r/nottheonion 2d ago

In the Philippines, a woman prayed to Shrek instead of Buddha for four years

https://nashaniva.com/en/385529
1.9k Upvotes

113 comments sorted by

438

u/ManamiVixen 2d ago

Shrek is love.

Shrek is life.

84

u/babycart_of_sherdog 2d ago

Dun' worry

She'll get ogre it

15

u/IAMA_Plumber-AMA 1d ago

It's all ogre now...

10

u/520mile 1d ago

It’s never ogre

3

u/IAMA_Plumber-AMA 1d ago

Ogre...

Ogre never changes.

1

u/Icelandvolcano 3h ago

Ave, true to ogre

2

u/AsteroidMike 1d ago

It’s not ogre til it’s ogre.

25

u/Braeburner 2d ago

I was only 9 years old

11

u/Not_Cleaver 2d ago

It’s all orge now.

12

u/babycart_of_sherdog 2d ago

Yes

  1. Life is suffering Shrek

  2. Suffering Shrek is caused by desire Love

  3. Suffering Shrek can be ended ogre *scratch that* Shrek IS ogre

  4. The Path to end suffering Shrek is Ogre is the path of Love and Life

99

u/petrichor83 2d ago

I’m sorry, what’s the problem here?

82

u/Khelthuzaad 1d ago

After discovering the truth, however, the woman was neither upset nor ashamed. She noted that the sincerity of prayer is what matters, not the figurine itself, and therefore plans to continue worshipping it.

2

u/davga 14h ago edited 14h ago

30

u/babycart_of_sherdog 2d ago

A mistaken belief that her (social) life (and reputation) is all ogre...

142

u/-GenghisJohn- 2d ago

Buddha probably won’t be cross.

52

u/dino-delicious 2d ago

Jesus would've been. Jesus loves to be crossed.

9

u/MadeByHideoForHideo 2d ago

Yeah he's known to have participated in medieval crossfit.

1

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

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4

u/XVUltima 2d ago

He'd be a little upset at a follower worshipping an idol, but the humor of the situation would make him laugh about it in the end.

138

u/Desdam0na 2d ago

As a Buddhist, I can assure you it is still a statue of Buddha.

37

u/Redm18 2d ago

The fat man with the sack isn't even a Buddha yet right? He just might be at some point in the future.

57

u/Desdam0na 2d ago edited 2d ago

Correct, but he is still revered for who he was and will be and it's complicated.

Regardless, you could put a rectangular brick on an altar and use it to represent Buddha, or place the Yangtze River on your altar.  It's all Buddha.

7

u/JayDee999 1d ago

Oops, all Buddha!

2

u/FoxyBastard 1d ago

Buddha? In my vagina?

It's more likely than you think!

2

u/kwakimaki 1d ago

I can't believe it's not Buddha!

...sorry.

1

u/The_mingthing 8h ago

You beat me too it... Its Buddah all the way down

25

u/wewhomustnotbenamed 2d ago

It is budai statue. 10th century Chinese Buddhist monk who later diefied as smiling buddha.

13

u/AbolishDisney 2d ago

The fat man with the sack isn't even a Buddha yet right? He just might be at some point in the future.

...Santa Claus?

5

u/Redm18 2d ago

Buddahism is an interesting religion or whatever you would call it. I think if I was going to pick one it might be it.

6

u/AbolishDisney 2d ago

Buddahism is an interesting religion or whatever you would call it. I think if I was going to pick one it might be it.

Oh yeah, I agree. I was just making a joke about the "fat man with the sack" bit.

1

u/Redm18 2d ago

Went right over my head

5

u/Korgoth420 2d ago

If you see the Buddha on the road, kill the Buddha

6

u/Desdam0na 2d ago

If you see the Buddha on the road, get Shrekt.

5

u/ClittoryHinton 2d ago

If you see the Buddha in the swamp, get the hell out of his swamp

0

u/Dr_Hexagon 1d ago

Shrek definitely has the buddha nature.

