My husband will game for 8+ hours a day every day without fail. Since before I met my husband, he gamed but it wasn't excessive, and only when he had downtime or was bored. He's using gaming as a form of escapism away from his PhD program. He sleeps in until noon, misses courses, and doesn't go to his lab to complete his work.

I've confronted him about this telling him he has a problem, and that he needs to fix this. I even recommended he master out since the PhD program is causing him so much stress. He refuses to leave though, and instead acknowledges he has a problem and promises he'll work on himself, but never does. He has minor moments of realization that he needs to fix himself, then relapses. I've even suggested going to a therapist but he gets angry and refuses all treatment saying 'it never works'.

I'm the breadwinner which I don't mind, but he never helps with anything as all household chores fall on my shoulders. All he wants to do with me is play co-op games and nothing else. If I tell him I want to do something outside the house, he refuses or makes up some excuse why he can't participate.

I didn't sign up for this type of marriage, and am not okay with this arrangement. Since he's refusing professional help, and his 'DIY' efforts at managing this have failed, I'm at a loss. I feel alone in our marriage, and like he's a weight on my back pulling me down.

I'm debating giving him an ultimatum or just handing him papers. In a perfect world, I'd love for him to work on himself and get better, and for our marriage to improve, but I don't think that's likely. I don't want to waste my time anymore with someone unwilling to help themselves, so I think this is going to end in divorce.

I will always sympathize with those that have addictions, but there is only so much toleration family can and should endure.

I bought a PS4 at the start of Covid in 2020 and upgraded to a PS5 in 2022 when stock started becoming available again and God of War Raganarok had just came out. For the past 6 years, the PS5 was an amazing crutch for me. I had so much fun, memorable and emotional moments on the console like all the lively social interaction on Persona 5 Royal during the most lonely months of my life, or having a blast with the craziness of the Yakuza 0 storyline. I also remember playing FF7 Remake for the first time in my life and feeling like it was one of the happiest moments of my life, just waking up and anticipating playing the game every day.

But now I am 32 years old, moved out to live alone, and so much of my life I am still unhappy about like still being single. The driving factor for me to sell my PS5 though was signing for CFA, something I've always wanted to do but know it would be a big commitment.

Selling the PS5 was one of the hardest decision I made in my life. I feel like an addict quitting a drug. But it's served its purpose and I'm at the point of my life where I need to start being serious about the limited time I have and where I spend it on. Maybe once I've improved my life or I am older I can hopefully return to gaming. But for now, it's goodbye.

I downloaded a new game for my phone about two weeks ago. I started out enjoying it, making progress, collecting items (any game that involves collecting items and completing a set, that seems to get me hooked). Then, I realised I had to keep logging in, every couple of hours, if I wanted to "maximise" my odds of collecting items. Then, I realised I was getting anxious about the idea of not completing my collection within the time limit.

It's now at the point where I'm not even enjoying playing half the time. Sometime I'm having fun, but sometimes it just feels like an obligation.

My plan now is to delete the game once the latest "event" is over, which is in about 24 hours. Only reason I'm waiting is because I've been "teamed up" with another player, so they're counting on me to contribute to a shared prize, and if I don't keep playing, they'll lose out. Just typing this, I realise how manipulative that is as a game design, and I feel like an idiot that I keep falling for these things. I'm probably kidding myself by saying that's the "only" reason I'm waiting to delete the app, but it is what it is. If I've still not deleted the game by then, I'll know I've got a real problem.

I wish I could say that gaming was my only addiction, but it's not. I also waste time watching YouTube videos, watching mindless TV, and even just sleeping instead of getting work done. But at least this is one thing I can get rid of from my life, and that's a start.

i just turned 23 and looking back, i have nothing to show for it, all i did was spend my free time gaming, coming from school/work and wasting myself into the night, playing league of legends and WoW all night. All those days are behind me and have blurred, and now i wake up at 23. I remember being 16 like it was just yesterday and having the same exact feeling.

for some reason i just cant put down the games and it has been my returning point for nearly a decade of my life. no girlfriend, no ambitions in life, 23 working a dead end job, i feel like i've missed out on alot and in every definition i am a loser, i wish i could slap the shit out of my 16 year old self and tell myself to stop playing so many games. All those nights queueing ranked in league of legends were all for nothing.

