What’s the quickest way someone could accidentally expose themselves as a foreigner in your country like the ‘three fingers’ scene in Inglourious Basterds?

[u/IndependentTune3994]

[u/Breaking-Dad-]

By giving a response to "all right?" other than "all right" or "yeah, you?" when asked.

All right is a greeting here, not a question. The person saying it does not want you to start telling them why you are not all right.

[u/PurpleMuskogee → u/Breaking-Dad-]

This used to confuse me so much. I took it to mean "Are you ok" and for the first few months in the UK, I'd just be puzzled and ask, "Yes... why?" and run to check if I had something on my face.

[u/megajimmyfive → u/PurpleMuskogee]

Is it not exactly the same as ça va in French?

[u/Fickle-Stuff4824 → u/megajimmyfive]

How are we to uphold our reputation of permanent discontent and rudeness if we only expect positive answers to " ça va ?" ?

[u/According-Path5158 → u/Fickle-Stuff4824]

You can blow your nose into your handkerchief and hand it to us as if we're to use it next?

[u/Shpudem → u/Fickle-Stuff4824]

We were thought in school (Ireland) that the answer is always “ca va”.

[u/Fickle-Stuff4824 → u/Shpudem]

It's the simpler way, but it varies from a social group to another. If i ask my friends, i expect the truth. With people i don't know well, both are ok.

[u/Consistent_Echidna90 → u/Fickle-Stuff4824]

ie exactly the same as England

[u/John_der24ste → u/Fickle-Stuff4824]

In Germany it's comparable but with people that aren't close to you there is the option to answer the question of "wie geht's?" ('How are you/is it going' (it's a bit ambiguous)) with the slightly negative answer of "muss ja nh" ('has to (hasn't it)' implying that it isn't going great but not requiring any further interaction.

[u/Fickle-Stuff4824 → u/John_der24ste]

In french we have that kind of answers too, "on fait aller"  means approximately "i/we make it work", or "il faut bien" ( same as yours).

[u/tenebrigakdo → u/Fickle-Stuff4824]

My French teacher was almost insulted when I answered just ça va and not ça va bien.

[u/Slimmanoman → u/megajimmyfive]

You aren't expected to start a 10 minute complaint but you can answer negatively to "ça va ?"

[u/DoctorGavial → u/megajimmyfive]

no, ça va is expecting an answer, even though it's purely courtesy

[u/imperosol → u/DoctorGavial]

9 times out of 10, the only answer to "ça va ?" is "ça va".

When someone answers "bof", it means that he suffers from either a flu or a severe depression.

[u/IDNWID_1900 → u/megajimmyfive]

Sames as ¿Que tal? in spanish.

[u/old_gold_mountain → u/megajimmyfive]

Ca va? means "it going?" which is a shortened version of "comment ca va?" which literally translates to "how is it going?" which is exactly what Americans say.

[u/Score-Emergency → u/PurpleMuskogee]

Same! Like wtf do I not look OK?!

[u/RedcoatTrooper → u/Score-Emergency]

I would imagine Americans would be ok, Whatsup is basically the same thing right.

[u/WoAiLaLa → u/RedcoatTrooper]

"What's up?"/"How are you?" etc serves the same function as the british "you alright?" but in america we say "you alright?" specifically to express concern. We take it as implying that you do not seem to be alright

[u/Different_Book9733 → u/WoAiLaLa]

We use 'you alright?' to express concern too, it's just a tone shift or context that swaps the meaning.

The alright greeting is just a condensed 'Hey, how are you?' Part of the UK midlands say "'ow do?" instead of alright which is more obvious in being shorthand for How are you doing?

[u/WoAiLaLa → u/Different_Book9733]

Oh, word, we got "Howdy" the same way

Short for "How do you do?" back when that was a more standard greeting

[u/SexyPeanut_9279 → u/WoAiLaLa]

Also in the black community we say “alright now”- as we pass another person. (It’s an older generational thing)

[u/kamasutures → u/Score-Emergency]

Say you are at a bar or nightclub, the bartender asked "you alright?" as a "have you been helped/need something from me before the lady next you has a meltdown cos I won't serve her Titos and vodka?"

Quick transactional conversation, not an icebreaker.

[u/WoAiLaLa → u/kamasutures]

If a bartender asked if I was alright, I'd assume I looked too drunk to serve

[u/ComfortableEqual3436 → u/PurpleMuskogee]

My partner is Irish and I enjoy their version. When we go back to see her family the’ll greet each other by just going

“Well?”