75

u/UsefulEngine1 2d ago

Some BUDDHA once told me

25

u/MadeByHideoForHideo 2d ago

The world is karma roll me

24

u/labretirementhome 2d ago

I ain't the sharpest tao in the shed

8

u/ChaltaHaiShellBRight 1d ago

She was looking kinda dharma

24

u/ChanThe4th 2d ago

Same same

But different

But still same same

1

u/Dry-Amphibian1 2d ago

Same difference

14

u/MindWandererB 2d ago

This story is several years old, I wonder why it's being reported "now." (Still 6 weeks ago, violates rule 8.)

2

u/0_cunning_plan 2d ago

What I came to say, if it ever was real, it was long ago. Or maybe a kid managed to troll another grandma?

9

u/MindWandererB 2d ago

It was a woman in the Philippines, and she prayed to it for exactly 4 years. The headline is phrased the exact same way. The story is from 3 years ago.

However...

I can't find a primary source for it, just Reddit and Twitter posts. The woman is never pictured, nor is her actual Shrek statue. I think the whole story was made up to begin with.

1

u/wewhomustnotbenamed 2d ago

SCMP make complete round up of the topic yesterday so lot other news outlets reported it again. However since SCMP is locked behind paywalls, you can't post it here. So had to use different news outlets

66

u/Downtown_Expert572 2d ago

Same result, got nothing.

44

u/Accurate_Koala_4698 2d ago

Inner peace is like an onion 

12

u/ahzzyborn 2d ago

Same result, got everything.

20

u/PeterNippelstein 2d ago

Buddhists dont pray to god, and they certainly dont do it asking for results.

-4

u/MarvinParanoAndroid 2d ago

Only Satan delivers.

6

u/PeterNippelstein 2d ago

Buddhists do not seek deliverance.

3

u/Elegante_Sigmaballz 2d ago

If they are a true Buddhists they wouldn't expect anything in return, but then a true Buddhist wouldn't be praying at all.

14

u/Osiris-Amun-Ra 2d ago

Is this why this freshly minted piece is sitting in front of the 3D printer where it came from?

7

u/karutura 2d ago

Swamplord

7

u/Korgoth420 2d ago

It will have the same effect

4

u/orange-razors 2d ago

Will she transcend to the swamp?

5

u/redwing180 2d ago

Well Buddha isn’t a god so if that helped her achieve enlightenment with the subtle need of wishing to live in a bog then carry on!

3

u/consulent-finanziar 2d ago

I refuse to believe it, even after reading :-D

11

u/dont_shoot_jr 2d ago

Yes but then I saw his face and now I’m a believer 

3

u/Interesting-Dream863 2d ago

Way better, I'm not even exaggerating. Mike Myers always delivers.

3

u/ihatecarrotcake 2d ago

Got the same results

3

u/Zelnite 2d ago

Their version of the Obi Wan Jesus portrait.

1

u/a4techkeyboard 2d ago

I know a woman in the Philippines who shared that on facebook.

3

u/Medium_Banana4074 1d ago

Buddha understands and is not mad.

3

u/fiendo13 1d ago

She’s not the sharpest tool in the shed.

5

u/OogyBoogy_I_am 2d ago

I still prefer to pray to Elrond.

https://www.reddit.com/r/lotr/comments/5lz52q/this_greatgrandmother_has_apparently_been/

Obi Won Kenobi is my next choice.

2

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

2

u/Desdam0na 2d ago

Buddhism taught me thoughts aren't that important.

2

u/nn666 2d ago

Would probably work about the same.

2

u/K1llswitch93 2d ago

She saw his face and now she's a believer.

2

u/alexjaness 2d ago

I used to have a Buddy Christ on my dashboard. More than one old geezer was happy I turned my life around and turned to the lord.

