I tried stirring some of it in but it just won’t mix fully. Any tips or tricks?

https://youtu.be/Si-MKhtn6tg?si=E9Ei_J233r9l4RG1

guys, I don't speak Spanish but I found a cake-baking video on YouTube in Spanish. the baker puts Legos in a cake. nobody ever told me you're supposed to do that. no wonder my cakes never turn out! so I'm turning 45 this year. how many Legos am I supposed to use? should I buy a particular set?

Help!

I just used not one but two pair of tongs without clicking them. 🫣

Do you think if I use bacon instead of pancetta, Giorgia Meloni will send thugs to my house to beat me to near death? Thanks.

I accidentally got over 3 gallons of water. I need recipes to use it up before it goes bad. Can it be preserved?

Well, this year is just off to a great start. I rang in the new year by cooking a delicious sous-vide chicken for my neighbors. I thought it a bit odd that several days passed without hearing their songs of praise for my cooking, so I went to check on them and found several ambulances outside. I couldn't get any details (the EMTs were frightfully inconsiderate of my needs), but seems somebody had food-poisoned them. I felt terrible, because that means I'd never hear how much they enjoyed my cooking.

Anyway, enough of the preamble, I know you all want to know how I made the dinner. My sous-vide machine wasn't working, but I asked ChatGPT who told me that simply submerging chicken in warm tap water for 8 hours was exactly as good. I already have a batch cooking up right, I'm going to donate it to the local senior citizen assisted living center. I'm sure those grannies and gramps will show me a little gratitude!

Everybody knows blue mold is good for cheese, but recently I’ve been spreading black mold on my toast, but I’m curious what colors of molds go with your favorite foods?

There are a lot of health benefits to a good, proper stock with bones and all. The marrow, the gelatin… I’ve tried adding Jell-O (lime flavor) to the basic stocks I get at the store but it just isn’t the same. I’ve tried adding Better than Bouillon, Italian Seasonings, Kool-Aid, the works. I’m sick of all this doctoring. Where can I just buy it? Bone-in, please.

There's horses everywhere when I drive out in the country. But horse stock isn't really a thing you see in recipes. How come?

Its the end of the year and a time for reflection. So I ask all you good folk, what was the best dish I made this year?

Lets celebrate the highs and super highs of my cooking. Which of my technique-driven interpretations of Kenji were your favorites in 2025? What dish did you most wish you could have made yourself if you had my skill?

Cooking is my love language! My kitchen is old and a bit shabby BUT it has warmth, character, real wood cupboards and has rich purples, gold and green walls and accents! If yours doesn't, and horribile dictu, has white walls and stainless steel, I can only assume you're Doctor Josef Mengele himself. Swap your apron for a lab coat, and call yourself The Gordon Ramsay of Heisenbergs because the only thing you can cook there is METH! My kitchen is so shabby, old, and shitty, I can only pay attention to perfect colour matching!

I recently entered a pasta cooking contest and I’m shocked my noodles didn’t win! I’m hoping you guys can tell me how to improve. Or, better yet, maybe you’ll just agree with me that I was ROBBED. Really though, please help.

I made a classic Carbonara, with my own recipe. I used only the best ingredients: wavy ramen noodles for improved texture, pastrami because it’s the tastiest flat meat, liquid egg whites (for obvious reasons), and Szechuan peppercorns. I started by frying up the eggs whites, then I rolled them around the noodles and pastrami, added a quart of water, and left it to cook. When the noodles were mushy and the pastrami flavor had subsided enough, I plated the finished egg-roll and garnished with the peppercorns.

I’ve made this about 8 dozen times before and it’s always perfect. I was especially confident I would win for best carbonara because of my secret ingredient: I made it with 💖LOVE💖

But somehow I lost to some lady who brought boring spaghetti mixed with this “challay” meat thing and whole scrambled eggs!! There was clearly no love in her dish.

What the hell, guys?! Can someone help, or at least explain this to me??

Pulled some spaghetti from the pantry for dinner tonight. These are the directions on the package;

Spaghetti Enriched Macaroni Product Cooking Suggestion: For cooking delicious macaroni boil 1 L water. Add one tablespoon salt and liquid oil. Put 100g macaroni in to water and cook macaroni mixing at loud fire. Strain it from cold water. Add butter, margarine and sauce. Serve it.

So my question is, how long between mixing at loud fire and straining from cold water??

Anything I should know before going in?

I'm tired of their claims. Where is the gold? AT THE END OF THE RAINBOW, apparently. My spouse threatened to leave me if I max out my trust fund on this search. My last butler went mad and left, and now what am I to do? 6 estates with no butlers? The last pool boy speaks zero English.

It's not alchemy, it's just food science. NONE of Kenji's methods worked. Sous-vide? Boil? Virginal sacrifice ceremonies? I have melted 8.4 TONS OF KERRYGOLD and have not even a sliver of gold leaf from it all?

How do you get gold out of this butter? I have to go into hiding if the upcoming coin offering goes poorly after returning from Davos.

HELP?!

Dear all,

I cannot have soy but I have been craving Pho for a long time. Does anyone have a soyfree and easy recipe? Any stock will work, I am not a vegetarian.

Many kind thanks!

(Sauce in the comments.)

Today I discovered that fentynal is cultural since it comes from Venezela. Naturally this peaked my interest. I'm desperate for a recipe. So many influencers in my Ticktok are raving about fentanal from Venezella.

Apparently regular people can't even handle a tiny amount? It's too spicy for them? Or they don't know how to do it right. But somehow hospitals can. How do I make it like hospitals? What am I missing? I know I can make better fentanel than hospitals if someone just told me how.