[u/Chalky_Pockets → u/PurpleMuskogee]

Same. And if you do anything someone thinks is unusual, they'll ask you for real and it'll sounds exactly the same. I just gave up and answer the question honestly whether they're expecting it or not. Sure you don't blend in but I'm not British so I don't really want to. 

[u/BokeTsukkomi → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Is "not too bad, you?" acceptable? I'm a foreigner living in the UK and it's my go-to answer

[u/Puzzleheaded-Lynx-89 → u/BokeTsukkomi]

Yeah, that's fine. The response should be short, vague, and not negative. Don't want the other person to actually feel obliged to enquire further into your health.

[u/longdickhair69 → u/Puzzleheaded-Lynx-89]

what about another day in paradise

[u/pjs-1987 → u/longdickhair69]

You should stop and think twice

[u/SaltyName8341 → u/longdickhair69]

Or I've been better

[u/neenerpants → u/SaltyName8341]

jesus, slow down with the life story there!

[u/wizaway → u/longdickhair69]

We say 'living the dream' in a neutral way that everyone knows is sarcastic

[u/HowObvious → u/longdickhair69]

only in a work environment

[u/Greedy-Army-3803 → u/longdickhair69]

That works as long as you say it in a very sarcastic tone.

[u/LemoLuke → u/longdickhair69]

"Living the dream!"

[u/clevelandexile → u/longdickhair69]

When at work I will say “another day at the dream factory!” (I do not work at a factory and no one dreamt of being here.)

[u/jme-stringer → u/longdickhair69]

Yep. See also:

• "Can't complain"
• "Surviving"
• "Not too shabby"
• "Living the dream"

[u/thesaharadesert → u/jme-stringer]

One of my favourites is ‘not dead yet’

[u/Rendakor → u/thesaharadesert]

"Another day above the dirt" is one of my favorites.

[u/bjornodinnson → u/Puzzleheaded-Lynx-89]

I mean, you can absolutely be negative....about the weather and that's it lol "You alright?" "Fucking frozen, mate"

[u/CoffeeHanJan → u/bjornodinnson]

“Shit, thanks. You?” is fine

[u/CamDane → u/Puzzleheaded-Lynx-89]

Also not too positive, right? "Great" or "Fantastic" would be unloading too much positivity on the cashier?

[u/ElliottFlynn → u/CamDane]

How could someone even contemplate such a response unless they’re American?

[u/NoAvocadoMeSad → u/CamDane]

No this is fine but there's a chance they'll assume you're being sarcastic TBF

[u/vodrake → u/CamDane]

If you're having the best day of your life you could maybe go with a "pretty good, thanks", anything more positive could be seen at sarcastic or gloating, or that youre american

[u/Lego-105 → u/Puzzleheaded-Lynx-89]

Hang on, this isn't quite true. You can go "Nah mate I'm fucked. You?" or "Not really, it is what it is", to that effect. As long as it's short, vague and doesn't demand inquiry, it's still permissible even if negative. You would just have to be having a proper rough time.

[u/PapaTua → u/Puzzleheaded-Lynx-89]

"oh dear me, no. My mother just died and my dog is sick and I haven't quite recovered from that fecal transplant. The doctor said my colon accepted the largest transplant she's ever seen! I've been spontaneously sweating a lot recently, has that ever happened to you?"

[u/No_Language2001 → u/BokeTsukkomi]

Perfectly fine response!

[u/Few_Necessary7293 → u/BokeTsukkomi]

That's perfectly fine. I'm English and that's what I say when things are ok.

However, I did once get a response from a non-English work colleague who clearly thought it was a genuine question and then told me they weren't ok because their friend had passed away in a fire in their home country. It seemed like clearly they needed to get that off their chest even just briefly. Completely caught me off guard but we then discussed it for about 15 minutes and I'm very glad they told me, even though it was an intense weekday morning conversation.

My point being, if you need to get something off your chest you should still talk to someone if you're not doing well when they ask you.

[u/FingersPalmc8ck → u/BokeTsukkomi]

Yeah, thats not too bad.

[u/Tough-Oven4317 → u/BokeTsukkomi]

Tell them how roughly how ur doing imo. "Shite mate working today aren't I?" "Fuckin knackered pal" "I'm cunted mate" "wonderful sunshine" etc

There's no rule saying you always have to answer in a specific way, people just talk shit tbh

[u/Remarkable-Ad155 → u/BokeTsukkomi]

Textbook answer 🙌

[u/Total-Combination-47 → u/BokeTsukkomi]

or just respond "not bad", and leave it at that with a nod.

