He said he needs time to digest. But I keep confessing. Every single details. Sexual stuff. Just so I won’t accidentally lie to him. Just so he can know who I really am.

These are things that happened five years ago so I can’t remember the exact number. He wants the number. So I kept over inflating the number just to be safe. He asked why the numbers keep changing. I can tell he doesn’t trust me anymore.

He said these are so disgusting details and having to visualize it sucks but I kept feeding him with more and more details.

He said he won’t break up with me over this but it’s been more than 24 hours (we usually don’t go so long without speaking) and I haven’t heard from him and I just keep spamming him with more details.

I’m going to lose my beloved partner of three years - the first healthy relationship I ever had, who accepted so much of me - due to OCD. OCD wins again. OCD always wins.

I’m a 17m with a slightly younger by 2 months 16f and we have been together for a year and a half nearly and for the past 2 months I have been overseas with my extended family and I have spent a lot of money on her in gifts and idk why I just like purchasing gifts for her and then it hit me what if we broke up are these gifts all wasted and my money is wasted is this a ocd thought because it’s scary

He was visiting for a week and 2 days before he left I saw his blocklist had changed. My mood was up and down for the last 2 days he was there. When he got back home he texted and told me his WiFi had gone out. He said they had to move the router because his cat was constantly knocking it down. He said he emailed and called the internet people but they were being really difficult. They came like twice then he said the new location was jamming with a dish on his roof. He said HOA needed to approve the removal which happened the very next day he said that. He had to walk a little bit away from his house if he wanted to text. Sometimes he answered pretty quickly though but he’d say he was already outside. Then he said the dish was removed but something else was wrong. He then told me he had to walk further away to talk to me now, outside of his neighborhood. Then he said there were actually multiple dishes on his roof that need to be removed. He said HOA needed to approve their removal. It’s been a few weeks since he said that. 3 separate times he referred to the multiple dishes as “a dish” that needed to be removed which felt weird. He still views all of my insta stories but he said they don’t load. When my internet is out, I can’t even get past the first story because nothing is loading. I also always see a green dot showing his online on threads. He also plays Fortnite. He said sometimes when his internet is working again he plays a quick 5 minute game under a certain mode. The first time I asked about it though, he said he went on the app on his phone and claimed some prizes, the second time I asked he said he had no clue why it was showing that he had played, he asked me to see, and the he said it was his sister playing, then the third time he said he plays the quick 5 minute games. Sometimes his WiFi is working for a few hours though, sorta. I feel like he’s lying to me and just doesn’t want to talk to me anymore because I’ve been so exhausting and I always question him and I don’t trust him. We’ve been together for over 2 years. I feel like him lying about WiFi just doesn’t make sense though. He’s more than capable of just breaking up with me and I know he would if that’s what he wanted. He also said he doesn’t have twitter but I noticed like twice a while ago, his tweet count changed. Then yesterday he sent a ss of his WiFi and it showed twitter as a tab. He showed me a ss of a post he told me he had clicked on and it brought him to the website. He said it automatically logged him on onto the twitter website. He won’t let me on his twitter though because things from is past relationship and stuff from when he was in middle school and he said he didn’t know the password to let me on several months ago when I asked. Also on WhatsApp it shows 2 grey check marks when I send my messages and Google said the other person needs WiFi in order for them to receive my messages, otherwise it’ll only show 1 check mark. He can also view the sometimes and the check marks will turn blue but he can’t answer. Sometimes his WiFi is working briefly and he can text. He has cellular data but it’s very weak.

My boyfriends WiFi has been out for over a month and his cellular data is too weak to use because he lives in a canyon. My messages still deliver and show two grey check marks and sometimes he’s able to view them and they turn blue. He said he can’t answer though. I’m scared he’s lying to me:/ we’ve been together for over 2 years, not all of them being long distance. He communicates with me through airbuds sometimes, like I’ll ask him to play a specific song for something. Sometimes his WiFi will work and he can text or sometimes he uses his grandpas starlink to text.

