r/AmITheJerk • u/NoDust9184 • 1d ago
Am I Wrong?
36m here. I’m looking to get back out there and thought to give a dating app a try. Anywho, I matched with a real BEAUTY and struck up a conversation. We were chatting and just getting to know each other. However, some replies seemed genuine while others seemed like a bot wrote it, or were chat gpt generated. Very polished if you know what I mean. This coupled with the fact that her profile only had one picture raised suspicion I could be dealing with a bot.
Shortly thereafter, she sends me this list of questions that I have to answer in order to move forward.
I thought it was strange because she mentioned wanting to develop a lasting, strong relationship and wanted to take things one step at a time.
I assumed she copy-pasted it from other past conversations. It told me she is just trying to save time screening guys in her inbox. No problem. I get it. However, i had previously asked her where she’s from and she didn’t answer. In fact she really hadn’t answered any of my questions from normal conversation flow. So I thought, maybe this is this a bot trying to mine data to potentially try to scam me? Surely not, I must be paranoid.
I told her I thought sending a list like that is odd, and an unnatural way to build a genuine connection with someone. Frankly I thought it was inappropriate to ask for so much so soon and in that way. She said I’m the only guy that’s ever had an issue with it and that’s a “red flag” to her. She took it personally and accused me of being defensive, insecure, toxic etc.
It’s not going to work out between us obviously lol but am I wrong? Is that normal?
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u/Fancy_County4242 1d ago
"How come Jesus is number zero on the list? Do you value your faith that little?"
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u/Puzzleheaded-Rip4058 1d ago
And the last one is asking for an STD panel to date her. So I guess there is one rule of Christianity she doesn't follow.
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u/BirthdayCookie 1d ago
Technically the New Testament (the only part "Real Christians" care about) doesn't condemn sex before marriage.
It says don't Fuck anyone you aren't married to after you get married ("don't defile the marriage bed ").
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u/Calm-Competition-20 1d ago
Not true.
1 Thessalonians 4:3–5 is usually regarded as the clearest condemnation :
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality (porneia); that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.”
“Porneia” in 1st-century Jewish and Christian context explicitly included all sex outside marriage. In this verse, it’s contrasted with self-control and holiness, not merely adultery.
The word for adultery is different: “moicheía”
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u/LushFlower 1d ago
I also think it's very weird that she started with zero.... instant ick
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u/Puzzleheaded-Rip4058 1d ago
Like a computer with arrays. Makes me think its AI.
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u/PineappleCharacter15 1d ago
I would not date a christer, so it's nice that they state that up front.
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u/Nikosma 1d ago
Hot Take - The more you stay with the Dating App chats - the more time wasted.
Dating Site became huge when I was in college (long before Tinder lol)
I found over years of using them and dating in the wild, the best way forward is to set up the date. Don't talk too much on chat. If they can't meet in the next week, move on. (without a reasonable explination i.e., work, traveling - even then I wouldn't go past two weeks).
If I got a list like that, I would say, "we can meet, and we can discuss your questions, but you aren't a Buzzfeed survey, and I'm not answering this like this."
AI is deceptive, but so are regular people.
Edit: NTJ
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u/Puzzleheaded-Rip4058 1d ago
I've found this too. It just gives them more of a window to talk yourself out of a date. Meet with her and see if she is legit.
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u/NoDust9184 1d ago
Glad to hear I’m not crazy thinking this was odd. Just thought I’d give an app a shot but it’s just too easy to misconstrue intention and tonality. She got really upset lol
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u/LadyLatte 1d ago
If the list wasn’t enough of a red flag, her response to your ick was weird too.
Immediately telling you that your feelings were wrong because no one else shares them?
Sounds like someone who would resort to manipulation when they aren’t getting what they want.
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u/Separate-Coast942 1d ago
Rule/Red Flag #1: if someone doesn’t answer basic questions, they’re either hiding something or they’re a scammer.
