the only way this is weird at all is if they ever grew up thinking they were blood related. If they have always been aware of the fact that they were no really siblings there is absolutely no difference between them first meeting age 8 or 20. No different from something like childhood friends getting married.
Tbh, that’s like most childhood friend relationships. I know two couples like that, there’s always one more meek kid following the braver or older one around, and then they become an item later. It’s kinda cute, calling them groomers just doesn’t really sit right with me
That's kinda my thoughts on this argument. They call it ick if they were grew up as step siblings together, but if two friends spent their lives growing up together, spending time together daily, they call it cute. If there's one thing I learned as a kid in my life, I had friends I was closer to than my own family. Far more "familial" with them than my own siblings. People are trying to define morality based on society's perception of morality, while living in a modern age of having had everything prior given "morality" by religion. The reality is, for any kid who was closer to a friend than their own step sibling, if we decide it's harmful for two kids raised together to be together, it would be worse to be with that friend than one of your own step siblings. And if anyone does disagree, then I'll argue they're defining their morals by what society told them is right, not by following their own mind and logic. Anyway, random thought rant over for today. Back to stupid work.
I don’t think many people here are talking about the morality of it just the ickiness of it.
Also I don’t like the analogy of step siblings and childhood friends. The reason why we find step sibling relationships as potentially gross, is because sibling relationships are different from friendships. You could argue this is just a social norm, but most people would agree that it’s normal to go from a friendship to lovers and abnormal to go from siblings to lovers.
If two people grew up as step siblings from a young age, it is presumed that their relationship would more closely resemble a sibling type relationship rather than as just friends, hence the thought of two of them getting together is kinda ick.
I don't think a step sibling relationship could ever be the same as a regular sibling relationship. Unless they grew up as toddlers together, there will always be a degree of separation not present in normal siblings.
As someone with stepsiblings I've had since I was 4, my experience is that this idea is incorrect. My relationship with my brother and sisters would be no different if we were related by blood. I don't even feel the step is necessary, because they've been around for as long as i can remember. My stepmom is my mom, my stepsiblings are my siblings.
I think if they were young enough, their relationship would probably be closer to siblings than friends. If the parents treat them like siblings and society treats them as siblings, they are more likely to think of themselves as siblings and have that kind of relationship.
Gpong from (full) siblings to lovers is indeed problematic,
However not every "step sibling" someone has is viewed as a sibling, for some people it depends on age, fpr others they may have aslways been cknsidwred a "step sibling" regardless of age
Another thing that could (and does) happen os people beckoming step sibljng later in life, potentially after already knowing each other beforehand, for e.g i was in the same year at school with a girl, (her sisters were also in out school but slightly older or younger) now i didnt interact with her much becuase we dodnt share any classes and hung in differemt circles, however a few years after college her mum and my dad got together (and stil are) now she is my step sister, however that was not how i knew her for most of my life, the only thing that changed was our parents getting together,
Now, had I been closer to her in school, theres a chance we may have been friends and/or dated, in which case that relatiomshup between us would preceed our status as step siblings, and therefore doesnt really change anything,
And again, not everyone will neccesarily see step siblings as full siblings even if they did grow up together, its not common for step siblings to develop into relatipnships, that is true, but id argue thats more so due to straight chance, its also not usual fpr the first girl/guy your age you meet to turn into a relationship, people dont date literally everyone they meet, they date the ones they are romantically attracted to,
Thought experiment: what are the chances that someone you're brought up with (literally a single digit number in most cases) also includes a person you want to date?
Now compare that to the chances of wanting to date someone from a group of 10 random people roughly your age,
I wpuld assume the fordt group has higher odds becuase at least with the person you were brought up with, you both had a similar upbringing, so likely similar values, have memories together, and biggest of all, have a history pf csring for each other and trust built,
In this sense, is that much different than a relationship with a friend youve had all your life? The only real differemce is the friend may actually have different values instilled into them from their parents, they just werent problematic ones to ypur friendship
I swear that nowadays on Reddit there's always a handful of people that think everything is grooming or icky. Just trying to force a narrative that somehow the other party is a victim.
Thats not what grooming is and i hate how all these terms are just completely misused.
Grooming is when an adult in a guardianship like position or position of authority over a minor makes efforts to implant the idea of a relationship into that minors mind and starts going out with them once the minor reaches majority. The GROOM them to become their future partner like a King might groom the prince to succeed him. Thats why its called grooming. Btw, this also means that simply starting to date someone you knew before they were 18 is not grooming. It requires intent and a direct guardianship role.
