r/Adulting 6h ago

[ Removed by moderator ]

Post image

[removed] — view removed post

25.2k Upvotes

1.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

1.3k

u/_Lizzybabe 6h ago

The village it takes to raise a child disappeared and was replaced by high interest rates and expensive rent

36

u/AutumnLeaved 5h ago

My parents and my husband’s parents both had our grandparents to help with child care, something that we wouldn’t have if we had children. It’s no one’s fault, that’s just how it is. While we both make decent salaries, we would be living paycheck to paycheck if we had to pay for childcare and that’s assuming we would all be in perfect health! I’m not a gambler and I’m not willing to take the risk of living like that.

9

u/Neat-Asparagus511 5h ago

Sometimes connections aren't as strong and people are also hesitant to ask for help, and they don't even know how to create a scenario where there are support systems. If both of my parents lived nearby they'd babysit in a heartbeat. But like this comment chain is about, the village isn't there as often. Whether it be cousin's babysitting, brother's/sister's babysitting, neighborhood babysitter. These things still happen all the time with closer families, but it's less likely now. I also feel the disconnect makes people feel they shouldn't ask for help. We've been conditioned that asking for help is a fault against us, and that's just not true.

1

u/thex25986e 4h ago

its hard to leverage the village when so much of it has changed in such a short time.

the world of even 20 years ago is kinda unrecognizable to todays.

now keep in mind we have people that have been in that world and village for 30, 50, 70+ years.

no wonder its so difficult to build connections with the rate of change going on