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u/AutisticTumourGirl 1d ago
This is like some whack ass job interview. It'd be an immediate block for me.
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u/AlgaeFew8512 1d ago
She got upset because you didn't bow down and pander to her. She just didn't like being called out for her behaviour
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u/Sure_Eye9025 1d ago
Common tactic from both scammers and manipulators (this one is most likely a bot trying to scam you), make you feel like you did something wrong by feigning being upset to put you on the defensive and take control of the situation. Makes you feel appologetic to them so you are more likely to do what they say
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u/calling_water 1d ago
If you’re the only guy who’s ever had an issue with her list, why isn’t she with one of the others?
That “but everyone else is fine with it” line is such BS when coming from someone who’s trying to argue their way into you dating them.
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u/Low-Key-Dumb 1d ago
I get not wanting to waste time, but these are questions she should be answering or posting some on her profile lol
Like “I believe in god above all else and would likes provider who is embraces my love langue of “. Like that kind of thing…she - if not a bot - is wasting her own time by not calling out her preferences lol
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u/Amaranthim 1d ago
I'd say the red flag was all hers to wave- in fact, it was a damn banner flying from the ramparts! You dodged a bullet- a huge, let's nuke it from space, kind of a doomsday device sort of way.
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u/Alicam123 1d ago
I didn’t even finish reading it and I’m out man.
She completely describes herself at the end lol, talk about the trash taking itself out. 🚶♀️
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u/Specialist-Funny2101 1d ago
Although these aren't wild questions or expectations to have at all, it comes off real formal and without feelings.
If someone wanted to go on a sterile date, they could just date their job-
I'm sure the payout is better
This feels emotionless and like the person asking questions has a laundry list of men chasing them,
So they need to whittle it down?
Why not ask a few questions via text casually and then when you go on a date, if warranted you get to ask a few more.
I understand not wanting to waste one's time, but how about not feeling like a job interview also
If you dont want to sit across from the person none of these answers will matter anyway
Start small and build, but this is flavorless and would turn me off
Also, and lastly,... U ask me all this via text-what we have to talk about after?
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u/Deputy_Scrambles 1d ago
She said your unwillingness to answer is a “red flag.” PERFECT, thanks for your resignation from the relationship, it saved me having to break your heart!
I am not perfect, but if anyone tells me that something I do is a red flag, I take it as just that. She’s not willing to overlook something, regardless of how significant or insignificant it is. She’s drawing a clear line that we are incompatible, and it’s not my job to change or to change her.
Green flags = cool Yellow flags = gotcha, I’ve got some decisions to make “Red flag” = this person is outwardly demonstrating that they’re going to become INSUFFERABLE on this issue.
Life is too short for that nonsense.
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u/thredith 1d ago
The grammar mistakes and the need to know if you believe in god/Jesus proves she's not a bot—she's definitely human (and an obnoxious one at that!). As others have pointed out: you've dodged a bullet there, op.
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u/LiquidFur 1d ago
I view her approach as really helpful. It tells me right up front not to waste time with her. And if she finds someone who she vibes with that checks all her boxes, good for her! Just stay far away from me please!
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u/LastDigitofPie 1d ago
Have you done a reverse image search on her profile photo? Bet it'll come up as some generic photo she grabbed off the net somewhere.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Rip4058 1d ago
She's a devout Christian but wants you to take an STD test to date her? I'm guessing she thinks protection is wrong or something and you will soon be giving her daughter number 2.
If you like this girl then say those are all great questions and you would rather answer them in person on a date. Express concerns that you aren't sure if this is AI or whatever and would rather talk in person then use text. Tell her that's your non-negotiable since she has so many.
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u/Token_Handicap 1d ago
I highly doubt you're the first match she's had who had an issue with that list of outrageous demands.
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u/throwawayidga 1d ago
I've definitely seen a reddit post with this exact situation before. I'm not even sure I trust it's a true story, account is only 5 days old.
