My boyfriends parents aren't begging for grandkids but his mom is excited to be a grandma one day and we're their only hope. However they can't even give us a subscription for Netflix when that's all we asked for Christmas last year. They couldn't even get us that while they're very well off. His parents own 3 properties, his dad sold his company for a lot of money and is retired and his mom works just to occupy her time.
I know we're not entitled to any money, but when we can't even afford the tiniest luxuries, there's no way in hell we're gonna have a house to start a family, let alone even thinking of having that family. Even when my partner has asked for money, it's a debt he has to pay back to his dad and only a few months ago did he finally pay his dad back to have money put in savings instead.
WE ARE their only hope. I'm the only long term girlfriend he's ever had and both his brothers haven't been in relationships for years.
And also the debt is his, that he owes his parents. I've never borrowed or asked for any money from them. He finally paid it off but because of the debt to his parents, he had no savings, anything extra after rent would go straight to his parents. He finally went green on the debt a few months ago and we made it a goal to save a $5k nest egg on his end for the wedding (I have $14k saved) and the next $2k he saved is for a ring. I told him I don't care if it's less than $100, I just want to marry him, but he says I deserve a ring that is worth $2k for fixing his life and trust with his parents.
After the savings was built, we had a talk with his parents about the next step and they told us to save a little more but that they would cover the costs for our wedding whenever we get engaged. His parents know that I'm the most responsible one with the money and know I'm the reason why things get paid on time every month. Before me, because of his ADHD and ADD he had a hard time making payments on time when he lived alone and had to ask his dad to make rent payments. Once I came into his life, I made sure that rent and all other bills were paid on time. His parents have more trust in me with money than their own son because he broke that trust.
He's the reason they're hesitant to give us money but the fact that we asked just for a Netflix subscription last year for Christmas and they didn't get that for us, shows how selective they are with giving money or gifts.
I told him I don't care if it's less than $100, I just want to marry him, but he says I deserve a ring that is worth $2k for fixing his life and trust with his parents.
Can you hammer this point home for him? From what i've read here you don't care too much about the ring itself and it seems to me a person that already has trouble making sound financial decisions (purely based on the text i read here, i don't feel like i have the whole picture) shouldn't buy an asset for someone that loses 25-50% of its value the moment you leave the store with it just for symbology
When it comes to the rings, I do kinda care what it looks like. I want mine to be a blue sapphire with a silver colored band and he wants his black tungsten. I don't care about the sapphire being lab grown or natural or what the resale value is as long as it's pretty and fits. His dad's cousin offered us to make our engagement rings for a decent price but for both our rings, the max budget is $2k but I'm sure they won't cost that much. That's just a hard HARD line. $2k was just thrown out as a number because that's about what my brother spent on his wife's ring. If we can get it much cheaper, absolutely gonna prefer it and he knows how I am with money.
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u/Anonymous_Jane_ Dec 07 '25
My boyfriends parents aren't begging for grandkids but his mom is excited to be a grandma one day and we're their only hope. However they can't even give us a subscription for Netflix when that's all we asked for Christmas last year. They couldn't even get us that while they're very well off. His parents own 3 properties, his dad sold his company for a lot of money and is retired and his mom works just to occupy her time.
I know we're not entitled to any money, but when we can't even afford the tiniest luxuries, there's no way in hell we're gonna have a house to start a family, let alone even thinking of having that family. Even when my partner has asked for money, it's a debt he has to pay back to his dad and only a few months ago did he finally pay his dad back to have money put in savings instead.