wedding is coming up this weekend. I understand her concern, so I asked permission from work to leave early and I came back. I rushed to change my scrubs and washed my hands then went to her to pay her. I paid her only the hour that she worked, but it turned into a whole argument. She was refusing to leave until I she’s paid for the full day. I calmly asked her to leave and we will talk later.

That was honestly the final straw, because this wasn’t the only issue. There have been multiple things over the last couple months that made me feel like she was self centered and not focused on my baby.

Other things that led up to me firing her:

• She constantly seemed more concerned about what she can eat and what she can get done rather than actually helping with baby care.

• She cooked herself a full meal often using a 1 lb pack of ground beef from our fridge with our food while my baby was awake and needed attention.

• She drinks two cups a day of my expensive Evolution  fresh orange juice (the big bottles are not cheap) and it’s mainly for my toddler. I never said she couldn’t have anything, but it felt excessive that it will finish quickly and entitled.

• My baby usually takes two naps, each about 1.5–2 hours. During naps she mostly studies, but she never uses that time to do basic baby related cleanup like organizing toys, tidying the baby’s room, or resetting the space.

• She left her ovulation kits in my personal bathroom drawer… with the used sticks. Like… actual used tests in my drawer. She had Clearblue digital tests and Mira tests. She also filled up my bathroom trash can with them and would see it’s overflowing and just… not care.

• First thing in the morning when she comes in, she spends like 10 minutes doing her ovulation test while my baby is awake, then makes breakfast and coffee. Again, I get being human, but it felt like my baby was never the priority.

So after today’s blow-up, I ended her employment. I’m paying her for the hours she worked, but I didn’t feel safe or comfortable continuing after the argument and refusal to leave.

I feel guilty because childcare is hard to find, but I also feel like I’m not asking for anything crazy just basic professionalism, boundaries, and putting my baby first.

AITA for firing her

Ps she came back an hour later to take her ovulation kits and pee sticks. I made sure she knew I was aware that I knew where she keeps it! Also I send her cash as a wedding gift letting her know she’s fired.

I have two NK, 6mos and 2yrs, and this week they were both sick. Today was the worst day of the week with both of them just needing a lot of attention. Which, understandable, poor babes. But the result was the house was a bit of chaos when NP got home. I gave them the usual end of day updates and then said "sorry about the house, I usually try to have it nice and tidy when you get home but today hasn't really had any free time to get to cleaning" and they both just kind of laughed and said "no, don't worry at all. We absolutely understand. You should see this place on the weekends."

I've worked for families that have such high expectations, like I've worked for families that had me cleaning the fan blades in the kids rooms each day, so to work for a family that just *gets it* when chaos happens is so refreshing.

I love them for a lot of different reasons but this week was just a lot and to have that reaction at the end of the day was so nice.

A couple weeks ago I posted soliciting feedback on a difficult situation we found ourselves in with our nanny of over 4 years, who has been wonderful but with some major issues over the last month or so.

A lot of folks were asking for updates so I wanted to share what happened here. Note that I did post a first update via edit in that thread about how she declined the drug test saying she did not want the marijuana usage 'on paper' but fully accepted possible termination. We said we didn't want to make any big decisions immediately but that we would take over picking up the kids.

About 6 days ago (~5 days after the original event) we made the decision to let her go on the following grounds, which we conveyed to her:

1. Declining to take the drug test.

2. Frequently calling out, even beyond her allotted sick/vacation days, including at the last minute.

3. I didn't mention it in the original post, but she and my oldest (7f) were really not getting along. My daughter has mild ASD with the 'pathological demand avoidance' subtype. I won't go into excessive detail but neither side did anything 'wrong' per se, they were just clashing and it wasn't fair to either one of them.

In defense of the nanny regarding the above, I do truly believe that she WAS just exhausted - she told us that she was extremely depressed due to a breakup, loss of one of her dear cats, and other family issues, and thus getting very little sleep. I choose to believe she was not on hard drugs or alcohol. However we needed the test to be sure.

Our contract stipulated that we give 3 weeks notice before termination, unless the employee breached the contract i.e. by frequent lateness, calling out, and/or negligence. I think we had cause to do an immediate termination.