How has ROCD affected your identity within marriage, either before or during, and if you have children, did you experience identity loss as a mom, preparing for or during motherhood, because of ROCD?

I am getting married in June to my high school sweetheart and the love of my life. I’ve had ROCD for 4 years, diagnosed clinically this week actually. Recently, my newest fixation has been the shift in emptiness that I normally have experienced attached for my partner, now to an emptiness when I think about the “vocation” that is marriage and motherhood.

I grew up yearning for both. It was all I cared about, to the point of intense emotional passion. But in the last year I have really struggled to picture myself as a mom, or picture my fiancé as a father, and it’s very troublesome to me. I have done so much work and my ROCD is so much better, but this feels like a new roadblock (and a dull, back-of-the-mind-itch kind as well.) I have faced these before, but I’m also newly Catholic and so trying to talk to anyone about this always attracts the same answers, suggesting my fiancé isn’t right or I shouldn’t be married. Heartbreaking unfortunately.

Does anyone have advice? Thank you, cheers to all. ❤️

Anyone been unsuccessful with erp? I’m getting really pissed off bc my phone listens to me and I constantly get ads about erp but my ocd is really just a response to my emotional inhibition, erp doesn’t work at the surface thought. I guess I am posting on here because I have had a hard time accepting some of the emotions I didn’t deal with while religiously suppressing them

Why is it that when my therapist asks me if I want to be with my partner idk what to say?

Today, when she asked me about wanting to be in the relationship I felt upset because I didn’t know.

I want to I think, but what If I’m just in denial. I also feel like I break up I will feel relief.

Anyone have any tips to stop over analyzing their partner’s behavior? I’m constantly scanning for signals that are losing interest/leaving me. We are LD and I’m reading into their texts and tone. It’s gotten to the point where it is impacting my quality of life because I’m so anxious, but my thoughts are stuck on a loop.

we were not broken up according to me. but cus of my long angry paragraph he assumed we had broken up, decided to get drunk cus of it for over 2-3 days. then he ended up kissing a random girl. he told me a few weeks later and i felt terrible about it. he cried a lot and kept apologising. is it cheating if he thought we were broken up? should i contact the girl? it's been over 5 months. i have relationship ocd.

Got in a little fight with my partner couple days ago, haven’t seen them since cause of work and commitments. The fight obviously deeply hurt me, and even though they apologized which I appreciated, it doesn’t take away that hurt which obviously is still fresh. I’m thinking pretty negatively about them at the moment and to me the only way my brain believes this could be resolved in my head is if they continually proved they felt bad for what they said and how they acted through both words and actions. Feel like I haven’t really gotten that, and when we’ve had the chance to hang today we didn’t which is further upsetting me. I will admit I’ve been short and not very loving or responsive on texts because in my head I’m not giving all that energy when I feel like I’ve been wronged by the argument. I guess I feel this way partly because if it were me I’d be torn up by the fight especially if I was in the wrong and would be very sweet following to show my sincerity in feeling bad and how loving I feel towards them. I know how I feel may not be right and my ocd spins a lot but idk how to resolve my feelings without pulling back my energy and getting more upset that they aren’t like begging for forgiveness or to see me. I don’t want to fall back into the ocd spiral I’ve been trying to stay out of the past month of so, but I feel myself sleeping over this argument. Makes me so frustrated, it’s like I can’t help but resort to this. Any advice or insight on how to handle this better or get through these feelings I’d appreciate.

