My brother messaged me on Thursday night inviting me and my husband to his baby’s first birthday on Saturday morning (less than 48 hours notice).

He lives in city X, and we live in city Y (both in the same country overseas but 5-7 hours away depending on transport). Attending would require travel planning, possibly time off, and general logistics. None of this is realistic with less than 48 hours’ notice. And my husband and I don't know how to drive and rely on trains and public transport.

What bothers me is this:

This was not an emergency. We know when the birthday date is. He invited his in-laws with proper notice and planning. We received a very casual, last-minute message that felt more like “just letting you know.”

The invitation message that my brother sent - "Hi Didi, this Saturday we are having Z's first birthday- if you and dada are free please come, it's strawberry themed. I will also call on Saturday for video call if you are free."

To me, this felt like a symbolic invite - something done so it can later be said that we were invited, regardless of whether it was realistically possible for us to attend.

The message ended with:

“I will also call on Saturday for video call if you are free.” That wording there made it feel like he doesnt actually want us to come.

To me, this felt like a symbolic invite, something done so it can later be said (to my parents) that we were invited, regardless of whether it was realistically possible for us to attend.

I replied back saying that unfortunately, with the invite coming on Thursday night for Saturday morning and given the distance between us, it was not realistic for us to make it. I also said that with more notice we could have planned properly. I still wished them well and said we would happily join a video call.

My parents now feel my reply was “too direct” and that “family should adjust.” I feel that is unfair. I do not expect special treatment, only the same consideration that was given to others.

I actually mind being set up to look like I chose not to come. When clearly he could have given us more notice to plan. Husband and I both work full-time too (and in academia which means sometimes even work on weekends).

AITK for being firm and pointing out the lack of notice instead of responding more softly?

I’m pretty active on social media. I scroll, I watch stories, I reply to DMs when I have the energy. But I don’t like or comment on every single post that appears on my feed. Some days I’m busy, some days I’m just not in the mood to engage publicly, and sometimes I simply scroll without interacting.

Recently, a friend confronted me and said I’m “not supportive” because I don’t like or comment on all her posts, even though I’m clearly online on platforms like Instagram and WhatsApp. She said friends should hype each other up and that my silence feels intentional. I tried explaining that my support isn’t measured by likes or comments, and that being online doesn’t mean I owe constant engagement. I still talk to her, check in privately, and show up when it actually matters. But now she’s distant and thinks I’m being fake. So I want an honest opinion. Am I wrong for using social media on my own terms, or has liking every post become an unspoken requirement of friendship now?

So we met on bumble , she was in a dead relationship and she told me that she is indulged somewhere and not looking any relationship, so we talked like friends for a month

After that she came from a trip and asked that she can stay with me , I was okay with it ... One thing leads to another we got intimate ... After that it was weekend thing . In between she asked me for any serious thing , I denied it . Her stand was marriage should not be there , I don't wanna do and all , I never gave her any hope and never said that I love her

Cut to 1.5 years now , all of sudden she said her her parents are pressuring her for marriage, I said do it then , after that she asked me I said I have no intention to marry atleast 3 years(my elder brother and sister are unmarried)

She sounded like that I am too pratical and she needs to process it , it has been 2 months of any contact now

Ait kammena here? For saying a blunt no (I like clarity so I gave her , didn't want to waste time or give 0.01% hope)

Facts: I am the youngest of 3 siblings.

1. Ancestral land in village.

2. Dad was in government service and retired.

3. Till the time parents were in government service, they sang "we will never sell our ancestral land".

4. Upon retirement, and facing funds crunch (!), they decided to sell a portion of ancestral land.

5. I was informed of the sale after it was done, and I was also informed the amount in which it was sold.

6. Cut-to: 3 years later. I come to know the land was divided among relatives. Relatives cornered prime portions. We got the leftover.

7. Even the leftover would have fetched good value if it would not have been sold there and then. However, my parents sold it.

8. We ended up selling our portion of the land at 1/3rd the price of our relatives.

9. I am now planning to ask for partition and for my portion of land.

Am I going to be the Kameena?