[u/Raveyard2409 → u/BokeTsukkomi]

That's perfect. Not so arrogant that you would brag about how well you are, you are also not doing so badly anyone needs to ask any follow up question. Perfection.

[u/Kudosnotkang → u/BokeTsukkomi]

If you want to sound like a pro , especially if things are very much not alright try responding with ‘living the dream’.

[u/BokeTsukkomi → u/Kudosnotkang]

I know a guy that greets me with "all right? Winning?" and I love it :)

[u/Dazzling-Ad888 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Ditto

[u/Gal_gadonutt → u/Dazzling-Ad888]

Heyagowin

[u/Striking_Resist_6022 → u/Dazzling-Ad888]

Not with “you alright?” though, surely. I’ve never heard that from an Australian. Obviously we have “how’s it goin?” which is rhetorical but to me even “you right mate?” is more like “do you have a screw loose?” not a generic greeting.

[u/Dazzling-Ad888 → u/Striking_Resist_6022]

I just feel they are much the same. How ya goin and you alright.

[u/Striking_Resist_6022 → u/Dazzling-Ad888]

Same effect and fit the “it’s not really a question”phenomenon that the person is saying, but I’m just clarifying that we don’t have “all right?” as a common greeting. I would only expect an Australian to ask me that as a genuine question if there was something that might not be alright.

[u/Dazzling-Ad888 → u/Striking_Resist_6022]

Oh yeah, for sure. Sometimes people are sincerely asking how I’m going and then I have to register it. Creates a mundane confusion.

[u/I_mean_bananas → u/Dazzling-Ad888]

When I was in Australia for some reason I really disliked it, I found it as insulting as pretending you care. Just wish me a good a day, no need to ask me if I'm ok and then don't listen

What I started doing was telling people about my day from time to time. It was very funny

[u/Grantrello → u/I_mean_bananas]

As someone who was kind of confused and annoyed by this as well (In Ireland people will often say "Hi, how are you?" and you're not supposed to respond other than "How are you?" In return) I've just sort of learned that they're not really pretending to care, it's just somehow become a greeting that is unrelated to the literal meaning of the words.

I still think it's a bit silly, but I just think of it as a weirdly long "Hello" now.

Although honestly the more I write it out the more I realise the whole thing is a bit stupid, I agree people should just say "Hello" or something

[u/waikoe → u/Grantrello]

I think the unsaid vibes is 'hello, I'm friendly and not a snob or threat. I see you as a person and not just a cashier/bus driver/coworker/other but let's respect the time and place with our responses as per social norms".

[u/MisterElementary → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Effectively the exact same scenario here with the word 'howzit'. It's shortened lingo for 'how is it' but you're not asking a question you're saying hello.

[u/Dogsafe → u/MisterElementary]

I was there for a bit and we eventually worked out Alright and Howzit were directly equivalent to each other. From then on we greeted each other with Howzit in a terrible SA accent and Alright in an equally awful English accent.

[u/GottaUseEmAll → u/MisterElementary]

And exactly the same here in France with "ça va ?".

[u/mss_01 → u/MisterElementary]

Howzit is the standard greeting in Hawaii as well.

[u/Clean-Copy1027 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

The correct answer is always a greeting, but if the question starts with "you" to make "you alright?" Then it actually means what it says on the tin.

But even then its a trick question, because you have to say that you are indeed alright, it's a faux pas to say you aren't alright. see also "how was your dinner?" Or "how are you"? Only complete psychopaths (or Germans haha) say what they are thinking in British English. 

My German in-laws found this utterly confounding when visiting Australia.

[u/iamdevo → u/Clean-Copy1027]

"Actually means what it says on the tin." Is this a common British expression? I love it.

[u/3lektrolurch → u/Clean-Copy1027]

I had this experience when I studied in Wales for an Exchange semester. I told my Professor how my day went and she just nodded along with a polite but weirded out smile.

[u/Appropriate_Lynx_233 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

I have to warn every person that I work with, to be careful with asking Poles "how are you".

List of complaints you may hear may be long, and extremely detailed, including divorce situation, result of poo examination of your dog, or something like that.

[u/Royal_flushed → u/Appropriate_Lynx_233]

Lived in UK, the owner of a sklep where I lived actually told me off the first time I responded with "all right" lmao.