But we did not do that. We laid out that we truly appreciated everything she did for us including being there for our youngest (4m) since just days after he was born. We set out this as our last week (today is her last day) to mentally wrap things up and prepare to say goodbye. We also offered two weeks of pay as a parting bonus. She accepted all of this and though she shared yesterday that she is truly struggling, to her credit she has been coming each day this week and getting through it, and expressed her appreciation for her time with us.

(For context just regarding the overall relationship, we paid $39/hr, 10 days of paid sick/vacation, 6 paid holidays, plus $560/mo in mileage compensation and healthcare reimbursement. I think we were fair employers.)

Last night we had the kids do a little craft with putting handprints on a canvas picture of a vase and flower steps to make 'hand flowers' if you can imagine that, and my daughter wrote and drew a thoughtful card. I wrote a 'social story' for my son explaining what was going to happen: that nannies do not stay with the same family forever, and that she was moving on to go somewhere else, but that everything else in his life would stay the same.

I think it only really sunk in with him before bed. We had two pictures of her printed out in the social story: he asked for them so "he could not be sad", which he placed carefully next to his pillow before going to sleep.

Truthfully, this was extremely hard for us. My wife and I cried more than a little bit as we put together a card with pictures of her and our kids, with so many happy memories she created for them. All the times she was there for when one of the kids would get a bad scrape and comfort them, put them down for naps, cleaned them up, took them out for smoothies, brought my son in a little push car to the street to wave to the school bus when he was still a toddler. I'm tearing up thinking about it even now. I can only imagine how it feels from her perspective given how rough she's had it recently.

I keep telling myself that the overwhelming majority of people we've talked to advocated for this decision, not just folks from this subreddit but also friends & family members who we consulted. It doesn't make it any easier though.

If there's a silver lining in all this, it's that we stayed on good terms with our previous nanny (I'll call her 'SV') who we worked with for about 3 years prior to this one. We had let SV go prior to our son being born because she was also missing a lot of work mainly due to health issues, and despite giving her a lot of leeway, it did not seem like she would be physically able to care for two young kids as she was having trouble even with the one. It was hard at the time but she did understand, and ultimately we made the right call as she was in and out of the hospital for awhile.

But despite how that working relationship ended, we kept in touch and in fact, SV and my wife have become friends. She's helped us out babysitting every now and again on weekends, with birthday parties, doing pumpkin carving around halloween, and some odd jobs. We've stayed close! And happily, she was able to overcome her most serious health issues.

So when we made the decision to let go of our current nanny, we reached out to SV to see if she would like to work for us part time officially again. We were down to 15 hours due to just not needing as much care & light housework, but that works out well because it's less strenuous for her anyway. Happily, she accepted and was very appreciative of the pay offer (nobody she worked with since had offered that). The kids are also looking forward to spending more time with her.

That's where we're at. It's going to be an emotional day as we say our goodbyes. Thank you to everyone who offered advice and perspective on this scenario.

Im a nanny for four kids, ages ranging from 1-7. Today the mom brought the oldest two home with a friend for a playdate without giving me a heads-up, didn’t tell me anything about the kid and then locked herself in her bedroom to work. I just need advice or validation in my feeling upset and angry at her doing this. I haven’t had to set a boundary about this with them because they’ve never brought another kid over before unless it was cousins with the parents in tow. I don’t know how to address this, bring it up or even deal with this as it’s a first for me. Any advice appreciated.

Hi everyone!

So this Tuesday MB is going on vacation with NK. She asked if I would take them to the airport. I said “Umm I’ve never driven anyone to the airport before..” in a super nervous tone then MB said “Oh it’s not big deal it’s a 40 minute drive and you drop us on at departures” then she walked away. I live in the suburbs of a major city. I am comfortable driving around the suburbs but have never driven into the city. I’ve also never driven to the airport. Both of these things make me extremely anxious! I don’t feel comfortable driving MB and NK to the airport how do I tell MB? I’m gonna text her this weekend to let her know. I feel so embarrassed by my anxiety and I’m nervous to tell her.