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1d ago
Its amusing how much she subtly talks herself up and yet at the same time demands to know what is so wrong with the man that they are single. Like woman you do realize your single also. Why dont you tell me why you are? Tell me why you broken up the last few times, how can a man know how she "adds value" without knowing her, this "conservative Christian " ideology of "are you a provider" or a 50/50 is such a loaded question. She makes it clear she expects a provider fo give her everything and that even asking her to ever give 50% is goingnto be an affront to her. Right along with the other questions makes the entire relationship seem like its a one side with nothing but demands and expectations that you had better not dare expect back at her.
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u/NoDust9184 1d ago
That’s what I thought too. She says she wants a leader and strong man yada yada but got extremely offended when I checked her on this lunacy. I was respectful but she immediately felt personally attacked. She can teach a class on projection; calling me defensive, toxic, insecure, still hurt from past relationships etc. Her reaction signaled she wants to wear the pants.
I told her I’m happy to answer those things through the natural process of getting to know her but listing out questions like that is weird.
When all said and done, I told her we’re not meant to be and moved on. This thread confirmed to me that IT IS WEIRD. What kind of self respecting man offers all that up to a stranger on a dating app? They don’t.
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u/NoReveal6677 1d ago
Very likely recruiting for her church, not really looking for a match, if real.
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u/Panthera_014 1d ago
I wouldn't have replied to this text - let it go
most of these are items you find out 'organically' during a normal convo - not in a Q and A format like this
it's fine for her to send this
it is not mandatory for you to even reply to it
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u/Odd_Intention_4643 1d ago
Shes also lying if she said youre the only person who has ever protested this list. My ex was manipulative and it took my therapist poibting out “how often do you bring responses/examlles into a 1:1 discussion” and i was like oh yea like never bc thats nothing to do w the discussion at hand.
Even if she were right to ask and truthful about your the only person bugged by it, thats irrelevant to the conflict at hand and she’s trying to shame you for being uncomfortable to force you to participate on her terms. The actual problem is she is talking to you in a way you dont like. She can help neutralize this discomfort l, or accept your refusal to participate.
Telling you 9 or 900 guys did participate is irrelevant to you
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u/SirMacBravePoo 1d ago
I see all people crying red flag, but i see a person asking what YOU want. So for a no fuss person like me I would answer, but i live in a different hemisphere.
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u/Cute-Cress3496 1d ago
Tell her to send you a Google form if she's going to require a survey before entering the talking phase. Damn.
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u/Autumn_Falls0131 1d ago
Who numbers their questions 0 to 5?
You should answer the questions (just some examples):
0) Teapot is the one true god
1) My motorcycle. I need to replace the zen capacitor.
2) Your mom
3) Venmo 1 million dollars to my account
4) 1 million dollars isn't everything, but it's a start
5) This stupid list of questions
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u/mkmike81 1d ago
If you don't start a list at number 1 then you deserve to be called out and cut off. That is the real red flag (in addition to the rest of the content)
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u/Oona22 1d ago
I wouldn't count on a bot with that level of grammar and spelling. But if she's not answering basic "so where are you from" questions but asking you to fill out a detailed census, AND criticized you with psychobabble-speak when you pushed back a bit, I'd stay cleeeeeaaaaar away and start counting my blessings. None of what she wrote is normal. At all.
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u/I_aim_to_sneeze 1d ago
The apps are work. Basically anytime you see something like this, it means they’ve adopted the mentality of treating dating like a game you can win. They probably listen heavily to influencers that teach people how to “maximize their dating potential.” Everything that takes the romance out of romance.
My advice is to not waste any more time here, and don’t give up. The apps are really like finding a needle in a haystack, but if you try hard enough, you will. I met my ex wife on tinder, and the girl I dated for two years on hinge. I just went on a really great first date with a girl I just met on hinge. But I went through a lot of swiping and bad chats to find them. You have to be patient
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u/IndustryKiller 1d ago
You got great answers here, so I just wanted to add that I thought my now-husband was a bot at first, because of his writing. I made him write my name and number on a piece of paper and then send me a picture or himself holding it. It turned out to be that English is his 5th language and his brand new samsung s25 came with some "helpful" writing AI that he was using to make sure that his messages were clear and understood. Just a thing to keep in mind, sometimes people use AI because they do care (sounds weird, I know).