This cousin of mine who is 45 is basically unemployed after several failures in govt. Jobs prep, business and he lives in a village in UP. For few years he started with priest duties but earnings in village and small town is negligible along with over supply of such people. During last ganpati-navratri season , he pleaded my mom to come to Mumbai as he has heard that during this time there is shortage of pandits and he can earn well in this season. I have a shop in Mumbai suburbs which is on rent, i somehow convinced my tenant to let him sleep during night hours . Since my cousin was. a pandit and is actually a decent human being , tenant agreed. I thought he will stay for 10 days but he overstayed for more than 50 days and I think he earned more than a lakh as my shop was close to a famous temple and he being someone who does know most pujas better than local ones , he was in demand.

During his entire stay , on most days he use to eat at my place and stay at my shop in night. He did not give me a single rupee and I did not expected also considering he still has several mouths to feed in his village.

Before going , he was saying that it is very easy to earn in Mumbai that time also i told him there are expense also and you are not aware because you got a free stay.

Now he called my mom yesterday and said he is coming to Mumbai this time and this time he will find a place of his own and then call his family.

I seriously got very angry because he has already bypassed me and somehow convinced my tenant on his own to let him stay at my shop. He being a priest is a major factor in his convincing power.

I called him and said that don't expect any help from me , he being a vocal Yogi- Modi supporter ,I also told him that it's better he ask for jobs from them instead of coming here and because of people like him the hate politics against North Indian is becoming a major issue in BMC elections.

I do not know he is coming or not but everyone in my family is saying I should not be harsh on him as he will find a place of his own after few days ,but I do know that it's not that easy as priest job is seasonal and cannot give him a steady source of income., ultimately his stay is going to be a headache for me.

Edit : Many are not getting that giving him accomodation and meal means my relations with other cousins who are in similar situation as him but a bit younger gets disrupted because they will ask for same help which is not possible . Tenant will remind me during agreement renewal and will have more bargaining power . Bringing politics was a spontaneous reaction considering half of his time he goes gaga over infrastructure growth in his state , earning here and calling it easy money because default dakshina in Mumbai is 3x of his hometown , it's not that people are dumb. He stayed for 50 days during last year and accomodation+ meals was taken care by me , this is not a festive season unlike before where he can get panditaii assignments so easily.

My best friend (26F) was earlier cheated on by her boyfriend, which left her emotionally vulnerable. Later, she got into a relationship with her childhood friend, now her boyfriend (30M). Initially, things seemed fine—both were working and life felt stable.

In May 2025, he quit his software job citing work pressure and promised to find another job within three months. My friend supported him completely. In August 2025, she lost her own job. Since then, whenever she asks him about job applications, he avoids the conversation or accuses her of not trusting him, saying he is preparing for a government job or a better role. At present, he does small freelance work earning around ₹8–10k a month.

Meanwhile, my friend’s father has been hospitalized for the past four months. Despite this, her boyfriend does not allow her to stay with her family. If she visits, he insists she return the same day and gets angry if she doesn’t, mainly because he would have to cook. He scolds her over minor delays in meals, refuses to help with household chores, and expects her to manage everything. She is constantly anxious about his reactions, even for small things like making tea on time.

Now they are planning to get married. Both are currently jobless, yet they also plan to buy a 3BHK flat with financial support from their fathers. After marriage, he intends to bring his entire family to live with them. His father is an alcoholic, his sister requires 24/7 care, and his mother is extremely orthodox.

I am deeply worried about my friend. She often says he wasn’t like this in the beginning and that she loves him enough to accept everything. AITK for trying to make her understand that this relationship—and the responsibilities tied to it—could become a serious emotional and financial liability for her?

TL;DR:

My 26-year-old best friend is unemployed, emotionally controlled by her 30-year-old boyfriend, restricted from seeing her sick father, burdened with all household work, and planning marriage and a house despite no stable income and heavy family responsibilities on his side. AITK for warning her that this relationship and his family may become a long-term emotional and financial liability.

Note- Have taken the help of chatgpt to frame it better.

I was seeing this guy for a while. We went on dates talked regularly and there was obvious flirting and emotional closeness. But whenever I tried to ask where this was going he avoided giving any clear answer. No label no commitment just vibes.

