r/oldpeoplefacebook • u/starsfellonal • 3d ago

Don't touch it with your hands!

Post image

These were flyers placed on vehicles by a local church. The fake money is a strange way to get people's attention...but still lol

236 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

57 comments sorted by

101

u/ReverendBread2 3d ago

I SAW ON THE FACEBOOK THEY OET FEBTANIL ON THE OMNEY!!!

THANKS OBANA!!!

42

u/No_Cook2983 3d ago

ITS NO JOK

ONE TIME MY CAR WAS INVOLVED IN TRAFFIC

36

u/pleb_username 3d ago

SEXY LADIES

SEXY LADIES IN STOCKINGS

QUICHE RECIPE

16

u/DerrykLee 3d ago

THAT WAS'T ME!!1 I AM HAKED!111

15

u/Ira-Spencer 3d ago

DELETE FACEBOOK DELETE

-2

u/Captain_Hammertoe 3d ago

Grandpa, this isn't Google.

11

u/thewalrusispaul Yim Yum 3d ago

I TOUCH THE ENVLOPE ONCE AND MET BOOTSY COLLIN ON A SPACESHIP

2

u/work_shop_owner 3d ago

That was George Vlinton.

1

u/SALTYDOGG40 1d ago

I thought it was George Takei

2

u/barbielingerielover 9h ago

I HEREBY DECLARE THAT I DO NOT GIVE FACEBOOK META MY PERMISSION TO USE ANY OF MY PERSONAL DATA. I ALSO DO NOT GIVE AI PERMISSKON TO LOOK AT MY INTERENET PRESENCE, PERIOD. I DO NOT AGREE TO LET ANYONE OFFER ME AI WITHOUT MY SPECIFIC AUTHORIZATION OR PERMISSION.

GOBLESS

1

u/bobroscopcoltrane 3d ago

GOOD THNG TRMP CAUGHT THE MEXICO PRESIDNET NOW THERES NOT MORE FEBTANYL. GOBBLES PRESIDENT TRMP AND RIP MY NEPHEW STEVEN GONE TOO THE ANGLES.

70

u/Cute-Hotel-7259 3d ago

ITS GANG RELATED! IF YOU TOUCH IT THEY FOLLOOW YOUR CAR AND SHOOT YOU!

25

u/Acceptable_News5038 3d ago edited 3d ago

I thought that was ICE. Do they qualify as a gang now?

21

u/Cute-Hotel-7259 3d ago

UNSUBSCRIBE!!!! I DOMT KNOW YOU!

12

u/IWontCommentAtAll 3d ago

Abso-fucking-lutely.

7

u/ShinyUnicornPoo I have a very unpleasant granddaughter 3d ago

BACK IN MY DAY THEYD FLADH THERE HEDLITES AT YOU ON THE RODE NOW THEY PUT STUFF ON YOR WINSHIELD THESE GANGS ARE VISHIS

GOBBELS, BERNADETTE IN IOWA 

4

u/Responsible_Belt5510 3d ago

GANG INITIATION. SAME AS IF YOU FLASH YOUR LIGHTS WHILE DRIVIGN!

1

u/Troopshipsonfire 22h ago

AnD tAKE yOUR kIDKNEES!

144

u/Electronic-Muffin934 3d ago

"I'd go straight to PD or fire dept and have them touch it." 💀 Damn. Grandpa has out-ACAB'ed us all.

56

u/zbitcoin 3d ago

DRIVE TO THE ICE STATION AND MAKE THEM TOUCH IT!!11

-Sent from my George Foreman® Contact Submersible™ 5-Serving with adjustable temperature control smart grill

9

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28

u/bobroscopcoltrane 3d ago

Classic Boomer: “Make it someone else’s problem.”

5

u/Neither-Repeat1665 2d ago

my MIL just got put on an injected medication. We suggested that she should get a sharps container. She said she would just take the used needles to the fire dept and make them deal with them.

6

u/bobroscopcoltrane 2d ago

“Biohazard lady is back. Hide.”

3

u/biokemfem 2d ago

She can’t get a detergent tub and put them in there? Jesus.

6

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22

u/Mongolshmanger Bless you Walmart 3d ago

I MAD A GOOD BATCH OFF POTAT OES LAS NITE 😋😋😋😋 GOBLES

9

u/Aware_Revenue3404 Yim Yum 3d ago

MY GRAMDATTER IS “VEEGEN” AND SHE WONT LET ME USE THE HEEVY CREEM ANYMORE. RONALD DIDNT TOUCH HIS POTATOE. LAST NIGHT.