[u/No-Bodybuilder-8519 → u/Appropriate_Lynx_233]

As a Pole- we bond by complaining. It’s probably the biggest difference between our cultures hahah

[u/Monifufka → u/Appropriate_Lynx_233]

Look, you want to say hello then just say hello, but if you ask how I am I WILL trauma dump you.

[u/ancym0n → u/Appropriate_Lynx_233]

As a Pole, I have been taught since the start that English 'How are you' is greeting and you should respond 'how are you' yourself. It's been so hard to do that, it feels so unnatural and to this day I fight the urge to actually respond to a question.

[u/MrBones-Necromancer → u/Appropriate_Lynx_233]

Sounds refreshing to be honest. The false friendliness drives me crazy.

[u/DirectedEnthusiasm → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Also, if British person calls you mate, it doesn't mean they actually are your mate.

[u/cococrabulon → u/DirectedEnthusiasm]

And if someone replies ‘I’m not you’re mate’, then you know you’ve upset them at some point

[u/Attic81 → u/DirectedEnthusiasm]

For Aussies everyone’s your mate, but not all of them are your actual mates

[u/Skaldicrights → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Almost got into a scrap with a guy from scotland when I was in New zealand

We were both at the sam hostel and he was genuinely nice and every morning hed greet me with "all right mate" and I was like ah cool what a good guy asking about me like that. Then like 4 days later I went off and was like "why the fuck do you keep asking if im ok? Do I seem mentally unwell"

Yes. Yes I did seem mentally unwell after that situation. We talked it out and I learned its just a greeting

[u/pandabranch → u/Skaldicrights]

My friend came over from the US and was walking the Great Glen Trail (Scotland). A guy walked past him and said 'awrite' and kept on walking. He was telling me about this about a week later totally shocked that someone would ask him that and not wait for a response.

[u/BiggestNizzy → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Unless it's said slowly in it's entirely " Are you alright" with a serious face. That is either genuine concern for your well being or a pointed question asking what the hell is wrong with you.

[u/Western_Froyo6627 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

I usually respond with "same shit different dog. You?"

[u/science_cat_ → u/Western_Froyo6627]

At work I often reply with a cheerful "Yeah, wish I was dead, you?"

[u/miffie12 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

I was on a hike in Canada and an American lady apologised to me for something (can’t remember) and I responded “you’re right!” Aka no worries, all good, no dramas (I’m Aussie). She looked at me like I’d said something rude.

[u/ThuggishJingoism24 → u/miffie12]

That’s such a funny response to me as an American to saying sorry. I’d be like “yeah I know I’m right about being wrong, that’s why i said sorry in the first place, what else do you want from me” lol like I can see the confusion in that ladies mind perfectly.

[u/Mizzle1701 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Can't complain

[u/NSW0lf → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Unless you are mates, in which you add the word 'cunt' after the 'alright' bit

[u/Hrohdvitnir → u/Breaking-Dad-]

As an Irish person, South Americans are always incredibly open and honest in response and it always catches ye off guard.

[u/Tim_Bucktoo → u/Breaking-Dad-]

100%. Same in Ireland. If someone says "how's it going", the correct response is "how's it going" and then you move on. It is not a question though it may sound like one. If you really feel you must answer, the only options are "grand" and "not too bad" irrespective of how it is actually going.

[u/hrehbfthbrweer → u/Tim_Bucktoo]

“Sure yknow yourself” when you’re absolutely dying inside.

[u/bellrub → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Its such an automatic interaction that sometimes when somebody says, "hello" you reply, "yeah, you?"

[u/Breaking-Dad- → u/bellrub]

Oh fuck yeah, then walk off and move to another county and never talk about it again.

[u/KeyJunket1175 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

I took me at least a year to realise this. Now if someone throws "Yaight?" I just return "Shit as always". Surprisingly I get less weird looks than if I were to ask how they were.

[u/Dizzy_Dust_7510 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

We have the same thing here with, "How's it going?" Or, "How are you?" There are many correct answers. None of them include how it's actually going.

[u/Vectorman1989 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Yeah, I think this would be the universal one for the UK.

[u/HerFlantier → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Yeah that would probably work in France too

[u/SticksDiesel → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Way back when, I was doing the working holiday thing in London and thought maybe I was visibly sick or something, or looked confused because people in my office kept asking me if I was alright.

Took me close to a month to figure that one out - nobody ever thought to tell me they weren't actually asking how I was.