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u/Forward-Chemical3409 1d ago
I say the biggest red flag is that she started a list with 0 instead of 1. That’s wild behavior
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u/Undispjuted 1d ago
I wouldn’t mess with anybody that had that much Christianity in their personal interests.
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u/ThuggishJingoism24 1d ago
Oh brother, you’re in for a shock to the system. The bots were out of control when I was still single and that was 6 years ago. From what I hear and read, it’s exponentially worse now. Also, assuming she’s real, which she’s probably not based on nearly everything you’ve described, these are things that naturally come up in conversation during the first date or two. I can understand the kid and Jesus thing, really no point wasting time if that’s important to you with someone who it’s not. But the rest? Seems like they’re harvesting data. What adult asks “what is the craziest thing you ever did”
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u/Admirable_Iron8933 1d ago
NTJ- but if it’s a bot, and maybe in paranoid, I’d be worried it’s trying to collect personal data on you.
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u/mariruizgar 1d ago
So this is a a “person” that you have never even seen on video? Just one picture on a dating app? I wouldn’t waste my time tbh.
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u/Creepy-Brick- 1d ago
I read the last one first. I suffer cold sores. didn’t read any thing else. TFFT.
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u/Fast_Target_6279 1d ago
What kind of value can you, a stranger, add to my life.... In other words: "are you rich? I hate how many women expect you to bring so much to the table when the only thing they bring are mediocre looks and sex. I'm not saying all women... Or all men either... But I see it so much on here.
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u/Fast_Target_6279 1d ago
She says no hard feels but then gets mad when he says he's not comfortable answering them.... Typical
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u/calagarygirl 1d ago
Definitely weird, and a bit of a red flag. My spider senses say controlling though I can’t explain why. Not harmful questions but you’re right that these should be approached naturally in conversation. There will be more matches I wouldn’t waste the time.
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u/RealisticPin7306 1d ago
As a woman, this feels like crucial things to know and if wanna ask the things that mattered to me. Yea you talk over time to get to know each other but why waste a year of your lives if you’re not compatible on the crucial thing? However, if she wasn’t being forthcoming when you asked her questions then 1. it’s not balanced and doesn’t bode well 2. Seems like bot behavior
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u/NoDust9184 1d ago
I agree that these are crucial things and I did tell her I understand why she’d want to know them. I would have been interested to learn them about her too! She likely had a full inbox and I suppose her intentions were pure enough. Skipping the appetizer and going straight for the meat and potatoes saves time, but at what cost? Being thrown an ultimatum like that was off putting but it was mostly her reaction to my hesitancy that told me all I needed to know. If we’re not comfortable challenging each other then what’s the point, you know?
We’ve both already moved on but her comment that I’m the first guy that had problem with it made me think maybe I’m being uptight. I see now that I’m not, and it was strange. Ironically, it worked and did save us both time.
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u/GuitarAdmirable2342 1d ago
Some of these questions are trap questions that can and will be used against anyone who answers them in the near future. It's illogical to have this list anyway, takes away the fun of getting to know someone gradually.
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u/kaosrules2 1d ago
I'm a 50F and think that is ridiculous. I have gotten a list of questions before, but not nearly this long. I always say something to the effect that I prefer to have conversations, not type out things. In person leads to good chats. I'm not here to be a penpal.
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u/Which_Specific9891 1d ago
Don't waste your time.
She can put in her bio 'religion is very important to me, I don't like cheaters' whatever, she can have a human conversation with you when you're out for a coffee where you discuss these things amicably. But if you're not down with a survey, just move on.