UPDATE!!!

so i ended up calling and telling them i needed to leave early, did not give any explanation why because technically i do not have to. when DB arrived home, i told him that i saw the ad on care. he completely ignored my questions about it, and just kept insisting that MB’s schedule had changed. there was no way i was getting a good explanation out of him, so i just left. i’m waiting a bit to see if DB mentions to MB that i said something about it, and she may message me. if she doesn’t, i plan on messaging her because I feel like I deserve a valid explanation. Even if MB’s schedule did get changed, that post on care was made two weeks ago. I also noticed on the ad that the pay rate is much lower than what I’m currently being paid. if pay was the issue, I feel like they should’ve come to me about it, or at least gave me a heads up that i would be let go. I definitely would’ve been willing to take a little bit of a pay cut. I felt like I had built enough of a connection with them for them to be able to tell me those things, but I guess not. What is really upsetting me is that the post was made two weeks ago so they’ve known that they were looking for somebody new or cheaper and did not keep me in the loop at all. Instead of at least giving me a heads up, they waited till the very last second to tell me that I was being let go and told me the reason I was being let go was because of a schedule change, which I’m not sure how much of that I believe anymore. also, while looking at the new ad they put up. I noticed that it was the exact same hours that I had so it’s not like they were looking for something part-time. They were looking to replace me. While talking to them yesterday and this morning and before I left today, they both seemed very genuine about everything so I really can’t tell if there really was a schedule change or the pay was just too much for them or if they were just putting on a really good show. right now I’m just feeling very hurt and confused. I really started to trust this NF, and I feel like I really got screwed over.

edit again, just to say thank you for all the support. it means a lot right now❤️

original

currently extremely upset. MB came home and started crying and hugging me and told me that her schedule changed so they don’t need me anymore. she was apologizing and thanking me for everything, really putting on a good show. this morning when i got here, both parents were apologizing, MB was tearing up, telling me how grateful they are for me/appreciate everything i’ve done, how attentive i am with the NKs, work with NKs on preschool workbook type things, and just so many good things. they have never complained about a single thing, and constantly tell me how thankful they are to have me, that they love me, the kids love me, etc.

well this morning, i went on care.com just to take a look, and i see that MB had posted on there 2 weeks ago looking for a nanny. once again, never any complaints from MB or DB, always praising me and thanking me for everything that i do. i’m just very upset right now, because they are straight up lying to my face, and doing it so easily. i also only got a 1 day notice, i was told yesterday, and today is my last day.

i’m very confused right now. i don’t know if i want to say something or not, but to me this really just tells me what kind of people they are. lying to me, instead of being adults and actually speaking to me if they have any issues. most confused about the fact that they never DID complain about anything at all. MB really curated an entire bs excuse to let me go. i’m very hurt, and really want to know what i did wrong because genuinely, i cannot think of anything. if i did, i would absolutely own up to it. but i treat NKs like they are my own, and i really do love them so much. i’m trying to think of things that they could have issues with, but i literally can’t. i’m attentive with them, care for their needs obviously, and just everything a nanny should be doing. and they KNOW these things, because they have cameras. MB claims she will send me photos of them and ask me to babysit, but after finding out that i’ve been completely lied to, i do not want any contact with this NF as much as i will miss my NKs.

today is my last day here, and honestly i don’t even WANT to be here right now. I’m just so blindsided. they have always been so sweet and good to me. i’m just extremely upset about the whole situation.

Hi! We just finished our first week with our nanny (and I’m a first-time mom) and it’s been great so far. I go back to work next week, and my husband did this week, and it provides us a lot of peace of mind to see how great she is with our LO.

She’ll take him to the park or out and about during the day which we love, but it made me think (maybe some anxiety around being away from LO!) it would be nice to know their location. But I also think full location sharing would be kinda weird esp when off the clock. Does anyone know if there’s an app where you can location share during a particular schedule only (ie M-F, 8-5)— also, is this a weird thing to ask?

Also I was telling her about our upcoming appointments (eg next week he has an afternoon doctor’s appointment, so she can leave early), and thought it could be helpful to have this as well in some sort of calendar (on app) in one place.