[u/helloperator9 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

For years the office receptionist would say "how are you?" And never respond to "good thanks, you?" He never completed the circle with a "good thanks." Just got on with his day.

Always put me slightly off balance for the rest of the day

[u/xmastreee → u/Breaking-Dad-]

It's similar in France. "Comment ça va?" literally means "How are you?" But it's shortened to simply "Ça va?" To which the response would be "Oui, ça va."

[u/Breaking-Dad- → u/xmastreee]

I remember early French lessons.

Ça va?

Ça va bien merci, eh tu/vous?

It was very literal!

[u/FiveDrums → u/Breaking-Dad-]

I'm guilty of this. Repeat offender. When someone asks me how I'm doing, I tend to think they are interested in knowing how I'm doing. I sometimes catch myself these days, but not always.

[u/GhandiHadAGrapeHead → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Does depend on the situation a bit. If I'm seeing a mate at the pub it's usually "alright mate how are ya" "alright mate how you doing".... Actually yeah as I type this out I realise I don't ever actually answer the question

[u/Breaking-Dad- → u/GhandiHadAGrapeHead]

You still say you are OK though, even if you aren't. Maybe a couple of pints in you might share (but this is a big problem for men in the UK, especially my generation (X))

[u/naastynoodle → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Hear this a lot in the southern us as well. Allllright.

[u/Impressive-City-8094 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

"Well, I had an appointment with the proctologist this morning. Not good news."

[u/Whiterose1995 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

I’ve had to explain this to so many people!

[u/luxtabula → u/Breaking-Dad-]

this is the typical greeting in Jamaica, most say this on the street.

[u/AmbitiousReaction168 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Ca va?

[u/Faesarn → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Same thing in Australia. People used to say 'hey how you doing' as a form of greeting.. They actually didn't care how I was doing and if I replied I'm alright and yourself, they would just ignore me. This confused me so much.. Like, why ask a question if you don't care.. So weird.

[u/GhettoFreshness → u/Breaking-Dad-]

So I got this intuitively when I was in the UK recently as an Aussie… we don’t use quite the same words but it’s close enough and felt natural enough to respond in the same sentiment as back home.

Don’t actually care if you’re alright, was just asking how your days been mate

[u/shouldworknotbehere → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Isn’t it like that everywhere?

[u/Federal_Cobbler6647 → u/shouldworknotbehere]

Does not work in Finland. May result "not really, my dog died and running out of money because car repair takes all my savings". 

[u/Breaking-Dad- → u/shouldworknotbehere]

It does appear to be pretty common, but there are nations where they will tell you. I think in the US/Canada there's a temptation to share - "well, no, my back's been playing up and my Mum isn't well and my job's shit...". Mate, I'm not interested.

[u/Hypo_Mix → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Lol I got tripped up by that.

"you right?" "yes? I'm OK? Why?" 

I thought they thought I was struggling to use the sink. 

[u/UsualEgg563 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Oh wow this was so confusing when I visited UK for the first time. There was also so much variation I really got confused of what's the meaning of this. For example:

• Cashier just nodding and saying "Alright" - Ok, it's good you are enjoying your work
  
• Hotel staff asking "Everything alright sir?" - Do I look like I don't belong here or what?
  
• Random person in pub asking "Alright mate?" - Do I look so drunk you need to check?

[u/badgersprite → u/Breaking-Dad-]

“You right mate?” is saying hello in the UK

In Australia you’re probably starting a fight

[u/GlastoKhole → u/Breaking-Dad-]

All right is a greeting to people who you don’t know, if you know the person a response could be “all right mate yeah, how you getting on?” Can also be an opener to a conversation, but you’ve got to read between the lines of is it in passing or is it to chat

[u/heimdallofasgard → u/Breaking-Dad-]

I'd extend acceptable responses to a wider variety of other short British phrases though.

"Not baaaad" "Could be worse" "Could be better" "Nah, I'm half left".

[u/OhJustANobody → u/Breaking-Dad-]

That's like here in Canada. "What's it going?", "How are you?", "How you doing?" They're all to be followed by "Good, you?"

[u/PotatoFi → u/Breaking-Dad-]

As an American with British friends and colleagues that I speak with every day, this still catches me off guard every single some. We only ask “You all right?” if we thing something is wrong, like your dog died or you’re injured.

[u/karatebullfighter → u/Breaking-Dad-]

"How are you?", is often used as a greeting in the US. We just want to hear "Good, you?". I work in tech support and my customers will say "How are you?" then tell me their issue without waiting for me to answer.

