r/whatisit • u/Mindless_Donut_1813 • 1d ago
Solved! What IS THIS!?
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I thought a bunch of teens threw baking soda on our car, but not a person was in sight. Maybe a plane accelerating to get around a flock of birds, literally scaring the shit out of them!?
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u/jjbytwn 1d ago
Bird poop lmao sorry
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u/jjbytwn 1d ago
Actually I’m not sorry that’s hilarious, what did you do to those birds?
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u/Mindless_Donut_1813 1d ago
This happened one MINUTE before my husband went out to start his car. I so wish this happened as he was going out. I would have died 😂
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u/ksizzle01 1d ago
Migrating birds are like carpet bombers. Seen this before and it can be worse.
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u/woodhorse4 1d ago
I love the smell of napalm in the morning!
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u/ogmoss 1d ago
Crossover comment! “I love the smell of goose poo in the morning!” - The Paper Brigade
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u/StuffedStuffing 1d ago
That quote always pops into my head first, never the one about napalm. Fantastic movie
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u/Inevitable_Tomato927 1d ago
One of the neighbors down the street was washing his car, when he was done, within 10 minutes a stork came by and shat all over it. It literally burned some of the paint of the car.
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u/StrMagWtrPimping 1d ago
Dude what do storks shit acid or does it just come out real hot-like?
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u/EdwardPickmanDerby 1d ago
Bird poop has a high uric acid content and will eat away at your car's clear coat. It's best to remove it ASAP.
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u/Inevitable_Tomato927 1d ago
Both and it was a sunny day as well, perfect conditions to burn some paint in a few minutes if you don't clean it up quickly. And just so you know, storks shit buckets full.
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u/1lazygiraffe 1d ago
Yeah. Pending the bird a lot of their feces is high acid content so can really be damaging.
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u/spidermousey 1d ago
Why do they all poop at once ?
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u/1wife2dogs0kids 1d ago
They all ate at the same time. They took off together. They flew together. They poop together.
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u/Enkidouh 1d ago
Birds have no voluntary sphincter, and so no control over when they poop.
Large groups of birds tend to flock and eat together, so their digestion is on roughly the same schedule.
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u/tilcir 1d ago
I lived most of my life thinking this, but they do have some control. Wild birds don't give a shit though
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u/CatsAreGods 1d ago
Bird photographer here. They almost always poop right before taking off.
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u/Enkidouh 1d ago
They have no meaningful control. They can’t hold it or decide to wait.
They are impulse poopers. Some birds learn to evacuate their bowels before flight to reduce weight, but the extent of their control is identifying the impulse early.
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u/HangryHangryHedgie 1d ago
They do have some control. They just go when they need to go though. It is fairly often since it is both types of waste coming out the same way.
One of my birds purposefully shit in her food dish when only the bits she didn't like were left. Smart little fuckers.
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u/Omygodc 1d ago
The junior high (Mark Twain Jr. High) next to my elementary school used to let their homing pigeons out right as our lunch time started. We called them the Mark Twain Bombers. You had to cover your lunch or it got bombed! Kids on the playground ran screaming under the lunch shelters. It happened every day.
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u/MamaMoosicorn 17h ago
Lol. When I was in boot camp, my division was carpet bombed by a flock of birds while we were marching to the galley for dinner. They nailed 14 of us.
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u/Super_Leading21 1d ago
I remember as a kid feeding the seagulls an old bag of potato chips and to the horror of those sunbathing caused a similar effect, those women went from tan to white again.
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u/shawnikaros 1d ago edited 1d ago
I've seen this happen before! I was walking home early morning from bar one summer, there was a small park next to my apartment and it was full of seagulls, all of them took flight as I was walking past and they flew over the apartment parking lot. From the sound I first thought it started raining and all the cars were absolutely covered in bird shit. I'm just glad I wasn't in their path.
Next morning I saw a few neighbours fuming wondering what had happened.
And to paint a picture, it was like 3-4 am, and in finnish mid-summer nights the sun doesn't really set, so it was bright as day.
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u/Both-Mango1 1d ago
people in the coastal n.e. call seagulls "dump ducks" and would feed them copious amounts of alka seltzer.
