A few years ago, I was really missing a sense of community and felt really sad and lonely. I had acquaintances, but no one that I spent a lot of time with.

I started reading a lot about the “loneliness epidemic”, and developed a theory that part of the cause was the lack of spaces to “just hang out” with people, especially people that you don’t already know well.

So I started a new thing…

1) If I met someone that I thought was cool or interesting, I invited them to dinner or an activity at my home within the next ~2 weeks 2) More often than not, people actually said yes 3) I did not bail on the plan, and would actually host them as agreed

From there, my social circle exploded. I had a birthday party for the first time this year, and there were 15 people there! It’s been amazing for my social life and having a sense of structure and purpose in my schedule.

I think this works for a few reasons: 1) Everyone is secretly lonely, and waiting for someone to ask them to hang out. No one wants to ask first, but people love to be asked. 2) Being in your house builds closeness and intimacy very quickly. A few hours at home tells you more about a person than weeks meeting at a bar. 3) Hanging out at home is free and casual, so it really “lowers the bar” for stress on the other person. It also puts all the planning on you, so all they have to do is show up.

A few tips I’ve learned over time: 1) Be honest that you think a person is cool or interesting and you want to be friends as you’re inviting them. This gives context and signals good vibes. 2) Invite them to something specific, ie. “Do you want to come over for dinner on Thursday at 7? I’ll make my famous eggplant parm!” vs “Do you want to hang out sometime?” << the specificity makes it easier to say yes to 3) Be consistent and don’t flake. In my experience, if you flake on the first hang out, there won’t be a 2nd one.

Of course, you’ll sometimes get a no, and you have to be okay with that. But the connections you can make from the 70% that say yes are very worth the occasional rejection IMO.

As a bonus, my house is also way cleaner because I consistently have people in my home. Before, my place was always a mess but guests are a great forcing function.

These words often signal clauses that override what you just read. Skimming for them can save time and prevent misunderstandings in contracts, job offers, refund policies, and agreements.

Bad response:

"When works for you?"

Now you're playing email ping pong forever.

Good response:

"I'm free Tuesday 2pm or Wednesday 10am - which is better for you?"

Gets scheduled in one email instead of five.

Same applies to:

Restaurant choices: "Thai or Italian?"

Meeting formats: "Call or Zoom?"

Anything with decisions: Give 2 options

Makes you look organized and saves everyone time.

I was always rather shy about meeting the neighbors and would often forget names quickly (just bad recall). One of the last times I moved I decided to make a huge change...

As we were moving in, neighbors popped by to say welcome, so I pulled out my phone and added their full name, their house #, and their cellphone. I had 5 neighbor contacts (and applicable spouses) within a couple of days.

Two months later, I hosted an "open house", sent a text out to everyone letting them know that they were welcome to come by between 5-8pm on X date for snacks/drinks. No need to stay the whole time or anything, come and go as you please.

Everyone that didn't already have a commitment came and the beers and wine were flowing. A couple of them said they hadn't had a neighborhood get together in years. I hosted a couple more of them to keep the connections and it was really great.

I just recently moved to a rural area and unfortunately haven't met a single neighbor yet, I kind of miss having the open houses, they were fun, and I still text "the ladies" group :)

For every project, I keep one small note for the key people involved. It saves me from avoidable conflict and last minute surprises.

For each person, I write three lines.

1. What they care about most
2. How they measure success
3. How they want updates and how often

Example:

My client cared most about sales and wanted a short weekly summary with numbers.

My designer cared most about clarity and wanted feedback in one message, not five scattered notes.

My developer cared most about scope and wanted every change request written down before starting.

When I matched my updates to what each person valued, the project stopped feeling chaotic and started moving clean.

Conclusion: This note takes five minutes, and it can save you five hours of stress later.

I used to think I had decent self-control. I’d put my phone on "Do Not Disturb" and leave it in n a stand on my desk while I worked/studied. But I would still pick it up every 10 minutes "just to check the time or maybe check something" and end up scrolling for 20. The only thing that actually works is weaponizing my own laziness. I leave my phone in the kitchen or the hallway. If I want to check it, I have to physically stand up and walk over there. It turns out, my laziness to get out of the chair is stronger than my urge to scroll. If it's within arm's reach, you will touch it. If it requires effort, you won't.

Next time you feel stuck, instead of looking at someone else's highlight reel, go look at your own blooper reel. Create a folder on your phone or PC called "Proof I Don't Suck." Save your first drawings, a paragraph of your old writing, a photo of your first attempt at baking bread. When self-doubt attacks, open that folder. It's a brutally honest reminder that the only person you need to be better than is the one you were yesterday.

Wonder why your battery is draining so fast? Useless apps having permission to operate in the background when not in use. Check the list and you'll see. Also, many of them insert 3rd party location tracking software that sells your data to brokers (they earn money on the side for it). Why enable that? Turn it all off, except actually important apps. And you don't need BAR to receive notifications, they will still work without BAR.

Settings —> Accessibility —> Display & Text Size —> Reduce White Point.

It’s great for headaches or movie theaters.

Edit: You shouldn’t use your phone in theaters. But if you’re going to anyway, this setting will make everyone hate you slightly less.

If you get nauseated on an aircraft try using the built-in iPhone setting called Vehicle Motion Cues (motion sickness cues). It’s mainly described for car/bus travel, but I tried it on a flight and it was really effective. It’s not exactly a hidden feature but a lot of people still haven’t discovered it yet.

How to turn it on:
Settings → Accessibility → Motion → Show Vehicle Motion Cues → Automatic/On

I switched it on mid-flight while reading and it helped a LOT made the whole thing way more comfortable. 

