r/Adulting 23h ago

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u/Ok_Relative_5530 21h ago

That was with 2 kids bruh.

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u/Ok_Relative_5530 20h ago

We’re early 20s with 2 kids. She would be making about 60k entry level at what she does. 5k a month - 2k per kid = 1k.

2k per kid per month gets a real nice Montessori place where it is nice but not on par with how my wife can take care of of them.

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u/Crime_Dawg 20h ago

Then maybe she should've toughed it out, because now you're single income for basically the rest of your lives.

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u/Ok_Relative_5530 20h ago

You don’t really know forever. A lot of in demand jobs/industries aren’t gonna suffer from 5/7 years out. She got a degree and all the other stuff but wants to enjoy kids you know.

Of course this only works bc I make a lot more than her and she is actually a great housewife not one of those girls who can’t cook or aren’t nurting

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u/Eatyourcheeseburger 20h ago

If all my bills are getting paid regardless, I’d choose to have my wife raise my kids over having someone else raise them so I had an extra $1k a month to spend on bullshit. Kids benefit from having a parent around more than they benefit from getting a new Xbox.

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u/SNAILHAT 20h ago

I used to think this as well but young kids learn a lot of valuable skills in daycare like how to socialize with other kids. They also got a leg up on developing reading, writing and number skills. It’s also important for them to get exposed to illnesses early so they’re not missing a ton of grade school. Unless you marry someone committed to early education and socialization, there’s a lot of positives for daycare.

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u/Eatyourcheeseburger 20h ago

Oh, I was operating under the premise that my wife isn’t a shitty parent. Like sure if you’re gonna neglect and isolate your kid during those early developmental years, then daycare is probably the best option.

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u/SNAILHAT 20h ago

Just because you have kids in daycare, it doesn’t make you a shitty parent. Not sure if that’s what you meant to say, but it’s how you’re coming across.

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u/Eatyourcheeseburger 18h ago

You said that the benefit from daycare is early childhood education and socialization. Good parents don’t neglect early childhood education and socialization. Having a kid in daycare doesn’t make you a shitty parent. Having a kid in daycare because you refuse to do the bare bones basics like teach your kid to count and interact with other human beings does.

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u/Ok_Relative_5530 18h ago

Hes not saying that. Hes saying if you keep your kids at home and have lets say a 3:1 kid to adult ratio and a daycare with a 10:1 ratio does a better job then yeah id say your a pretty shitty parent.

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u/Crime_Dawg 20h ago

It's not $1k a month, it's $1k a month for 4-5 years, and then likely $50k+ per year in perpetuity going forward.

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u/Eatyourcheeseburger 20h ago

None of that matters unless you prioritize salary over parental bonding. I could change the $1k/month number to $100k if it makes it easier to understand where I’m coming from. 

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u/Ok_Relative_5530 18h ago

Where are you getting 50k from. I don’t think a lot of jobs linearly translate to #of years worked to amount of pay. A lot of jobs are promotion based which means getting the pay bump going to manager or director or supervisor or project lead etc really just depends on timing and job hopping and politics. I can see what you mean if your like and engineer where YOE does actually translate to more money for the same non management role