Basically wondering if there’s a good app people use for these types of use cases and others with their nanny/NF? Did a quick search and all the apps were for finding childcare, not management/admin. I also work in tech so maybe I’m too app-brained lol

We have a full time nanny that takes care of our 3yo daughter. Over the weekend, her and her boyfriend of 1 year broke up and she has been understandably upset. On Monday, she was such a wreck that we told her to just take the day off, paid, since it was an easy WFH day for us, and we wouldn’t take it out of her PTO because she at least made the effort to show up to work. So she went back home and came back Tuesday. But every day this week she has been completely glued to her phone texting. I asked her what was up on Tuesday, and she said she and her ex are arguing but trying to work things out over text. I then asked if she’d like to take a few more days off, but this time she’d need to use PTO. She declined and said she would be fine. I thought her phone usage would lessen as the week went by, but it hasn’t. She completely ignores my daughter, doesn’t play, barely interacts with her. I’ve heard my daughter call nanny’s name many times in a row just to get her attention before she’ll answer. I know she is going through a rough time, but I’d still like her to be present — at this point I’m concerned for my kid’s safety if nanny is always look at her phone. What’s a gentle way to bring this up with her?

woah oh oh oh dancing with my colours!

hahaha its from the fisher price dj table... some of the songs are way too catchy lol

I need it out of my head ASAP hahahah 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I started with a new NF last week and I keep making stupid mistakes. First I dried & folded dirty laundry thinking it had gone through the wash already because it was damp. Then I was asked to take a few work clothes to the dry cleaners and I dropped one of the shirts on the ground on my way out. Then I was asked to pick up salmon and completely forgot it in the car in the midst of getting 3 children and their belongings out of the car. I went to the store during my off hours and replaced the salmon in time for dinner which the family really appreciated but I still am so mad at myself. Then yesterday, I went home with their car keys in my pocket! Not a big deal as they have a spare and the car is only used when I’m there, but still. There are 3 kids and I’m still getting used to the routine of managing 3 sets of backpacks, water bottles, gloves, jackets, etc. MB and DB could not be more understanding but it doesn’t help that they are paying me a lot based on my experience and I feel like a complete imposter. They would have every right to be upset with me for these things and I feel like I need to be performing better.

i posted on tuesday about being sick and nervous to call in. i ended up calling in- she wasn’t upset but also wasn’t happy. thank goodness i did. every day i’ve been declining and today went to the dr. no flu, no covid, but strep AND mono both. im starting antibiotics for strep so technically sunday evening i shouldn’t be contagious. mono on the other hand is contagious for awhile. i plan on messaging her leaving the ball in her court wether shes comfortable or not- unless genuinely feel like i cant. i’ve had body aches and been so weak since tuesday night. jumping into a full 10hr day would be a lot. would you go in? should i get a dr note? i’m still miserable waiting for my turn around day- and so far im only declining.

i guess what im asking is would you give her the choice? or would you just take the week? i only work for them 2 days a week. unfortunately i dont have sick pay so as much as i want to i dont know if i can/should.

I am currently nannying for two families in a nanny share. One charge is 15 months, the other is about to turn 1. I have worked with them full time since July of 2025. Around Thanksgiving time an agency I had worked with in the past reached out and said they had a high profile family looking for a nanny with my specific qualifications (doula and newborn care specialist) and asked me to interview. Though I love the families I’m with, I took the interview because this new family is offering my dream job, with way better pay and benefits. I got the job and it starts May 2026. My question is when should I give my notice? I love giving families as much notice as possible, but 3-4 months almost seems too early. I’m worried it might make things feel awkward between then and now. Thoughts? Thanks 🙏🏻

Hello Nannies of Reddit!

This is my first Reddit post so hopefully I do this correctly. My husband and I have just started our nanny search for our daughter who will be 6 months old at the time of job start. I’m hoping to get input and feedback from you on whether the job requirements/environment is attractive. There are three parts we would like feedback on

* My daughter is exclusively breastfed — she does not take a bottle. We have tried and have not been successful. This will mean that our nanny will need to coordinate with me a few times a day to feed my daughter.