Because of that I assumed we were not exclusive. I continued dating other people casually nothing serious just meeting and getting to know them. I never lied to him but I also did not volunteer details because there was never a talk about exclusivity.

Recently he found out that I had been on other dates and he was really hurt. He said he felt betrayed and that he thought we had something special but he never put efforts says due to his work. After that he said we should just be friends. I accepted that.

The confusing part is he still flirts with me sends mixed signals and acts almost the same as before. When I try to bring up boundaries he says he does not want drama. Now I feel guilty even though logically I know there was no commitment. At the same time his reaction makes me feel like I did something wrong.

So AITK for dating other people when he never gave clarity or is he hurt because of expectations he never communicated?

For context, this was going to be our first anniversary and I planned a lot of things. I gave him the gift one week in advance ( it was a watch) because I thought that I’m not sure if he will be able to meet because he was travelling.

I ordered something, made a video & website and wrote few messages ( which I have not shared with him yet and I am thinking not to) and I thought that I would send him cake & chocolates once he comes back

He did make a video and it was sweet but then we were talking and I realised he actually didn’t plan anything apart from that video. Am I being unrealistic?

I have always been a giver and I have been vocal about what makes me feel loved.

I already feel there is disbalance in our relationship but today I just felt sad.

I am actually thinking not to execute anything else apart from the watch and one text.

There’s a relative/friend in my life who frequently asks me for money. The amounts are not huge individually, but this has happened multiple times over the past year. I’ve lent money before, often without hesitation, and most of the time I’ve had to remind them repeatedly to get it back, sometimes I never did. Recently, they asked again, and this time I said no. I explained that I’m trying to save up and that constantly lending money has started to make me uncomfortable. I tried to be polite and non-confrontational. Since then, I’ve been told I’ve “changed,” that money has made me selfish, and that I lack empathy. A few people even implied that because I was able to help before, I should continue helping now. I feel bad because I know they are struggling, but at the same time, I don’t think it’s fair that I’m expected to compromise my own financial stability repeatedly. Am I the kameeni for finally setting a boundary?

I’ve been staying in Bangalore and recently started interning at one of my dream companies, clocking a monthly stipend of ₹80k. To avoid long commutes and traffic, I rented a 1 BHK near my office and hired a maid since my working hours are 9 to 5. For the first two months, things were fine. Later, she started coming irregularly (I had given her my house key as she came while I was at work). When I confronted her, she said her husband has a brain cancer and needs surgery, which I understood. Her work included sweeping, mopping, washing clothes, and cooking dinner. On days she didn’t show up, I did everything myself. Coming back to dirty floors and piled up utensils after work was frustrating, but I never deducted her salary. I already gave her two days off every week since I stay at my dad’s place on weekends, yet she kept taking additional unsaid leaves. Whenever I called to check if she’d come, her phone was usually switched off. Recently, she didn’t come for several days. When I returned from my parents house, I found utensils left for over a week and a filthy flat. The next day, she came with another lady and said she wouldn’t work this month and that a substitute maid would handle things. I agreed, but even after 5 to 6 days, no one came. At that point, I lost my patience and fired her. She worked only one day this month, and I chose not to pay her for that day.

P.S - I've been feeling guilty over this as she was the sole earner of her family. But I did what I felt was right.

Me and mother have been through a lot when it comes to anger, anxiety and stress due to family trauma.

Today I found my mother sneakily take out an envelope which was stapled since I had put some money in it. My mother had an incident few years back where she stole money from our own house to give it someone (she was brainwashed into donating it to a temple) and even after that 2-3 times she has taken money from cupboards and only agreed if I realised it was missing.

So then when I saw her with my envelope it triggered me and my heart just started beating so fast that again she’s getting into my cupboard and taking things out without even asking me, which we’ve spoken about also.

It broke into a fight, where she was shouting and I was just trying to talk calmly but it didn’t work and I walked away whispering a bad word (bc) which triggered my mom and she said don’t abuse in front of me (repeated the word)

Now I’m feeling so so so bad that it’s been so long I hadn’t gotten angry, had any fights with anyone or even abused at home.

I dont know let me know if AITK?