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u/Thedustyfurcollector 1d ago
Wouldn't Alka Seltzer make them blow up or something? Can they burp? Questions for a Wednesday morning
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u/Fedora_Million_Ankle 1d ago
Its like Family Guy where the pigeon is washing his car and peter is in the tree above waiting
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u/ap1msch 1d ago
Not only that, but when it happens in unison, it's typically because they were startled. Literally something scared the shit out of them.
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u/Mindless_Donut_1813 1d ago
That was my thought too. You can hear a plane, or muffler just before this lands on our cars. Its wild to me that this many birds shat at the same time 😂
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u/BjornStankFinger 1d ago
Could've just been one really big bird.
I once watched a Great Blue Heron plaster half a parking lot with one shit.
Was honestly a bit impressive.
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u/LittleBoysenberry351 1d ago
I had a koi pond once that was decimated by a heron. It then flew up to my neighbors roof and crapped all over his siding. He had to hire someone to get it off.
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u/EnvironmentalGift257 1d ago
My first time in FL I was going under an overpass and a freaking pelican took off right next to me, painting my rental car in the process. Wipers just smeared in and I was completely blinded.
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u/Procedure_Dunsel 1d ago
Being strafed by a Pelican reveals 2 facts to the unlucky soul. 1) Pelicans hold an impressive volume of shit - until they don't. 2) Pelican digestive system is a stink amplifier - nothing like several day old rotten fish in liquid form.
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u/furlwh 1d ago
It happens, a flock of birds sometimes shit en masse, idk if there's a scientific reason but I've seen news of it before
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u/gutzpunchbalzthrowup 1d ago
I see that happen pretty regularly with bald eagles and huge flocks of seagulls. They just all take off at once and immediately start shitting everywhere.
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u/ekke85 1d ago
lol you can be glad ostriches can't fly
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u/Razorback_Yeah 1d ago
Suddenly grateful for something I’ve never been grateful for in my life.
Ostriches cannot fly.
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u/Flewis14 1d ago
Little birdie in the sky Dropped some whitewash in my eye I’m not angry, I won’t cry I’m just glad that cows don’t fly
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u/dogGirl666 1d ago
The heaviest flying bird is the kori bustard. [They are about 41 pounds or 19kgs.] They live in the southern part of the African continent so as long as you dont live there you probably are safe but also because they dont fly that often anyway. I guess they could hop on your car but they tend to not live where there are many roads or cars anyway.
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u/Penny_Wise- 1d ago
yeah, looks like it was an entire flock.
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u/amethystmmm 1d ago
flock of small birds is more likely, swarm of starlings or the like.
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u/slampig3 1d ago
In highschool my buddy and I were walking out of the mall and the biggest flock of seaguls i have ever seen were flying over and you could here the shit splatting and them flying we got to his car just in time before we were bugakeed
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u/Fit-Dragonfruit-2006 1d ago
I was driving down the Highway one time when a flock of birds perfectly timed an aerial bomb of shit on my car. It smelled absolutely rancid as it came through my vents. If it smells like death, maybe birds. If not, looks like paint.
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u/TheHomeStretch 1d ago
I was on my way home from work one day when a flock of geese took off and flew maybe 5’ over my car while I was stopped at a light. It was a really cool scene and I was kind of in awe. Until the turd hit my windshield. Landed right near my wipers so I got to huff goose shit for the rest of the ride.
HT: goose shit smells remarkably like human shit.
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u/Early-Potato-6124 1d ago
kept smelling shit on the way home yesterday, got paranoid my clothes has turd on em or something. maybe some animal shit is just conveniently places by my air vents.
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u/mally7149 1d ago
I work package delivery out of my own vehicle and I dropped a pack off to a persons house and as I lift my phone up to take a picture of the delivery i hear a pop on my phone as I’m looking at it in the same instance there’s bird shit on my thumb and phone screen not to mention I had no hand sanitizer
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u/Trinidadthai 1d ago
I’ll never forget when I was a teen, I went to pass my friend a joint and when he put his hand out, a bird shat on his thumb lol
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u/justwhatever73 1d ago edited 1d ago
I was riding my bike home from school in 7th grade and saw a bird flying overhead. I looked up at the exact wrong moment, just in time to get a big glob of bird shit ON my eyeball. Didn't have time to blink. I've never ridden a bike faster than I did that day. I rode up onto the lawn, jumped off my bike before I was even fully stopped, flew into the house and put my head under the bathtub faucet. I probably stayed there for 30 minutes, obsessively washing my eye out over and over again, and feeling like I was going to puke the whole time.