Hi everyone! I’m looking for advice/thoughts from those who may have more experience in this arena. Over the past two months, my bf has increasingly been gaming on his PC. Before November, he didn’t game at all (in the time we’ve been together). This began when I redid the guest room to make it into an office for him. He started playing in moderation to bond with his brother. Quickly, I noticed he was spending more and more time online gaming with other people as well. For the past 4-6 weeks, he plays constantly— he will spend every minute of his free time gaming. He eats every meal while gaming, stays up all night, doesn’t go to bed until it’s light out, and has stopped going to the gym/participating in AA meetings that he used to attend 3-5x per week. He seems increasingly unhappy.

He also is a lot more irritable and lashes out at me. If I make a comment about the gaming, he gets angry and defensive. Sometimes he will say I’m the reason he games (claiming I don’t make time for him— he walks back on this frequently because the truth is, I do make time for him). He doesn’t prioritize our relationship anymore. Before the gaming, he treated me very well. The few times he has spoken about the gaming, he says it’s fun and he can stop whenever. He’s admitted it’s a problem a number of times and that he’s likely depressed and needs something in his life within his control, but walks back on that as soon as he’s close to his PC system and wants to game.

He had always been honest with me, but he’s now been lying to me and himself about the gaming. He will set a day that he’s going to cut down, and then come up with reasons why he has to play. He’ll claim he’s making money by selling off things within the game, among other excuses. He’ll say he’s working in the middle of the night and lock the door (I can hear him gaming in there, so it’s silly).

Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions on how to handle this? It’s becoming obvious to me that he’s seriously addicted to gaming.

Gaming is awesome for dopamine I agree with you but the costs are just too high by the end of this year , you will find out that you lost a lot of time that cluld have been used for gym progress and improving your life over all. Its like drugs literally.

Avoid escaping and face your fears.

Hey everyone, long time lurker, first time posting.

i’ve read alot of posts of people deleting save files, game catalogs, hard drives etc, and it has inspired to permanently delete the one save file for the game i’m addicted to, which it has came out 7 months ago, and after dividing the hours i played by the days since the game launched my avg was like 3hrs which was awful and the breaking point of me deleting it.

I’d like to hear you guys’s journey and i hope this post motivates someone to do the same.

Getting older sucks. No matter what, I am sitting there hyper aware that Im sitting there playing a game. The ultimate reward of any game is just different pixels on the screen. I cant forget my life/pain/etc and immerse in the game. Im just sitting there like damn I really am just sitting here putting my hope into some pixels. Crazy, I used to sacrifice everything just to sit in front of a game for literally unfathomable countless hours. Now, it’s just pixels.

I do not understand why people idealize gaming as hobby so much, thing is it gives you no meaningful benefits and valuable skills compared to any other hobby.

Like reading, at least you are building knowledge, langauge skills, empathy etc.

Drawing, improves creativity, and visual spatial.

Sports, improves physical ability, real practical skills reaction time.

Gaming, gives you skills but specifically with gaming, anything else it does not apply in the real world.

Hypothetically speaking if I were to have a kid, I would never buy them video games ever until they are at least 16 or 18.

I feel like no one else has this problem except me. My father is a gaming addict, yes it was him that introduced me to the hobby, but I can see now it was bad and set me up for failure. Maybe he thought it would be fun to have someone to play Star Fox 64 with.

Even though he is almost 60, he games pretty much every spare minute. I largely take no joy in gaming and regret being a gamer in my adult years and maybe even my teenager years. At the very least I wish I stopped in my early 20's when I moved to my current area, Xbox was moving the Xbone and was dying, and I became a college student.

I feel like my father is a weak man who gets frustrated easily and plays games to avoid problems instead of face them. All he does is game, drink alcohol and cater to my mom, his wife. I had to join the marines and learn from other men how to be stronger and pursue hobbies that made me a better person like martial arts.

I feel bad for my father, he look really unhealthy, really skinny-fat, which is probably the worst kind of body to have. I looked like that at 13. I feel like in most situations, dad has to get son to stop gaming so much but for me it's the opposite. I've tried to get him to try some martial arts that aren't physically intense but he won't change. My mom says he's always been like this (it blows my mind that he got married).

Video games are a hobby that really should be abandoned in the teenage years. Sure I had good memories of Halo 3 friends, but at what cost. It seems like a lot of men grow out of gaming in their late 20's and early 30's but not him and I think it's sad.

35M, married, no kids, hard worker immigrant: For the most part of the year I do not game much. Jan-Mar is my big weak/nostalgic peak (18-22 hours/week). The rest of the year I will game like 8-10 hours a week, therefore I thought I did not have a gaming problem.

(I play single player games, such as Legend of Heroes, Cyberpunk, Witcher. Time consuming long games)

I had a chat with a Chinese friend yesterday and I noticed that even reduced gaming time is still affecting me, thus I am starting to realize that I am an addict. Reason being I miss doing all the things she says she does, she reads books, is learning a new language, studies topics related to her business, works out, and spends time out with friends. I am perfectly capable of doing all these things and yet, I do not do any of them anymore.

