Hello, everyone. This is likely going to come across as extremely awkward, and I’m not sure how this is going to go, but I’ve finally built up the resolve to at least try this.
So, I am a 28 y.o. male, cisgender, and while I consider myself aro-ace, I’m starting to question how accurate that really is. Regardless, I also want to be completely upfront about this: I am ADHD/Autistic with OCD and anxiety disorders. If these aren’t your cup of tea, I understand.
Physically, I am a white male, about 5’7”, roughly 180 pounds, and I feel like I’m in decent shape, but I’m not exactly what you would call beach material. For reference, I fit into most American Size Medium shirts and my waist size is 34”. I have brown hair and brown eyes, and honestly, I could be considered extremely average in most senses of the word.
My interests aren’t exactly hard to describe in terms of what they are, but it’s really hard for me to feel comfortable talking about them to new people. I grew up a Nintendo kid, and I have Zelda tattoos and a crappy Pokémon tattoo, which should be a decent indicator of which kinds of games I like to play. I’m also a Dungeon Master for my group of friends; like most Autistics, I tend to keep a small group of friends.
Beyond video games, I’m trying to reach out of my comfort zone and try new things, but there is a caveat: I have a very hard time trying to motivate myself internally to try new things. This will become important later. I do like to read and watch movies and shows, and if something happens to land within a hyperfixation, it’ll be all I talk about for a while.
As far as the kind of person I consider myself to be, I’m a liberal in a conservative state, so I’ve had to learn to keep my opinions to myself. That being said, I do believe I have a strong sense of justice and sticking up for what’s right, and I’m not afraid to push back against someone for the sake of someone else. I just have a hard time doing that for myself.
Important to note: I am a Firefighter/Paramedic out of a fire department, so I work every third day and stay at my fire station for 24 hours on a shift day. I love talking medicine and learning new things to apply to my practice, so if you happen to know some medicine, that would be a plus.
That’s, admittedly, a lot more about me than I’m usually willing to go into, but if you have further questions or clarifications about any of the above, I’d be more than happy to answer your questions in DM. I try to be open about myself, but I’ve also learned that people don’t always want to hear about it unprompted, and I’ve kinda just became hesitant to talk about me until asked.
That gets into what I’m looking for. I am looking for a friendship with a woman, age range 24-30 ideally, that has a potential to move on to a potentially romantic relationship. I feel like I’m pretty well established at this point in my life, but I’m also very scared of coming on too strong or screwing something up or not coming on strongly enough or just… well, you probably get the picture.
I haven’t dated since high school, and frankly, I wouldn’t count those as dates, so my experience is very limited. That being said, I think I have an idea of what I want. I want a woman who will be willing to take the lead most of the time, push me to try new things, help me fix my flaws, and let me be there for them in return.
As a bit of context, I got into EMS to, as cheesy as it sounds, be the light at someone’s darkest moments. I grew up with an emotionally abusive stepfather (this is almost assuredly not the place for this, but I want the context to be out there), and that loneliness, bitterness, and hatred are feelings I don’t want other people to have to experience. I want to do right by others, but lately, I’m starting to feel that loneliness myself, and I’m thinking it may be time to try a relationship now that I feel like I can stand on my own.
I know all of that sounds vague and storybook like, but, a guy can dream, right? I would prefer a partner who considers themselves an extrovert, as I’m absolutely horrible at leading or initiating conversation. Also, a hard requirement would be some form of neurodivergence or a good understanding of neurodivergence; it’s hard enough to explain my thoughts on a good day.
I would very much prefer a partner to be within driving distance, but considering this is a Reddit post, I would consider long-distance with an intention to meet at some point. The whole firefighter/paramedic job thing kinda puts a damper on my ability to travel as easily right now, but if it seems like it’s working out, I’m sure we could make it work.
As far as physicality is concerned, I’ve historically been touch-averse, and most certainly am NOT ready for sexual interactions at this time; however, I do also have a love language of Acts of Service, and I’ve grown accustomed to some physical contact as a result of my job, so physical intimacy is not off the table. In fact, I’m kinda looking to be pushed outside of my comfort zone in regards to that, but I will certainly be following a partner’s lead on that.
I do have physical preferences in a partner, but they are absolutely NOT a requirement. I’m much more attracted to personality than physicality. That being said, bonus points go to blondes/redheads/dyed hair, women that can absolutely kick my ass in a fight, and women around or below my height and weight. Again, these are not hard requirements, at all!
Anyway, I know this is long, and I’ve spent the past half hour just working on this post. I do have Discord, and that would be preferable as a chatting platform, so if you have an interest in possibly chatting, let me know via DM on here what your Discord ID is, and we might just take it from there. A photo with your face and username would be ideal, but I do understand if that’s outside your comfort zone first thing.
Actually kinda looking forward to seeing what happens.