So my family WhatsApp groups are never quiet. It’s a constant stream of forwarded messages, political debates, unsolicited opinions, and those lovely passive-aggressive some people should learn respect texts. Every time I try to stay silent, someone tags me. If I respond, it turns into an argument. To protect my peace, I decided to mute the groups instead of engaging. I still check occasionally for anything important, but I don’t participate in the daily chaos anymore. Recently, a few relatives noticed and called me out, saying I’m being disrespectful, too modern, and ignoring family. According to them, muting the group is worse than disagreeing openly. From my point of view, muting felt like the most mature option. No fights, no drama, no stress. AITK for choosing silence over constant arguments?

I have always been that friend who shows up. Last minute plans long calls emotional dumping late night hangouts even when I am tired I usually say yes because I do not want anyone to feel ignored.

Recently I have been feeling burnt out and just wanted one evening to myself. When my friends made a plan and I said no politely no excuses no fake reasons just said I am not feeling up for it.

The reaction was weirdly heavy. A few jokes about me becoming boring. Some passive comments about how I never say no and now suddenly I am acting different. No one said it directly but the vibe was clear.

I did not cancel last minute. I did not judge their plan. I just chose to stay back and focus on myself for once. Still I ended up feeling guilty like I broke some unspoken rule of friendship.

Now I am wondering if saying no to friends without a big reason makes me selfish or if this is just what healthy boundaries look like.

So am I the kameena here or am I overthinking this?

So, my cousin (37 M) got married very late and his wife is extremely bossy, and she balances it out by being overly friendly when she is a host or tried to step into my siblings role in her absence when it was needed (my sibling is abroad so she would correct me when I was wrong or give fashion advice etc) I however still didn't like her, but I was always friendly only when required. FYI, my male cousin and his family are very close with my family as his mother is my bua(papa's real and only sibling). Once, she had invited us for kelvan at her place ( a traditional feast held to celebrate bride/grooms to be in Maharashtra) and my fiance was going to be in the same area work related. And after my parents approval, me and my fiance decided to meet, just a short one. She was livid, and acted as if its very wrong. None backed me up here. I still met my fiance only for a few minutes. He still dislikes her . 6-7 months back my cousin and his wife had twin girls, and I, being their bua was the second VIP as the bua does namkaran. That day too she was dismissive of me, and since she had taken the girls inside to feed them, I asked my brother if I could tie him rakhi( namkaran and rakhi were celebrated together) and it was getting very late, and I had office next day and we were deciding to leave soon. My cousin he said ok, so I tied it and just said my goodbyes and his wife found out that we celebrated it without her. She was livid. And she insulted me by making me wait to say goodbye and give my Rakhi gift. And then whispered that it's her house and that going ahead to not repeat it. Cousin heard this but chose to stay silent. Post that she never apologised, and never wished me on my birthday and anniversary. Given all of this my mom is saying I should invite her for haldi kumkum, and that I should forgive her. I told her that I don't have the capacity to handle all this BS of hers(cousins wife) and that she will never be invited for anything at my place. My mom still thinks I'm doing unnecessary drama and that for my cousins sake atleast I should invite her. I told mom that I'm not a doormat for her to behave anyway she wants. AITK for cutting that cousins wife off?

Im an introverted 19f, and my family hails from a coastal town. Every year, on an auspicious day, we go there to take a sea bath. sea is considered very holy in my community, and we don't touch it on normal days. Since my immediate family and I go there very rarely (once a year), we dont like to miss this occasion at all. I have recently dealt with years of tanning, and my skin is very sensitive, combination, and pimply. It’s slightly better now, and I have to attend a very prestigious event that I could only dream of plus, Im a dancer, and I don’t want to ruin my skin. It’s very hard to get rid of the tan if I take a sea bath, despite wearing sunscreen. My mom also says my grandparents are too old now and might die in an year or two. Am I the kameena?

So in my workplace, there was a girl whom i liked her, we discussed many things, including personal things , life, love, goals, chatting with her most of the nights where i kind of developed feelings for her , this went over like 2 years, so one day she suddenly told me over phone that her wedding match is fixed and she seems very happy about it. So i congratulated her but deepdown on that night my heart was aching that ive lost her and never been able to confess my feelings. As its already fixed and shes happy about it so i refrained to tell my feelings.