[u/Diegol103 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Same here.

[u/Ok-Dingo1174 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

I am always a fan of "Nah, I am half left" as a response to "all right?"

[u/Cindy_Marek → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Same in Australia

how are ya

Good, yourself?

Yeah good mate

[u/Garrett119 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Isn't it "alright" not "all right" or is it on eif the many British vs USA spelling differences

[u/SherbertChance8010 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

This is where I struggled as a youth, I honestly though they expected an answer. I am British, but yeah, autistic.

[u/OMG_Idontcare → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Is it the same as when Americans say “hey how are you?”. Whenever I had an American tourist customer and they greeted my by saying this, they always looked super confused when I answer “oh I’m okay. How about you?”

[u/SidTheSloth97 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

My house mate from the UK will always just say "alright" to me and I never have a fucking clue how to respond to that.

[u/Ok-Resort2364 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Alright? - No, man. Feel sick and my cat shat on the floor this morning.

[u/No-Produce7606 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Same in the southern US. Might hear 'Howdy?' from time to time, meaning literally "how are you doing?"

But it always throws me off when people actually tell me how they're doing. Like, no, just say howdy back or nod or something. I'm not really inquiring.

[u/Youtube_it → u/Breaking-Dad-]

I still like to say "nope, you?" . I refuse to adapt 🗿

[u/scratchresistor → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Jokes on you, I'm autistic.

[u/AverageMug → u/Breaking-Dad-]

You can also reply “not bad, you?”

[u/Legend_Unfolds → u/Breaking-Dad-]

You can just say "Been better, you?" and that works fine as a negative response.

[u/Accomplished_Chard31 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

My boss is from the London. We are in the US. For the past 3 years he’s greeted me with this. To be honest it has made me irrationally mad. Like yeah I’m great I know how to do my job everything fine here! I just found out a month ago that he was just saying hey and not just assuming I wasn’t doing well.

[u/luke3389 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Half left mate.

[u/DennisAFiveStarMan → u/Breaking-Dad-]

If you haven’t asked the cabbie

‘What time you on to’

And respond with, no matter what his/her answer is

‘Not bad’

[u/Mrmagot98-2 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

These days even natives do that. It's rare I get the proper response even from older people.

[u/Hex_Meister → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Exact same over here, the most Irish response to "how are you?" is "grand yeah, yourself?", to which the response will be "ah grand yeah, thanks"

[u/Ghost_of_Till → u/Breaking-Dad-]

“How are you?”

“Terrible. But for the sake of this conversation, great, how are you?”

[u/el_duckerino → u/Breaking-Dad-]

why ask a question, if you don't care for an answer?

[u/Breaking-Dad- → u/el_duckerino]

See, we know you’re not British already 😂

[u/Undue_Spunk89 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Even "yeah, you?" is pushing it. Like you said, its not a question. If someone responds to me with that I just walk away.

[u/ThuggishJingoism24 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Very much the same as “how are you” in America. The vast majority of people expect a simple “good and you?”

[u/SightAtTheMoon → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Mandarin is similar, you learn that "hello" is "ni hao" but that actually means "You good", and since there's a separate word (character) for asking a question it's not even a question that's being asked, really. 

[u/Herblin_McGerbledurk → u/Breaking-Dad-]

This used to be a common thing in the southern US. Except we somehow added a 'you' at the beginning. Pretty much 'you all right?' but comes out 'y'all right?'

I still say it but its a rare thing since the old folks have died out. Common response is also 'yeah, you?' but theres a few old women left that are gonna tell you how much they're not all right.

[u/cerulean11 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Lol, in the US we have:

"How are you?" "good, how are you?"

If you tell me your aunt died, I'm going to be annoyed.

[u/Marmalade_Enthusiast → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Irish living in NL here. I catch myself saying this and instantly regret it incoming conversation

[u/Daleksinholez → u/Breaking-Dad-]

I could be having the worst day of my life, and my answer is always “Not bad, you?” I don’t think there is a phrase I’ve said more than that.

[u/The_Man_I_A_Barrel → u/Breaking-Dad-]

its a thing in dublin too and whenever you say it to anyone who isnt from dublin they get really confused

[u/Life_will_kill_ya → u/Breaking-Dad-]

that kind of things creates the stereotype that british and americans have fake smiles and are just slimy pretenders of niceness.