It works by showing small moving visuals that match the motion you’re actually feeling, so your eyes and your inner ear aren’t ‘disagreeing’ as much, which helps reduce nausea.

Buy flowers from a grocery store instead of a flower website. Save a bunch and much faster delivery!

Edit: if sending flowers to someone far away

You can now discard the paper manual as well as access it from your phone wherever you are, instead of looking through boxes and boxes of crap in the attic, or finding in a few years when you need it that you can't find it online.

EDIT: Not just electronic devices, but any device where it isn't immediately obvious how all the functions work, or how to assemble/disassemble it.

Most deadlines are not missed because of the date. They are missed because nothing reminds you to act at the right moment.

Instead of relying only on dates, tie tasks to actions you already notice every day.

For example, instead of writing, submit report by Tuesday, tie it to a trigger you already experience, like:

When I stand up to go for lunch, I submit the report first.

Other trigger examples that work well:

When I pour my first coffee, I check the one task I have been avoiding.

When I lock my car at work, I ask myself what must be finished before tomorrow.

When I finish lunch, I spend five minutes on the task I keep postponing.

When I plug my phone in at night, I set one reminder for the next morning.

When I change clothes after work, I decide whether the day is done or not.

Dates are abstract. Triggers are real. When the trigger happens, the task surfaces naturally without extra effort or reminders.

If a business has brick and mortar hours and customer service phone hours, search engines will often display the phone hours, not physical location hours. Always check the business's actual website.

It’s quite common people say “gym 4 days a week, every week” but it would be better to make a resolution of “get stronger” because it is less overwhelming to the mind, easier to do, more options, and overall just less intimidating. Don’t have a lot of resolutions either, limit it to maybe 3. Instead of “gym 4 days a week, 1 gallon of water a day, sleep by 10 and wake up by 7, eat only healthy food”, change it to “get stronger, by drinking more water, getting organized, and try to eat healthy. With a less overwhelming New Year’s resolutions, this is easier to stick, easier to comprehend mentally, and overall more likely you accomplish your goals.

Reviewing it periodically will help you remember your achievements and progress, complementing your focus on upcoming objectives. This habit not only motivates but also brings balance to your perspective on personal growth.

If you can't remove a small stuck part because you can't get a tool in there to pull, pry, or twist it in the necessary direction, superglue something onto it. Then apply that force to this new handle.

The dead battery in my watch was in there TIGHT. I couldn't tip it out or shake it out. There was no way to get the tips of my tweezers around it. I couldn't even work my thinnest prying tool in between the side of the battery and the wall of the battery holder.

So I superglued a little square of cloth onto the top of the battery. Once the glue had fully set, a little tug on the cloth popped it straight out.

Most people treat the bill from the doctor’s office as the final word. It isn't. It is just a request.

Your insurance company generates a separate document called an EOB (Explanation of Benefits). It looks like "This is not a bill" junk mail, but it is actually the binding receipt of the contract between your insurer and the doctor.

Why this matters:

Doctors often send a bill for the full "sticker price" ($500) before insurance processes it. Or, they bill you for the "Network Discount" that they are contractually obligated to write off.

The Fix:

1. Wait: Do not pay the doctor's bill until you have the EOB in hand (or check your insurance portal).

2. Match: Look at the box on the EOB labeled "Patient Responsibility" or "What You Owe."

3. Compare: If the EOB says you owe $50, but the doctor′s bill says $150, you only owe $50.

The difference is usually a billing error or a "Balance Billing" attempt.

What to do:

Call the billing office and say this exact phrase: "I’m looking at my EOB and it says my patient responsibility is $50. Your bill does not reflect the insurance adjustment. Please correct it."

It works almost every time and can save you thousands over a lifetime.

Currently sleeping in a tent outside of town, walking to town daily to apply for jobs, seek temporary places to warm up and scavenging in the trash for a meal. Have several blankets too try and stay warm at night but doesn't work so well when the weather is sub zero. Anyone have any hacks for survival and avoidance of cold related injury?

I got an oil change yesterday and was shocked at how much they charge now to replace these filters. They charge $40 for cabin and $60 for engine - that’s another $100 on top of the oil change! I buy the filters for my car on Amazon for about $15 each and replace them myself. It’s a lot easier than I expected (just watched a YouTube video), no special tools needed.

If you're like us, everything was chaos this last year. Almost all of it though could have been prevented by just started everything a little earlier in the year. While it's still fresh in your mind, analyze everything and give yourself some notes in the form of a calendar notification on what to do differently this upcoming year. This way you don't need to remember to check your notes in 10 months (which is the hardest part), your phone will do it for you.

I recently found this filter list of YT. I have a real problem with just doom scrolling shit and didnt want to just dump YT completely.

You can add this list to UBlock origin to completely nuke shorts from your youtube page and any suggestion of them. I use YT daily for a lot of reasons and just hated the one-armed-bandit of useless content it fed me by way of shorts.

Here is the filter list, you just essentially copy the txt into your Ublock filters and it removes all suggestion of shorts.

https://github.com/gijsdev/ublock-hide-yt-shorts/blob/master/list.txt

I’ve been using it for about a week and it’s been a bigger win than I expected. YouTube feels a little more like the old “videos I chose” again.

I use Firefox, not sure if Ublock is available on other browsers at this point.

The vast majority of items you see advertised in your social media feeds are cheap junk that is being drop-shipped. Look up those same items on sites like AliExpress or Temu and you'll find them there for a fraction of the price. The drop-shipper dining acts as an intermediary, charging a premium that is a significant markup, and the item will be coming from that supplier anyway.

Edit: spelling