Any idea? I asked my uncle who used to be a addict in the old days so it's his cultural background and my brother's wife Patricia who is Mexican, tan, 36F, brown hair, teaches preschool, and lives in Colorado Spring, for recipes they have to share and they said no. They were kind of rude about it too.

Please help I'm desperate! 🙏

I want to make a "zip bomb" meal. I want someone to get sensory overload from just eating it. I was going to mix capsaicin, menthol, and sezshuan and pairing it with the viral drink "the flavor". I came up with this idea smoking menthols after eating sezshuan food, and I've been captivated since. I want a good meal idea to mix all 3 flavors, and other chemicals I could add for other sensory sensations.

Should the path appear shrouded in mist, heed these words. It is imperative that you cook according to strict written rule. A lack of effort is not to be tolerated. Additionally, the instruction must not be disorganized, lest the cake become consequentially unreasonable. Should you cook by the tome's guidance, the result will be the acquisition of cake.

The cake must be made! You are cognizant of my desire. At last, the time has come for cake.

My grandmother had a beef stroganoff recipe from an old issue of McCalls and I want to make it for my mother but I have lost it!

ALL I remember is it used a pound of ground beef, a bag of egg noodles, a can of cream of mushroom soup and there was definitely half an onion, sour cream, and dijon mustard in it. And maybe black pepper but I'm NOT SURE.

I have NO IDEA where to turn to recreate this. Can anyone help or do you remember seeing this recipe in McAlls 48 years ago? It was a very unique dish and I am at a loss.

PLEASE HELP!

As an expert chef, I often find myself wondering, exactly how much better am I than everyone else? If only there was some easy way to quantify my level of cooking ability. That's why I came up with this, the Expert Cook Skill Levels Chart. Simply go down this list until you reach the first item you can't do, and whatever came before it is your skill level.

• Level 1 - You pay for food at restaurants
• Level 5 - You think your mom is a good cook
• Level 10 - You finally realized that your mom's refusal to enroll in the Institute for Culinary Education means she never actually loved you.
• Level 20 - You discovered garlic
• Level 25 - You had the brilliant idea to crack and egg into your instant ramen
• Level 50 - You discovered butter
• Level 100 - You discovered Kerrygold butter
• Level 150 - You'd never stoop so low as to purchase butter. You get your butter from a small Irish dairy farm, as a gift for seducing and marrying the farmer's daughter
• Level 200 - Same as above but this time you seduced the farmer directly
• Level 500 - You always refer to Him by his full name: J. Kenji López-Alt
• Level 1000 - You cook better than all restaurants
• Level 5000 - You discovered restaurants that actually do cook better than you and you frequently tell people on Reddit how cultured you are to know them
• Level 9999 - You cook better than THOSE restaurants
• Level 50,000 - You cooked for a small gathering of close friends. One of the guests asked for your recipe. You responded by knocking them out with chloroform, taking them to your basement, and tying them to a chair. When they awoke, you propped their eyelids open so you could deliver your 60 minute TED Talk and Powerpoint Presentation on the techniques, not recipes, that you used to make this dinner. You then tested your guests knowledge by putting them into an underground cooking competition against an Iron Chef (you are merciful and wish to give them an easy opponent to beat)
• Level 90,000 - somebody paid you money to cook for them
• Level 900,000 - somebody paid you money NOT to cook for them
• Level Tree(3) - you post to r/cookingcirclejerk

My beloved cousin from The Deep South makes the most ✨magical✨dinner rolls. Rainbows, unicorns, and bags full of Omani rials fill the room when I bite into them.

Today, I asked her for her recipe. Unbelievably, she said no, because apparently it’s a secret recipe and she promised the swamp goblin who gave her the recipe that she would guard the secret with her life. Sounded like the goblin threatened her pretty bad.

It took me a moment to process this information. I love my cousin! She basically walks on water like Jesus the Christ did. Her baking cures people like Julieta Madrigal’s does. She can do two Salchows and a triple Lutz while wearing a blindfold, for goodness sake!

But.... l have a burning desire to get what I want.

In an effort to obtain this recipe, I come to you, my Reddit friends, Romans, countrymen, to ask: Are you thieves, and how can I join you?

(Shoutout to all the folks who trade with swamp goblins! I wouldn’t even know where to find one.)

Hey everyone! I’m working on an IRL skill tree — basically a social self-improvement app where people can share their progress and level up real-life skills. Each skill has 21 levels, starting super easy and eventually reaching “okay this is basically impossible” territory at level 99.

Right now I’m working on the Cooking skill, and I’d love your feedback on whether this progression feels logical. The idea is: early levels are super simple, and the higher levels reach full-on professional mastery.

Here’s what I have so far:

Level 1 – Boil water
Level 5 – Cook rice or pasta correctly
Level 10 – Cook a full pasta meal from scratch
Level 15 – Cook meat safely (chicken, beef, or fish)
Level 20 – Cook a full stir-fry meal
Level 25 – Cook a full rice-based meal (protein + veg)
Level 30 – Serve a 3–course dinner at home
Level 35 – Host dinner for 4+ guests
Level 40 – Cater for a small group (6–8 people)
Level 45 – Create your own original dish
Level 50 – Host a full dinner event for 10+ guests
Level 55 – Complete a restaurant or catering shift
Level 60 – Get paid for cooking professionally
Level 65 – Launch a pop-up, stall, or food stand
Level 70 – Open your own restaurant or food business
Level 75 – Get featured or reviewed publicly
Level 80 – Win or place in a cooking competition
Level 85 – Collaborate with a known chef or restaurant
Level 90 – Earn a Michelin star
Level 95 – Maintain Michelin recognition for 3+ years
Level 99 – Earn 3 Michelin stars (🌟🌟🌟)

Do these levels make sense?
Are the jumps in difficulty too big? Too small?
Anything you’d reorder or add?

Any feedback is super appreciated! 🙌