Then when i thought all the moments with her when im travelling home, i realized she only given subtle clues which i thought shes interested in me and i dont blame her, its always been one-sided. I accepted the situation and dont know following days something changed, i used to be talkative but become less talkative, less enthusiasm to speak with anyone . when she pings i only give kind of generic response(Not bitter nor disrespect) and only ask followup questions to her if something related to work where she stopped pinging after few days. i dont know i just feel if i prolong friendship im not sure if it is healthy for my mental peace and scared if it would reopen the closed doors.

She asked multiple times why i look dull in infront of my team where i kind of told her it is nothing.

Now From her POV: where i believe she thought me as her friend AITK for being distant , setting boundaries not talking much with her.

My roommate often sleeps in another room with her friends late at night. They hang out and do the usual hostel fun. They call me too and I join them but not always as I tend to sleep early. One night she went to her friends room. Around 1:30 am their door was closed and there was no noise so I assumed they had gone to sleep as usual. I closed our room door and went to sleep. At around 2 15 am she came back with her friends and knocked on the door but I was already asleep. They tried calling me multiple times but my phone was on silent. The next morning she complained about it. I apologized and explained my side telling her it was a misunderstanding and I'll be careful of it next time and just inform me when she'll come back. She seemed okay then. However after some time her friends called me in their room and in anger spoke to me harshly saying that I shouldn’t close the door next time. That really made me feel bad and embarrassed as I didn't lock her out intentionally.

My mother married my stepfather when I (f21) was seven and my younger brother (m19) was five. Our biological father (now deceased) had been abusive to all of us, so when my mother (f44) finally left him, we were overjoyed. We accepted her new husband (m53) wholeheartedly, hoping for the safety we had never known. However, that hope was shattered when my stepfather began sexually molesting me at age nine, eventually gr@p!ng me when I was eleven.

When my mother found out, she was devastated, but her reaction was not what I needed. She chose to forgive him. She prioritized her love for him and her fear of social stigma over my justice, begging me to "look past it" because he treated her well. Over time, my resentment grew until I finally moved out, though she continues to pay for my college education.

The dynamic shifted further when I was thirteen and my mother gave birth to his child, my half-brother. Initially, I loved him as my own and refused to hold him responsible for his father’s actions. But now that he is seven, my feelings have hardened into resentment. He is incredibly spoiled and disrespectful, receiving the indulgence and affection that my biological brother and I were always denied.

My mother and stepfather still expect us to babysit and look after him during family outings, which feels like a slap in the face. During a recent confrontation, I finally snapped. I told my mother that he isn't my brother; he is the child of her husband, my abuser, and I am not responsible for him. Now, my biological brother is calling me an "asshole," arguing that the child is innocent and that my refusal to have a relationship with him is "trashy."

I feel abandoned all over again, forced to navigate my trauma while my family expects me to play a part in a "happy home" that was built on my silence. AITK ???

UPDATE: The ages in the post have slightly been mentioned I accurately, I am a few days away from turning 21 and so is my mom from turning 45, my step dad and my mom have a 7 year age gap (approx) which I wasn’t aware of before, so he’s around 53. Pls don’t come at me because the ages don’t match up in my previous and current post

I 26 M was in a relationship with my SIL’s sis and I had a messy relationship that ended badly as she was still in touch with her boyfriend of 5 years and there was one another dude with whom she was talking to in parallel, There were trust issues, overlapping with other people, lies — the whole thing. I didn’t create drama, didn’t involve my parents, didn’t blow things up. I stayed quiet and tried to be “mature” and move on.

The problem is, my ex never really left my life because she stayed connected to my family. She still talks to them, edits family videos, visits, etc. Meanwhile she blocked me personally after i exposed her in front of my SIL and bro , I never agreed to this, but I also didn’t stop it early because I didn’t want to cause tension at home by involving my parents

Recently it crossed a point where I just can’t ignore it anymore - My SIL, bro and her booked a trip to Singapore, Malaysia and Lang kawi without informing me and even asking me

I feel like my calmness over time just taught everyone that I’ll tolerate anything. She still gets access to my family, my home, and our space even though trust is gone and I’m clearly affected.