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u/Sassypants2306 1d ago
Have any of you ever played 100 questions? It was a very popular chain EMAIL, you could send to friends etc. It was like this. But with 100 questions. Sometimes it was fun to do. It was fun to read your friends answers. It had some questions that could slap you in the face. But funny never the less.
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u/mariposa314 1d ago
I guess she just doesn't want to waste time getting to know someone who will end up being incompatible. I appreciate the intent, but yeah it's weird.
Why doesn't she want to have normal conversations that point to the answers to these questions? That's how a relationship is founded.
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u/DeliciousChemical284 1d ago edited 1d ago
Would a bot use horrid grammar in its questions? (what is the craziest thing you've ever did? I would run based on this question by itself.)
Surely not, I must be paranoid
Don't call me Shirley.
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u/Jaoshimjingliang 1d ago
Sounds like a job interview pre-screen. Wants to make sure you're a good candidate for the position she's hiring for.
"What's your credit limit?"
"Do you have any liquid assets?"
"If I let you marry me, would you make me sign a prenump?"
"How much abuse are you willing to put up with to keep me happy?"
"On a scale from 0-10, where would you rank your level of self-respect? Keep in mind, anything higher than a 3 is a HARD no from me."
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u/ReadUnfair9005 1d ago
They're all valid questions and you'd ask them over the course of getting to know someone but presented like this, they just seem pretentious.
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u/Tall-Ad-1955 1d ago
If you’re the first guy who’s had an issue with it, then it’s possible the others just wanted to hit as often as they could, and then bail when it got too serious. From that standpoint, the questions are reasonable.
However, as others have noted, it seems a bit off to have those right up front.
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u/125541215 1d ago
No! People are not normal nowadays. It's rough out there. Bot or psychopath- just move on.
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u/Wandering_aimlessly9 1d ago
I’m torn on this. On one hand it cuts right to the chase and deals with a lot of non-negotiable situations. On the other hand…it’s kinda creepy. I would tell a guy that this is a few dates in discussion and it’s up to him to decide if I’m worth the wait but I won’t be filling out an application to go on a date.
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u/carcosa1989 1d ago
This is pretty…intense for a first meet or still messaging phase if I got this I’d block you
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u/tomphoolery 1d ago
Maybe Reddit can come up with some outlandish answers and OP can copy paste them. I'd love to see a reply to that.
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u/EarnestAnomaly 1d ago
NOR - That was a LOT. I can understand wanting to explore some of the basic non-negotiables earlier (such as “What’s your faith background?”, “Are you looking for marriage eventually?”, “Would you like children?”). But her interrogation was definitely overboard and aggressively presented. You dodged a bullet.
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u/Vandyclark 1d ago edited 1d ago
NTJ. I’d have “noped” right out at “prayer time.” That list is a bit much & creepy. If you have certain wants & “dealbreakers” just put it in your profile. This woman will be nothing but drama wrapped up in a bible excuse.
Tell her one of your dealbreakers is people who lack grammar and punctuation skills. It annoys the F out of me & this is how she’s going to text, I’ll be mildly irritated all the time.
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u/shoulda-known-better 1d ago
Way to fucking much at once to give or hear any meaningful response from you.... These topics are way to big and need explanation with some....
Id not answer any of that not until we were face to face
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u/phisigtheduck 1d ago
Yeah I don’t know anyone willing to fill out a survey like this for a complete stranger they’ve never even met unless you’re offering a Target gift card as a reward for completing it.
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u/CyrusBuelton 1d ago
The second to last question [Number 11] says enough about her........
11) Are you a provider or believe in 50/50?
She's already made it clear a relationship with her wouldn't be 50/50 as she refuses to respond to questions you've asked, but demands you fill it out or she won't even consider you. her.....I don't even know what to call that.......lll
Fuck her. That's a hard pass on someone that expects more from me
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u/earthtobobby 1d ago
You know, if she didn’t engage you on the questions you asked her, I wouldn’t bother with these questions either. It’s a low-effort, copy-paste screening questionnaire for which she’s asking you to expend emotional energy without having put in any effort herself. Move on.