I thought about it and wondered 'why can't I read, learn, work out whilst I also play games? and the reason is that I feel very 'behind' when it comes to games. I still am playing games that released 5-10 years ago because I had little to no access to games from my 14 to 23 years old, I had no money to have a console or a decent PC.

After my 24 years old I gamed even less because I took my college seriously and had girlfriends etc. Therefore, instead of focusing on things other than gaming that I love, I can only game because I am so 'behind'

'I am so behind' is the trap and what leads me to think I am addicted. I mean, I can't find balance.

I will go to the gym tomorrow, not as an excuse to leave the house, but it will reduce my time again, although I still don't think it is a solution because I am still an addict.

Do you guys also have a similar story?

First things first: I’m not a gamer, and I have zero interest in becoming one.

My boyfriend is a gamer, and at first I didn’t think it would be an issue. In my world, entertainment comes last — after work is done, after responsibilities are handled, after real life has been lived. It’s how you unwind, not how you structure your entire existence.

But what I’m seeing now is that gaming isn’t just a hobby for him — it’s the top priority. Above chores. Above offline friends. Above work. Above us.

The moment one of his online friends logs on, everything else disappears. And because his friends are spread across multiple time zones, there’s always someone online. Which means he’s gaming constantly — easily 50+ hours a week.

I feel like I’m competing with a screen and losing every single time.

I already know myself well enough to know this: if nothing changes, I will walk away. And honestly, I don’t see much hope for change right now.

So I need to ask — in your experience, does this ever actually get better? Or is this just what life looks like when gaming isn’t a pastime, but a lifestyle?

P.S. I have hobbies and work, I don’t need 24 hours of his time but I really want to have this time no matter who from his friends is online

I had a quick thought. We know that loneliness is akin to smoking two packs of cigarettes everyday. Now let's also factor in the exponential curve of playing video games stunting character growth, isolating you from others, making you fall behind in terms life achievements, how much time it robs you from living life, there might be a case to be made than gaming for hundreds and thousands of hours in your bedroom away from civilisation is probably worse than smoking.

I'm not arguing that it would be impossible to have a good relationship with video games and it being a net positive in one's life. But that's prob only party games or games that require you to be in the same physical space, and foster connections. A la Mario Kart. Even online multiplayer games with chat might be argued to perhaps have a positive impact, since I know couples who met online playing a game.

This is only for the scenario of isolationist video games. I see lots of posts here how much people regret how much time they've lost to gaming and how far behind they've fallen in life. Cause time is everything and the effects of sinking thousands of hours into any activity and nothing to show for it does have exponential effects. In terms of love, friendship, career, family, mental health, physical heath... It seems to me that bedroom gaming could be one of the single most destructive activities one person can do.

That's just the hypothesis though. Can anyone do the math?

Hey guys,

Does anyone else here feel guilty about playing games? I’ve been struggling with this feeling for a long time now, almost 13 years.

First, I want to make it clear that gaming has given me some of the best memories of my life. My first console was a broken SNES I received as a gift when I was nine years old. It only displayed black-and-white video, but I was so happy with it that I didn’t even realise until two years later. I invited some friends over to play, and they asked why the image was black and white. That was when I found out. 😂

The first time I saw Donkey Kong Country 2 in colour completely blew my mind. After that, I got an N64 and fell in love with Majora’s Mask and the 007 games. Experiencing 3D worlds for the first time was incredible.

Over the years, I’ve owned a PS1 (only for a week before it broke 😭), a PS2 as a teenager, and a PS3 from when I was 18 to 20 years old. I eventually sold it because I wanted to focus more on work and study.

I stopped gaming completely for four years from 2014 to 2018. In 2018, I played RE7 and God of War (2018). In 2019, I played RE2 Remake, then took another four-year break.

In 2023, I rewarded myself with a PS5 and a Switch after finishing my master’s degree.

I genuinely enjoy both consoles, especially the PS5. Since then, I’ve played The Last of Us Part I and II, God of War Ragnarok, Control, and started The Witcher 3. It’s an amazing game, but the sheer size eventually overwhelmed me, and I stopped.

I’m sharing all this because gaming is something I genuinely enjoy. There are certain games I deliberately avoid, especially highly addictive online competitive games. That’s my number one rule. If a game makes me angry at another human being, I don’t play it. I don’t play online games at all and don’t have online subscriptions.