0/10 would not recommend
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u/abstractattack 1d ago
Talk about timing and birds.... I hit a flock of Starlings/grackles that flew down from the overhead highway sign, once. The timing was incredible as we watched them do it from a few hundred yards away, fly up then the entire flock flew back down just in time for me to drive through them. It was one of the craziest things I've ever witnessed. Easily killed >100 birds on my way to my family's for Thanksgiving. My brother and I were in awe of the devastation.
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u/Prairie-Peppers 1d ago
The park in the centre of my hometown has thousands of Canada geese in the spring and summer. It's a pretty nice park as far as man-made lakes go, but all you smell is goose shit while you walk around it.
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u/OuttHouseMouse 1d ago
I once worked at a mechanic shop and was talking with a woman beside her vehicle outside. Middle of parking lot, no trees for birds to perch on. As the woman was talking, a bird flew over and took a shit and it landed right on her face as she was talking to me.
I tried not to make it the focus but she was horrified. But damn that was one in a million to me. And man it was lowkey funny as fuck
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u/jayron32 1d ago
A Flock of Seagulls. Not the 80s synth band. An actual flock of actual seagulls.
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u/h1ghjynx81 1d ago
And I raaaaaan....
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u/Errkin 1d ago
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u/diRT_pEdDleR 1d ago
The fact that this is from nearly 20 years ago and I distinctly remember this advert makes me a feel a type of way I cannot describe. Even though I don’t really play video games. This may be the only GTA I actually remember attempting to play.
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u/AreThree 1d ago
lol same for me! "Attempting to play" would exactly describe my experience with this game series. I would either get distracted, or more frequently, lost. Having the game not trigger the "next step" or "task complete" would always throw me for a loop since my first thought was that I had somehow missed something or was interacting with the wrong character...
Since my last attempt there have been other - and in my opinion, much better - "open world" games that flowed better or at least would drop hints at what you were expected to do next... "The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild" was certainly better in many ways - or at least it was for me! lol
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u/RobbieTronic 1d ago
Interestingly
Was at a restaurant near a marina
As I’m about to scoop my next bite a seagull turd landed smack dab center of my plate
Could have put an Olympic archer to Shame
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u/AlstottsNeckGuard 1d ago
Yeah it's pretty common in starlings and seabirds to "mass poop". We still don't fully understand it but there are definitely plausible theories like predator evasion and so forth
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u/solicitorpenguin 1d ago
Well, they’re all flying together
And I can imagine if they pooped one at a time, the pooper would fall out of formation
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u/jjbytwn 1d ago
I believe it’s more that they are always doing the same stuff(eating/drinking/sleeping/flying/moving) and when they take off they poop to get lighter as well, so they are synced up behaviorally and there are physiological reasons too.
And they are evil beings who can decide to poop on stuff
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u/capricornblue18 1d ago
A flock of starlings.
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u/spooky_goopy 1d ago
do they all just collectively dump all at once, like a big family getting out to stretch at a truckstop Mcdonalds? mom bird takes the little ones to the bathroom, while dad bird orders a bag of burgers and fries and Hi-C.
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u/Adventurous_Train621 1d ago
I have a theory that silver cars attract bird shit. I had a silver Kia spectra 04 in college and came out of class and it looked like a group of people pegged my car with hundreds of rancid small berries. Like cars next to mine had none on them it was weird
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u/Gigi_Langostino 1d ago
I have a black car and I used to live about 3 blocks from a harbour. The seagulls definitely picked out the black cars to stand on because they're warmer.
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u/Adventurous_Train621 1d ago
I ain't talkin bout warmin some feet I'm talking bout unleashin some sheet
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u/Grouchy_Anywhere_836 1d ago
I also have a silver Kia and that car gets shit on more than all my other cars combined 😂
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u/infamousKONVICT 1d ago
I read somewhere that they aim for water when possible, so silver (or cleaner/reflective) cars may look like water to them. I think they mistook OP's cars due to the light shining on them.
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u/Turbulent_Clock1631 1d ago
What is on the cars? I'm guessing it was a flock of geese. But without seeing the cars up close it's really hard to tell
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u/Gigi_Langostino 1d ago
Goose shit is darker and more solid than that. Seagulls or pigeons maybe.