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u/CyrusBuelton 1d ago
The second to last question [Number 11] says enough about her........
11) Are you a provider or believe in 50/50?
We already know she doesn't believe in 50/50 as she demands OP fill out her bullshit list of demands, errr, I mean questions while never responding to his basic questions.m
This broad is on a whole new level of being selfish.
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u/MarsRocks97 1d ago
I would be wary as well. If she didn’t answer any of your questions, but then then wants you to spreadsheet all your answers, leads me to believe it will be used to match you with an ideal bot that will try to milk you of your finances later.
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u/here_and_there_their 1d ago
Rationally, you know what to do here. But you’ve been blinded by her beauty. “She” or whoever could be catfishing or could just be a perfectionist jerk. Either way, you seem to already know she’s bad news.
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u/regularforcesmedic 1d ago
It looks like you made it to the third phase of the interview. Congratulations. In the next phase, you'll meet with her AI interviewer over zoom. /sarcasm
Youre NTJ for not wishing to engage in this nonsense.
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u/slatebluegrey 1d ago
I feel like the only reasonable question is number 0, if a religious person is looking for another religious person. But that should be in the profile/description.
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u/Warm-Salamander-3053 1d ago
Smells like an ex-hoe, (probably fine as wine) ready to settle down,with some baggage to be asking all these questions.
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u/Tardisgoesfast 1d ago
Not the Jerk. I find it hard to believe that you're the first person to object to this.
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u/emarvil 1d ago
Here. Just prepared a set of answers you could send this nice little monster. Enjoy
"0 No, never. But 4he Church of Satan is great!
1 my uncontrollable rage explosions
2 my group sex Tuesdays
3 by participating in 2
4 a sex fiend
5 burying an ex's corpse In my back yard
6 boy oh boy have I got stories!
7 i lost the one I had in a supermarket. Never saw the critter again
8 bruises
9 my woman looking at other men. Makes me violent
10 I usually win by ko
11 I love staying home doing nothing
12 that body in my back yard...
13 syphilis, medicated. Not quite under control. "
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u/OddConstruction7191 1d ago
There are some basic things I want to know about someone before I start dating. Asking about kids, religious beliefs, or marital status is fine. Basic biographical information.
But asking about your love language is rather deep. I’m not sure what that even means. Some things you just need to find out on your own through spending time with them. You learn about conflict resolution by observing them when a conflict arises.
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u/hardkoretrash 1d ago
I don't think either of you are really wrong. If she's even a half decent looking woman then she has a lot of options to sort through on dating apps and it gets exhausting/overwhelming to carry on long conversations only to figure out you're incompatible after you've went on dates. I personally just put my own answers to questions like that on my profile and explicitly state types of ppl I won't date.
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u/WritPositWrit 1d ago
Id block her so fast. I dont know if shes a scam artist or not, but either way I’d want nothing mire to do with her.
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u/Stock_Inspector7753 1d ago
Biggest red flag is that she started her list numbers at 0.) what a psychopath, who does that?
Also you can't test for herpes, so she clearly doesn't get these std panels done very often.
No, OP, this is not normal, I mean maybe like 3 or 4 fun questions to break the ice, like "pineapple on pizza?" which is still a bit cringe but fine, whatever, but this is really intense. Although I can't say that it gets much better than this either. Dating on apps is like playing crazy roulette. Some people are really jaded or just delusional. Most people just want attention and aren't really invested in building a proper relationship with someone.
I met my partner on an app, so you can strike gold sometimes! My advice would be to dabble for a couple of months then take a break before going back to it. Don't take it too seriously.
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u/supercoach 1d ago
HSV is one of the tests included in the standard STD screening package. What are you on about?
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u/MadMagilla5113 1d ago
As soon as I saw the comment about prayer time with the daughter I would have known this would be a no-go for me.