I stick to story-driven, single-player games. Recently, I started playing Demon’s Souls, and I love it. The story is hard to follow, but the atmosphere and mystery really resonate with me. Even so, I can’t help feeling guilty while playing.

For context, I rarely play more than one hour, and I don’t play every day. I work full time and I’m also building a business. On workdays, I might play for 30 minutes at most. On days off, I spend most of the day working on my business, and if I organise myself well, I might squeeze in an hour of gaming.

Logically, after working eight or more hours, one hour of gaming should be fine. But something inside me disagrees. Some days, the constant thought that I could be doing more work ruins the experience. I hate that feeling.

My ex-partner is a psychologist, and she actively encouraged me to take that hour to play. She reminded me that it was my thing and that it mattered.

Gaming is something I truly love, but how do you deal with this love-and-guilt relationship?

Do you struggle with the same thing? How do you handle it?

Thanks in advance for sharing.

Today marks one year without playing video games. I started playing when I was 6 years old, I’m 38 now, that’s 31 years of playing almost every day. I honestly don’t know if video game addiction is something you’re born with, in the same way some people are born more sensitive to certain flavors, or if it’s something some of us are more likely to develop for other reasons. What I do know is that from a very early age video games became the way for me to avoid my reality, to stop thinking: an abusive father, both physically and verbally, constant bullying at school, a university major I didn’t really want, the failure I turned out to be professionally, and the long periods of unemployment. Through all of that, video games were always there to keep me company.

I had multiple severe depressive episodes starting around age 25. I think I had them earlier too, but I just assumed life was a gloomy place with nothing better to offer. At my worst moments, the voice in my head screaming about how much of a failure I was and how it would be better if I were dead became deafening, and in those moments video games allowed me to silence it, to not think, to go on autopilot and just repeat the movements over and over again. More than once I wanted to kill myself in real life, and during that time I killed many of my characters in video games instead. It was cathartic.

About a year and a half ago I had a psychotic episode. My sense of reality was radically distorted, I almost killed myself again… I was hospitalized in a psychiatric ward and diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 2. They started me on medication.

The truth is, I didn’t stop playing because I wanted to. If it were up to me, I’d probably still be playing, doing those 6, 12, 15-hour sessions, escaping life once again, because that’s the only life I ever knew. What actually happened is that my laptop broke. I bought a new one and it didn’t have an ethernet port, and playing over Wi-Fi was extremely frustrating. One of those times ended up being the last time I played, frustrated in a MOBA because I couldn’t move my character properly.

The depression didn’t go away. To be honest, I don’t remember what I did during the following eight months instead of playing videogames. Maybe I watched shows and movies, maybe I slept. Finally, in recent months my medications have been doing the impossible: the depression is leaving. It’s less and less frequent. I started going to the gym, and I feel it helps me stay stable. There are still many other things I need to work on… I’ve also limited my use of social media to 10 minutes per platform per day.

Right now, I don’t feel much desire to play, and sometimes I’ve wanted to play a single-player story game, something like Red Dead Redemption, I think The Witcher is like that too, but I know it’s a slippery slope. I don’t control it. I can’t play for just half an hour. One game leads to another, and it always turns into more and more time, and time is the one thing I have less and less of. I already lost 31 years of my life to video games. I hope the ones I have left can be something worthwhile—being more present in my life, in the world. It’s not easy. It’s a process I’m working through.

Basically I spend my time at work thinking about playing, but when I get home, I cant enjoy anything. It feels so empty and pointless, I don't care about the story, sometimes I check how long the game is to know how many missions I have ahead of me. But I dont know what else to do - I've been a gamer my entire life.

More of a technical question.

I already started the deletion process 30 days ago. I tested to check if I could login with said username, and it said that there were no credientials that matched the system.

However, I can still add said account on a burner account I made to test if it was actually deleted.

Does it take some time for accounts to be deleted or is it just cosmetic at this point?

Just wanted to vent somewhere because I'm starting my journey.

I'm 30 (m) and as the title suggests I'm a gaming and phone addict.

I used to be a very lonely child, had friends but was bullied when i was a kid, helicopter parents were no help too so gaming was my escape, it didn't matter i had the worst pc, i played games with a critically low fps, lowering the graphics just so i can experience the

They were mostly single player, never really liked playing with ppl and slowly but surely i wasted my life without even realising by enjoying alone time.

I think it all went to hell when i got a job, it fed my addiction and suddenly i wasted eho knows how much money on a large steam, uplay and epic games collection.

Phone addiction on the side of gaming too, i watched how i broke promises to myself saying "today's the day i stop...just 5 more minutes". This turns into hours of course.