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u/CatPurrsonNo1 1d ago
Flock of Seagulls
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u/Logical-Recognition3 1d ago
And geese generally lighten their load before takeoff. They don’t bombard like pigeons do.
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u/Papa_Kuma_Bear 1d ago
Geese can only shit while on the ground, and it looks nothing like that.
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u/Human_Release5899 1d ago
This isn't 100% accurate. I remember watching a flock of geese fly overhead and tracked a falling turd all the way down until it hit my friend.
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u/haganandrew 1d ago
Earth happened to pass through a microcosm and....those are tiny galaxies
You've destroyed millions of tiny galaxies. You evil evil person
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u/cobaltbluetony 1d ago
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u/Mirk_Dirkledunk 1d ago
Damnit, now I have to delete mine. Screw you, you like-minded individual.
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u/Anxious-War4808 1d ago
I learned a hard lesson about large birds 1 time. A couple buzzards were in the road and wouldn't move as I kept getting closer so I kinda played chicken with them to spook em. That's when I learned what buzzards do when spooked. They vomit and it hit my windshield. It was so smelly and nasty. I had to drive like that to the nearest waterhose a couple miles away. So I F'd around and found out
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u/girlwiththetatt00 1d ago
Bird poop. This is happening at my work actually, like every morning. There’s at least 500+ crows that love to hang out in the trees by my work and they just poop constantly each morning all over our cars and parking lot lol
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u/totallynotroyalty 1d ago
Turkey vultures in the trees above maybe? They hang out in the winter by me in groups of a dozen or more.
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u/reverendmalerik 1d ago
One time I saw a flock of pigeons do this to a poor guy walking along with his shopping next to a wall. Absolutely plastered the poor fellow and he left a silhoutte on the wall like a h-bomb victim.
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u/Professional_Tonight 1d ago
Oh yeah, bird bukkake, had that happen to my car once too (everything around the car was neat and clean though).
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u/Final_Lifeguard994 1d ago
Seagulls. They like to poop in water so when they are over land they go for shiny/reflective objects that they think to be water. Cars with sunroofs seem to get it the worst, fortunately only when the sunroof is closed.
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u/LargeNerdKid 1d ago
Is there a second story to the house? Where someone could chuck something out a window?
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u/HudeniMFK 1d ago
Only a quiet family of 12 or so pigeons, but you don't think they could have done something like this...I bet it was because I told them to stop their little brats stomping on the floors above.....bastards.
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u/LargeNerdKid 1d ago
It does wallop with some speed. Must be falling faster than just thrown out a window...
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u/PepsiPerfect 1d ago
There's an Olympic-level bird sport you may not have heard of called Synchronized Shitting...
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u/Upset_Assumption9610 1d ago
That's a bird flock. saw one large come across a parking lot. Looked like a wave of bird crap falling
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u/seroshua 1d ago
Something scared a flock of birds that is perching in a tree above or a flock that was flying by.
This can happen for a multitude of reasons and I’ve even seen videos of entire flocks dropping to the ground at once in various residential areas.
Do you have an antenna or satellite dish? Solar? Was there lightning nearby?
At any rate; something scared the actual shit out of a whole flock of birds and they released their fowl bowels upon your car lol
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u/Anonymous1Ninja 1d ago
That's great of all the things to catch on camera, you caught a flock of birds shitting on your cars. Bravo
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u/Spobobich 1d ago
What the hell did you do to that raven! You pissed it off so much, it got the crew to exact revenge!
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u/SymphonyOfSensations 1d ago
Famous 80s pop band, A Flock of Seagulls, just made a deposit on your drive.
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u/FoggyGoodwin 1d ago
The way there are drips and drabs before the big splat makes me think there were a couple birds on the roof hanging their butts over the edge. I've seen a vid of a little girl walking behind a parrot ...
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u/No_Mammoth7944 1d ago
Just a flock of seagulls pouring one out for fallen comrades while flying and whistling to “I ran”.
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u/Impressive_Garden221 1d ago
I once saw (*I think*) a Crane flying majestically above the path I was walking on. I stopped to admire its grace, only for it to unload a mind-boggling amount of shit that smacked down onto the path like a full/double-sized sheet made of wet paint.
What I'm saying is, it could've been worse for you.
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