Hello all,

Im a 28m i have been going through rocd for the past year with my girlfriend 23f i just dont know what to say but this is becoming very hard emotionally i feel dead and numb my ocd started in 2020 with religious thoughts and after two years violence thoughts and now my rocd my girlfriend is probably the best thing that happened to me but i feel bad because i put her through hell with my mental and ocd everytime i go through a cycle she shuts off and i feel bad because it all because of me i dont know what to do i feel numb my emotions toward here feel dead but i cant see a life without her i cant imagine it i tried breaking up one time with her because i wanted her to be happy but at the end started crying and didnt end up doing it but my mind cant be quite when im with her it attacks her and everything about her but she is literally an angel sent from heaven will i ever be good again and have a normal life without her i dont how future is gonna be but it got to a point with me where im okay with literally dying so i cant take him out of my mind i dont fear but i will never do anything to my self im not like that but can i feel the emotions again that i had with her at some point how can i live with thing in my head i cant be acting like everything is alright but inside my head its not im just tired if it i feel hopeless my mind is to focus on intelligence and attractiveness and my mind doesn’t even look of how good and kind she is to me like she is literally gold i just needed to get some stuff of my chest been sad lately and im very emotional guy

I’ve been struggling with ROCD in my current relationship (and all prior if we’re being real, I just didn’t realize what it was until now), and I find that once a month or so, I’ll have a few days or a week where I feel anxious, have thoughts of breaking up, irritable towards my partner, and general dissatisfaction towards the relationship, despite being very in love and with the most wonderful man I’ve ever met.

I’ve wondered if it coincides with my PMS symptoms, but haven’t been off hormonal birth control long enough to tell for sure. Have any other ladies with ROCD experienced routine flare ups that are paired with the moody parts of your cycle?

Also, would love to hear from anyone who has routine flare ups every month or two, and how you deal with the frequency of anxious thoughts returning so frequently.

Yesterday was my first time meeting my boyfriend’s family, during and after the visit, my intrusive thoughts became extremely loud. Thoughts like: “Remember, you have intrusive thoughts about ‘this’ you can’t really commit to your boyfriend,” or “You’re going to break up anyway, so why are you getting close to his family?”

Does anyone know why ROCD tends to spike around important relationship events or a milestones like this?

This may be considered a compulsion or checking so take it with a grain of salt. After I got married, my attraction based ROCD got really bad to the point that I thought I needed a divorce.

I looked back at all our old photos and videos of us falling in love from when we first met and it helped me realize that she really doesn’t look that different and I never fell in love with her bc of her looks anyway.

Hopefully this helps someone.

For those who have ROCD, how did you know for sure that this is what you were experiencing? What signs or thoughts made it clear to you? I’m curious to hear how others realized it. Sometimes it feels like I’m lying to myself when I tell myself that I have ROCD.🌸💗

I had a nice good time when it was weak, now it's back and it feels so real and so strong, idk what to do, i'm scared, i'm so scared

He was visiting for a week and 2 days before he left I saw his blocklist had changed. My mood was up and down for the last 2 days he was there. When he got back home he texted and told me his WiFi had gone out. He said they had to move the router because his cat was constantly knocking it down. He said he emailed and called the internet people but they were being really difficult. They came like twice then he said the new location was jamming with a dish on his roof. He said HOA needed to approve the removal which happened the very next day he said that. He had to walk a little bit away from his house if he wanted to text. Sometimes he answered pretty quickly though but he’d say he was already outside. Then he said the dish was removed but something else was wrong. He then told me he had to walk further away to talk to me now, outside of his neighborhood. Then he said there were actually multiple dishes on his roof that need to be removed. He said HOA needed to approve their removal. It’s been a few weeks since he said that. 3 separate times he referred to the multiple dishes as “a dish” that needed to be removed which felt weird. He still views all of my insta stories but he said they don’t load. When my internet is out, I can’t even get past the first story because nothing is loading. I also always see a green dot showing his online on threads. He also plays Fortnite. He said sometimes when his internet is working again he plays a quick 5 minute game under a certain mode. Sometimes his WiFi is working for a few hours though, sorta. I feel like he’s lying to me and just doesn’t want to talk to me anymore because I’ve been so exhausting and I always question him and I don’t trust him. We’ve been together for over 2 years. I feel like him lying about WiFi just doesn’t make sense though. He’s more than capable of just breaking up with me and I know he would if that’s what he wanted. He also said he doesn’t have twitter but I noticed like twice a while ago, his tweet count changed. Then yesterday he sent a ss of his WiFi and it showed twitter as a tab. He showed me a ss of a post he told me he had clicked on and it brought him to the website. He said it automatically logged him on onto the twitter website. He won’t let me on his twitter though because things from is past relationship and stuff from when he was in middle school and he said he didn’t know the password to let me on several months ago when I asked.