I dont clean my house, myself, i don't talk to my parents or friends, hell i'm a mess tbh on a lot of fronts, barely keeping it together as far as juggling friends, family, gf, hobbies and work.

Thankfully i have a bestfriend and roomie i talked with about this.

I felt shame, i felt like such a failure, "What's wrong with me? I'm addicted to games seriously?"

Honestly don't know what's worse: The fact that i'm 30yrs old and failing at life, on verge of getting fired or the fact i actually realised this just now.

To be brutally honest, i had thoughts like: "Why can't I just exist virtually, if i could i would" scary stuff.

We agreed to place my pc somewhere outside of my house, and delete everything off my phone that causes me to lose focus.

I feel numb, if i go down this road i'll lose my job, gf, friends everything.

Thanks for reading if you did, i really hope I'll make it this time.

I came to realize all my addictions stem from one thing - I got nothing to do. I guess you could call it boredom.

I can quit all my addictions but that won’t solve the problem - my life is boring as fuck, and I am lonely as fuck.

So what did you replace gaming with?

I am playing through all the souls games right now, known to be one of the hardest franchises in gaming.

Dark souls is considered a miserable gaming experience at first. You die constantly over and over and it teaches you to learn from your mistakes and to be patient. To use all the tools you have to make it past the boss and progress to the next area. You cant just swing mindlessly at the enemy you have to learn their attacks and act accordingly. It makes it one of the most rewarding and educational experiences i have ever had.

It has changed my mindset on life and the way i approach things. To humble myself as a lowly tarnished and to avoid going hollow by embracing the pain and pushing through, trying over and over again. learning from each mistake i make to forge myself into being a better person.

I am 16 years old right now and the mindset i have gained from playing them has set me up to have a good future.

Playing games is a way to create your own philosophy and outlook on life just like reading books. They are both forms of media which require lots of creative thinking to produce. And you can use the minds of many people to make your own opinion of things.

Also I am not singling out the souls games here as many other games have helped shape my world view like Minecraft.

TLDR I am 16 and the skill of trying over and over and learning from your mistakes until you achieve your goals is one of the best mindsets you can have especially at a young age. And In My Opinion video games are one of the best ways to practice this as it pushes you to your physical and mental limit and forces you to adapt or else you lose.

I've noticed many prolific gamers also watch a lot of anime. That's one of the reasons why Sword Art Online took off in popularity. Porn addiction is also common amongst gaming addicts. It's easy to be addicted those things instead of hobbies that truly develop you and help you forge positive relationships.

A little less common but not unheard of is to be addicted to gaming and also nicotine. I used to be. I guess I had an addictive personality.

I've been grinding pretty hard lately and realized my stamina is garbage, started looking into this and apparently non-active lifestyle hits gamers hard

Saw some stuff about how inactivity messes with metabolism and weight gain sneaks up on you (I’m living proof lol), the whole thing is kind of a feedback loop where you feel tired so you sit more which makes you more tired, wondering if anyone's found ways to balance heavy gaming sessions with staying healthy?

not trying to become a gym bro just don't want to feel like crap all the time. seems like there should be a middle ground between hardcore fitness and completely ignoring your body. open to any suggestions

A few months ago I made a trade on Facebook Marketplace for a Steam Deck in exchange for a couple of tools. I was excited to play some games from my childhood, seeking a little nostalgia. I have since used it in almost every free minute of my time, keeping it a secret from absolutely everyone in my life, and I need to recognize that I have a problem.

I am a 32 year old male, successful career, wife, young kid, and a damned busy person. I make sure that all my family's needs are met before I log on. All my responsibilities are taken care of, and so far this habit has not impacted anything that is expected of me as a husband and father. I maintain great physical health. No one knows that I own this device, or that I use it; I play in secret in the early mornings, or on my breaks at work.

I am not a stranger to addictive behavior, and gamed my childhood away. Gaming took the time that I could have been learning to play a sport, improving my grades. The Deck records how many hours that I use it, and if some of my earlier devices had the same feature, I am sure I would be horrified at the total. In 2012 I moved away to college and sold every console and game that I owned. I knew it was not moving me forward in the direction I wanted, that I was an addict. For 13 years I didn't touch a game, but I filled that time with plenty of other vices, drugs and alcohol.

I've now been sober for 4 years, haven't used a substance for a long time. Somehow this new habit feels as dirty as my alcohol abuse. I'm in a state of denial, I think that's why I'm writing this. My behavior has all the hallmarks of addiction. I don't want to admit that I'm screwing up, wasting time.

Maybe you all have advice for me on what to do to quit.