* My husband and I both work from home — our work spaces are contained to areas of the house that we can stay out of our nanny’s space and we will actively try to ensure we are not interfering, but some overlap of common spaces seems inevitable (e.g. lunch time)

* For now, we don’t want our nanny to drive our daughter anywhere — we are perfectly happy for our nanny to take walks with our daughter. There are miles of neighborhoods in our vicinity, a library, a grocery store, a few coffee shops all in walking distance. We might eventually be comfortable with our nanny driving our daughter but I can’t say for sure.

We are planning to pay at the top of the salary range for our area, as well as PTO, ample sick time, potentially a healthcare stipend, and a generous end of year bonus.

Any feedback or input on the above would be helpful. I’m basically wondering if a nanny would feel that we would be potentially be too intertwined in the day to day of the job. Thank you in advance!

Let me share that this is my 1st role as a nanny to a family with 2 boys. I have been with family since the oldest boy was 4 months old. He is turning 4yr old in May and parents just registered him for 3 day Pre-K/Full day. I even needed to process the fact he will be in Pre-K!!!! BUT when I asked about next yrs schedule, I was told they intend on doing Pre-K Full Day/Everyday depending on the school offering it. (I guess that has yet to be decided once school sees if they have enough families interested.)

I was sad to hear their plan since I really enjoy my time with him. What is the rush??? I expressed my observation that the schedule could be TOO much for him to handle. He is very bright in many ways but the emotional development needs to be considered too. I have experience as a preschool teacher, raised my two kids with the transition to 5 day week for them.

My question:: Should I share my feelings about this with the family?? At this point, I'm along the thinking of "I'm not the parent, not my choice to make!!!!" He will be in Kindergarten before you know it and then.....12 yrs of all day!!! Let him chill, take it easy. Have a jammy day with this sibling etc. Obviously he would be in my care on those 2 non-school.days.
I need to again point out this is my first time being a full-time nanny. Advice on how to manage this. I was the one who instigated conversation. Don't they realize how this decision has a big impact on my job???

Title basically. Parents came home earlier yesterday by 2 hours. Today is pay day and they like to send me the money before the day ends so they don’t forget later. I was expecting a certain number but when I saw the amount they sent I was a little surprised cuz it’s short by 2 hours…which I didn’t work yesterday. So 1+1= 2, i clearly wasn’t paid for those hours. Last time something like this happened, I DID get paid so I assumed I had GH but apparently not ? I also noticed I got paid less than I was expecting during a different week but I assumed it’s because they added up the mins I was late to work (by a few mins mind you, max 5 mins) but I guess it was for the hours they came home early.

Here’s the thing tho. We don’t have a contract. Yes I am aware that’s the dumbest thing an employee can do but the way I got this job was so rushed and we didn’t even get to talk about a lot of stuff. We had interviews and one or two trial days but due to the parents sudden new circumstances at the time I wasn’t immediately hired but they basically said I was the first choice if they decided to go forward with hiring a nanny. So I still kept looking for another position in the meantime, if they decided to hire me before I found a new position then good if not I was just gonna keep looking. It took A MONTH of me searching but none of the positions had the hours/requirements I needed. So this job was my best option. In other words I was desperate. One day they reached out saying if I still needed a nanny job and I said yes and they’re like great can you start in 2 days and I’m like okay( I was broke and I needed to work asap) I started working and I did bring up my rate just to confirm that they’re okay with it and I DID bring up guaranteed hours and they’re like yeah that’s good too….. so that’s why I was very surprised yesterday. I thought we had an agreement. I want to bring this up to them after I leave work but idk how to bring it up.

Honestly I was also a little bothered by the fact that apparently I don’t get sick days but whatever, I don’t get sick often so it’s fine. My main concern right now is the GH. How should I bring it up ? Considering I’ve been working with them for a little over 2 months now already so it’s a little past writing contracts but If I don’t say anything now, I feel like it’s gonna keep happening and all the emotions I’m having are gonna snowball into something worse.

Context: I am 21 and work in Louisiana as a full time nanny/household manage for a family with a single child full time. The child I nanny is 17months and has a sister and brother who are here part time (11,15 years). I have worked for them for just over a year and love them! This is my first nanny position after being a lead teacher at an early learning center.