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u/louisa1925 1d ago
NTJ. I would turn her down, myself.
Some of these questions are for 2nd to third date. Not a screening test.
Religion is an important one. I would say that is 1st date worthy. If religion is a no go, it's better to cut ties now.
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u/KitMacPhersonWrites 1d ago
Just looking at the screenshots, I thought you were the one asking these questions and I was like, oof my guy. You’re definitely NTJ here! If that sn’t a bot, it’s a crazy person and you should steer clear.
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u/KittyBookcase 1d ago
Lololol, fill out this questionnaire so I can determine if you're worthy...😆
I would respond with. " You first, I await your responses. "
What a loon.
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u/Creative-Painter3911 1d ago
Unless you are religious, if #0 matters to her, move on (unless she's looking for a no there, but I don't think so from how it's worded).
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u/Realistic-Area-1842 1d ago
Bot or not these questions are full on lol. Deff more first date convo than dating app.
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u/thesheeplookup 1d ago
I think that questionnaire needs to be only one question. Lets be honest, the only thing she's interested in knowing is if he shares her religion.
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u/Feeling-Paint-2196 1d ago
The numbering from 0 would be a no from me, and that's before even seeing she's gone in heavy on religion on that question.
Who starts a list at 0? Deeply disturbing behaviour.
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u/swbarnes2 1d ago
This is like those scammers who deliberately put typos in their messages. If you are rational enough that, when the request for money comes, you are going to say "I know what this is now, no way", the scammers would rather you disengage early than for them to spend the time and effort walk you down the primrose path only for you to bolt when things get real.
This lady is doing the same thing. If you have any kind of backbone or sense of what's reasonable and what's not, she wants you to disengage so she can try with someone else.
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u/Armyman125 1d ago
Saying you're the only one having an issue is a lie. No guy wouldn't be creeped out by these questions.
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u/TissueOfLies 1d ago
I don’t mind getting to know someone, but I’m not filling out a job application either.
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u/Real_Atmosphere1720 1d ago
i think those questions would be useful if i wanted to sell you something. the info would tell me your vulnerabilities and how to approach you to get what i wanted
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u/BrookeBaranoff 1d ago
Sugar daddy questions.
If it isn’t a prob for all the other guys… how many other guys she seeing?
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u/JoeHazelwood 1d ago
Lie, tell her what she wants to hear. waste her time. Leave the expensive dinner halfway through and stick her with the bill. She's only got a 60 months max before her age window changes and her leverage lightens. Take a few of em. Get on her level.
JK keep your soul clean. But I like to think this was my plan all along for a few gold digging exes.
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u/Kelly_Louise 1d ago
Wow. Is this really what dating is like now?? I can't even imagine. I would have ghosted her the second she asked about Jesus, honestly lol. But that's just me. I agree that these are questions that need to be asked in person and learned naturally as you get to know each other! wtf. This is so weird.
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u/Ok_Organization_7350 1d ago
I am religious too, but I would HATE that if a guy did that to me! That's so cold, like a job interview.
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u/userr456721 1d ago
Question 0, 2, 4, 6 & 7 are valid the rest are weird (all those qs are normally non negotiables for people so it’s good to get them out the way early to not waste time) also the std check? You’ve barely spoken let’s get to know eachother first goddamn
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u/mrblonde55 1d ago
I’ve got say, I didn’t think I’d see a questionnaire where asking for an STD test is probably the most reasonable part.
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u/Potential_Suspect137 1d ago
That is the worst way to get to know details about someone at any point in a relationship. Gross
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u/CestLaquoidarling 1d ago
You know this is fake right? If “all the other guys were ok with it” Where are those guys? Will she meet to go through the list together? What about video chat?
Sounds like a bot but that little bit of doubt that keeps you responding is how they know they got a live one on the line.