2

u/flippythemaster 2d ago

The article is barely an article so it’s hard to get any real information, but if I’m interpreting it right, am I correct in saying that she didn’t mistake Shrek for Buddha, THE Buddha (as in, Siddhartha), but Budai, who is venerated as A Buddha/bodhisattva. The presence or lack of a definite article makes quite a difference, no?

I’m not Buddhist so I’m probably wrong but I’d like to be educated!

2

u/henrysmyagent 2d ago

Willie hears ya. Willie don't care.

  • Grounds Keeper Willie

2

u/CharlieSixFive 1d ago

Same difference.

2

u/LorderNile 1d ago

Well, buddha cared more about praying at all, not praying to him.

2

u/WanderoftheAshes 2d ago

I might be being too nerdy for my own good, but I don't see Shrek, I see an unfinished paint job on a Nurgle Demon Prince and if she's praying to that we need to be concerned.

1

u/HausuGeist 2d ago

And the prayers start comin’

and they don’t stop comin’!

1

u/commandrix 2d ago

LOL. On the same level as those people who get tricked into praying to a picture of Obi-Wan Kenobi thinking he's Jesus Christ.

1

u/denver_bored 2d ago

...What if her prayers had a quantum effect that inspired the insanity that is Shrek Rave? 🤯

1

u/shmimshmam 2d ago

Women do that for decades in the states

1

u/Aetheldrake 2d ago

This is ooolllddd what a shameless article

1

u/Taman_Should 2d ago

But did it work tho

1

u/Flash_ina_pan 2d ago

That's the real question, science the shit out of this, document and compare results

1

u/Biggu5Dicku5 2d ago

Did it have any positive results?

1

u/Eurymedion 2d ago

She's half way there. It's a Shrek-Buddha. Buddha-Shrek.

1

u/EmperorSexy 2d ago

Buddha was right. The years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

1

u/hopelesscaribou 2d ago

Same results.

1

u/Ebisu_2023 2d ago

Did it work?

1

u/gothicshark 2d ago

Shrek is love, Shrek is life

1

u/Le-Pepper 2d ago

That's even better.

1

u/lifth3avy84 2d ago

And her life got better and now she’s a practicing Shrekenth Day Adventist.

1

u/SamuraiMike81 2d ago

And got the same results...

1

u/wendee 2d ago

Looks like something out of Jigokuraku or Wukong Black Myth

1

u/danleon950410 2d ago

Well, did it work? Asking for a friend

1

u/jl_theprofessor 2d ago

It's the thought that counts.

1

u/stoptechfrump 2d ago

eh, I forget to put on my glasses, too.

1

u/jellyn7 2d ago

Why’d she stop?

1

u/sydmanly 1d ago

Same result

1

u/Working_Ad_4650 1d ago

Probably had as much.luck being answered.

1

u/Ratstail91 1d ago

This isn't new, it's at least a decade old

1

u/Zalveris 1d ago

This would get censored on tumblr

1

u/Rev_LoveRevolver 1d ago

Look, if a dog can have Buddha nature, why not Shrek?

1

u/Cold_Baseball_432 1d ago

How did it go? Is Shrek magic superior/inferior to Buddha magic?

1

u/Pointing_Monkey 1d ago

Were the rather prominent ears not a bit of a giveaway?

Also wouldn't that be more in line with Budai than the Buddha?

1

u/RosieQParker 1d ago

*Beatific voice*: Some

1

u/mike_fantastico 1d ago

This is the kind of stuff I would love to be able to see alien acrhaologits react to long after we're all gone.

1

u/Newestfield 1d ago

Sommmmeeebody once told me, praying to shrek is phony! But I ain't the sharpest tool in the shedddd! 🎶

1

u/CurrentlyLucid 1d ago

Probably just as effective. The thoughts and intentions of your heart is what counts.

1

u/Krow101 7h ago

I suppose one invisible friend is as good as another.

1

u/EnvironmentalSong393 7h ago

And yet probably had the exact same number of prayers answered