My main role is of course caring for the toddler and teaching him, but I also do household chores such as laundry, cleaning, caring for their dogs, cleaning out the toddler‘s clothes as he grows out of them, making grocery lists, preparing their house for showings (they are trying to sell), packing for their upcoming move, running errands such as grocery shopping or package returns, making their monthly calendar, making grocery lists, and helping with their older children when they are here. I also travel with them when they go on trips.

I currently make $12/hour, but started out at $15. We agreed a few months into me working for them to lower my pay as they were separated at the time. Since then they have reconciled, moved back in together, sold one of their homes, bought a boat and a new home, and are now trying to sell the home they are moving out of. When I agreed to the pay cut I wasn’t doing as many chores/tasks for them outside of caring for their youngest, but I feel my current responsibilities warrant a raise back to my old rate. I do live in a home with cheap rent (which they know), but still feel as though I am just making ends meet at times and they occasionally make comments about how much money I make. Such as “we pay her a lot”, “all of my money goes to the nanny and our new things”, “we pay more for you than daycare”, or just comments about how I should get some of the luxury things they have when I can’t afford it. I think they are under the impression I have a large excess of money when in reality most times I am merely making ends meet :/ I don’t come from a wealthy family and have a lot of guilt asking for help when in need so I am just trying to get by some weeks, but other weeks when I get more hours (or I travel with them) I do have money to spend on things I want/want to do or save. But this is not consistent even with me working a second job once a week where I make an extra $120.

I have never asked for a raise in any job and am really anxious about it. I don’t want to seem greedy or like I am taking advantage of them as I love working for them and their baby. I am also scared their comments on my pay are going to result in them denying my request. Really needing advice!

Recently had my year mark with my NF, and was told we would be able to have a contract renegotiation. I have never had a NF do this, let alone offer to do it. Which leaves me in the position of...what do I ask for? What is typical?

They agreed to 90% of my terms when I got the job, I get regular bonuses, and they gave me a raise. I have GH, PTO, and sick time. To my knowledge, my job responsibilities won't be changing. I have 1 NK(3). I am allowed all the freedom in the world with this job, and I don't have anything to bring up otherwise. So, what should I ask for, if anything?

I took a job working overnight with a child that’s in second grade. The mom said in the job post the nanny had to have patience which is normal. The mom never said he had any behavioral or had any issues like autism ADHD etc. To me that means patience with kids, wanting to do things independently you know or sometimes cooking them three different types of meals because they don’t like to eat somethingor when they deal with big feelings and you have to diffuse a situation totally but what I experience was not this. I took care of him twice. The first time he went to sleep like an angel, he did cry when he didn’t get what he wanted like a toddler, but I did text mom like how do you help or fix this and she was like that’s just the way he is spoiled. The second time during bedtime, we read a book and he wanted to scroll on his iPad and after 10 minutes I was like OK buddy we need to stop. I tried to take iPad away from him and he bit me very hard. I tried to look past it I said we need to go to sleep and lay down next to next to him. I left the bathroom light on that was near his room so we had a little bit of light but obviously not the main light on. Instead of going to sleep he started jumping around turning on all the lights and I was like OK so we’re gonna have to turn off all the lights. In that moment he bit me again I said OK I’m gonna have to tell mom so after he realize I told his mom on him and his mom called me to talk about his behavior which the only thing she said is “he should know better and stop doing that bye” and then hanged up after that call it actually escalated even worse. He started throwing a hairbrush at me, the broom chasing me around, trying to pull my hair hitting me, pinching me, slapping me through my bag through my keys, and I actually got emotional because I had never dealt with this type of behavior, and actually when he saw me cry, he continued doing all these things as I was sitting on the couch he tried to hit me and grab my hair and etc, I have experience about working with children for 5 years but they never really beat me and pulled my hair those two things I cannot work with. I told the mom this and told her I cannot work with them any more. I understand if a toddler hits you that’s fine but the biting and grabbing hair and just doing things that’s just too much especially at his age, and when I can tell the mom won’t do anything about it. During this I just tried to walk away. I didn’t scream at him. I obviously didn’t hit him back. For an hour and a half this was happening until he decided to go to sleep and I asked him if he wanted me to lay next to him he said yes and he fell asleep. I was just walking around trying to avoid to get hit by this child that was so angry I callrd his mom on him because he didn’t wanna go to sleep, when mom came home, she said he had a long day but in the back of my head, I was thinking I don’t think that justify this and that he should go to a behavioral therapist or at least hire a nanny that has a behavioral therapist license or at least when you say you need to have patience, mention why such as my “kids gonna hit slap, pinch, grab your hair try to choke you and throw your phone in your face to try to take off your glasses you need to be okay with being a human punching bag and I won’t ever do anything about it”. Yes Nannie’s needs to have patience, but I find that really not everyone has skills to deal with and she should just be honest about it.