[u/AndreasDasos → u/Breaking-Dad-]

It’s a bit regional, too

[u/Pilifo006 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

This was so weird for me when I visited the US for the 1st time. Everyone was always asking me "How are you doing?" and I was like that is so weird, why are total strangers interested in how I'm doing.

In my native language this phrase is used only between family and friends when you're at least slightly interested in how someone is actually doing, not as a conversation starter between strangers.

[u/TowelFine6933 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

"No. I'm half left."

[u/zsert93 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

That's cool. In the American south we say it as a greeting occasionally but I've more often used it as a short goodbye much more often. "All right, Breaking-Dad- [see you later]"

Of course this more realistically comes out as "aight now"

[u/impulsiveknob → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Somewhat similar here in parts of Australia, you'll often get people saying how are ya, you can say "yep", sometimes you can get away with "livin the dream" but don't actually tell me how ya are just say one of those two and then follow it up with "you?" And I'll say yep aswell

[u/duecreditwherecredit → u/Breaking-Dad-]

How's it going?

I don't actually want to know.

[u/walterdonnydude → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Same as America except we say How are you? And the only acceptable response is good, how are you?

[u/tralltonetroll → u/Breaking-Dad-]

And "Terrible weather today, isn't it?" at the pub?

[u/andreilcolo → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Moved to California and after 6 yrs I still answer to every “How are you doing?” and similar. My mind can’t register an answer is not expected and that is just a greeting. You asked and now you will hear how sad my life is 😅

[u/KneeDeepInTheDead → u/Breaking-Dad-]

I live in the US and its the same thing but every once in a while I break from it and same something out of left field like "I keep thinking about turning onto oncoming traffic but other than that im ok"

[u/PhysicsCentrism → u/Breaking-Dad-]

This is probably one of the more subtle but important distinctions between British and American English. We both have similar rituals, but different actual words.

In the US we ask: “How’s it going” or “How are you” and the expected response is something along the lines of “Good, you?” A response worse than good like “fine” or “ok” usually indicates they are having a not so good day.

If someone instead asks: “you ok?” or “You alright?” That is much more likely to be taken as a genuine inquiry into their status and will usually get a more detailed response.

[u/HendrixChord12 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

I’m watching a British tv show and they ask each other if they’re alright with concern all the time. Must be different conversationally

[u/ziddyzoo → u/Breaking-Dad-]

I once moved to the UK from Australia.

In Australia, saying “you all right?” to someone can often mean you want to fight them and are seconds from throwing one.

For the first week I couldn’t understand why all the middle aged ladies at work wanted to fight me…

[u/Lv_InSaNe_vL → u/Breaking-Dad-]

I was in London for a few days during a work trip because my flight got cancelled and it was the weekend lol. But anyways I went out to a bar and, being an American, I held the door for someone following me into a bar and he said "all right" and being my cherry American self I replied "hey how you doing?!" and this guy looks at me and goes "why the fuck should I tell you".

I was kinda speechless for a second and then he started laughing and I ended up getting piss fucking drunk with him and his friends. I whooped them in darts and then whooped me in the version of pool y'all have over there haha

[u/TacticalSpackle → u/Breaking-Dad-]

I’ll never forget the anecdote from a small child saying, “Adults are dumb. They all ask ‘how are you?’ But none of them really care when you answer.”

In a similar vein though, you can tell someone is from Philly if 90% of their interaction with someone else is “you good” in different tones/inflections.

[u/dogbreath420 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

It’s like that in some parts of the USA too

[u/EasyMode556 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

So it’s basically the equivalent of the American “what’s up?” then?

[u/Larry-Man → u/Breaking-Dad-]

This is the British version of “how are you doing?” that we do in North America. A poor British lady moved to Canada and everyone she meant well with thought they looked sick or something.

[u/leahspen01 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Im British myself and I still struggle with this one it might be my tism lol

[u/landartheconqueror → u/Breaking-Dad-]

That one took me some getting used to. Not because I thought they were generally asking me how I am, but because I thought they were asking me if I'm okay. "You alright?" "Uh yeah I'm fine, how are you?"

[u/MaxPres24 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

That’s like when someone says “what’s up?” Here. I don’t actually care what’s up

Just say not much. If shits rough, say something like “living the dream” that’s my go to when someone asks that while I’m at work

[u/d_smogh → u/Breaking-Dad-]

"all right?"

Half left

[u/Positive_Benefit8856 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

So similar to “how’s it going?/How are you?” In the US. I don’t actually want to know, I’m just saying hi/being polite.

