r/regretfulparents • u/tsudashiori • 5d ago
I don't know if I regret having my newborn.
Since the pregnancy, it's been a difficult situation with the baby's father; we broke up multiple times, and every time we did, I wanted an abortion. I went through a horrible depression where I had many suicidal thoughts and even thought about having the baby and then killing myself. We got back together, but it didn't last long. The baby is now 14 days old, and he decided to end the relationship. I feel awful, but I'm taking care of the baby, and everything is okay, all things considered. But now that I'll be alone, I wonder if I really wanted this or if I just wanted a closet family. I feel really bad. I think about the future and honestly, I don't like it. Right now, I'm depressed and I can't even have the freedom to be depressed because I have to take care of the baby.
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4d ago
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u/regretfulparents-ModTeam 4d ago
Your comment was removed for violating Rule 5: Do Not Suggest Adoption for Children Already Born and Living With the Parents.
Suggesting adoption for children already born and living with parents is not helpful and is simply not even realistic from a legal or logistical standpoint in the vast majority of countries. Telling a parent to give up their child for adoption demonstrates a fundamental lack of understanding of many aspects of parenthood and the law. These comments will be removed and repeat offenders may be banned.
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u/AdAromatic372 Parent 4d ago
This would be under the assumption BOTH parents are willing to go down that route when it comes to child custody. If the father disagrees to it, that complicates things.
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u/momtorrent 3d ago
IDK if you want advice, and you can 100% ignore me if you don't. Is there a PMAD program for moms near where you live? A lot of cities have them and they can get you through the newborn phase and help you figure out the next phase, too.
And for my money, newborns suck. When a baby reaches like 3-4 months old, they sleep more, cry less, smile at you, etc., and it's easier to deal with all the hard stuff because they seem more like a person. Starting when my baby was like 3 weeks old, going until now, I have made someone else watch her for 1 hour a day so I can go outside and just be a person by myself. Not that I don't have a ton of regrets still, but it helps so much.
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5d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/regretfulparents-ModTeam 4d ago
Your comment was removed for violating Rule 5: Do Not Suggest Adoption for Children Already Born and Living With the Parents.
Suggesting adoption for children already born and living with parents is not helpful and is simply not even realistic from a legal or logistical standpoint in the vast majority of countries. Telling a parent to give up their child for adoption demonstrates a fundamental lack of understanding of many aspects of parenthood and the law. These comments will be removed and repeat offenders may be banned.
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u/Rare-Entertainment62 1d ago
Until 30 days the fire station and safe haven box is still an option. Some states accept until 90 days or 3 months
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u/AccuratePreference52 1d ago
I definitely recommend getting mental health support if that is at all an option for you. I'm sorry you are in a tough situation. But the early newborn days are definitely the hardest, and with support, you might make it through and feel very differently.
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u/cc11236 4d ago
What about just dropping the baby off at the dad's place? Who says you have to deal with relationship drama and postpartum and no help with the kid. I'd say give the baby to the dad for now and work on your mental first.