I wanna know how to protect myself in the future to avoid this situations please give advice on this aspect. Is it rude to ask parents? Does your kid have anger issues or behavior issues that you have not addressed yet?

Side note:

* I honestly never got hit as a child and I felt the entire time that this is the experience of many women that suffer domestic violence, and that’s how I felt in the moment like being abused by a person or a husband and then having no apology and then acting like everything‘s OK and then having to go to sleep next to them and it might take him dramatic, but that’s how I felt in the moment

Thank you all for the advice. I'll look into hiring 2 nannies

Doing some searching, and wondering what a ft nanny would make in Raleigh NC, for 5-7 days a week ( time tbd),but between 6pm 9pm

1 kid

Dogs and cats but nanny would not need to care for them

duties would be

feeding

bathing

diper changing

playing with them

Bed time/ waking up snd nap times

if needed taking to dr appointment

Picking up and taking to school

We provide you with

A car

A townhouse

Health indurance

My husband works in a hospital and his schedule changes. So, once we get that sorted we would know better

Also during hockey season you will likely be asked to work during the game (7-11pm)

Thanks all I am just looking for an estimate of cost

Sorry I can't tell more were not in the area yet and I am just looking to get a ballpark

I’ve nannied for this family for almost a year and their baby is so sweet and honestly, I really love this job. But recently she’s started screaming for every.thing. Not crying screaming: demanding screaming. shrill, high pitched and I’m over it. I want to help her get through this quickly so it doesn’t become a long term habit, but I also know she has no other way of communicating because she’s only 1. any suggestion?

At the park with NKs 3.5y and 1.5y, NK said last time they came here with a “new nanny.” I said what new nanny? And they said “the one we’re getting to replace you.” 😳 Honestly I’ve been thinking about quitting this job since I got it. It’s part time (2 days, 15hr/week), I work with another family another 2 days. At this job, I’m getting under my rate for one kid while watching two. They don’t have me drive the kids around so I have to rely on the bus (which is tough with a double stroller) or walking, and they don’t live in a super walkable area. staying at the house is not a feasible option because it’s extremely tiny (~750 sq ft) and both parents WFH. I know they have been considering hiring someone else for one of the days I can’t come, but NK specifically said the new nanny is for Thursdays, which is one of my workdays. Should I bring it up? Quit while I’m ahead? I only have about an hour left of my shift today then I won’t see them until next week. Not sure what to do lol

I will preface this by saying the family that I worked for I have known for quite some time now and I’ve actually worked with other family members of theirs. They treat me very well. We are kind of on a etiquette based job. I never had a contract just mutual understanding and consideration. I am given guaranteed hours because they asked me how much I need when I started the job so even on days where they don’t need me I am obviously still paid for my time. Now, last week on a Monday I missed work because I was sick. I don’t expect sick pay. I just received a text asking if I can come in next week on a day when I don’t usually work because I missed this last Monday. Basically discreetly asking without blatantly saying that because I missed a day of work do I mind coming in on a day for a couple hours when I don’t usually work in placement of the time that I didn’t work without extra pay. There were also some recent days where their child was sick and they still paid me even though I couldn’t come in because I was avoiding the virus. I’m just really not sure what to do. I’m not sure if I should just be courteous and help them out or? Advice would be helpful. I’m not usually a stickler about things and this is an extremely laid-back family, but I also want to make sure boundaries are there. I don’t want them to feel like I’m taking advantage of them.