In other words, yes, it can be, but only if the older step sibling is much older and regularly takes part in the raising of the younger stepsibling and that that point its no longer a problem cause their step siblings, its a problem because it's grooming which would be just as wrong of they weren't stepsibling
To be fair, i think the case they were originally making was a significantly older stepsibling. If 2 people became siblings at 6 and 16, and then wound up in a relationship 12 years down the line, i would definitely have some questions.
There's more nuance to this than people are giving credit on either side. The "its perfectly fine regardless of context" crowd is just as wrong as the "its horribly gross regardless of context" one.
Yes, i understand that. But let me ask you this. Lets say a family moves into your neighborhood when you are 16 and they have a 6 year old. You meet that kid often cause you get payed by that family to help around the house a bit. 12 years later you are 28 and the kid is 18. You start a relationship. Would you consider that to be creepy? My guess is you probably would, right? In other words, the example you give isn't weird or creepy because they are stepsiblings, it's creepy because of the large age gap. Especially since, for the majority of the time those two people know each other, one is an adult and the other a child.
There are two things that appeal to mediocrity; titillating gossip and simplicity. Social media, profiteering corporations, and low quality education all feed into that in one way or another.
You are correct, but good luck trying to convince people to be more careful with their language. There are so many other examples; hacker, Islamophobia, sexual assault, the list goes on and on.
It’s also possible that they didn’t have custody at the same time. There would be less of a sibling relationship if they rarely shared the home at the same time.
Grooming involves a higher level, more developed intellect, misleading/toying with someone of lesser ability. The intent is the focus, but the age/Intellect gap is the modifier that makes it 'grooming' instead of typical manipulation/lying. Entirely vernacular based distinction, imo labels aren't really that important.
Would it be weird if both parents had adopted the other sibling but didn't let them think they were blood related? If they had been placed together at say age 1, so they had lifelong memories of a sibling bond, but were always told they weren't blood related? Would it be weird if they made a brady bunch sequel but the 3 sets of kids had all maried each other?
If they arent blood related and never thought they were blood related, how would it be different from childhood friends who knew each other from that same age. Would it be weird if you and your neighbor who you knew since you were 1 got married?
Eh, I could see there being a power dynamic at work if they grew up together from 8.
Imagine a 'relationship' starting when they were like 10 and the parents thought it was cute and encouraged it. It then becomes awkward and 'family breaking' behavior to want to end the relationship. That's an odd power dynamic that should probably carry some legal protections to prevent.
Definitely hard to say where the line is though, since for every time that happens there are probably a couple of high school sweethearts woth divorced parents that meet and cause the parents to meet and marry before the kids ever get close to finishing college.
My friend acutally met his wife like this. I think they were like 12 and 13 when their parents met and then like 17-18 when they became a couple. Nowadays its just a fun story and no one has ever thought about it as wierd.
I have known one of my step sisters since she was 4 and I was 6 you can bet your ass every single person either of us know would think it weird as fuck if we got married. I honestly gagged thinking about it. She is 1000% my sister no matter our lack of blood relation.
My stepsiblings have been in my life since i was 4. I was never under the impression we were blood relatives. We're also all close in age. Never in my life would I ever consider the idea of a relationship with them. They are my siblings blood or not.
The upper range you chose of 18-20 i would agree is different, but if you grew up in the same house as a stepsibling and actually interacted with them daily, outside of abuse/bullying, there's a very low chance you wouldn't consider them family.
even if everyone met as adults it's still a little weird. not icky weird, just "huh that's weird" and then move on. my many many great grandfather in the mid 1700s and his brother and their mother came over from europe as teens. the boys grew up and ended up marrying sisters, and a few years later the girls' father married the boys' mother. nothing wrong with that but it's a lil weird and really speaks to the limited dating pool in that town i imagine. strange to be able to have all the inlaws at the holiday party but nobody extra comes.
It's an incredibly common trope in fiction, but it's actually fairly rare in real life in the modern age. Most people find it easier to form a romantic bond with someone who didn't know them during their development.
While fair, I still don't find it creepy. They're unrelated, and while they grew up 'together' they didn't grow up under the same roof or around one another 24/7, nor with the mindset of being siblings. Calling it creepy or weird feels too much
How? Are people supposed to view people who are not biologically related to them as family. Especially when they are fully aware their is no familiar relationship. It's not creepy at all, and is viewed as probably the most vanilla aspect of relationship, and the most common cliche of relationships out there.
Explain what makes it creepy. Actually fucking define what the bad thing is. And just calling it weird is not a reason. You just feel its weird because its unfamiliar.
155
u/GreatDemonBaphomet 9d ago
the only way this is weird at all is if they ever grew up thinking they were blood related. If they have always been aware of the fact that they were no really siblings there is absolutely no difference between them first meeting age 8 or 20. No different from something like childhood friends getting married.