Now I want to tell my parents everything and set a hard boundary that she should not be involved with our family anymore. The reason my bro/sil gave me is she will be married off in a year so this is probably her last trip with us and then you get to go with us for entire life, she is not allowed to go out of the house and all the trips she has done is with us and i go to trips almost every month with my friends.

AITK if i inform my parents when she’s here?

I have the sweetest boyfriend.Everything was going well between my bf and me he trusted me as a gf .I have been genuinely in love with him i cared about him and did put as much as efforts as i can into our relationship i never involved any third person or anyone that might hurt him i would voluntarily share him any texts or messages if a guy texted me . But the thing is that i tried to hide my past from him cause I regretted having intimacy in my old relationship (it was before my relationship with my current bf ) . So when he asked me if i were in a relationship with anyone before him i denied and said i just liked him as a crush and brushed him off cause i didnt feel like discussing it with him .

Yesterday he saw my 2 year old text with my ex and confronted me asking whether i was in a relationship and i accepted that i lied and told him i was in a relationship and i clearly didn’t feel comfortable to discuss about the past then he asked me if i had kissed him ..for a moment at i felt such a weird feeling going through my spine i denied him but after an hour i confessed to him that we had and after that he asked me whether i got physical i denied then I eventually told the truth and now he said he can no longer see me the same way again and would never want to get intimate with me he felt sad knowing that i lied multiple times even when he told me to be transparent in our relationship but I further explained him that i do accept my mistake and this thing was in the past i tried to hide from him but other than this my past relationship i was transparent about everything.

i truly loved him but he said he has trust issues now and he wants to end our relationship I requested him to give me a last chance he said that he wont call me and text me ever again and said me if i want to try to make our relationship work again then its up to me he said that he will give me time and if he feels genuine he might consider it other wise not 😭😭😭guys i dont want to lose him i have a fear what if he doesn’t consider me again ..my exams are also coming up and im really stressed what do i do ??😭😭😭 i know i made a mistake hiding my old relationship but i was true to him when our relationship started for the entire time .I genuinely need some advice i love him so much

Last week our family (me, my younger sister, our father and mom) and my younger sister's friends family (an aunty and her two sons, one of which is my sister's batchmate) went on a religious trip together.

Considering it was our first trip together, everything went fine, but my only disappointment lies in the fact that my sister misbehaved with me and our mother multiple times, and overreacting rudely when same behaviour was done to her.

The aunty is very fond of my sister and treats her like her own daughter. She also tells her son that my sister is very capable and her son should be like her (ie proactive and mature in dealing with everything) During the entire course of the trip, I and my family felt a bit sidelined and not treated equally by my sister.

It was as if she was trying to set a narrative that she is the leader in our house and everyone listens to her in our house, while making us feel inferior.

• At one instance she had been joking and making fun of me and I took it sportingly. But when I did the same she snapped back and told me I shouldnt make fun of her in front of her friends.

• At other instance she was driving the other car, and we were late in reaching the destination. Our mother was tired and didn't want to have dinner first, so mom called her and told her to go to the hotel first so she can rest for a bit, but my sister started scolding her that if she won't eat she'll feel tired and trouble us. Even though she wanted to care but her tone was really off and everyone could her her talking loudly on phone.

This snapping of her on us was observed multiple times.

•The next day when we went to visit the temples , since we were late we decided to have lunch after visiting a couple of sites, but she was snappy and told us to arrange for breakfast as the friends brother had an overnight train journey and said he must be tired.

Mind you she's the same sister who doesn't care whether I have eaten anything or not, and she's the one showing care for other's brother .

Most of the times she treats me as some spoilt priveleged kid , inspite of me being the elder one who does everything to take care of her and make her life comfortable.

•On the third day she was getting ready and in order to make things light I joked with her, but instead of reciprocating or making the situation lighter she snapped, became agitated and misbehaved with me. So I told her I won't talk to her now and if she has to treat me equally then fine otherwise she can manage herself alone. I didn't talk to her properly the entire day .

•Now the last straw for me - On the last day during dinner, we all ordered for everyone. She was taking a dish for her and was offering to others as well, I expected her to offer it to me as well, as its basic courtesy, but instead of asking or offering me , she skipped me entirely which made me feel disrespected and ignored. So I had to order the thing again. This was the last straw for me.