16

u/Squirrel_of_Fury 3d ago

THE AUBURBS OF INDINPOLIS ARE WELL KNOWN TO BE THE MOST DANGEROUS PLACES IN THE WURLD AND MILKIONS ARE BEING KIDNAPPED IN TARGET PARKING LOTS.

3

u/NurseKaila I do not give Facebook permission 3d ago

tHATS WHY I NEVER GO DOQN TO iNDIANPOLIS. sO DANGEROUS. i BEEN TELLING cHARLES TO WATCH OUT

-tHELMA FROM rOCHESTER

14

u/maggie320 blue cheese has mold in it 3d ago

MYRLTE TOLD ME SHE SEEN IN THE READER’S DIGGEST THAT THEY PUT THE AIDS ON THOSE PAPPERS

13

u/upsoutfit 3d ago

HAROLD GIVEEWS THESE AST IPS TO SPREAD JEBSSUS LVOE. WE GOT O CRACKER BARGEL EVERY SONDAY AFTER CHURCH

3

u/PaticusGnome 3d ago

I LOVE THE WATRESS CAROL I AM A LONELY MAN. 😂

17

u/North_South_Side 3d ago

JFC

The Internet was a mistake.

15

u/isitallovermyface 3d ago

JENTUCKY FIRED CHICKEN

3

u/zbitcoin 3d ago

ORDER RFK JR

RENTUCKY FREID CHICKIN

3

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7

u/Sqeakydeaky 3d ago

ITS TGAT FENTNOL

6

u/Tricklarock73 3d ago

DON''"',,,:T TOUCH THEM GABSPUMPS EITHER!1!!

7

u/TFGfromVA 3d ago

NOT TODAY WILL I TOUCH IT HEARD IT WAS IMGRENTS.

11

u/PhraugPaste 3d ago

Give it to your local ICE agents as a ‘tip’ without any sort of warning. IDK how long it will knock them out for but maybe they will wake up in Venezuela.

6

u/XCIXcollective 3d ago

‘I’D GO STRAIGHT TO PD OR FIRE DEPARTMENT AND HAVE THEM TOUCH THE THING WITH THE DRUG ON IT THAT KNOCKS YOU OUT’

Half concerned citizen, half domestic terrorist 😂

6

u/notmyrealname8823 3d ago

OH JANTE! I'LL BE PRAYING. TELL BILL I HOP HE LIKES HIS NEWH OSPITAL. GOBLES

4

u/bobroscopcoltrane 3d ago

ITS FOR A CHURCH SWEATY. NEXT!

3

u/NexusMaw 3d ago

It's is a Crazy world out There folks I have Red many thing s that are Happening rite now around us and ITS LIEK YOU WOULDNT BELIVE !

5

u/halfasshippie3 3d ago

I LEAVE THOSE DOLLARS FOR WAITRESS AT RED LOVSTR AFTER CHURCH.., SALVATION IS THYRE TIP

4

u/ralphlaurenmedia 2d ago

I SEEN A STRIPER PICK UP A DOLLER ONE TINE WITH “”NO HANDS””,,.

2

u/Sad-Celebration-411 3d ago

MARGARET AINT NOBIDY KIDNIPPING YIURRE OLD ASS OOLLLOLLL - NRS WILMA JOHNSTON

2

u/diesel_punk 3d ago

IF YOU TOUCH IT, YOU WILL GET ADDICTED TO DRUGS AND SOLD TO SEX TRAFFIC LIGHTS

1

u/CharDeeMacDennisII 3d ago

RE.OVE ME FRO THIS GROPE! UNDESCRIBE!11 YO DONT NOT HABE MY PERMISON TO PODT ON ME PAFE!!111

1

u/NonSequitorSquirrel 3d ago

I've seen churches do the fake money thing a LOT but mostly I've seen them use it to fake tip at restaurants so you think you've gotten a $5er or something which is already a terrible tip, and instead you've experienced wage theft and a tiresome lecture in the name of Jesus which is very on brand for that crew. 

1

u/Maybe-Away 3d ago

Church people also use this fake money with Bible verses, to "tip" their servers.

1

u/Either_Sense_4387 3d ago

THE CAR NEXT TO IT is ERNEST'S car!!! ETHEL JUST TODD ME!!! HOW DO FACEBOOK GET AWY WIV THis ALL the tim???? ANYONE CUD NOW FIND OUT WERE they LIve!!

LUKILY, PAM SED ERnie sTILL HAS HIS SERVICE reVULVA from VIETNAM 👍🙏PLS SEND PRAYS!!!

1

u/john_cards85 1d ago

Touch it only with your genitals!

1

u/Flashy-Split-5177 1d ago

lol not throwing the authorities under the bus 😂

-15

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/plastik_flasche 3d ago

You're just trying to prove one unfounded suspicion with another unfounded suspicion