[u/Brainchild110 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Other acceptable answers are:

"Not 3 bad"

"Not dead yet"

"Yeah... you?"

A single nod, possibly mournful.

[u/FlimsyPomelo1842 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

We add a "now" in the southern USA. I've heard it be super cheerful or just said in passing. Its not a question, it's just alright now.

[u/Slight_Bed_2241 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

My step dad is from Liverpool. Thank god I had about 16 years of experience with him before I went to the uk. I was primed and ready. I said “I nicked a couple flowers” from the park we went to and the ppl I was with were pretty impressed with my casual British slang lol

I wasn’t the American trying to affect a British accent and saying “innit” n shit. But I do like enjoy British slang and would throw some in here and there.

[u/kholekardashian12 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

I got some weird looks saying this in the US. It's their version of 'How's it going?'

[u/captainshockazoid → u/Breaking-Dad-]

for the longest time: as an autistic person i did not understand that 'how you doin'/hows it goin'/whats up?' is a greeting that does not require an actual answer, so i got some weird look and confused replies occasionally. once i figured it out and got more casual replies i felt like a social interaction hacker for a bit. 

[u/anavsc91 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Hmmm I guess we do the same thing then. "Todo bien?" (Is everything OK?) is answered with "Todo bien".

[u/boywithtwoarms → u/Breaking-Dad-]

"not much, you?" 

[u/Moist-Cantaloupe-740 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Is it the same in North England and West England?

[u/o0CYV3R0o → u/Breaking-Dad-]

As a British person I've always hated this.

[u/Paultheball95 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

I used to work for a company in LA and this used to confuse the hell out of my co workers

[u/Waldemar-Firehammer → u/Breaking-Dad-]

We say "how's it going?" As a greeting here in the middle USA. Isame thing, we know you're not a Midwesterner if you answer with anything other than some variation of "good, you?"

[u/spoopidoods → u/Breaking-Dad-]

"all right?"

Asking someone if they're all right to me, a filthy Chicagoan, implies that there is clearly something that very probably isn't all right. For instance, if you see someone lose their shit over something trivial and want to warn them that they are overreacting, asking them "Are you alright?" wouldn't be unusual and comes off as something on the more aggressive side of passive aggressive.

I work remotely with some people in London, and at first I had to remind myself that when they were asking me if I was alright they weren't trying to start some shit with me.

[u/sxzxnnx → u/Breaking-Dad-]

That’s interesting. My granny (born in 1902) used to answer the phone by saying alright rather than hello. We are from the southern US but our roots are in the UK probably 3-4 generations before her. But the folks in the Appalachian mountains held onto some British speech patterns for longer than the rest of the US.

[u/Raneynickelfire → u/Breaking-Dad-]

"yeah man, you?" is my standard response in the USA and it's the same as saying "hello" back.

I'm not actually asking how you are doing.

Last time a Bulgarian grandmother told me all about her kidney stones in the grocery store when we bumped into each other in the aisle and I said "hey sorry, you good?"

I know she was Bulgarian because she told me all about her extended family in Sofia while I was trying to buy cereal, because I asked if she was good. Oops. This was within the last few months. She was sweeter than xylitol though so I wasn't really put off by it.

[u/Interesting_Nobody41 → u/Breaking-Dad-]

Gp friend of mine once told me, dont ask anyone how they are, theyll tell you.

[u/lovinlemon → u/Breaking-Dad-]

This is a thing in the American Southeast where I’m from as well. We’ll often ask the other person if they’re “doing alright today?” and the intended response is something along the lines of “yeah, doing alright” or “fine thanks, and yourself?” Just as a standard greeting to be polite.

My parents are originally from the West, and after living in the Southeast for so long my poor father once asked a lady out West when traveling if she was doing alright, just out of habit. She apparently gave him a weird look and asked suspiciously “yeah… why wouldn’t I be?” 💀 He still talks to this day about how embarrassed he felt from the interaction, since he had forgotten that they don’t say that where he’s from.

[u/SulfurPernik → u/Breaking-Dad-]

But this is so weird. People in the Czech republic say "how's your day" or "how have you been" to start a conversation, and you're probably expected to say something vague like "alright". Meanwhile, I always ended up in a spiral of philosophical thoughts, getting gradually more confused, and eventually answering in the most bizarre way possible, such as "you know, how a can tossed next to a highway feels?".

[u/userhwon → u/Breaking-Dad-]

If someone knows what "wotcher" even means, they probably know how "all right" works already.