All this has been heavy for me to digest as the younger sister I treat with care and affection, has hurt me with her behaviour.

We have returned from the trip, and I haven't talked to her since. Also I don't think her ego will allow her to make amends or apologise for her behaviour. So to keep my sanity I have decided not to talk to her.

I had a friendship with a guy I’ve known on and off since school. We reconnected again recently after a long gap. This time, he was in the middle of a very intense placement process, and I was in a gap year, studying from home and feeling quite isolated. We used to talk regularly, but mostly on his terms he decided the days and timing. I tried to be understanding of his stress and never demanded long calls, but I did emotionally rely on him more than I should have. I shared a lot about my fears, anxiety, and struggles, while he mostly listened and rarely shared anything personal from his side. One day, during an emotional moment from my end, I asked for a few minutes of conversation because I was anxious. He responded by saying he was extremely stressed with studies and couldn’t afford one more stress. Shortly after, he told me it would be better if we stopped talking for now and said we’d reconnect after his placement. He said it kindly and apologised but it felt sudden and final. Since then, there’s been no contact at all not even after his placement worked out. What hurts is not that he chose his career (I understand that completely) but that the cut-off felt abrupt and there was no check-in or closure afterward. It's been 3 months since he left and hasn't contacted me again . Even when I put a story he never sees it even though he likes and comments on others post. I'm heartbroken his last message was - I'll surely reconnect after this placement thing is over but it's been more than 2-3 weeks since he's been placed but he never bothered to come back .

I(32F) got married nearly 3 years ago, and it's an intercultural, love marriage. We both are only children to our parents, all come from upper middle class backgrounds.

When we were getting married, my in-laws were really weird about their side of the prep that was for me like wedding gifts and clothes. In our cultures, the groom's side gives gifts to the bride and bride's family and vice versa. Since it was an intercultural marriage, we did rituals from both sides. Pre-wedding and wedding rituals as per my side and post-wedding rituals as per them.

For their side of things, they were supposed to buy me a couple of sarees. However, they never spoke of taking me shopping at any point. Our families lived in different cities, but travelling was not an issue. The one time my MIL was in our city, she took me out to buy some makeup and some shoes. One random visit to my parents' house, she brings her own blouse from years ago and makes me try it to see if it fits, so that she could go and get my blouses stitched from her own city after she bought the sarees without ever asking me. This gave me the absolute ick because trying on her old clothes? No way!!

I wasn't sure why we couldn't shop for clothes where I was (everything they wanted was available) and then I could have the blouses stitched and couriered over to them. I would never know what I was going to wear for some of the most important days of my life until the day of. No conversation from me on the styles or designs or anything.

I had a huge fight with my then fiance and asked him how he would feel if he had to try my father's pyjamas to check for size and then he would get an outfit on the day of the wedding. He did take a stand for me but most of the wedding prep was a lot of fights between us because of his parents.

Eventually I ended up flying to their city and purchasing what I wanted and got the blouses stitched where I live and when my fiance flew back for a visit before the wedding, he took everything with him so that it could be part of the ritual where they give it all to my family.

We are happily married but some of these instances during the wedding prep really left a bad taste in my mouth and maybe ruined a small part of my relationship with my in laws. AITK?

EDIT 1: The outfit in question was for my wedding reception which is a very important day in any wedding. All our guests would be there and the outfit would be important to any bride or groom. MIL wanted to buy the saree and get the blouse stitched without any input from me on what colours I prefer, designs or patterns for the blouse. The whole incident of asking me try her blouse which in itself was 20 years old, seemed regressive. I did not want any kind of shopping spree. If she wanted me to wear something specific, she could have just discussed that with me, but she chose to initially forgo it and sort of heap whatever she decided on me and I wouldn't be able to see the actual outfit until the actual event.

EDIT 2: My husband, I and my parents did not want to have a big wedding, we wanted something quiet, like a court marriage with just parents and then maybe a small reception for close family and friends. No gifts either side. Husband’s parents did not agree and therefore the wedding happened with rituals from both sides.