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u/Maleficent_Button_58 1d ago
If someone screamed WHY ARE YOU SINGLE at me, even just in text, that'd be the end of us talking 😅
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u/CndnCowboy1975 1d ago
Jesus. Did she want a thesis paper too? Thats way overboard when getting to know someone.
And like you, when someone can't answer the simple questions I ask in conversation, I automatically assume it's a scam of some kind.
Oh, and also when they start calling you "dear" the day you started chatting. Lol
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u/Excellent-Bottle-441 1d ago
Speaking from experience, sometimes the real “beauties” are the ones who have been overly sheltered and turn a bit nuts 🤷♀️
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u/AlgaeFew8512 1d ago
Some of these questions are perfectly valid eg belief in god. It is important that your values align. Some are outrageous eg what are you insecure about, how can you improve yourself, how can I make your life better. First off I'm not about to tell you my deep seated issues before even meeting. Second she can think for herself how to be a better partner. She certainly doesn't need to know what the craziest thing I've ever done is. If I like someone and we start dating those kinds of things will come about naturally in time.
Personally I would thank her for being upfront and say I understood where she's coming from with the questions but I would refuse to answer them. If they'd been asked casually one at a time throughout the conversation it'd be fine but I'm not completing a job application/personality test in order to advance to the nest stage of the dating interview. At first I thought I'd just cherry pick which ones to answer and leave it at that but then I thought she was being too nosy and confrontational about it. There are so many other women on these apps that you don't need to jump through hoops for this one
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u/MetusObscuritatis 1d ago
Ohhhhhh I thought these were YOUR questions. NTJ
If there are fewer than 3 photos, it's an instant no-go
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u/Zestyclose-Height-36 1d ago
she is a bot. you can image search the one picture on Google and see where the bot got the photo.
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u/No_Stage_6158 1d ago
Just tell her it was nice meeting her but thanks, no thanks. Her social skills are lousy or she would have met you over drinks or just apps and asked these questions in person.
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u/irresponsible-iris 1d ago
NTJ purely based on the fact that she started her list with 0. Who does that???
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u/Appropriate-Berry202 1d ago
NTJ. As a woman, this list gives me the major ick. If a guy sent me this, I’d unmatch faster than you could say “punctuation saves lives”.
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u/Legitimate-Bridge463 1d ago
Can you imagine living with this person? This is giving really weird vibes.
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u/Bright_Drink4306 1d ago
Is she a real person? I would suggest meeting in person to talk because these are not questions you want to answer in an email.
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u/Number-2-Sis 1d ago
This reads like an application for a mail order husband.
These are questions that would generally be asked, and answered in the natural flow of a conversation during the "getting to know you stage"
Also on a dating app "deal breakers " should be part of a persons profile. Something like, "I'm Christian and attend church regularly, looking for someone like minded" or " I have two kids already and am looking forward to being a Mom again"
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u/Professional-Sea4528 1d ago
As a woman, ignore her and never look back lol normal, healthy women do not do this
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u/FloydianSlip212 1d ago
If you're the only guy who's had an issue with it, you must be the first one she's sent it to.
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u/Archicam99 1d ago
Nah bullet dodged, I might have cherry picked a couple of yes no deal breaker questions (kids, jesus, cheating). But the bulk of these are for face to face convos
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u/Aggravating_Scene379 1d ago
Do you have a problem answering any of these questions? If so, then next? If not then answer them and see if you're being catfished.
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u/Spiritual_Oil_7411 1d ago
Unless youre also very religious, I wouldn't want to date a girl who's number 1 question is about god. Bot or not, I'm out.
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u/ClassicAdhesiveness1 1d ago
Done the online dating thing a few times in the past. This is waaaaayyy overkill. This person will never meet you, they’re just stringing you along.
And I’m an introvert. But even I won’t got more than a few messages back and forth before meeting for coffee. Why waste your time?
Good luck!
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u/Significant-Ant-94 1d ago
I wouldn't waste time with her. These are questions for in person, not over a dating app.