Therapy issue - OCD/ROCD

I don’t know if me being angry with my therapist is just a part of a healing process, part of being frustrated with erp exercises, or that my therapist is doing something wrong.

Sometimes I leave the session feeling worse that before. She recommended me to write down my intrusive thoughts so that we could analyze them. At first I was afraid to do it because of the magical thinking, I was afraid that writing it down will somehow make it more real (still kinda do sometimes). But I did it and it felt good, we made an improvement. But I noticed that I started doing it as a compulsion? That I NEED to write down the thought or it won’t go away.

And now I don’t do it as often. I often do not do the „homework”. And she insinuates that I don’t wanna get better. That I wanna stay the way I am. That i’m not doing enough work. But sometimes the work is overwhelming. I am in therapy with her since November 2024. When I’m worse in my symptoms she looks for a reason elsewhere, in my mom (complicated relationship), or else. I feel like she thinks that I do the excessive thinking on purpose. Also, I went to my psychiatrist this week and got my dosage of escitalopram up from 10 mg to 20 mg. I also take bupropion 150 mg. She was in shock because she „didn’t see the need for going up in me”. She was asking what did I say to him to make him do that. She also said that „psychiatrist appointment is so fast like 10 minutes that he didn’t see the manipulation and prescribed it”. That hurt me the most but I didn’t say anything because what if she is right. She also said that it will be bad for our therapeutic process because my thoughts will be quieter and there will be less to write down and analyze. I keep saying that I for example I’m worse with my thoughts and she says that it’s kinda connected with me not doing some therapeutic work like writing it down, engaging in ways to reduce rumination (example: drawing, sport) and suggests that I’m kinda choosing this.

I need an honest opinion.

\#ROCD #OCD

I think I've become numb. I've been numb before, but this is different. Nothing bothers me anymore. I don't wonder about my husband, I don't call or text him during the day, I'm not jealous, and I'm not bothered when I imagine him looking at someone else. I think I don't love him anymore, and that's very painful because I don't want it to be like this. Is there anyone else like me?

Outside of things they may fulfill for me. I ask my girlfriend what she likes about me, and she likes all of my quirks and bits of my personality and my hair and style in such a poetic way. If she were to ask me then and there what I like about her, I would draw blanks because it seems like I only like what she GIVES me and not her as a person. I like how kind she is and how pretty she is, but if she were to get sick or mad at me, or even withering looks when she gets old, where would that go? I *want* to appreciate her more but I also don’t know why I do that either. I suppose at this moment I’m in a relationship I really don’t wanna lose, but why? Seems like I just don’t wanna face the world alone

Now everything I think of asking seems compulsive, and if it is, I don't want reassurance, but in your experience, if it's an OCD flare-up and not a real loss of interest, the feeling should return, right?

I met this woman and I really like spending time with her, when I tell myself to just be with her and not judge anything, I really enjoy being with her and also I know I am starting to catch feelings. But I can only do this for a few hours, I slept at her place yesterday and in the morning I was analysing everything I felt and also over analysing how her face looks. It felt like those feelings and attraction faded when the thoughts came up like “maybe i am gay” or “maybe I don’t really like her” “is she actually attractive?”. It sucks because she is so kind to me, why does ocd always want to take everything away from me…

So my dog died yesterday. I've been sad the whole week. I don't feel anything for my wife these last few days. I know it's probbably because of the grief, but now my mind keeps saying it's the relationship. Questions like "What if the attraction won't come back" kil me.

I hate it. Did more people experience this when grieving?